


Black Honey

by Bramadian0336



Series: Black Honey [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games), Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Star Wars Expanded Universe, Complete, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Issues, Gray Force User(s), Grumpy Luke, Han Solo Lives, Healing, Horror, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kashyyyk, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, Mystery, Nar Shaddaa (Star Wars), Not Canon Compliant, Old Republic Era, Possessive Ben Solo, Post-Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, Post-Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords, Protective Ben Solo, Redemption, Sith Empire, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Soft Ben Solo, Survival, Trauma, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wordcount: Over 100.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 129,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22154749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bramadian0336/pseuds/Bramadian0336
Summary: Jeyna is a scholar who's obsessed with the legend of Revan, a famous Jedi and Sith from millennia ago. Her investigation catches the First Order's attention. Captured and interrogated, she is expecting to be killed once she has no more information to give. Instead, she finds herself working for Kylo Ren. Their search takes them to many worlds, and further into a mystery lost in time. As their mission becomes more dangerous, she grows increasingly attracted to Ren and his past. She must fight to stay alive, and to understand her connection to Revan.This fic contains references to material/characters from Knights of the Old Republic. However, you don't need to know KOTOR to read, as it is explained along the way.
Relationships: Ben Solo/Original Female Character(s), Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Series: Black Honey [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1733002
Comments: 292
Kudos: 760





	1. Ch. 1

The little girl knew better than to be in this room. For the entirety of her brief life so far, she had been forbidden from entering it. Her mother had sternly enforced the rule, not even permitting her to peek beyond the doorway.

But her mother wasn’t home, having left in a hurry but promising to come back as soon as she could. The little girl had tried to behave, to play and to avoid that room that called to her. But inevitably she had been drawn to the door, her hand extending to the knob. Like magic, it turned and creaked open a few inches before she could even lay a finger on it.

And now here she stood, in the small room that was barely more than a closet. It was almost disappointing, if not for the strange object she found her gaze settling upon. It was taller than her, exotic looking.

She crept closer before giving a childish, worried glance behind her. She would be in so much trouble if her mother caught her. She should leave the room and go back to playing, she decided. Despite this thought, however, her feet stayed firmly planted. Her ears pricked as she realized she heard a light humming. Eyes widening, she instinctively knew it was coming from the object. It was shaped like a square pyramid, dark, reflective. She stretched her hand out, suddenly wanting to feel it. Would it be hot, or cold to the touch?

The instant the skin of her fingertips connected with the side, it split open, the sides folding down. She jerked backwards, dropping her hand as guilt spread through her. Now her mother would know what she had done.

Before she could process the utter terror her immature mind associated with disappointing her mother, an image was projected above the base of the object.

It was a holorecording of a man. He had dark, thick hair and intense eyes. A thin scar ran from his left eye down to his mouth, but somehow it didn’t mar his handsome face.

He looked too tired, but began speaking. The little girl listened in awe, wondering how a recorded image of a man could seem to look right at her.

“Revan. Day 134. Still nothing to show for my search,” he begins, sounding dejected.

“I’ve had nothing to do out here but contemplate my life’s decisions. Far away from the hyperspace routes, from even the most remote outer rim planet…I sometimes question how anything can exist. I fear the silent dark of the unknown regions might very well drive me insane…” The man shakes his head, his eyes stormy. The little girl wants to look away but finds she can’t tear her gaze from his. Something about him is compelling, something in her knows this is important. “Everything I have done, I’ve done to protect our civilization. The threat I have seen from outside is greater than any war we have ever faced amongst ourselves.”

The little girl hears the door to her home, and she knows her mother is back. But she doesn’t know how to stop the recording. She doesn’t want it to stop. What is the man talking about?

“Jeyna! JEYNA!?” Her mother’s panicked voice is screaming suddenly throughout the home. The girl startles and turns, confused. It is then she hears the noise, one that she cannot yet place. One day the sound of it will haunt her nightmares, almost every night.

The sound of the first bomb falling on her small village.

**18 Years Later**

The little girl grew into a young woman, and that young woman threw herself into her studies. Research, archives, archaeological expeditions…it allowed Jeyna to fixate on something purposeful, something that she found fascinating. It should be little surprise that her chosen area of research was Revan. The prodigal Jedi knight, and dark lord of the Sith, from thousands of years before her time.

She still remembers the man’s face, the somber timbre of his voice, as if she had seen the recording just yesterday. She remembers his vague reference to a search, to some threat from outside the known galaxy. It’s a mystery she’s been working on, sponsored by various universities, for most of her adolescent and adult life. And now it has brought her here.

**Dantooine - Now**

Jeyna races through the cave system, stumbling on chunks of rock and narrowly avoiding hitting her head as she has to run hunched over to fit through the passage. She’s unfamiliar with her path, as it’s not the same way she had entered the ancient vault. However, it's now her only way out.

Her breath comes in ragged gasps as she forces herself to go as fast as she can through the dark maze, hoping it's leading her to light and freedom. Behind her the stormtroopers’ shouts are echoing, reverberating off the rocks and surging towards her. Her heart hammers in her chest as her mind struggles to catch up with the current situation.

The First Order is here, on the peaceful farming planet. And they’re coming after _her._

Jeyna pushes herself faster when she realizes she sees daylight, the path becoming uphill quickly. The muscles of her legs burn as she climbs, eventually having to use her hands to grab at the jagged rock. It scrapes and cuts into the flesh of her palms as she scrambles upwards, the light growing stronger. She can see beams of light now ahead, coming around a corner. She’s nearly to it when the stormtroopers erupt into the space behind her.

“FREEZE! STOP WHERE YOU ARE!”

The shouts of the many identical uniforms blur together, and Jeyna ignores them not out of defiance but terror. As she reaches the top of the incline, a blaster shot rips through the air and impacts a large boulder near her shoulder, showering her with fragments of stone.

She staggers, almost falling in surprise, before righting herself and lurching forward. Around the corner, and she can see it. The mouth of the cave system, dead ahead. Jeyna pushes her sore muscles to move as she sprints forward, only to falter.

The sunlight dims as stormtroopers step in front of the opening, blocking any hope of escape.

**One Week Later**

_Are you working for the Resistance?…What does the Resistance want with the Holocron?...How did you get the Holocron to open?...What does the map lead to?... Where are the other pieces of the map?... What do you know of the Ritual of Nathema?... Who is your contact with the Resistance?...What are you trying to find?_

The questions they’ve bombarded her with for days blur together in Jeyna’s mind, as sleep deprived and stressed as it is. She’s answered their questions, time and time again. She hasn’t bothered to hide anything. She isn’t a Resistance operative, after all, she’s merely a scholar. Their war doesn’t concern her.

It doesn’t matter. Still, they hurt her. They wake her from her sleep, strap her onto the cold metal board. They ask her the same questions, over and over again, as if her answers could suddenly change. They don’t bring her food, and her stomach is past grumbling. It feels hollow, burning, pained. They don’t bring water, either, allowing a med droid to supply her with IV fluids to rehydrate her. It keeps her alive but leaves her mouth and throat parched and painful from her screams.

Jeyna twitches her limbs, restricted by the cold metal cuffs. This is the worst part of it. At least when they are done with her for a few hours, she can lay on the floor and curl into herself. But here, strapped to the board, even her head restricted into place, she can’t block out her situation or escape from the terror and pain.

The door slides open, and she is expecting more of the same men to appear. What she isn’t expecting is Kylo Ren, second in command behind only the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

A wave of relief crashes through her at his recognizable mask and dark robes.

Jeyna knows the rumors about Kylo Ren. That he is violent and ruthless, prone to literally slicing through his enemies on the battlefield and even those that anger him within the order. She doesn’t care about those rumors, though. The ones Jeyna cares about are regarding his abilities with the force.

Supposedly, he can enter someone’s mind and see everything they are trying to hold back. He can read memories and secrets like a book.

And so she doesn’t tremble in fear at his approach, but rather she feels the sweet relief that perhaps her nightmare is almost over. Of course, the logical part of her brain that is still hanging on knows that once he sees she has nothing more to offer in her mind, she will likely be killed. But at least, Jeyna reasons, this marathon of sleep deprivation, starvation, and torture can be over.

His approach, which had started with a purposeful stride, hesitates for a moment. That strange mask he wears tilts to the side, as he contemplates her. She wonders what he is thinking, if he is curious about something, as the door behind him slides shut again and he seems to just be staring at her from behind the metal. 

Jeyna draws in a painful breath, waiting. He is huge, she realizes, tall and broad. There is an energy around him that even she can pick up on, heavy and thrumming. Finally, he moves again, coming to a stop in front of her. He is too tall, she attempts to crane her neck to look up at the mask. The back of her skull presses into the hard table, aching. She sees his hand twitch, and suddenly the metal holding her to the interrogation device releases. Her legs barely catch her, almost giving way when she lands on them. She has to grab on to the sides of the table behind her to steady herself on weak, strained muscles.

He turns and strides across the room, to where the metal table and chairs sit. She hasn’t even approached it during her confinement. All of her time has been spent trapped on the interrogation device or on the floor, exhausted and wishing for sleep.

To her surprise, Kylo Ren sits in one of the chairs. His mask fixes onto her face again, and he gestures slowly at the table.

“Sit,” he commands. The mask strips his voice of humanity, of emotion, making it mechanical and unkind.

She stumbles forward obediently, pulling out the chair and practically falling into it.

“I find myself interested in your studies, scholar,” he says idly, as if making pleasant conversation. “I’m going to look inside your mind to check the veracity of your prior statements.”

Jeyna nods slightly, having expected this. The feeling of relief returns, accompanied by sadness. He’ll see she’s told everything she can, and he’ll have the stormtroopers come for her. Will they give her a blaster shot to the head? Or just shove her out of an airlock?

Ren reaches forward a hand, low, hovering above the table. The palm of his black glove is up, as if waiting. “Try to not resist me. It will hurt less,” his mechanical voice says quietly.

Her eyes widen slightly in surprise at his advice, before the pressure starts in her skull. It’s like the atmosphere is suddenly too heavy, pressing down on her head from all sides. And then she feels it, she feels _him_. It’s as if something is inside her brain, crawling around, sliding through her thoughts.

Jeyna instantly resists on instinct, wills away the intrusion. She is met with blinding pain, throbbing and shooting and making her eyes see nothing but static.

“Don’t resist,” he orders, but she can barely hear him. She tries to obey, to give in. She accepts the pressure, the uncomfortable sense of wrongness that his presence in her mind presents. She feels tears leak out of her eyes at the sensations, but the pain dulls gradually.

When her vision comes back to her, it is swimming. The room is rotating nonsensically, and she grips the edges of the table and fights waves of nausea. Her fingers hurt from the pressure she applied trying to dig them into the metal, and she consciously releases her grip. Slowly, her vision stops spinning and she can focus her eyes again.

Kylo Ren sits across from her, silent. Waiting. She raises her eyes to his mask, and bizarrely wishes she could see his face. Even if it was hideous, even if he was twisted by the dark side like the rumors said… Jeyna would like to see one last face before her death, instead of masks.

He cocks his head slightly to the side again. “You do not work for the resistance,” he states finally.

“No. Like I told them, I don’t work for anyone,” she says, her voice coming out hoarse and frustrated.

“You are wrong,” Ren says, suddenly standing. “You work for me now.”

Jeyna is left staring after his imposing form as he strides to the door. It slides open for him to exit, and she is left alone to process what he has said.


	2. Ch. 2

Several moments pass, and Jeyna stares at the empty metal chair across from her that had previously held the intimidating presence of Kylo Ren. She still cannot make sense of his statement. He wants her to work for him? Surely the First Order has people he could put to task on continuing her research?

From outside of her cell she hears a scream and a loud thud, jerking her from her thoughts. The door slides open a moment later, and two stormtroopers enter. One is limping noticeably.

“Get up, you’re coming with us,” the one who isn’t injured orders her. He gestures impatiently at the open door.

She stumbles to her feet once again, muscles protesting at any exertion. From there she has to stagger to keep up with the grueling pace the troopers set, reaching for energy reserves that don’t exist as they prod her along the sterile, endless halls of the ship.

Jeyna isn’t sure which ship she’s even on. Judging by how much of it she’s seeing now, its massive. If she had been more alert, less on the verge of collapse, she might have taken an interest in her surroundings. She probably would have had a dozen or more questions, always intrigued by the unknown. But as it is, it takes all of her brain’s effort to continue dragging one foot in front of the other as she is marched along. The troopers they pass say nothing, exchanging small nods with the pair escorting her.

Vaguely, she wonders if Ren had changed his mind, and they are taking her to her death. Just as that thought crosses her mind, they come to an elevator. The injured trooper shoves her shoulder roughly when Jeyna doesn’t automatically jump into it, as soon as the doors slide open. Numbers blur past as Jeyna works to hold herself upright in the cramped space, and then it stops.

“Come on,” one of them grabs her arm, dragging her from the elevator. Her legs are barely cooperating by now, and she almost trips as he tightens his grip painfully on her arm.

They stop before a plain door, a series of numbers in black metallic font on the front. It slides open, and Jeyna is unceremoniously shoved into the new room. She turns in surprise as she hears the door shut behind herself, realizing the troopers are leaving her alone.

Turning back around, Jeyna takes in her new surroundings… and realizes it isn’t a cell. She is in staff quarters. They are small, basic quarters, but nonetheless an improvement over a prison cell. It is then that her eyes catch the small table in the corner, opposite the bed. There is a meal, and water. Glorious water.

She has to force herself to drink slowly, despite her instincts screaming at her to guzzle down as much as she can. Eventually, she even chances eating some of the food. It immediately reignites her hunger, but she has to battle an odd nausea that comes over her as well. Eventually, she hits a point where she can force no more into her shrunken stomach without risking being sick. Jeyna finally looks around at the room again, now that she isn't solely fixated on hunger.

The bed looks so inviting. Glancing down at herself, she realizes she is absolutely disgusting in the amount of filth on her. Dirt and mud from her time exploring the caves of Dantooine, finding the vault that contained the star map and holocron, cake her clothes. Blood from cuts and scrapes stains her skin.

There is a small refresher in the corner of the room, and she pulls open the only metal locker she finds. It is stocked with basic uniform clothing, and boots. On the top shelf are two towels. Sighing in relief, she pulls one down before taking a long, painful shower. Her skin stings wherever an open, untreated wound is met with soap and water. She has to basically rip her hair out to work through the knots and snarls. But eventually, Jeyna finds herself clean, and collapses onto the first real bed she’d seen in over a week. The sleep that overtakes her is a black void, but sweet and welcome.

**The Next Morning**

Jeyna wakes after hours of heavy sleep to her heart pounding, the sensation that thick, acrid smoke is choking her airways. Her head is thudding with the imagined sound of explosions.

She lays still for a moment, allowing the panic to seep out of her limbs. It was only a nightmare. The same nightmare, as always. It came to her anytime she slept, the memories of destruction morphing into something that haunted her brain nightly.

Eventually, she kicks the blanket back and sits up on the narrow bed. The lights in the room must sense her motion, gradually brightening. Her stomach gives a ridiculously loud groan and her eyes fly to the table, spotting the leftover food from the night before. She doesn’t hesitate to sit at the table and grab the fruit off the tray to scarf down, barely tasting it.

She has just finished when the door slides open. The chair squeaks as she pushes it back clumsily to stand. Outside in the hall are two troopers, flanking a man in a very fancy, dark uniform. He strides into the room without bothering to greet her, his hair a reddish orange shade and slicked heavily down with grease. Jeyna swallows nervously, surveying the pins on his suit. She doesn’t know the First Order’s rankings, but she assumes he must be high up.

He stares down his nose at her, face condescending. “So, you're Ren’s pet academic,” he sneers, eyes narrowing as he examines her.

Jeyna stays silent, not knowing what to say. She barely even understood why she was still alive, let alone how to justify it to this officer.

“Of course you are young and pretty. Doubtless he’s just keeping you around to look at,” he says offhandedly, holding up a datapad in his hand as if examining it. He flicks off an imaginary bit of dust from its screen before his eyes return to hers, and he huffs impatiently. “Don’t you speak?” he snaps.

“Yes,” Jeyna forces out.

“Your _master_ is a fool,” The man continues angrily, spitting out the word master as if it were venomous. “When you mess up, as I am sure you will... be assured that unlike Ren, I will not hesitate to throw you out of an airlock.”

Jeyna grits her teeth. “Understood,” she grinds out. She had been contemplating such a fate just hours ago without it bothering her. But something about the man before her threatening her with it makes her temper, a temper that had vanished days ago on the interrogation table, flare.

“I’m to give you this,” he says with a roll of the eyes. The datapad is thrust into her hand. “It is connected to our databases. A terrible idea, really.”

He waits, eyes flickering about the room as if he is bored while waiting for a response. He doesn’t get one. He sighs. “You are quite a boring one, aren’t you? Very well. You’ve been granted access to common areas of the ship, but anything that requires security access is barred to you. The elevator will take you to the dining hall, it’s 3 levels down. Otherwise I’d suggest you keep to yourself.”

The redheaded officer turns neatly on his shiny black boots and strides back to the door. He pauses before leaving. “Good luck, little pet,” he says, voice full of contempt. She cringes at the nickname and is relieved when the door closes behind him.

Jeyna straightens her uniform, rumpled from having been slept in, and hesitantly sits back down on the bed. The man didn’t even bother to introduce himself, apparently deeming her beneath even that. Despite Ren’s order that she was now working for the First Order, she has a sneaking suspicion that the ship is far from a safe place for her.

Eyes darting down to the datapad, she sighs. Might as well begin a new journal on the device. It was her habit to keep daily logs of discoveries, new theories, evidence…anything she could connect to her topic of interest. She has no idea where her previous device is, but this one would do as a substitute.

**Hours Later**

Jeyna had spent a ridiculously long time summarizing the information that had been on her previous device’s records as a form of organizing her mind. Then, she proceeded to record her discoveries on Dantooine. The ancient chamber she had stumbled into, the droid that didn’t speak Basic or any language she had recognized. And most importantly, the holocron and star map. The star map is what confused her.

She had been expecting part of the coordinates to Rakata Prime, a planet alluded to in historical records regarding Revan’s involvement in the Jedi Civil War. But the small section of space she had glimpsed did not match up with the star maps she had studied of the Lehon system.

Something is off with the star map, it is wrong. Jeyna pulls up all known star maps and hyperspace routes on the new datapad, studying them until her eyes have difficulty focusing. There are so many, she will never be able to truly check them all. Still, she cannot place the map from her memory on any part of the known star systems she can access. She wonders hopefully if Ren will allow her to study the map from Dantooine again.

Surely, if he is serious about her working for him, he’d give her access to it?

She finds herself full of doubt, and chasing close behind it, anxiety. Her stomach gurgles, making her aware of how painfully hungry she is. She’s lost herself in her studies, again, ignoring the need for food. That is a familiar habit of hers, perhaps the only familiar thing in her life currently.

Jeyna reluctantly drops the datapad, standing up and stretching. Her back protests from being hunched over the screen for so long. She realizes she’ll have to venture to the dining hall for food.

Hesitantly, she approaches the door of her quarters, only for it to slide open for her. She is surprised by her sudden freedom, despite what the rude redheaded officer had told her. Steeling herself, she pushes out into the hallway, only passing a cleaning droid on her way to the elevator.

It quickly brings her three floors down, and she easily finds her way to the loud dining area. She forces herself to march forward, entering the racket of the spacious cafeteria, despite wishing she could retreat somewhere less intimidating. A quick scan of the room, and she finds the long serving bar, approaching it quickly. Jeyna does her best to avoid looking at the occupied tables of First Order workers. She can see it is a mix of uniforms, from troopers to technicians and servants.

She mindlessly shoves food onto a tray before retreating to an open table, sitting with her back to the corner like a defensive animal. She has every intention of shoveling food into her face as quickly as possible, before retreating back to her small quarters.

However, the noise level had noticeably lowered after her entrance. Regretfully, she becomes aware of the glances, and some full out stares, being leveled her way.

Jeyna allows herself a small study of the people in the room, before coming to the surprising conclusion that her company is entirely male. She drops her gaze back to her own tray, eating quickly. Why is the entire room men? Was this ship only staffed by men?

She knows the First Order has plenty of women serving. She had even seen female stormtroopers before on Order controlled planets. So why did this massive ship seem to lean so heavily towards one gender?

The table nearest hers catches Jeyna’s attention as she stops in her hurried attempts to eat. It holds four troopers, their shiny white helmets sitting on the benches beside them as they eat. Three of them drop their gazes from her as she looks at them, but one seems intent on catching her eye. He grins at her, turning around more fully on his bench to face her.

“Are you Commander Ren’s whore, then?”

An unpleasant chill shoots down her spine at the comment. Her mouth falls open slightly, shocked and speechless as to what to say. She has never been called something like that before, keeping to her studies and avoiding fraternizing with the opposite gender as much as she could. Even when she traveled for her work, she kept to herself or fellow scholars unless she needed information from locals.

Finally, she manages to retort pathetically, “Leave me alone.”

His grin breaks into a large smile. The man sitting beside him elbows him, whispering something urgently. The outspoken one shakes him off, however. “Have you seen under the mask yet? Or does he keep it on while he’s on top of you?”

Jeyna stands suddenly, intent on fleeing the hall. He stands too, as if intending to continue the confrontation.

Until he goes flying, backward. The room becomes deadly silent but for the crash of the man into the wall, hard. He crumples to the floor, unmoving. Jeyna stares, mouth open, shocked and confused. All around the dining hall, heads are dropped as the men stare down at their laps. She sees the man, who was sitting beside the one now unconscious on the floor, dart his eyes to the entrance of the dining hall.

Turning, Jeyna realizes with relief that Kylo Ren is standing there. His outstretched hand slowly lowers to his side. “Come with me.”

The robotic sounding order is not that loud, but in the completely silent room she hears it clearly. She doesn’t even hesitate, following him as he practically stomps out of the door.


	3. Ch. 3

Jeyna watches as officers in the path of Kylo Ren scatter before him, making themselves as small or scarce as possible. She is practically running to keep up with him, his black robes sweeping behind him as he storms down a busier hallway than she had seen so far.

When they arrive at an open elevator, already occupied by two troopers, he growls, “Get out.” The troopers throw themselves out of the space, and Jeyna squeezes into a corner farthest from Ren. This elevator is smaller, and somehow fancier, than the one she had taken from her quarters.

She self consciously tucks her hair behind her ear, staring pointedly at the reflective floor instead of the dark figure besides her. She wonders, as the lift began to move, what he wants with her. Would he fill her in more on his expectations for her new job?

Jeyna chances a glance at the metal portion of his mask that conceals his eyes, only to feel the chilling sensation that he is returning her gaze.

“You’re wounded still,” he observes. The device on his mask makes his voice sound so deep and chilling, it is hard to read into his statement.

She gives a nervous shrug, fingers lightly brushing over the burn on her temple as she pulls her hair forward again to hide it. The repeated use of the torture device had left identical, angry marks on her temples. “It will heal,” she finally says dismissively.

“Hux was told to bring a med droid with him,” Ren replies.

Jeyna notices his hands are still clenched into fists that have yet to relax. His anger makes her nervous, makes her think of the rumors she had heard regarding his temper. She tries to dismiss them and stay calm. “Hux? Is that the officer who brought me the datapad?”

He slowly inclines the mask into a nod. She ends up babbling nervously at his silent response. “Oh. He didn’t introduce himself. He just said he’d throw me out an airlock when I messed up.” She rolls her eyes at the memory before realizing she shouldn’t show disrespect outwardly, clamping her mouth back shut to avoid saying anything else.

She hears an odd noise from the mask, almost like a huff. His hands relax visibly as the elevator shudders to a halt. She follows him out and down a narrower, empty hallway.

At a wave of his hand, one of the doors opens like magic. He gestures for her to enter the room first, so she does, hearing the door slide shut behind Ren. The lights begin brightening in the space, illuminating what is clearly living quarters. Looking around, Jeyna sees doorways to what looks like a refresher and sleeping quarters.

Her heart starts pounding.

_Are you Commander Ren’s whore, then?_

Surely, that isn’t what is happening, she tells herself. Her panic is without cause. Still, she finds herself freezing up in fear, staring at Ren’s mask.

He brushes past her impatiently, continuing into what she assumes are his quarters. She follows hesitantly, noting with some relief when he passes the sleeping quarters to stop before a closed door that looks like it was built for security. Jeyna watches as he tugs the black glove off his right hand, holding it up to a security screen on the wall. His hand is large, pale, but very much human. It is a strangely comforting sight, and she feels much less apprehensive as she follows him through the security door.

Her eyes immediately land on the holocron. Of course, they’d brought it from Dantooine.

“In your memories, it opened. I’d like you to try to open it again,” he explains.

Jeyna nods, stepping past him to kneel by the ancient device. She holds her hand out, just like she had on Dantooine. When her fingertips connect, the sides fold down, projecting a detailed image of a planet she had identified on sight the first time she saw it.

“Interesting,” he remarks, stepping slowly around the opposite side of the holocron.

“Kashyyyk,” Jeyna says softly, before correcting herself. “G5-623. If I had some time, I could suggest a search area. I believe somewhere on this planet-”

“Is the next part of the map, yes,” Ren interrupts her to complete her sentence. She sits back, glancing up at him where he towers above both her and the holocron. “Your datapad is linked to mine,” he informs her.

Her cheeks burn hot as she realizes he must’ve read everything she’d logged earlier. While there was nothing in it she’d have kept secret, she feels indignation at the violation of privacy. She has never allowed anyone to fully access her private records before. Of course, she should’ve assumed the device would be monitored. It was foolish to not think of that before, and now she feels shame add in to the color of her cheeks and clench in her jaw.

“You dislike this,” Ren notes in that toneless mechanical voice, still staring down at her from beyond the slowly rotating planet of Kashyyyk.

“I’ve just never shared access to my personal records before. I’m sorry,” she apologizes, hoping to move on.

“You don’t have personal records anymore. Your theories are mine,” Ren corrects her.

Jeyna swallows hard, nodding. “I understand.” What more could she say? This was the only thing keeping her alive. If Kylo Ren wants dominion over her intellectual property, she could hardly refuse him.

“Update your log with the suggested search area when you’ve narrowed it down,” he orders.

Jeyna nods again, standing. As anxious as she’d been to get information from Ren, she now is just as anxious to retreat from him. “Of course. Is that all?” she asks, forcing her voice to be neutral. There is still a small part of her that is raging at the thought of him perusing her journaled thoughts, it seems to anger her even more than when he’d literally forced himself into her mind.

“No.” He steps around the holocron, which began to close itself up again, folding back together like a flower blooming in reverse. He stops in front of her, cocking his head slightly to the side in a way that reminded her of their first meeting.

His sudden proximity steals the rest of the anger from her, indignation slipping away and leaving trepidation in its place. This close, she can feel that strange energy from him again, like electric current in the air. Jeyna wouldn’t be surprised to feel a static jolt if he’d touched her.

“This holocron hasn’t opened for anyone else whose tried,” he says slowly.

Jeyna's eyebrows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean? It doesn’t open when you touch it?” she asks quickly, futilely searching his mask. He shakes his head, just as slowly as he had spoken. “That makes no sense…”

She trails off, looking back down at the device. There is no reason it should be locked to anyone but her specifically. She is nobody. And it was thousands of years old. And yet she’d seen one just like it before…As if he heard her thoughts, Ren speaks. “It reminds you of another holocron. From your childhood.”

Jeyna’s mouth falls open slightly at his prompting, realizing he’s seen more of her memories than she had thought. “If you know that, then you know I just touched that one too. I didn’t do…anything… I didn’t lock it or…”

“I’m not suggesting you did,” he clarifies. “But do you know anything else about the holocron from your childhood home? Why was it there?”

Jeyna shakes her head in denial. “No. No, my mother never told me about it. I wasn’t even supposed to go in that room,” she says, her voice coming out shaky with fear at the line of questioning. “I never got to see the rest of the recording. I never got to ask her about it…” Jeyna doesn’t finish her thought aloud. Her mother had died that day, and that recording of Revan had been lost in the burning rubble of her home.

It’s silent for several moments, as she struggles to stop thinking about the memories. The only way she has ever coped is by not thinking about them. They pay her back for her negligence every night, but she can’t stop pushing them away in her waking hours.

Eventually, he speaks. “You knew it was important, even as a child. It is what drove you, and what brought you here.”

Jeyna lifts her chin to search the mask again, wishing she could see his face for some clue. She knows now this isn’t as simple as working for Ren as a historian. There is something messy and complicated here, and she knows he isn’t telling her everything. The worst part is she suspects what is keeping her alive isn’t her knowledge. It’s the simple fact that the holocrons open for her touch alone, for some bizarre reason.

“I will send the med droid to your quarters. I request you allow it to take a small blood sample,” Ren says, and though he uses the word request, Jeyna understands it is anything but. “Update the log with the search area, as well as any theories you have regarding the map’s final destination.”

She nods mutely, turning to flee his overpowering presence and the holocron that suddenly feels like a curse.

**Many Hours Later**

It is what passes as night time on the ship, though there is no true day or night. Still, according to the time keeping system, it is late and she should be sleeping. But Jeyna’s mind won’t rest. She physically feels better, having watched as the med droid applied treatments to her burns, cuts, and scrapes. It took the small blood sample, barely more than a few drops. She doesn’t know what Ren expects to find in the sample, but she feels disgruntled by it all the same.

Her datapad is open on her lap, but she’s been laying on her bed staring at its screen as she rereads her report. She’s written it as if presenting it to Ren, rather than a journal of her own musings. She can’t bring herself to pretend it’s private, so she tries to make it as direct and helpful as possible.

While she made some headway with a search area for the next part of the map, she still has no good ideas on what the map itself leads to. She theorizes that at some point Revan or an ally of his must have switched out the maps to lead to a different destination.

But why…or where…it eludes her.

Jeyna sighs before tossing the datapad down and stretching. Her stomach is screaming in hunger again, and she’s been ignoring it again. Her last experience in the dining hall makes her reluctant to go back.

She hopes the late hour might mean it is less populated as she gives in to her bodily needs and shuffles out of the small crew quarters. She doesn’t pass anyone in the hallways or elevator, and considers herself lucky when the dining area only holds a handful of men.

Again, only men. As she picks up her food, she muses over that. Surely there must be some women other than her on this entire ship?

Jeyna sits back at the same table she occupied earlier in the day, back to the corner again. She notices the few men don’t dare to look at her, which suits her just fine. The food is bland, but she shovels it down to lessen the ache in her belly. She’s about done, and contemplating if there is something she can snag to take back to her room for the next morning, when she feels the ship suddenly shudder.

It’s changing velocity, she realizes, about the time an alarm blares briefly from somewhere else on the ship. The men in the dining hall don’t move, not seeming bothered by anything.

For Jeyna, however, it makes her nervous. She’s not used to being on a military vessel, especially one built for combat. She decides to head back to her quarters so she’ll be out of the way if anything is going down.

She doesn’t quite make it, however, as a brilliant flash of light catches her attention from further up the hall. She passes the elevator, continuing on until she finds more flashes of light coming in from a viewport. As she searches the space outside, she finds that the flashes of light are coming from another ship in the distance. It’s firing on the First Order, but all of the blasts are ricocheting off the shielding.

Jeyna watches, transfixed, wondering if the other ship is Resistance or something else. She doesn’t get to wonder long, however. She feels another shudder, and the ship is obliterated by a massive shot. It didn’t even stand a chance. Debris is thrown before it begins drifting into a widening circle, and Jeyna can’t make out more details from her location.

The sight of the destruction makes her hesitate, however. She’s been worried about only herself since the Order grabbed her off Dantooine. But that guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach is stirring up the bland food and making her feel nauseous. She’s never taken sides, wanting to stay removed from the fighting to focus on her studies. But she’s heard about the Order, the rumors of what they do to entire planets. The atrocities they’ve supposedly committed. She still doesn’t know who to blame for the horror she witnessed herself, early in life.

Perhaps she shouldn’t be helping the First Order in any regards, not even to save her own life.

If what Kylo Ren is after is really that important to the Order… Jeyna thinks maybe she shouldn’t help him find it.


	4. Ch. 4

For the first time in her life, Jeyna’s nightmares change. She’s back in the interrogation room, strapped to the board. She can’t move anything, not even her head. The electricity jolts through her body and she hears her scream like it is coming from a distant place. It stops, and silence fills the room. But then the noise comes, and the first explosion hits.

She jerks awake to someone knocking loudly at the door to her quarters. Dressing quickly, she opens it to find Hux, the redheaded officer from the prior day, standing in the hallway. He looks tired, his eyes sunken with dark circles beneath them. She stares at him, disoriented from being pulled awake suddenly.

“Well, come on then,” he snaps in way of a greeting, gesturing to the hallway. “Your Master demanded I pick you up for our meeting.”

Grabbing her datapad, she follows Hux into the hallway. Did she miss something? She didn’t remember a meeting being scheduled. Was this a last-minute thing? Her brain feels foggy as she tries to process, following the officer and his typical dual stormtrooper escort as he barges down the hallway to the elevator.

Several floors away, Jeyna finds herself in a large meeting room with several officers. Kylo Ren is nowhere to be seen. Most of them are seated at an enormous table, but Hux simply paces instead of sitting down. Jeyna shrinks into a corner, hoping to not be noticed. This seems to be way over her head. Her whole life has been spent surrounded by like-minded academics. The First Order is foreign to her, and she finds herself retreating inward.

For the first several minutes of waiting, everyone ignores her. But then Hux’s irritation seems to hit poisonous levels. He stops his pacing to fix her a glare.

“I saw your blood results, you know,” He shares. “Entirely average.”

Jeyna feels her eyebrows rise in confusion. “What exactly was the test for?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Hux sneers, his lips curling into a mocking grin. “Midichlorians,” he spat, and resumed pacing the room. One of the troopers flanking the door follows him with his helmet, back and forth, back and forth, before the second trooper elbows him to stop.

Jeyna turns herself further into the corner, mind working over what he’s said. She has read about Midichlorians, and supposedly elevated levels can be used to predict force sensitivity. Why would Ren think she’s force sensitive? Nothing about her life thus far has suggested such a thing. If he thought it related to the holocron opening, that would have been easily disputed by the fact it did not open for him.

Just as Jeyna’s sleepy brain seemed to be content with abandoning her current train of thought, the door slid open. Ren barely had time to enter before Hux pounced on him.

“This is foolish, Ren!” He declares. “We cannot be dividing our forces at a time like this!”

“We won’t be,” Ren rebuts, and the mask makes his voice come out even in contrast to Hux’s stressed tones. “I’m taking a dozen troopers and a stealth cruiser. This should be low visibility.”

Hux splutters, apparently at a loss for a comeback. Jeyna watches as Ren turns his helmet to one of the officers at the table. They had all jumped up at his entrance and were now standing uncertainly. “Get the flight scheduled for today. As soon as possible,” he orders. The officer nods and gives an affirmative, immediately getting to work on his datapad.

Hux finally interjects, “I can’t believe you have the clearance to take off on a treasure hunt.”

Ren turns back to the redheaded man, and Jeyna can feel the energy shift in the room. He takes a step closer, then another. “You doubt the judgment of our leader?” he asks finally. It sounds like a threat to Jeyna’s ears. She finds herself weirdly enjoying the way Hux’s mouth opens and closes, like a fish out of water, in response.

“Of course not,” Hux spits out.

“Then make arrangements. I want experienced men, not fresh recruits. Mobile emergency comms relay. Radar shielding,” Ren lists off angrily.

Hux looks close to having a fit, his face turning a shade that matches his hair. Jeyna finds amusement in the sight of a large vein pulsing in his forehead, having already decided she dislikes the antagonistic officer. Almost as if he hears her thoughts, Ren turns towards her for the first time since he’s entered the room.

“Are you prepared to travel?” he asks. Her brow furrows in confusion. She’s managed to fill in from their conversation that Ren is going on a mission somewhere, but is alarmed at the assumption she is going too.

“Travel where?” she asks quietly.

Ren is silent as he stares back at her, the mask betraying nothing. When he finally speaks again, it is clearly directed to Hux though he is still facing Jeyna. “I gave you a simple order. Bring her here, and brief her before I arrive. _Why can you not follow a simple order?_ ”

“I don’t answer to you, R-“ Hux snarls, but is cut off suddenly. Jeyna watches, her eyes widening, as the officer’s feet are lifted from the shiny floor until just the excessively clean toes of his boots brush against it.

As she looks from Hux’s contorted face, gasping and groaning noises emitting from his throat, to Ren’s clenched hand, shaped as if it is around an invisible throat, she understands. The rumors are true, and then some. Kylo Ren is powerful enough to kill a man with his mind.

The thought sends a shudder of fear through her body, especially when she realizes just hours before she’d been considering defying him and the Order. If he looked into her head again, he’d see her reluctance, her thoughts of refusing to cooperate. But she can’t help but feel curiosity at his power. She’s used to that persistent, nagging feeling of curiosity when she finds a particularly entrancing mystery she wants to investigate further.

Hux splutters a moment longer, face painfully purple, before he collapses into a heap on the floor. Ren still hasn’t even looked at the man he just took to the brink of death, still facing Jeyna. She can feel his eyes on her, and she forces herself to look back at the cold black mask.

“I am going after the next part of the map. You are coming with me,” Ren orders. Even with the mask, she can hear that his breathing is heavier. She wonders if it’s from anger or using his power.

She nods. “Of course, Sir.” The Sir sounds odd on her tongue, but she doesn’t know how else to address him and is suddenly very aware of the officers all around them watching.

“Prepare a background report on the planet. Someone will collect you when it is time,” Ren says, before adding, “Dismissed.”

Jeyna practically scurries from the room.

**Hours Later**

She barely had time to compile a background report on Kashyyyk before being taken to the hangar. The ship they load her onto is small, and covered in radar shielding. She takes a seat out of the way, reviewing the information she’s entered into her newest records. The troopers ignore her, instead choosing to check their weapons and double check the cargo containers for supplies.

When the pilot boards, he hesitates by her before holding out what appears to be a small wrist band. “Here, it’s a tracker,” He explains.

Jeyna looks at it questionably after taking it. “Do they think I’m going to run off by myself on a planet like Kashyyyk?” she asks dubiously.

He smiles slightly before shaking his head. “I don’t know, I just fly the plane. Commander ordered you to wear it, so for my sake, can you put it on?” He gives her a hopeful smile and she finds herself returning it, before looking away shyly. Why are pilots always attractive and charming, she wonders. 

The tracker fits snugly on her wrist when she tightens it, a small red dot flashing intermittently on the corner.

Kylo Ren finally enters, the troopers snapping to attention at his presence. He doesn’t acknowledge them, or Jeyna, heading straight into the cockpit. She only knows they’re on their way when she hears the engines firing. She fumbles to put on her harness as the ship rises to exit the bay.

**Approaching Kashyyyk**

Jeyna knows they are almost there because she feels the shudder as they drop out of hyperspace. There are no viewports in the main holding area of a shuttle this small, but that is fine with her. Her nerves have steadily increased over the trip, as she knows Kashyyyk isn’t exactly a hospitable planet. There are a lot of dangerous predators on the forest floor, and relations between the Wookies and First Order are plainly hostile.

The search area she narrowed down is nowhere near First Order controlled territories, either. It’s in the Black Forest, a particular dense and dangerous region of the planet. The Wookies themselves avoid it, believing it to be haunted.

Jeyna isn’t sure why Ren wanted her to come along. If it were as simple as needing her to open a holocron, he could have removed it from the site as he did with the one from Dantooine.

She’s frowning, lost in thought, when the ship is suddenly and violently jarred from its path. There is a loud noise of impact, a powerful explosion. Thrown sideways, the harness keeps her from flying around the hold like several of the troopers who didn’t bother buckling themselves to seats. However, its constriction on her chest steals her breath away, and she can barely gasp in air.

She can hear one of the engines staggering, a dying noise, before the entire vessel begins spinning. Jeyna hangs onto the edges of the seat, nausea overtaking her. The troopers are shouting, trying to right themselves. Just as the ship begins to steady, a second impact happens. Chaos breaks loose. The ship is careening wildly in every direction, and she can smell the smoke from a fire somewhere. The only remaining engine is making a terrible screeching, thudding noise that she knows can’t be good.

Suddenly, the ship feels as though it is slammed into something solid. Several men and any unsecured cargo goes flying. Jeyna feels as if she sees the crate in slow motion before it slams into her shoulders and head, whipping her head back into the wall in a second impact. Her sight goes gray and staticky.

**Minutes Later**

The smoke is burning her nose and throat, it feels too real to be a nightmare. She wants to cough, but her body doesn’t obey her. She feels like she is suffocating. Her vision fades, and then rushes back.

It’s then Jeyna realizes she’s being dragged, the dirt scraping at the bare skin of her lower back where her uniform has ridden up. Flinching, she finds her hands are trapped and being pulled.

Her senses all return at once, as suddenly she can hear the sound of blaster shots and another weapon Jeyna couldn’t recognize by sound alone. She sees tree cover overhead, and twisting her head around realizes she is being dragged by a Wookie. She’d never met a Wookie before, but the sight was terrifying. He is huge, impossibly tall and broad. Both of her wrists are in one of his furry hands as he tugs her along the ground.

For the first time since the crash began, Jeyna screams. It’s lost in the sound of battle, so loud is the firing, shouting, and roaring of the Wookies. She attempts to pull on her wrists, but that only causes the Wookie to yank her up by her arms and throw her over his shoulder. She flails, but she can see more from this angle.

The smoking wreckage of the shuttle is behind her. There are two huge wounds in the exterior from where it was hit, and it’s still burning in some places. The troopers are arranged around it, attempting to use it as some sort of cover as they fire off shot after shot from their blasters. Kylo Ren is out farther from the ship, and he’s surrounded. She can make out flashes of red, against the black of his uniform. But once her eyes take in the sheer number of Wookies, she realizes they are impossibly outnumbered.

Jeyna stops flailing for a moment, letting herself fall limp against the back of the Wookie. He’s carrying her further from Ren and the troopers, and she can’t let that happen. She won’t make it on her own, and she doesn’t want to find out why he’s carrying her off instead of killing her.

She searches the belt that is slung around him, eyes spotting a knife. It’s small, but it might work. She grabs it quickly and stabs it into his shoulder without a second thought. He howls in pain, his grip loosening, and Jeyna takes the opportunity to kick again.

It works, but only in that he allows her to drop over his shoulder onto the ground. It’s a far drop, and something twinges painfully in her shoulder. But she forces herself across the ground away from him.

He’s already advancing on her again, jerking the knife from his own shoulder and dropping it onto the ground as he comes at her. His approach is halted unexpectedly, however, when a blaster bolt collides with his chest. He staggers backward, collapsing.

Jeyna spins her head to stare back at the crash site, but none of the troopers are even firing her way.

**_RUN._ **

The voice in her head is so commanding, she is already staggering to her feet despite her confusion.

**_GO, NOW!_ **

She obeys, running as fast as she can away from the fighting. She is staggering, her head dizzy from the crate slamming into her and smoke inhalation, but she throws herself forward. She hears noises behind her as the trees begin to look closer together, the forest growing more crowded. A couple more Wookies have noticed her escape attempt and are pursuing her.

She squeezes between trees, trips over roots. Jeyna attempts to use the forest as cover, hoping to lose them. Minutes pass by as she struggles on through the quickly thickening plant life, shoving herself through thickets of trees that are almost too densely packed for her to pass through. She hopes it will force the Wookies to fall back if they can’t track her directly.

She can’t hear them as well, they sound farther away. The sounds of fighting fade, replaced by her own panting for air and footfalls on the damp forest floor. She keeps pushing herself, further on, trying to be as quiet as she can now.

Eventually she doesn’t hear her pursuers anymore. She doesn’t hear anything but herself. The trees are massive, their trunks several times wider than her armspan. The roots form complex, arching structures off the ground in some places. She picks her way through, still pushing onward, until she hears it again. The voice in her mind, one she doesn’t recognize.

**_Hide, and stay put._ **

“Ren?” she whispers aloud to the trees.

**_Yes. I’m coming for you._ **


	5. Ch. 5

Jeyna hid as she was instructed, beneath the gnarled roots of one of the larger trees. The dirt of Kashyyyk is dark and damp, and cools her legs where they are folded against the ground. She wonders how far they crashed from the intended landing zone, and if any of the comms systems were salvageable from the fire. They’re undoubtedly going to need a new ride off the planet.

She’s in disbelief over what has happened, remembering Ren stating the mission would be low visibility. There was nothing about a crash landing and fire fight in the jungle of Kashyyyk, with a village worth of Wookies, that seemed “low visibility”. But how did they even notice the ship? With how small it was, and the radar shielding….

They had to have been actively looking for it, and known where it would be entering the atmosphere.

“You can come out now, scholar,” Ren’s mechanical voice startles her from her thoughts, and she jerks, thumping her already painful head on the root above her.

She crawls out, surprised to see that he is right outside her hiding place. Either she wasn’t paying attention to the sounds around her, or he had crept up nearly silently. She is willing to bet the latter is the better explanation.

He’s ditched his dark robes at some point, instead wearing only a black, ribbed combat suit and boots. He’s got a pack on, which she is relieved to see looks like it might have supplies in it. Hers is empty, save for her datapad. She had never gotten a chance to load it up with anything.

“The others?” she asks hesitantly, straightening to her full height. The mask stares back at her silently. “…They’re…They’re all dead?”

“Yes,” he confirms simply.

Jeyna thinks of the charming pilot who gave her the tracker bracelet, the first person to smile at her since she left Dantooine. She pushes away the accompanying sadness. She can’t deal with it right now, and her life has trained her to push away the things she cannot handle for another time.

“There were too many of them. I don’t even know how I got away. I think the pair chasing me just stopped following,” she says, rambling to fill the silence.

“I put the suggestion in their head that they saw you run the other way,” Ren explains. “We need to move, we crashed far from the landing site. And there are still a lot of hostiles not far from here.”

“They knew we were coming,” Jeyna blurts out.

“It would appear they did,” Ren agrees, turning from her.

She follows his lead for a few moments, trying to walk as quietly as he does through the trees, but can’t help her curiosity from running rampant. Someone leaked information to get them killed. And though Jeyna doesn’t know many people in the First Order, she can’t help the suspicion in her gut that Hux might be to blame. His poor relationship with Ren is obvious, providing motive, and something about the man just seems…weaselly.

Jeyna decides if he is to blame for all this, she’d really like to stomp her boot into his face. She can practically see the way his features would smoosh underfoot-

“You have…amusing thoughts,” Ren says from ahead of her.

Jeyna hesitates, stumbling a bit on the uneven ground. “You saw that?”

“Yes.” He continues on, not stopping. She picks up her pace to not fall behind.

“Do you always know my thoughts?” she asks, suddenly feeling a little alarmed over what he might have picked up on already.

“No. Only if I’ve…tuned in,” Ren says. Her cheeks burn as she contemplates the lack of privacy inside her own brain. “I was curious what you were thinking. You are right, it was most likely Hux.”

“Does he usually try to kill you?” Jeyna presses.

“Never so obviously,” Ren replies.

Jeyna finds it odd he is so calm, considering their best theory is that his associate just tried to manipulate their deaths. Then again, perhaps rampaging through a clan of Wookies helped to dispel some of his anger. Or perhaps, like her, he’s burying it down for the time being.

**Several Hours Later**

They stop by a stream, and Ren pulls two filtration canteens from the pack. While he is filling them, Jeyna sits on a root. Her head hurts, a dull throbbing ache, and she lightly touches her skull to feel the bump there. The light filtering through the trees is dim by now, the canopy having become too dense for any direct sunlight to pass through. It’s like a perpetual dreary twilight on the ground in this part of the forest.

Ren kneels in front of her, surprising her when he reaches out to turn her face up towards his mask with the fingertips of one gloved hand. She swallows a little heavier than usual, her heart beating faster at his closeness. “You may have a mild concussion,” he observes after a moment, letting his hand fall from her cheek. “Tell me if you feel dizzy or nauseous, before it becomes dangerous.”

She nods wordlessly, watching as he sits a few feet away. He immediately pulls a comlink from the bag, examining it. She suspects it must be broken, judging by the way he’s handling it. If they could get it repaired, they could arrange a pick up. Assuming Hux didn’t attempt to block their communications and strand them.

“I’ll bypass Hux,” Ren answers her as if she’s spoken aloud. “I’ll need tools to repair it. We might find what I need at the outpost you mentioned in your report.”

His reading her thoughts is getting very old, very quick for Jeyna.

“I’ll try to stop,” he says quietly, and she hears a buzz from the mask. It sounds like it’s filtered out a noise, perhaps a sigh? She finds it odd he offers to stop. She had assumed he would tell her to grow used to it, claiming ownership of her thoughts as he'd already done with her theories in her datapad.

She scuffs her foot in the dirt for a moment, thinking. “Do we even know how far we are from the old Czerka outpost? The search area was on the east side of it, past the abandoned village.”

“We crashed on the west side, unfortunately. We’re at least a days walk from the outpost,” he answers. She heaves a sigh. This is not a good situation. They are in the wilderness without cover or back up, with limited supplies, without a working communication device. Glancing at the commander as he stands, she’s at least glad he is her company. Despite how intimidating he can be, he will be useful when it comes to the predators of this world.

Speaking of which… “We should find shelter soon, right? Everything comes out at night on Kashyyyk,” Jeyna suggests.

“Yes,” he confirms. “Are you well to travel again?”

She ignores the aching in her head. “Yes.”

**As the Sun Sets**

“Do you think that’s our best option?” Jeyna asks, craning her neck to survey what is barely more than a treehouse shack far up one of the wroshyr trees. Narrow steps nailed to the bark circle the trunk in a spiraling pattern.

“Unless you’d prefer to stay on the ground?” Ren asks, and she doesn’t think she’s imagining the irritation that leaks through the mask.

“Fine,” Jeyna shrugs, pulling herself carefully up onto the first step. She is trying not to show her fear at the situation, but it is far from anything she’s handled before. The planets she’s travelled to before have always been more civilized, she’s never been in a place with so many dangers and so little preparation.

She senses more than she hears Ren following up the steps, and she focuses on her own exerted breathing as they climb. She tries to not look down, not enjoying the heights they are reaching rapidly.

The light fades fast as they approach the top, and Jeyna hesitantly pulls herself onto the platform. The shelter is old, she can tell no one has occupied it for a long while. All the same, it has walls and a door, which is more than she can say about anything else they’d come across during their hike. She makes room for Ren, watching as he moves forward to open the door and disappears inside.

She wanders as close to the edge as she dares, peering down at the forest floor. She can barely make it out, it is almost entirely black beneath the platform. The forest is waking up, strange noises issuing from all around. It feels so much more alive than it did just an hour before, as animal life begins making itself known.

“You should stay away from the edge,” Ren’s voice advises her, and she obeys, backing up. He’s watching her from the doorway, practically blending into the night quickly falling on them.

“Why did you want me to come?” she asks suddenly.

“I had a feeling I would need you,” he says dismissively, turning and disappearing into the structure. She follows, not wanting to be exposed outside anymore. The space is small, dusty with age. It is empty, abandoned. The door protests as she pulls it back shut against the planet outside.

She sits against the side of the tree that constitutes the back wall, drinking from the canteen Ren gave her. It is growing chilly already, and she’s relieved when he tosses her a blanket from the pack.

“You should try to get some sleep, scholar.” She frowns at the informal title.

“You can just call me Jeyna,” she suggests quietly.

“Not Torre?”

She frowns in his direction, assuming it to be the slightly darker mass in the shadows just a few feet away. “I don’t like going by my last name,” she explains.

“Why?”

Jeyna wants to snap at him suddenly, feeling interrogated. Their conversations thus far have been brief, related to what he needs from her and not much more. But she realizes she is not tired yet, and the only alternative to answering his questions is sitting in uncomfortable silence.

So she finally explains, “I’m the last of my name. I don’t have any other family left.”

He’s silent for a minute, then two. She wonders if he’s bored of her already. She supposes she probably is boring to someone like him. But then she hears a hissing noise, and something mechanical like moving gears.

When he speaks again, his voice is different. She immediately recognizes it as the voice in her head from earlier in the day. Still deep, but human and emotional as opposed to the machine induced drone of the mask. “And that bothers you?”

She squints in the dark, wishing she could see what he looks like beneath the mask now that he’s taken it off. What would a man with so much power within the force look like? But she can’t see anything, the darkness is so complete. He’s lost in the black, just a voice that she finds surprisingly pleasant sounding.

“I guess,” she says uncertainly. She can’t bring herself to voice her real thoughts. That being the last of her family line feels like a burden. Oppressive in its finality.

“I understand,” he says quietly. She can hear the sincerity in his tone. It is much easier to read the emotions in his voice without the mask, and she prefers it immensely.

“You said you’d try to stop reading my thoughts,” Jeyna replied, choosing to deflect to a topic less personal.

“I’m sorry…The forest is very… distracting right now. It is easier for me to focus on you than all the life swarming beneath,” he explains. She frowns at his unexpected apology, imagining what that must feel like. How does he sense the creatures below them? Does he hear their heartbeats, sense their footsteps, feel their instincts as they hunt?

“Yes.” His single word confirms her thoughts, and she tries to imagine a world where there is so much sensory input. If animals are that distracting to him, to be surrounded by people must be exhausting. All of their emotions and thoughts and urges, constantly bombarding him. She can hardly blame him for trying to tune it out.

“That must be overwhelming,” she says softly. He doesn’t answer, and they fall into a surprisingly companionable silence. She pulls the blanket over herself, seeking some warmth before shivers set in. It is hard to get comfortable on the floor of the roughly built shelter, but she curls up on her side.

Sleep evades her for a while, as she listens to the sound of Kashyyyk’s night. Jeyna tries not to picture the animals she read about in her research, hoping with any luck to avoid them during her stay on the planet. However, she must admit luck has not been on her side so far.


	6. Ch. 6

When Jeyna wakes the next morning, she feels terrible. Her muscles are sore from sleeping on the floor, and she was cold most of the night. Sleep came in small bits and pieces, but was always punctuated by frequent, loud noises from outside. She attempts to stretch her back out, standing up and tucking the blanket and canteen into her pack.

Kylo Ren has already left the old shack, but she finds him on the platform outside. He’s sitting, perfectly still, his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. It’s an odd sight to see such a large man posed so gracefully.

Jeyna feels a bit disappointed to see the mask is back on. She had a small hope that perhaps he would forego it, with it being just the two of them in the forest. She fidgets uncertainly, not wanting to disturb him. She attempts to look around, but the view from so high up is mostly branches of wroshyr trees.

That is, until she notices the large dragonfly-like insect sunning itself in a single beam of sunlight, on a branch not far from their shelter. It is massive, longer than her forearm. Its set of double wings slowly beat up, and down, at a languid pace. She steps carefully to the end of the platform to see it better. She’s close enough to examine the freakishly large compound eyes. Each part of them reflects a slightly different color as it suns itself.

Jeyna wonders how an insect so large can possibly diffuse gases rapidly enough across its exoskeleton to be alive. She doesn’t remember the composition of the atmosphere on Kashyyyk, but finds herself wanting to check. It clearly isn’t extreme enough to require a breathing apparatus for humans, but it still must be fairly unique to support large insects such as this.

Her brain can’t help itself, and soon she’s wondering if anyone has done a large-scale study of the evolution of life on Kashyyyk. Surely someone’s analyzed what conditions would lead to the unique flora and fauna-

“Must you think so loudly,” Ren complains, suddenly dropping his pose. He rises, grabbing for his pack so he can toss her an emergency ration of food.

She opens it uncertainly. “I don’t think I think loudly,” she replies. His mood seems considerably more grumpy than the previous night, and she’s uncertain what’s caused the change.

“Well, you do,” he snaps, the mask making his childish statement sound almost comical. He begins descending down the narrow steps they had climbed the previous night. Jeyna is forced to shove her half-eaten food into her pocket to follow him.

“The forest is plenty peaceful now, why don’t you _tune in_ to that, instead of shaming me for daring to think inside my own brain,” she snaps as she struggles to match his pace descending the tree.

The steps are narrow and she’s struggling to focus on them and not the dizzying heights. Somewhere in her, self preservation reminds her that she shouldn’t be talking like this to Kylo Ren. Someone who can literally choke people with his mind. But she’d always had a feisty personality, and it seems to be surfacing the longer she’s away from the First Order. Still, best not to push her luck.

She tries to backtrack. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“I liked you better when you were acting the part of a timid mouse,” Ren’s mask makes the annoyance in his deep voice transform into a threat.

Jeyna bites back before she can think better of it. “Then maybe you should have left me in the torture room a bit longer! Another week would have done the trick!”

Her brain is all alarms screaming, she knows she is pushing her luck. She’s seen what happened when Hux backtalked Ren, she doesn’t know why she’s being so argumentative. Somehow their relationship has gone from distant but cordial to this childish, bizarre bickering and she has no idea what spurred the change.

Before Ren can retort, or simply choke her into silence, her foot slips. Panic grips her for one terrifying second as her hand grabs for the higher steps, but she misses them.

She slams down onto Ren, toppling him into the ground with her weight.

Luckily the drop wasn’t that far, Ren had already reached the forest floor when she dropped. But she can feel that crackling energy again as she stares down at the mask, mere inches beneath her face. Her eyes widen in terror, and she gulps.

“I’m sorry, I slipped!”

“Get. Off. Of. Me.” Each word is spoken clipped, quiet, as if he’s pushing them through a clenched jaw inside that cursed helmet.

She scrambles to obey, righting herself and offering a hand to help him up in an attempt at a truce. He ignores it, standing to step into her space. She can’t help but step back, feeling his rage. His hands are clenched at his sides, as he stalks forward again. She retreats, and they do this dance until she runs into the unyielding base of a tree at her back.

His arms come up to either side of her head as he cages her in, his gloved fists pushing into the bark. His mask dips to stare at her face. She feels the fear that has been lacking around him creep back in at his intimidation. He’s physically imposing, towering down into her space, and she feels a slight shake in her hands. “We’re making it to the outpost by nightfall. Keep up. Or don’t.”

He says nothing more, none of the threats she’d been filling her own head with. He turns his back to her and sets off at a rapid pace, as if he can speed walk away from his anger. She catches her breath in an attempt to calm her hammering heart, before following.

**Later**

The rest of the day passes in a marathon of hiking through the undergrowth, which is somehow becoming even more dense. Jeyna catches sight of more oversized invertebrate life, ignoring her itching desires to sketch them and describe them in detail. Pill bugs as big as her boots crawling on a rotting log, a snail almost her size oozing its way down a trunk. Everything on Kashyyyk is oversized, and she doesn’t attempt to stop herself from theorizing on the cause. Spitefully, she hopes her thoughts are driving Ren insane from where he is marching a dozen steps ahead of her. Serves him right for not giving her any privacy.

They don’t speak, and Jeyna periodically goes over the previous day in her head. Had she said something wrong to anger him? Or did lack of proper sleep set the Commander of the First Order into childish fits of irritation?

They finally make it to the old Czerka outpost as night is beginning to creep in, the light of day dimming. The ramp and stairs upwards is much easier to ascend than their last night’s accommodation, and Jeyna follows Ren away from the forest floor. Her legs are sore from exertion, her mood sour.

The outpost is a series of buildings connected by walkways through the trees. Some of them are in bad disrepair, and in some places the structures or walkway have been torn apart or collapsed. Still, they find what must have been a former dormitory, and Jeyna practically weeps at the sight of a cot. It’s old, and dirty, but so much better than nothing.

Jeyna wordlessly accepts another ration of dry, flavorless emergency food from Ren. The light fades in the room as she eats, forcing it down with water and noting that he doesn’t eat anything himself. Surely he must have eaten in the past twenty four hours. Perhaps he did before she woke up. Still, she surveys the dark outline of him on the other side of the dormitory in curiosity.

Why does he insist on wearing the mask around her? What does it serve to hide?

“Stop studying me like some creature you find fascinating,” he orders.

She frowns, dropping her gaze. “I don’t study you like a creature. But you can hardly blame me for finding you fascinating…”

“Is that why you weren’t afraid, when I walked into the room?”

Night has almost fallen completely, Jeyna can barely make out the darkened shape of him. She finds herself hoping he removes the mask again tonight. She has a weird craving to hear his voice once more, free from the mask. “The interrogation room?” she clarifies.

“Yes.”

“I…don’t know. I just knew it would be the end,” she shrugs, not wanting to revisit the mental place she had been in. The one where thoughts of death had been a relief. She pulls the blanket from her bag as a distraction, settling it over herself.

“It’s been a long time since anyone has met me, and felt something other than fear,” Ren observes, voice slow and barely audible to her.

“Don’t worry. I still fear you, sometimes,” Jeyna says, meaning it to come out jokingly. She wants to lighten the mood, to bring things back to a somewhat harmonious place. But it comes out flat, more scared admission than a joke.

Ren is silent for a long time. The cot is shockingly comfortable, or maybe that is the exhaustion catching up to her. She barely hears him as he replies, “You should.”

**Morning on Kashyyyk**

The next morning, she finds Ren repairing the commlink. She is going to leave him to it and explore a bit, when he informs her the outpost has a rain filtration system for rudimentary showers. He’s apparently already tested it out while she slept, and the filtration is still effective.

Jeyna is happy to follow his suggestion, disliking the amount of crud she feels in her hair and coating her skin. While the filtration is working, the collected rainwater is still cold and so she hurries. She scrubs the grit from her hair, while trying to not imagine Kylo Ren doing similarly just a little while before. Her cheeks flush as she runs her hands over her skin, ensuring it is smooth and dirt free.

Surely he wouldn’t be wearing his helmet in a shower. That would just be silly. The mental image almost makes her chuckle before she berates herself for picturing such inappropriate things.

She wonders what color his hair is. Is it pale, like his skin, or dark? She pictures the pale skin of his hand, the only part of him she’s truly seen so far. Pictures it underneath the black he wears from head to toe.

The flush makes her face hot despite the cold water as she turns it off, pulling her clothes back on. Surely, she reasons, its natural to wonder about such a thing. The mask presents a mystery, and her brain gets hooked on mysteries. That’s all.

Still, Jeyna desperately hopes he hasn’t “tuned in” to her thoughts while he’s working on the commlink. She avoids returning to him immediately, instead scouting out a couple more buildings. It looks like Czerka had pulled out of Kashyyyk in a hurry, leaving a lot of equipment. A lot of it isn’t useful, and the technology is long since defunct. But she finds a few useful items.

Jeyna comes up with a medpac, a worn map of the area, and a hunting dagger. The map clearly shows the ancient Wookie settlement they’ll be hiking to next, which reassures her. Something about having a map at a site always makes her feel more prepared. She tucks everything into her pack before finally returning to Ren.

He’s finishing up as she approaches. “We should be able to arrange transport, once we have what we came for,” he informs her. She nods, pleasantly surprised with his repair skills.

“Have you used one of these before?” In his hand is a blaster pistol, and he holds it out to her.

She takes it tentatively, shaking her head. “No. I mean, I know how it works. But I’ve never…”

“It’s off. See, here,” he points the safety switch out to her. “Don’t use it unless it’s life or death. I’d rather not see you shoot yourself.”

She sighs at the lack of faith he seems to have in her. “Alright,” she agrees.

“We should head out. Are you ready?”

Jeyna examines his mask, pleased that his mood has returned to what passes as normal for Ren. And though it frustrates her to not understand the cause of their tension, she much prefers it this way. “Yes. Let’s go.”


	7. Ch. 7

It’s late afternoon, but it might as well be minutes from nightfall. The canopy overhead has grown so incredibly dense, that sunlight doesn’t seem to be reaching the ground at all. It plunges the temperature lower than average, a deep chill that makes her shiver endlessly. Jeyna’s eyes have adjusted enough to stop tripping every other step, but she doesn’t like the change in conditions.

They’ve reached the area the Wookies refer to as the Shadowlands, for obvious reason. Everything is cast in shadows down here, and a fog seems to hover permanently in the lower pockets of land. Luckily, according to the pilfered map, they aren’t far from one of the elevators the Wookies used to descend into the region. Hopefully it’s still in working order, so they won’t have to hike to the next one.

Jeyna’s been keeping a lot closer to Ren, trying to ignore the hairs on the back of her neck prickling. So when he stops, raising his left fist into the air, she notices immediately and freezes.

“Something is stalking us,” he says lowly.

She had already noticed it too, somehow. The feeling of eyes on her. Something watching. Goosebumps erupt on her already cold skin, as her eyes dart around her surroundings. But she can’t make out anything but shadows and plant life, fog and earth.

Kylo Ren’s right arm extends, and Jeyna flinches as his lightsaber ignites. It hisses and flares, an unstable red beam. Jeyna’s read about the uses of kyber crystals, and suspects she knows what’s happened to Ren’s. In boosting the crystal’s power output to maximum levels, he’s fractured it. The broken thing is barely containing itself.

She recalls reading that the lightsaber reflected the wielder, and as she stares at Ren and his saber, both crackling the air around her with energy…she believes it.

Even the mask can’t disguise the animalistic growl that leaves him suddenly. She feels her feet sliding across the dirt, pushed by an unseen force. As Ren turns, she finds herself behind him, the lightsaber spitting close in front of her.

She searches the shadows ahead, and swears she sees something move against the leaves of an oversized fern. But as soon as her eyes focus there, she sees nothing. Another flicker, there and gone, near a sapling. Her eyes are dancing, trying to pick up on something they can’t discern. The sensation of eyes on her grows stronger, her fight or flight response leaning heavily towards flight. Adrenaline floods her system as her muscles twitch, longing to flee.

Suddenly, it appears from crackling air, as it is already lunging at them. It’s massive, nearly twice Ren’s height.

Jeyna is thrown by that same invisible force sideways, as Ren lunges back out of the way of its stampede. He brings his lightsaber down on it as it passes, but the beam glances off the armored spikes covering its entire back.

It slams an enormous clawed hand deep into the dirt, dragging itself to a stop. Horns protrude above small red eyes that are literally glowing in the dark, casting a demonic light to it. Wicked, hooked mandibles jut out from around its mouth. As it slams its fists into the ground, bellowing a snarl, Jeyna realizes what it is.

“Terentatek!” she shrieks, hoping Ren understands everything that one word represents.

It is immune to direct force attacks, and its favored prey are those that use the force. Historical records suggest it was bred for this one purpose. To hunt and devour force sensitives.

It lunges at Ren at the same time he brings his lightsaber towards it, slashing and dodging blows from its deadly claws. Its armoring is too effective for him to cause real damage, however, and he can’t seem to reach any vulnerable spots. He’s too busy blocking and evading to be able to hit it somewhere effective.

The monster has him cornered, and she watches helplessly as his lightsaber deflects one blow, and he attempts to use the force to stop the other fist sailing at him. It connects despite his attempt, and he is sent flying into a trunk. The sound of the impact is so forceful she gasps.

Jeyna scrambles to pull the blaster from her bag, making sure it’s switched on. She knows it won’t be very effective. A cowardly part of her doesn’t want to do what she’s about to do. But she has to draw the thing off Ren, if only to give him a moment to recover. It’s already advancing on him where he lays, and she attempts to aim at its body. She knows she isn’t going to be a good shot, and simply wants to catch its attention.

She fires. The blaster bolts hardly singe it, but they do seem to irritate it. It turns, snarling, to dig its claws into the ground once more. Then, it lunges itself at her. She screams, scrambling backward across the dirt.

“REN!” His name leaves her throat in terror, as she aims the blaster at its face.

One shot hits, surprisingly lucky, in one of its terrible glowing red eyes. The thing flinches, hurling itself sideways in pain. One of its monstrous clawed hands digs at its face, as if it could tear out the thing that has damaged it.

Before Jeyna can think, it’s on her already, snarling ferally. It swipes at her even as she shoves herself backwards, and she throws an arm up to try to protect her face. She feels the flesh rip open where one claw catches her arm. She screams again, as she tries to burrow between the roots of one of the trees, desperate to escape from it.

The earth underneath her gives a shudder, and she catches sight of one of the massive boulders nearby suddenly go airborne. It crashes into the beast, throwing it far away from her. She can see Ren is on his feet now, and can barely hear the deep scream of rage from his helmet over the ripping noise of roots tearing themselves free from dirt.

One of the trees nearby is uprooted, dirt thrown into the air as the heavy trunk slams down onto the creature, pinning it. The impact shakes the earth beneath them, tremoring powerfully as it comes to rest.

The demonic monster flails, its torso crushed into the hard ground by the weight of the wroshyr tree. Ren climbs onto the trunk, and his saber ignites. Jeyna watches as he drives it into the thing’s head, entering the base of the skull and emerging below its eyes and above the row of terrible teeth in its mouth.

It stops moving.

She feels numb as she lets her head fall back onto whatever is in back of her. She can’t tell if its rock or root. She’s panting hard, out of terror as she can’t yet feel the pain in her arm. Adrenaline sizzles uselessly in her veins.

Ren is in front of her, ripping through his pack. “We need to get you off the forest floor,” he orders.

Jeyna climbs to her feet, pushing up with her uninjured arm. Ren grabs her, and she watches as he ties something around her wound. He takes her hand and pushes it, hard, against her arm.

“Apply pressure. The less blood they smell, the better,” he commands. “Come on.”

She starts walking only because his arm is pushing her forward. Her brain feels fuzzy, but she knows she hasn’t lost enough blood for it to be causing this.

She wants to ask what he’s talking about, what would be smelling her blood. But she can feel it. More eyes on her. Her skin crawls, but her body can’t seem to produce anymore adrenaline to counteract the numbness in her thoughts. Her brain has been reduced to a useless mass inside her skull.

Ren’s lightsaber is not ignited, but still held in his right hand. His left is pressing into the small of her back, urging her forward. She sees the structure they’re heading to now, a primitive elevator. They’re almost there.

Relief floods her at the sight of the thing, even as her knees start to wobble. She tries to force her legs to work, but they feel disconnected from her control.

Ren stops, hooking an arm underneath her legs and easing her up into his arms. She swallows, even that movement manages to feel clumsy, as her body settles against his chest. She lets her head fall against his shoulder, feeling the heat from his body warm her chilled skin.

Her brain gives a feeble attempt at functioning, suggesting an idea. Could the terentatek’s claws be venomous? Is that what’s happening to her?

“Yes. But you’re going to be alright,” Ren tells her as her eyes slide shut.

She wishes she could hear his real voice tell her that. Everything goes dark.

**Not Long After**

When Jeyna wakes up, she’s in an unfamiliar space. It looks like the inside of a cottage or cabin, and its clearly late enough for night to be setting soon. The bed she’s on is massive, made out of huge slabs of wood. There’s an odd looking lantern burning on a low table, casting enough light for her to take in the room and realize she’s alone.

She pushes the blanket down to survey her arm. There’s a bacta patch over it, but it’s not stained with blood. Curiously, she peels it up to take a peek.

The flesh is clean, and almost completely healed. There’s no way bacta would act _that_ fast. Can Ren do something like that, she wonders? Does the force allow for accelerated healing?

She doesn’t recall reading anything about it, but perhaps it’s possible. Still, it seems like something a Jedi would do. Not a dark force user, like Ren. She hasn’t been able to read as much about Jedi’s powers. A lot of their records have been lost to time, or intentionally destroyed.

She hesitantly sits up, her head throbbing. She searches the space around her for her pack, wanting water. Her bag’s there, on a roughly made bench by the door. And sitting beside it, the fractured remains of Ren’s helmet.

Her mouth falls open in shock. She walks on unsteady feet to the bench, dropping down to sit on it. Her movements still feel uncoordinated, but it’s definitely improving. She picks up the helmet gingerly, as if afraid her touch could further break it. It’s dented in, she realizes, probably from the impact with the tree. It looks like he’s literally had to tear the thing in half to get it off his head.

Her eyes shoot towards the door, wondering where he is. If he’s badly wounded, he shouldn’t be out wandering around.

She sits it down, searching her pack but finding her canteen missing. She stands back up, wondering if she should look for him. They’ve clearly made it to the Wookie village, he’s probably somewhere near.

The door opens as if on cue, revealing the blackness of night outside.

Ren enters, glancing quickly at her and back away again. “Here,” he holds out her missing canteen, which he’s apparently refilled. “You need to drink, it will help flush the toxin.”

She doesn’t take it immediately. She can’t stop herself from staring, her mouth hanging partly open in shock.

His hair is shockingly dark, almost black. Half his face is covered in an ugly purple bruise, tracing from his jaw up over his cheekbone, and coloring in one eye socket. But that isn’t what has her so stunned. He’s young, probably around her age. And he’s absolutely beautiful.

Ren sighs, sitting the canteen down on the bench when she still doesn’t take it. “You’re thinking loudly again,” he accuses, his eyes catching hers.

They’re honey brown, and Jeyna is stunned by the intensity of them. His eyes look like they are holding back a storm of emotion, and she feels captivated by the maelstrom.

“I’m sorry,” she breathes. She drops her gaze, feeling the flush of embarrassment creep up her neck into her cheeks.

He steps back from her noticeably. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. How are you?” she asks, letting her eyes dart up to survey the damage to his face before flicking her gaze away again.

“I’ll be fine.” He steps away again, before leaning tiredly against the door. “That was a stupid thing you did.”

The rush of indignation she feels fights away her embarrassment, as she looks back to assess his face. He coolly returns her gaze, eyes locking onto hers. His face, even with the helmet removed, is still mask-like. He doesn’t show anything, anywhere, except for his eyes. And now they’re challenging her, confrontational.

“I was trying to help you,” she argues.

“You could have been killed. It was not a smart decision to draw its attention to you,” he says. She struggles to hear what emotion is in his voice. It’s turbulent sounding, and she can’t decipher if it is anger or concern.

“And if I didn’t, and it killed you, I’d be the dessert to your main course anyway,” she retorts. Her pride is wounded slightly at his chiding.

“I could have handled it,” Ren insists.

Jeyna fights the urge to snipe back at him. “Of course. You did handle it. Next time I won’t intervene.”

“Good,” Ren spits out the word. He stalks over to the lantern, extinguishing it. The room is plunged into darkness. “Go to sleep.”

Jeyna doesn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes at his attitude in the dark. She shuffles herself back to the bed, settling down onto it. It’s already grown cold from her absence, and the blanket does little to help warm her.

“Where are you sleeping?” she asks.

“The floor,” he says, irritation plain in his voice. She grits her teeth together in anger, fighting back the shivers that threaten to make her teeth chatter instead. All she’d done was to try to help him, and herself, survive. And now she has to deal with his surly temper again. The man might be able to rip trees from the ground and hurl boulders, but he was childish.

“Can you stop thinking so loudly!?” He snarls from somewhere near the door, where he’s apparently laid on the floor.

“STOP LISTENING!” She shrieks back angrily. Her teeth begin chattering despite her best attempts to fight it. Her feet and hands feel like ice in the chill of the cabin.

Jeyna hears a sigh, and then feels the bed depress next to her. Her eyes widen as she realizes he’s laid beside her. Breath jerks out of her chest in surprise when his arm loops over her waist, pulling her to him. Her back is flush against his chest, his arm locking her in position there.

“What are you doing, Ren…” she wonders, her voice coming out meek.

“I can’t sleep with you thinking. And you’re not going to stop thinking if you’re too cold to sleep.” His voice is so close to her ear, it sends shivers down her spine. They linger, not unpleasantly, deep in her belly.

She licks her lips nervously, but she can’t deny he’s warm. Already the shivers are abating. His breath stirs her hair slightly, and makes her picture his lips. Lips that are so close to her neck…

Her face is downright hot with shame, knowing he could be hearing her thoughts. She desperately tries to stop the train of thought. She does her best to empty her brain, to welcome sleep into it. She’s warm now, his body throwing off so much heat that she barely needs the blanket. She curls her legs back against his, a contented sigh leaving her before she can stop herself.

**_Sleep._ **

She does.


	8. Ch. 8

The next morning, Jeyna feels a rush of familiar excitement. It usually accompanies an impending discovery. She’s downright jittery in her energy, and she has to force herself to ignore the urges to explore the abandoned Wookie village as they cross it. No, she has to focus on the big picture here. They’ve come for the star map, not to do archaeology.

She’s relieved that Ren suggested crossing through the village, and using the last elevator to descend. It cuts out time walking through the Shadowlands, which is fine by her.

As they walk, she tries to observe as much of the village as possible while staying to their path, intrigued. It also helps her to avoid looking at Kylo Ren. She finds herself wanting to examine his face again, to search his eyes, for what she doesn’t know. It’s much safer to look anywhere but him.

She is drawn out of her thoughts when he stops ahead of her. There is an elevator on a pulley system, and beyond the walkway is completely destroyed. Though it looks like the village might continue on, they are going to be forced to descend here.

“I suppose our choice is made for us,” Ren says, testing out the wooden platform before gesturing for her to join him. The descent is slow, the chill growing as they sink further into darkness.

When they finally reach the ground, she notices his lightsaber is in hand. It’s not glowing, but very much at standby. “Stay close, and be on the lookout,” he orders. She chances a glance at him, and sees his face is stern. She nods obediently.

**Deeper Into the Shadowlands**

They haven’t been walking for long when they see it. An earthen hut, built into the roots of the largest wroshyr tree Jeyna’s seen yet. She can’t contain her excitement at the sight of it, practically sprinting ahead of Ren to examine it.

“What part of stay close didn’t you understand?” he mutters, catching up with her at the door of the dwelling.

“If this is what I think it is, we’re going the right way!” she exclaims, testing the door. It opens begrudgingly, catching on the uneven ground. She steps forward, examining the inside. It’s less impressive than she had perhaps imagined.

Ren follows, sounding confused as he asks, “What is this? It wasn’t in your report.”

“Well it’s not actually pertinent to the star map, but I believe this is where Jolee Bindo lived during his exile on Kashyyyk,” she explains. There are broken, rusting parts of an old bowcaster on the slab of wood that serves as a table, and she ghosts her hand over them in curiosity.

“Who?”

“Jolee Bindo. He was a Jedi who chose to exile himself from the Order, and lived out most of his older years here,” Jeyna explains. “He was a known ally of Revan’s.” There is a grime covered garment hanging from the wall, and she speculates it might be a Jedi robe. She’s shocked it held up so well over the years. Doubtless if she tried to remove it, it would probably fall apart.

“Why did he choose to exile himself?” Ren sounds disgruntled by the distraction, but curious nonetheless.

“He disagreed with some of the Order’s teachings. A lot of Jedi ended up doing similar back in the day. It’s actually easier to find information about exiles than the order itself,” she explains. “Bindo also married, which was expressly forbidden.”

Ren is silent, so she turns to look back at his face. It’s hard to see him in the darkened interior of the hut, but he is gazing around, his face unreadable. Finally, he returns her stare. The dark makes his eyes look as black as his hair, striking against his pale skin. The word beautiful wants to cross her mind again, but Jeyna brushes it away. She worries she might be angering him by stopping for this long.

“We can get going, I’m sorry. I’ve just always been intrigued by Bindo,” she apologizes.

“Why? Because he was a Jedi?” Ren asks. Jeyna doesn’t miss the way he says Jedi, as if it is a swear word.

She swallows hard. “No, not that…” She struggles to find words to explain as Ren takes a step closer, his eyes narrowing at her.

“Because he knew Revan?” he guesses, closer to the truth. “What drives your obsession with Revan?” Jeyna knows she isn’t imagining that his tone has grown aggressive. She wonders if perhaps the mention of Jedi has set him off.

“I’m not obsessed with Revan,” she says, knowing as the words leave her mouth that it’s a lie. She attempts to correct herself, squirming under Ren’s glare. “I’m… he’s impressive, is all.”

“From what I’ve read, he betrayed every allegiance he ever had. Yes, impressive.”

His voice is acidic, argumentative. She wants to drop the discussion. But she also can’t help but disagree with what Ren’s said. Still, she bites her tongue, taken aback by his rapidly changing mood. He steps closer still, forcing her to tilt her head to maintain eye contact with him looming above her. His gaze is far more intimidating than the soulless black mask that lies, broken, in his bag.

“Don’t hold back from me. If you think something, say it,” he orders. Her mouth falls open in surprise. She tries to drop her eyes submissively, but finds herself looking at his lips instead, which is vastly worse. Embarrassment colors her face for what feels like the hundredth time as she gathers her thoughts.

“Revan might not have been loyal to the Jedi, or the Sith… but not many force users in history were able to walk a middle path. He recognized that both teachings were inherently flawed. That ignoring a part of yourself wasn’t a path to mastering a connection to the force. He went his own way. He was brave for doing that,” She blurts out her thoughts so rapidly, she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t catch half of them. It’s not until she stops that she realizes she might have offended Ren further with her explanation.

But his face actually relaxes slightly, as much as can be noticed with how rigidly he holds it. Something about her answer has defused his temper, surprising her.

“I didn’t realize you were also a philosopher of the force, Jeyna.”

Her eyes widen, unable to discern if he is cruelly mocking her or merely teasing her. “You asked why I found him impressive, and that is my answer,” she retorts defensively.

“An interesting answer,” he replies. He finally looks away from her, and she feels like she is physically deflating as the tension leaves her muscles. He has set her on edge, his energy intense and chaotic. How had she fallen asleep so quickly against this man just the previous night? She had even found the closeness comforting. Now she feels like an exposed nerve to him.

“We should move on, if you’re quite done examining for signs of your hero. Before you dragged us in here, I felt something interesting ahead,” Ren says, voice regaining an unemotional quality. Jeyna nods tiredly, and follows him back out into the fog of the Shadowlands.

**Later**

The something interesting Ren’s felt turns out to be a nightmare of spider webs. They’ve colonized the forest floor, draping their webbing over everything. It turns the already creepy environment into a horror show for Jeyna, as she attempts to follow Ren’s path he slices with his saber.

Every so often, the gauzy material of a sliced web grazes her and she jumps, her heart slamming in her chest. She knows what made these webs, and she does not want to come across its species. But it seems inevitable as he leads her further into her personal hell.

“You’re positive what you feel is this way?” She asks again, desperately.

“For the third time, _yes_ ,” Ren grounds out. “Don’t let insects scare you.”

“They aren’t insects, they’re arachnids,” Jeyna corrects automatically. “Insects have three body segments, spiders only have two.”

“What a fascinating lecture you provide, Professor.” Ren’s sarcasm is thick, before he proceeds to hack at a clump of webbing that obscures their path forward.

Jeyna pauses to glance behind them while he works, only to catch sight of the glistening, bulbous end of one of the wyyyschokk spiders disappearing behind a branch. It’s massive, even from the small part she’s seen. She has to force strangled breaths in and out of her lungs, tears prickling her eyes.

“Come on,” Ren calls. When Jeyna turns, he does a double take at her face. “Are you crying?”

She shakes her head in denial, rubbing angrily at her eyes. For the first time since she’s seen him unmasked, his facial muscles seem to unlock fully. His eyebrows raise, mouth twisting up at one corner. She realizes he’s amused at her emotions. It makes her want to slap him, right across his handsome face. She sees his lips twitch as he forces them straight again.

“You didn’t even cry over the terentatek,” he says curiously. “But you sob at spiders?” 

“Just leave me alone,” Jeyna suggests, trudging forward and past him.

“We’ll be fine. As long as we don’t wake the big one,” Ren says dismissively, perhaps thinking such a statement would be a comfort. But she doesn’t find it comforting when she processes what he’s said.

She whirls back to face him, fresh tears springing to her eyes as she gasps out, “The big one?”

“Yes?”

She swears, using the most colorful language she can muster. She doesn’t care that he can hear her, she doesn’t even care that her meltdown is making her look weak to him. Ren gives her an unimpressed glance as he brushes past her to continue their trek.

As they walk, the wyyyschokk spiders become easier to spot. They’re overhead, in the junctures of multiple webs strung between the trees. Jeyna’s neck begins cramping from walking with her head held back, her mind supplying images of one of the enormous creatures dropping onto her. At one point a particularly pale and large specimen is blocking their path.

Ren cocks his head to the side, before raising his hand. The spider, which is the size of a child, goes flying into a trunk. It’s abdomen splits with the impact, spilling bodily fluid onto the forest floor. It’s legs curl up where it lands, shriveling into a freakishly large husk of its former self.

Jeyna feels nauseous at the sight, covering her mouth with a hand. “Did you have to explode it?” she half whispers, half groans in disgust.

“Of course not. Feel free to remove the next one from our path yourself,” Ren orders.

“With what? Do you have an unusually large shoe I could borrow?” Jeyna attempts to joke, knowing she is grinding on his nerves. Predictably, he doesn’t smile at the humor.

“Use the blaster. You need the target practice,” he suggests instead.

Jeyna is about to point out that she managed to hit the terentatek in one of its eyes. A lucky shot perhaps, but still a good one. But its then she notices what Ren has already locked eyes on.

Through the trees, there is definitely an unnatural structure ahead. He takes off at a determined pace, not even pausing as he swirls the lightsaber to take down the suffocating amounts of webbing. Jeyna flinches back as he slices through a hovering spider, and it drops in two singed pieces to the forest floor.

She steps carefully around it, its legs still twitching, to approach the building. It’s definitely a building, even as it is compressed on all sides by wroshyr trees growing into it. But that’s not the most interesting feature of the structure. It’s coated, completely covered, by odd transparent sacs.

Surely, those aren’t…

“Eggs,” Ren confirms her thoughts. “We should try to not disturb them.”

She nods. “I think I’d prefer that, yes.” Her eyes find the holocron. Its perched in front of the building, on the forest floor about a dozen feet in front of an ancient computer terminal. Ren immediately strides to the terminal, booting it up. Jeyna looks uncertainly at his back before kneeling by the holocron. She wants to see the next planet in the sequence. She has her suspicions for what it will be.

She reaches out a hand, but before she can touch it, she hears the computer: “Neural pattern rejected.”

“Come here,” Ren demands.

She stands, joining him at the terminal. She’s surprised it even works, the metal housing to the unit looks so corroded. “Look into the retinal scanner,” he says, gently turning her chin up and towards the screen with two fingertips. She freezes as a beam of light transverses her sight.

“Neural pattern accepted. Provide a sequence.” The computer juts out a device that looks like something off a medical droid. Jeyna can’t help but notice the rather sharp looking needle that unfurls from within it.

She shares a look with Kylo Ren. His eyes are turbulent, as ever, but unreadable as he surveys her. She is suddenly, painfully uncomfortable. “It has to be you. It won’t accept mine,” he states, taking her wrist in one of his large hands.

She jerks away, pulling her arm from his grasp. She’s surprised he lets her, even going so far as to hold his hand up in a pacifying gesture. She is still bothered by her lack of understanding, as to why the holocrons only open for her. And now the computer terminal too seems to prefer her. 

“This isn’t like Dantooine,” he says slowly, with forced patience. “The star map here is locked. I need you to unlock it.”

“Why me?” Jeyna asks, searching his eyes. She can’t help but feel he knows more than he’s letting on.

“I know nothing more than you. I think we’re both smart enough to take a guess, however,” Ren replies, his full lips in a terse line. “I’m not asking again, Jeyna. Unlock it.”

Her mind spins at this, trying to deny what he’s suggesting. Unwilling to let her think, he growls with frustration. He lunges to grab her arm again, towing her back to where the needle waits. She expects him to shove her skin onto it, but he doesn’t. He forces her hand over it, poised a few inches from the metal tip, but goes no farther.

She gives him a dirty look, infusing it with as much frustration as she’s felt in the last week and a half. His face is fixed, emotionless, as he stares her down.

She presses her index finger down, feeling the needle jab upwards in response. She breathes in sharply, and Ren drops his hold on her wrist. As she pulls her hand back, she sees the single drop of red blood roll down the thin piece of metal.

“Analyzing…”

Jeyna returns to the holocron as the computer processes what it’s taken from her. She doesn’t hesitate this time, dropping to her knees and laying her whole palm on one of the sides.

It blooms open, buzzing to life. Where she was expecting to see the planet of Korriban, or perhaps Tatooine, she instead sees a jungle moon. 

“Dxun?” Ren asks from behind her. She doesn’t confirm, though he is correct about it showing the closest moon of Onderon. Instead, she childishly chooses to ignore him.

The moon rotates slowly, as she studies it in confusion. Dxun was not one of the original star forge map locations, further complicating her theories. Though it did hold significance to Revan, she realizes, recalling the Battle of Dxun near the end of the Mandalorian Wars.

“Sequence recognized. Access granted: Terraforming Project Main Terminal. Loading: Terminal Interface.”

Jeyna stands again, curiosity outweighing her lingering anger at Ren. The mention of terraforming thrills her brain, suddenly making sense of her observations of Kashyyyk. Everything on the planet seems so oversized, so extreme and predatory. Could it be a terraforming attempt gone wrong?

She has half a mind to ask Ren to investigate the computer for further reference to the project, but the computer speaks before she can. Of course Ren’s of one mind, going solely after what they’ve come for.

“Loading: Star Map.”

And there it is, on the screen. Another section of coordinates she can’t recognize from any star system she’s studied. Ren wastes no time pulling out his datapad, and copying the map. Its when he puts his datapad away, and attempts to navigate the computer once more, that their luck runs out.

“Star Map Program: Activated. Sequence Prompted: Self Destruct.”

Ren gives her a single, startled look before issuing the command, “Run.”


	9. Ch. 9

Jeyna collapses to her knees once they’ve cleared the web covered section of forest, gasping for her breath. Ren drops into a seated position not far from her, deactivating his saber and breathing almost as heavily.

She wishes she could force herself to forget the sizzling, popping noises of the arachnid’s eggs being destroyed by the explosion. Or being chased through the forest by the “big one”, as Ren had called it, which had awoken when its entire brood of young were incinerated. She especially could do without seeing a spider larger than a rancor sliced open by a lightsaber ever again.

Yes, her curiosity regarding the planet had about run out. Jeyna was done with Kashyyyk. It had provided enough nightmare fuel for her to be content never returning.

Ren seems to be on the same mental wavelength as her, pulling the commlink from his pack. He gives up after a moment though, tossing it back in.

“We’ll need to try from higher up. The canopy must be too thick here,” he explains, standing. “We’ll try again back at the village.”

Jeyna nods, joining him as he begins their retreat to the Wookie elevator. She doesn’t bother making conversation as they walk, still nursing a grudge against him. She’s also lost in her own thoughts, about Revan and Dxun. She’ll need to do quite a bit of research to be able to suggest where to begin a search on the jungle moon.

And then there are still the lingering thoughts: What does the final map lead to? Why is Ren so interested in it? What purpose will it possibly serve the First Order?

And does Jeyna really want to benefit the First Order, even indirectly, with her work?

Of course, she doesn’t really have a choice. She knows if she attempts to refuse, he will simply force her. He’d likely not even need to resort to hurting her to accomplish it, just his intimidation seemed to be enough to make her cave. She feels weak at her inability to stand up to him, frustrated with her lack of options.

And then, there’s the concern about what will become of her once she’s provided everything Ren needs from her. Once she’s no longer useful to the First Order, what reason would there be to keep her alive? Would Ren kill her, or let her be killed, once she was done serving a purpose?

She clenches her hands into fists to try to dispel some of her emotion, her fingernails biting into the palms of her hands. She’s been foolish lately, caught up in exploring this foreign world. She hasn’t grasped the reality of her situation. It’s no better than when she was in the interrogation room of their ship, with a shock band strapped to her skull. 

If Ren is listening to her thoughts now, he says nothing. At least she can be thankful to him for that.

**Nearing the Village**

They learn a very quick lesson about weather on Kashyyyk: When it rains, it pours. At first, the rainfall is scattered enough by the canopy to hardly be noticeable. It’s almost pleasant, the noise of it hitting so many leaves, the fresh smell it leaves in the air.

But as they ascend on the old, rickety elevator, it starts raining harder, and breaking through the tree cover. By the time they reach the top, they are soaked. It doesn’t help that night is also setting, plunging the temperature deeper.

They break into one of the larger cabins along the walkway at random to get some shelter, Jeyna wringing her hair out as best she can by the door. Her limbs feel frozen and numb, and she watches in surprise as Ren hacks apart the oversized wooden table and chairs in the room to throw into the old fireplace. He’s never bothered with a fire before, she thinks. Then again, she’s never been this desperately cold before either. The shivers have turned into jarring jerks, her teeth rattling inside her jaw.

Jeyna realizes she can see him shivering, as well, as he searches through his pack in the nearly dark room. She sees the flash of the firestarter, but it takes a while to catch on the old wood. The fire starts small, but its something.

She inches closer to it, settling on the rough floor of the shelter. The space is dimly lit, but there’s just enough light from the fire that she sees as he strips the top of his combat suit off. He’s left in only an undershirt as he throws the top onto the floor in front of the fire, presumably to dry.

Jeyna rips her eyes away from the muscles in his arms, mortified at her body’s response. She rubs her hands up and down the wet sleeves of her own top, desperately wishing for it to dry faster. The damp material clings to her, prolonging the cold.

She ignores the sound of him pulling his boots off, the thump they make on the floor. They’re followed a moment later by his pants, and she pointedly avoids looking at him in his underclothes. The fire is growing larger, she notices, jerking with cold. Eventually she’ll warm up.

“Get over your modesty, before you’re hypothermic,” Ren orders, sitting down.

Jeyna jerks her head back towards him to give him a withering look. He returns it, his gaze once again challenging, reflecting the firelight. She’s indignant, and yes, she’s modest, but most of all she’s furious. Furious about the stupid rain, and this terrible planet that tries to kill her every other day, and she’s mad at being stuck on it, with him!

“You’re thinking loudly again,” he observes, bored.

Without even thinking, she rips her shirt off, balls it up, and whips it at his head. He catches it easily, his lips jerking in a way that suggests he finds her behavior entertaining.

She crosses her arms over her chest, the thin material of the white undershirt making her feel exposed. But now that her skin on her arms can dry, she can actually feel the heat of the fire warming her substantially. Jeyna sighs, jerking her own boots off. She tries to ignore that she can feel Ren staring at her as she tosses the boots away.

She lays down, lifting her hips to wriggle the soaking wet pants off. The undershorts are tight on her, and she’s painfully self-conscious. He’s still watching her, making her entire body feel covered in a blush. She resumes her seated position, her pants laid out to dry near his own.

“Are you going to just stare at me?” She snaps, wishing he’d give her an ounce of privacy back.

“Where else am I supposed to look?”

When she glances at him, unsure how to read his tone, he raises his eyebrows slightly as if genuinely asking. “Anywhere else. It’s not polite to stare at a woman whose half dressed,” she informs him.

“I wouldn’t know,” he replies, finally looking away and towards the fire. She furrows her brow at his response.

Something about it leeches away her anger. Instead she just feels nervous, and tired. Her teeth are at least able to stop their incessant chattering, and her jaw muscles feel worn from the strain. The warmer she feels, the more she wants to lay down and go to sleep.

“I’ll try comms in the morning. With any luck, we’ll be out of here soon,” he says.

“Good.” She doesn’t know what else to say. She hears him sigh, and finally lets herself break her own gaze from the flames. His long hair is drying in slight curls, pushed back from his face. The bruising on his face looks much better, and if she had more energy she might inquire if his power had anything to do with that. But mostly she finds herself giving in to her earlier desires to study his features. She lets her eyes rove over him, unable to deny that she finds him magnetically attractive.

His volatile eyes snap to hers, catching her. They narrow, and she feels her stomach drop in the sudden knowledge that he knows what she was just admitting to herself.

Jeyna stands suddenly, grabbing her pack to pull the blanket from it. She retreats from the fire, already missing the heat it throws. The bed is the only intact furniture left, and she crawls onto it and covers herself up, intent on going to sleep before she thinks any other stupid thoughts.

But the blanket is a poor substitute for the heat of the flames, and she finds herself shivering once more. Of course she could just go back to the fire. But she stubbornly stays put, knowing eventually it will heat the whole space. Her hands are still icy. She tucks them into the blanket, closing her eyes and wishing for sleep. It doesn’t come, her brain still running over thoughts repetitively, her body still too chilled.

After a while, she feels the bed move as Ren lays down. She acts like she doesn’t feel it, tries to not remember the night before and how warm he had been. How comfortable she’d actually found it against him. Her thoughts are quickly turning to something they shouldn’t, and she bites her lip in frustration.

“Come here.”

His voice is quietly demanding. She wishes she could roll over, turn her back to him. But she finds herself, once again, caving to his will. She scoots hesitantly across the bed, barely making him out in the flickering shadows. When she’s close enough, he pulls her against his side. Her heart is beating rapidly, her breathing feels faint.

Why is he affecting her this much? She’s never let a man affect her like this before.

She lets her head rest where his shoulder meets his chest, feels the welcome heat of his body. She can hear the thrum of his heart beating, and she focuses on that to drown out her own overactive brain.

“You don’t have to worry about what happens when this is done,” he says, quietly. She closes her eyes, realizing he’d been listening to her thoughts earlier. When she had pondered if he’d keep her alive once she was no longer useful.

She turns her face into the material of his shirt, wishing she could believe him.

**The Next Day**

They don’t talk much on their hike to the arranged pick up location. Ren seems tightly wound, reluctant to speak. Jeyna doesn’t push it. She’s perfectly content to not discuss how they woke up that morning, entangled together. She doesn’t understand why he’d immediately pulled himself away, his face turning stony and closed off as soon as the last traces of sleep faded from his eyes. But she tells herself she doesn’t need to understand.

She can reason that it’s better to act like it hadn’t happened. And so she lets the silence be, even as they wait for their ride. And when the shuttle drops down to collect them, Ren barely glances at her.

“When we get back, prepare a background report on Dxun, as well as search areas,” he orders. “I’d also like a report on the last known locations and mission of Revan.”

“Of course,” she agrees, trying to make her voice sound neutral.

They don’t speak again during the flight, Ren going directly to the cockpit and leaving her to strap into a chair in the main hold. There’s only a few troopers accompanying the pick up, and they ignore her. She doesn’t mind, closing her eyes and enjoying the much more peaceful return trip.

When they arrive at the hangar bay, she exits the ship on her own, determined to quickly make her way to her small quarters and away from Ren.

She doesn’t make it far, however, when she hears the mocking tone of Hux.

“Ah, little pet. You’ve survived!”

She freezes and turns, seeing him striding up to the shuttle as its engines are still winding down. He looks smug as he adds, “I’d heard there was some trouble on Kashyyyk.”

“Yes. It would appear some traitorous weasel in your midst thought leaking intel would be enough to get Commander Ren killed,” Jeyna goads him, ignoring the voice of reason telling her it’s a bad idea. The man’s already tried to have her killed, there isn’t much she can do to make their relationship more hostile at this point. “Seems they underestimated his powers, however,” she adds.

Hux’s pleasant façade falls immediately, as he scowls at her. “Be careful what you say to me, girl.”

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to imply anything offensive towards you, Sir,” she replies, her voice so devoid of sincerity that its downright mocking. She stares at him, enjoying the way he struggles to repress his anger.

Jeyna notices when the troopers behind him snap their helmets to look at the top of the loading ramp, and she turns to see Ren is finally emerging. He stomps down to their level, his gaze never leaving Hux.

“I believe we have a meeting with the Supreme Leader,” he says in way of greeting. Hux nods. Jeyna can’t help but notice both men are clenching their hands into fists, their aggression towards one another barely held in check. She drops her gaze from their staring contest, wishing she’d been able to just flee to her room.

Hux apparently flinches first, sighing. “I suppose we should get on with it, Ren.” He turns away, snapping a hand at his trooper escorts to follow. Jeyna notices that Ren doesn’t even glance at her as he follows Hux from the hangar.

It shouldn’t bother her, but it does.


	10. Ch. 10

Two days pass, without a word from Ren. Jeyna tries to adjust to life on the ship to keep herself busy. She’s thankful for the hot shower, and the privacy of the small room she’s been given. She keeps herself busy updating her logs, creating the reports Ren’s requested, as well as trying to establish a search location on the jungle moon.

She struggles with pinning it down, finding several locations Revan most likely visited. Dxun is where the last ground battle of the Mandalorian Wars took place, before Revan and his followers won in a crushing blow. Jeyna has to settle with outlining the three most likely locations for the next part of the star map, hoping Ren is content with that.

She leaves her room only for food, and only at odd times to minimize interactions with the First Order staff. No one speaks to her in the dining hall, though she catches the occasional furtive glance or whispers in her direction.

It doesn’t take long before she starts hating being on the ship. She dislikes the cold, sterile appearance of the place. And she still feels keenly aware of the fact that she is a glorified prisoner.

The sudden lack of natural day and night cycles, after getting used to them on Kashyyyk, throws her off. And so Jeyna finds herself tossing and turning, unable to sleep despite it being her second night back on the ship.

She wonders what Ren is doing. He must be busy, she reasons. Or he simply does not want to see her. He had been so standoffish as they left Kashyyyk, barely wasting a look in her direction. It was a stark contrast to the last night they had been on the planet, when his arm had curled around her back, his hand resting on her hip.

Had he felt the way she relaxed at his touch, sensed her wanting more? Had her reaction to the closeness of his body driven him off?

She buries her face in her pillow, groaning. She needed to be rational, to see the situation for what it was. Ren was using her to get what he needed. Her hormonal feelings did not need to factor in.

Jeyna was surprised to hear the knock at her door, at such a late hour. She freezes for a moment before jumping up, struggling to find her pants and shirt as the lights brighten slightly in the space.

“Just a minute!” she calls as she tugs the pants over her ankles. The last thing she needs is Hux bursting in on her partially dressed.

When she’s decent, she approaches the door to let it slide open. For a moment, she is both surprised and relieved to see that it is Ren instead of Hux. But then she realizes his mask is back on, apparently having been repaired. She steps back, allowing him to enter the room.

He does, placing himself as far from her as possible in the close quarters. Jeyna’s expecting him to remove the mask once the door slides shut, but he doesn’t. He leaves it, like a barrier between them.

“You listed multiple search sites as equally likely. I need for you to choose one,” he states. She hates what the drone of the helmet does to his natural voice.

“I can’t choose one, that is the point. All had some significance to Revan,” she replies, frowning.

“What does your intuition tell you?” Ren pushes, crossing his arms.

Jeyna considers his question, biting her lip nervously. She had felt something, nagging her, when searching the ground mapping scans done of the moon from space. She’d spotted the remains of a large, old structure underneath a part of the jungle, and noted it as one of the sites on a hunch.

“The buried remains of a structure, the one that turned up on ground scans. I listed it as Site #3,” she says hesitantly. “Revan turned to the Sith at the close of the Mandalorian Wars. I think it’s possible he found something to prompt the change. Something on Dxun.”

“What do you think the structure could be?” Ren asks.

Jeyna shrugs. “Whatever it was, it might hold the secret of why he became a Dark Lord of the Sith. Or at the very least, provide a good hiding place for a map.”

Ren nods once. “Very well. If I need you to unlock the map on site, I’ll send for you to be brought planetside. Otherwise, you will open the holocron when I return with it.”

He makes as if to stride to the door, but Jeyna makes an indignant noise when she realizes he intends to go to Dxun alone. “Wait! You’re not taking me with you?”

The mask stares at her coldly. “No. You will stay here, unless I need you.”

“Why?” She asks, hearing the rejection in her voice and hating it.

“It’s safer for you here.”

She snorts. “Dxun is First Order controlled. What danger does the moon pose to me? It would be much safer than Kashyyyk, and you didn’t hesitate to drag me there!”

“This is not a discussion. You are staying.” Ren’s order sounds aggressive, even with the mask evening out his deep voice.

“But I could help-”

“Help with what? Distracting my men?”

Jeyna’s mouth falls open at the insinuation. Since when had she been a distraction to his men? Realization dawns on her. “I’m fairly certain the only man I’ve distracted is you,” she says venomously.

Ren stares at her. She can feel it, the burn of his gaze. She stares back defiantly at the mask, hating it. She wishes she could tear it off, break it again if she had to, just to be able to see his turbulent eyes with her own.

Without a word, he turns, striding quickly from her room. The door shuts behind him, and a second later the table and chair rattle against the floor. It is a brief shake, reminding Jeyna of a tremor from within the core of a planet. She gulps, sitting onto her bed.

**Hours Later**

Jeyna’s long since given up on sleep, assuming she’ll have plenty of time for that when she’s left to rot on the ship while Ren continues her investigation for her. She ends up researching known terraforming projects in the galaxy, to be able to compare to her observations of Kashyyyk.

She records information on the datapad, no longer caring about keeping it pertinent to what Ren wants to know. Let him wade through her musings to find what he needs.

She’s busy reading an interesting study when the door slides open to her quarters with no warning.

Jeyna flinches, dropping the datapad, as two stormtroopers enter her room. Their blasters are drawn instead of holstered, which is not a good sign.

“Get up. You’re coming with us,” one orders her.

“Where?” she asks stupidly, her mind realizing that there is nowhere good they could possibly be escorting her at this time. It’s the equivalent to very early morning, only a skeleton crew working last shift should be operating on the ship.

They don’t answer her, one striding forward to grab her arm and wrench her off the bed.

“Wait, please-” Her pleas are ignored as she’s jerked out of her room into the abandoned corridor. She’s desperately trying to understand. Had she pushed Ren too far, past his tolerance? Has he found a way around needing her help?

As they drag her to the elevator, she realizes the answer must be yes. These troopers have most likely been sent to dispose of her.

Tears fall from her eyes at the hurt and betrayal she feels, realizing he is doing this to her. She allows her mind to linger in the memory of waking up in his arms. The hurt turns to anger, and she doesn’t want to go quietly. But she doesn’t want to scream for the troopers, no. She wants Ren to hear her.

If he said her thoughts were loud before, they must be deafening now. She has no idea how his power works, but she screams inside her own brain. Jeyna hopes he can hear her from whatever corner he’s in of this damn, ugly ship. She calls him every vile word she can think of, fills her mind with so much rage that she can practically tune out the numbers on the elevator as they sink lower into the bowels of the ship.

How dare he send troopers to do this. If he’s going to kill her, he should at least have the decency to do it himself. Most of all, she curses him for not killing her immediately. He had given her hope, the smallest glimmer of it, that she might be okay.

The troopers drag her out of the elevator, and she sees they’re on one of the last floors of the ship. The floor here is metal scaffolding, the walls an angry red where they aren’t covered in black metal. The lighting is dim, flashing from somewhere distant.

It’s hot, and grows hotter as the troopers march her onward. Hallway after hallway, the temperature climbing as they force her on silently.

At an intersection, they pass a cleaning droid heading the same way as them. Jeyna sees its trash receptacle is full, it can compact no more. She understands suddenly.

They’re marching her towards the incinerator.

“No, please!” Jeyna jerks, ripping away from the troopers’ hold of her arm. The second one immediately raises his blaster on her.

“Fine! Fine, shoot me here!” She concedes, raising her hands. “I’m not getting shoved in there, still alive, to burn!”

The second trooper keeps his blaster on her while the first attempts to capture her arm again. “Come on,” he growls, his grip bruising as he digs the fingers of his black and white gloves into her upper arm.

“No!” She shrieks, struggling. Her mind is filled with horror imagining the death awaiting her, and she sobs, choking.

He backhands her, hard across the face. He doesn’t allow her to fall, yanking her arm and attempting to drag her once more along the corridor. She resists with all her weight, dragging backwards against him and down.

“Move!” he orders. “This is happening, you stupid bitch!”

He moves to hit her again, but is stopped when he is flung against the metal wall, and frozen pinned to it. The second trooper moves his blaster, but joins the first pinned to the side of the hallway. Jeyna allows herself to fall to her knees, dragging air in through shaky breaths, as she stares at them.

She knows it must be Ren, but she doesn’t understand. A moment later, he comes into view next to her. She looks up to him, confused, her vision hazy with tears. He’s fixated on the troopers, the fingers of his hands curled into claws. Had he changed his mind?

She watches as he steps closer to the troopers, jerking his hands. The helmets fly from their heads, revealing two men that look to be older. These are experienced soldiers, and their faces look terrified. Twin looks of panic as they are held, powerless, in position.

“I won’t bother asking who sent you,” Ren says quietly, the helmet buzzing after he speaks with the sound of his heaving breaths.

His hands raise, and Jeyna is shaken by the sounds that come from the two men. Animalistic screams are ripped from them, their eyes bulging in agony. Her mouth falls open in horror, but she can’t tear her gaze away as she realizes Ren is inside their heads. She understands now just how gentle he had been when he’d looked at her memories.

The men’s faces are almost purple, their screams dying into gibberish garbles of pain. As their eyes roll, Ren lets them drop to the floor. Jeyna scoots back on instinct, but they don’t pose a threat any longer. Their eyes are open, but they roll nonsensically. They are alive, and theoretically conscious, but Jeyna can see their minds are far from present.

Ren steps near her, extending a hand. “Come,” he orders.

She takes his hand without thinking, despite having minutes ago believed he had ordered her death. He pulls her to her feet, and begins to walk her away from the fallen troopers.

“Wait,” she hesitates, turning to look at her would-be murderers. “What about them?”

“They’ll be found eventually,” Ren says, unconcerned.

“But will they…recover?” she asks.

His mask tilts as he looks down at her, silence stretching on before he answers. “No.”


	11. Ch. 11

Jeyna barely pays attention to where Ren is walking her, she is so disoriented. She’s still horrified by how close she came to being killed in the worst way she can imagine. Furthermore, the images of the troopers’ blank faces, unseeing eyes swirling in their sockets, are stuck in her mind. She had no idea Ren could do that to someone. It was like he had murdered their souls while leaving the hearts still beating.

She realizes he hasn’t taken her to her room when she sees the door belonging to his quarters slide open. He guides her in, towards the couch in the living area. She sits wordlessly, wrapping her arms protectively around herself.

Ren kneels in front of her, and she watches as he removes the helmet to sit it on the floor. She feels distant as his eyes lock on to survey her, transmitting things she can’t begin to read. She’s too overwhelmed, her brain is trying to check out.

He lifts his hand, moving to touch her cheek the trooper had struck. He hesitates, and she feels the barest ghost of his fingers brushing over the skin.

“They were going to burn me to death,” Jeyna says suddenly, in a matter of fact tone. His hand cups her cheek gently, his long fingers reaching back to rest against the sensitive skin behind her ear. She closes her eyes slowly, allowing a moment to wish the material of his glove wasn’t between their skin.

“I know,” he whispers.

“If it wasn’t you, how did you know?” She opens her eyes after the question leaves her to search his gaze.

“I heard your thoughts,” he says. “You were screaming at me.”

“You could hear them? I didn’t know if it would work.”

“I always hear your thoughts,” he admits, his hand drops from her face as he breaks his stare. She realizes what he’s confessed. For him to always hear her thoughts, he must be focusing on her a great deal. Her heart beats a little faster, but she refuses to think more on it. She can’t take any other conflicting emotions at the moment.

“Was it Hux?” she asks.

“Probably. But he’s smart. A droid delivered the orders to them, the directive came from an anonymous source. I will place a search on the droid, but most likely it’s already been destroyed,” Ren explains. He stands, and begins pacing the room. The movements resemble a caged predator, all drive and no outlet.

Jeyna feels the tears stinging at her eyes again, even as she tries to blink them back. She is stuck on a ship with someone who is trying to kill her. He will likely not stop until he succeeds. And she feels like there is nothing she can do.

“I can’t kill him,” Ren spits out suddenly. Whether he’s speaking to himself or her, Jeyna isn’t sure, as her eyes follow his strides. Back and forth.

“Why not?” she asks timidly. The idea sounds plenty reasonable to her, she thinks, as spiteful hatred for Hux fills her. She prefers the anger over the despondent shock of a few minutes ago.

“The Supreme Leader forbid it,” he says, stopping his pacing to clench his fists before ripping the gloves off, throwing them at a wall at random. His energy seems to be rising, turbulence in the air around him. “I have to fight him another way…”

“He forbid you to kill Hux, even though Hux tried to have you killed on Kashyyyk?” Jeyna repeats, her brow furrowing. “How is that fair?”

Ren’s eyes dig into hers, intensity making them almost feral. “He views it as a challenge for me. It’s his way.”

Jeyna frowns. She doesn’t say what she wants to say. That it sounds like the Supreme Leader is tormenting Ren, making him play an unfair game. And the game might very well get her killed. “Is he coming after me to interfere with you finding the rest of the map? Does he know what it leads to?” She wonders. Why else would Hux be so determined?

Ren shakes his head. “Doubtful. I believe he’s out for my failure, nothing more.”

She sighs, her eyes feeling heavy and sore. Her brain tries to work the problem over, but it’s running slowly from lack of sleep and an overload of emotions.

“You’ll stay here, until I can arrange higher security accommodations for you. It shouldn’t take long,” Ren says, his pacing resuming at a slower rate. “You’ll also have a security detail, around the clock.”

Jeyna nods tiredly, closing her eyes for a moment to pinch the bridge of her nose, rubbing small circles. It doesn’t do much to relieve the dull ache setting into her head, still sore from being struck. 

“You should get some sleep. You seem tired…” Ren suggests. She doesn’t move from her seat, opening her eyes to see he’s paused in front of her. She holds his gaze, feeling the tears stubbornly pooling at her lashes. She has a sudden urge to touch him, to press herself into his chest and fill all of her senses with him.

His eyes flick away, she sees his jaw clench. He turns away from her, breathing in sharply. She wonders if he’s still angry, unable to read his body language.

Suddenly he turns back, pulling her from the couch. She’s in his arms, they wrap around her and pull her tight. She immediately remembers the scent of him from Kashyyyk, and she buries her face into his chest to try to memorize it again. The tears fall suddenly, but it feels like relief. She clings to him, fingers clenching the rough material of his shirt, shocked at how badly her body had been craving this closeness.

Her mind is running in a thousand different directions, but she soothes it with him. The thoughts fall away, leaving her sleepy, but content at his embrace.

She feels him shift, his arm moving down to behind her thighs. He picks her up, similar to how he had on Kashyyyk. When he lays her down, it’s on his bed. Jeyna watches as he unties her boots, pulling them off her feet one at a time. It feels oddly intimate, her breath catching as she watches his features, half obscured by the unruly dark hair that falls over them.

He tucks her in, as she fights sleep to keep looking at him. His dark, honey toned eyes are beautiful, she decides. They show everything he keeps locked off the rest of his face, and she never wants to look away.

He bends down, his lips hover at her ear. “Sleep,” he whispers, and she hears the command echoed in her head. She falls instantly into the peaceful black void.

**Much Later**

Jeyna wakes up, having managed to sleep without nightmares for a long time. Checking the bed, she notices it looks like Ren never joined her. She wonders where he slept, or if he had slept. 

She slides her boots back on, making his bed. Then, she emerges from the sleeping quarters, hoping to find him in the living space. But instead, she’s met by a stranger.

The blonde man is sitting on the couch until he spots her. His face can only be described as rough, with a fresh-looking scar marring one eye, discoloring it. An older scar trails from the corner of his mouth across his jaw. He rises, giving her a small smile.

“Miss Torre? Don’t be alarmed. I’m Aleck, your new security detail,” he introduces himself.

“Where’s Ren?” she asks, fumbling sleepily at the unexpected interaction.

“He’s been gone for a few hours. I’m to show you to your new living area,” he explains. He has a slow, careful way of speaking. “Might you be hungry? We could stop for lunch first.”

“Alright…” she agrees, dragging her fingers through her mussed hair in an attempt to look less rumpled.

They walk without speaking to the dining area, and Jeyna pretends to not notice the silence that falls over the large space while she gathers her food. She sits, the corner table she prefers has been left empty. Whether it was intentional or coincidence, she doesn’t care. Aleck has also taken food, and she finds herself grateful to not be eating alone. Eventually a quiet murmur fills the room again, though nowhere near the raucous it had been before her entrance. She’s reminded of her first time coming to the hall, and it makes her tense.

She surveys Aleck while they eat, noticing the way his eyes move. He looks calm, but his eyes have a way of constantly searching. She takes in his clothes, unable to place them as any occupation she’s seen so far on the ship.

“What are you?” she asks, unable to help her curiosity. “I mean, you don’t look like a trooper or officer…”

Aleck looks amused, smiling at her slightly. “No. I am…well, I was an operative for the First Order.”

“An operative?” she echoes, confused.

“Yes. I was trained to infiltrate and handle threats,” he replies. “But that is no longer my purpose.”

Jeyna can’t help but interpet ‘infiltrate and handle threats’ to mean the man was an assassin. She chews her lip, wondering if he resents the job he’s been given with her. “No longer your purpose, because you’ve been assigned to me, you mean?” she clarifies.

“Correct,” he confirms with an incline of his head. “Quite a lucky reassignment, I might add.”

When he sees the confusion intensify on her face, he smiles again, but it seems almost like a wry twisting of his mouth as opposed to a genuine grin. “I was a spy, you see. But my cover with the Resistance was blown. I was no longer a useful operative. Usually in my field, that means retirement.”

“Retirement?” Jeyna repeats, not liking the way he says it.

His eyes rove the tables restlessly. “Yes. But Commander Ren spared me. I’m grateful for the second chance.”

She understands suddenly. The First Order kills their operatives who can no longer serve in the field. It upsets her, how people can be treated so disposably. She abandons the hopes of finishing her meal, but she had probably taken too much food for that to be done anyway. Dropping her fork, she lets herself finally look further into the room. She can see the faces staring at her.

Aleck seems to sense her discomfort. “Don’t worry about them. Not many of them will be brave enough to follow an order regarding you.”

Jeyna disagrees with a frown. “The two that tried to kill me last night were fairly brave.”

“Yes. But now the others have seen their former associates, lying broken in the medlab. They know what becomes of a man that comes after you,” he says. His words make Jeyna realize Ren had chosen not to kill the troopers, in favor of making them living examples to the rest. It makes her sick to her stomach, remembering the noises they made as their minds shattered.

“Can we go now? I don’t feel well,” she asks in a rush, standing.

“Of course, Miss Torre.” Aleck agrees, gesturing for her to lead the way. She wants to correct him, tell him to call her Jeyna. But she is unwilling to speak again as they navigate through the crowd of lunch time diners.

It’s only when they reach the elevator that she feels she can breathe properly again. Aleck stops them on a different floor than usual for her, leading her down a narrow, immaculately polished hallway. They stop outside a door with a scanner on the outside.

“This door will only unlock for yourself or the Commander,” Aleck explains. “Place your palm on the screen.”

Jeyna obeys, setting her hand on the lock and watching it process. It is similar to the scan they did when she arrived on the ship, searching her prints to confirm her identity. The door unlocks, and she sees the new space is a similar layout to Ren’s quarters. It is much more spacious than anything she’s used to living in, even before the First Order took her.

She hesitates inside the door, taken aback, but Aleck joins her. As the door slides shut, he gestures to the wall mounted comm device.

“Use this to contact me should you want to leave your quarters after hours. I’m stationed directly across the hall, and I am on call at all times. Do not hesitate,” he insists. “You can also use it to order meals, a serving droid will deliver. Again, if it is after hours please notify me before opening the door, even for a droid.”

Jeyna nods. “You mean I could’ve avoided lunch with all of them today?” she attempts to joke, but must admit she would’ve preferred it.

Aleck gives her a reassuring look. “Yes, but I felt it was important to show yourself.”

“Oh.” she looks away, noting her datapad has been brought to the new quarters. It’s sitting on the table by the couch, and she is comforted by that small device. She would be exceedingly bored without it, confined to her quarters with only Aleck as a companion. “I suppose it will just be us while Ren is on Dxun,” she says, with a bit of rue.

“I believe he has changed his mind. I was told to prepare to accompany you on the mission,” Aleck corrects her.

Jeyna blinks in surprise, before allowing herself a small, victorious smile. At the very least, she’d be allowed to continue her own work. And that was something.


	12. Ch. 12

They leave for Dxun late the next day, scheduled to arrive shortly before nightfall. Jeyna has already adjusted somewhat to Aleck’s near constant presence. He has a calm energy, and a way of fading into the background so she hardly notices him while she’s working.

She attempts to make conversation with him during the flight to the jungle moon, since they are alone in the main hold. Ren had immediately stalked into the cockpit for the flight, and the troopers were already on site to set up a base camp.

Aleck seems willing to humor her questions, so she indulges her curiosity. She asks about his training, and his home planet, before getting to what she’s truly been wondering about.

“What was the Resistance like?” Jeyna asks.

Aleck considers the question. “Idealistic…Stubborn,” he answers. “A scattered mess, what is left of them.”

“What was your mission with them? Before your cover was blown?”

“I probably shouldn’t say much.” His eyes dart towards the cockpit. “But I was intended to get close to their leadership.”

Jeyna nods, intrigued but not wanting to push it. Aleck seems to consider her for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m surprised they haven’t approached you yet.”

She frowns, taken aback by his statement. “What would they want with me?”

Aleck’s careful eyes linger on hers, one hazel, one a pale, damaged gray. “You’ve worked closely with Commander Ren. You would be a valuable source of intel. Doubtless they’re curious about the goal of his latest actions.”

“I suppose…but how would they even approach me? The only time I’ve been away from the Finalizer was on Kashyyyk,” Jeyna says uncertainly.

He smiles that slow, small smile she is already becoming familiar with. “The First Order is filled with moles. You would find them in the most surprising of places.”

She wonders if this has become an interrogation of sorts. Is he suspicious of her? Does he think she’s lying? “Ren’s always reading my mind,” she points out. “He’d know if someone approached me, and they’d be outed.”

“If that is true, it would seem he’s developed a very close tie to your mind,” Aleck concedes, his eyes resuming their tireless roving of the empty hold. “Perhaps that is why they haven’t tried.”

Jeyna feels the ship drop out of hyperspace, and begin its descent towards the moon. She doesn’t know what to make of her discussion with Aleck, dropping it. She also doesn’t know what she would do if the Resistance did come to her now. To help them would mean betraying Ren, which she was sure wouldn’t end well. But could it mean freedom from the First Order? Would they let her go, if she gave them something valuable?

She’s uncomfortable thinking about it, knowing Ren’s spying habits of her mind. She tries to stop, preoccupying her thoughts with theories about the structure they will be investigating instead.

When they set down, the boarding hatch opens and the ramp descends down into mud. It’s raining, which is unsurprising. Dxun is usually wracked with week long rainstorms, but Jeyna doesn’t mind. They haven’t lost most of their supplies in a crash landing and fire this time, and instead have the appropriate rain gear. Dxun is also warm, the air foggy with humidity. She doubts they’ll have the problem of cold nights here like they had on Kashyyyk.

She stands on the ramp, surveying the site that has been set up. Aleck has already disembarked to survey the new location, and though she can’t see him, she’s sure he is nearby.

Camp is ahead of the landing spot, a clustering of temporary buildings and tents. The perimeter is marked by electromagnetic force fields, most likely intended to keep the large predators of the jungle out. She can see the trooper patrols pacing these borders, blasters on hand.

On the far side of camp, her eyes spot the sight of unusual earthen mounds. There is large excavation equipment blocking any further view of the structure from her vantage point.

Ren appears, pausing beside her. “The lead engineer assured me they’ll be done digging out the entrance by morning,” he states, voice deep beneath the helmet.

Jeyna glances at his tall form curiously. “Why did you change your mind about my coming?”

Ren doesn’t answer immediately, letting the noise of rain falling surround them for a moment. “I understood I’d be more distracted leaving you on the Finalizer, than bringing you with me.”

Her heart feels lighter at hearing his admission. Almost as if he can feel her lift in mood, he huffs through his mask. “Be good, Jeyna.” He stalks down the ramp, leaving her to ponder the meaning of his order.

**Nightfall on Dxun**

Jeyna’s sleeping area consists of a small cot, trunk for supplies, and a lantern. She, Ren, and Aleck have a small structure to themselves, with semi private rooms. The nearby makeshift refresher allows her to get a quick shower, but the water is frigid.

Their quarters are separate from the larger barracks the storm troopers are staying in, to her relief. She distrusts anyone with the white soldier uniform, whether it is a fair grudge to hold or not.

She had been able to observe the excavation proceeding from a distance before the light failed her, but even now she can hear it. The workers are digging earth from the buried building, trying to make passages usable again. The machinery makes a droning noise as progress carries on into the dark. It is enough noise that she struggles to fall asleep, moving restlessly under the thin blanket instead.

Her bored mind refuses to rest just yet, instead travelling to thoughts she knows she should resist. But part of her can’t help but to remember Ren embracing her, his body firm and warm and so large compared to hers.

Her cheeks grow hot as she thinks what it would be like to touch him freely. To explore him, with her hands and her mouth. It’s a bold line of thinking, and its foreign to her. She’s been with a man once before, but it feels like an empty memory now in contrast to the heat that surges through her as she fantasizes about Ren.

Its tinged with embarrassment. She doesn’t understand what it is about him that brings her to this place, where all she can think of is being closer to him. Getting access to more of him. She longs to sink her fingers into his dark hair, to nuzzle her face under his jaw and bite at the freckles of his neck.

Jeyna fists her hands in the blanket in frustration.

She’s always prided herself on being a logical, sensible person. She’s never been one to get carried away by such base desires. And here she is, getting lost in lust in a very inappropriate way.

She rolls over, trying to get more comfortable. The night is still humid on Dxun, and she feels feverish. She kicks the blanket down to her feet.

She imagines Ren’s large, pale hands running over her body. The shiver that races through her has nothing to do with cold. She can practically see his hands on her flesh, can imagine his lips drifting from hers, lower, lower…

Jeyna attempts to stop herself for the second time. The heat is building in her, and she won’t allow herself to lose her composure any further. She focuses on the sounds of Dxun, the unearthing of the ancient structure still carrying on, the machines droning, the distant shouts of workers trying to be heard over the din.

She reviews what she already knows about the moon, going over it like a chant in her brain. Until finally, she bores herself enough that sleep can crawl in and claim her.

**Morning**

Ren seems to be in a terrible mood the next morning, and so she gives him space. Instead she watches as the few technicians in the camp attempt to repair parts of the forcefield. It looks like something large has been battering the equipment that supports the field, and she spots hands being flung into the air in frustration more than once.

“Boma beasts,” Aleck observes from nearby. “The predators here are unusually aggressive.”

“I’ve read a study about that, yes,” Jeyna agrees.

“I suppose you’ve read a study about most things,” Aleck replies, the gentle teasing apparent in his voice. She can’t help but smile at him. He is likeable, and she enjoys having someone to talk to. She can imagine him with the Rebels, his easygoing presence giving them a false sense of security. She wonders how his true identity was revealed, ruining his work.

“I dislike the feeling of not understanding something,” she admits.

“The galaxy is large. I fear you’ll never run out of things to need to understand,” he muses.

She realizes that is the point of her pursuits. As long as there is another question to answer, she will never need to settle. And if she doesn’t need to settle, she won’t notice the lack of a place to settle. She won’t notice that she is alone. She can pursue her questions and their answers for years, occupy her lifetime with the drive for knowledge. Jeyna doesn’t bring herself to say this aloud, especially as she sees Ren appear nearby.

His foul mood seems to have not improved. “They’ve cleared the entrance. Come with me,” he orders, sweeping past without pause.

Jeyna jumps up, followed by Aleck, to follow the temperamental commander.

**At the Entrance of the Ruins**

The excavation equipment has been moved off to the side, the mouth of the earthen tunnel sits open and yawning at them. It’s dark inside, and Jeyna gratefully accepts the lantern Aleck hands her.

“How far in have the scouts searched?” Ren interrogates the lead engineer.

“They went as far as the stairs inside, Commander,” the man explains, his voice sounding regretful. “They were scared to go farther. They say it is haunted.”

Jeyna can see the scouts, their lanterns strapped to helmets on their head. They are huddled together by the heavy machinery, darting terrified glances over at their boss and Ren. They’re filthy, likely from working through the night to clear the path.

“Cowards,” Ren spits the word, but seems content nonetheless to leave them be. “Leave the comm channel open.”

“Of course, Commander.”

Ren dismisses him with a wave of his hand before approaching the opening of the site. Jeyna follows, feeling Aleck trail behind her. But her excitement at the impending find is suddenly dampened when she feels it.

The closer she gets to the ruins, the worse she feels. There is energy in the air, and the only thing she can compare it to is the crackling of tension that surrounds Ren when his anger is surging. The static tingles her nerve endings, like sparks dancing over her skin. She feels the roots of her hair tense, as goosebumps cover her flesh. Her body is on alert to an extreme degree.

Ren’s stopped ahead of her, just inside the opening to the tunnel. His mask turns towards her. “You feel it?”

“Yes,” she gasps, before collecting herself to sound calmer. “What is it?”

“The dark side,” he says.

Her eyes widen in alarmed understanding. Her theory must have been correct. Dxun is where Revan turned to the dark side. She imagines him here, standing in her place. Feeling the surge of it wash over him. What would it feel like to a force sensitive person like Revan, like Ren? If Jeyna could feel it so strongly, surely it must be as irresistible as gravity to someone like them.

“Keep close to her, Aleck,” Ren orders before striding forward.

“Of course, Commander.” Aleck replies, ushering Jeyna to follow the sweeping black cloak of their leader.

She does, her footsteps muffled by the dirty floor of the tunnel. As they get farther in, she sees the shape of walls form, then a clearly distinguished ceiling. The floor becomes less dirty, dark stone appearing underfoot through the dust.

They are in a hallway, broad and endless. She doesn’t think she’s imagining Ren’s pace is picking up. He is practically racing forward. Is he that drawn to the dark side of the force? Can’t he feel how wrong it is, how oppressive the space feels as they go further?

Jeyna’s dragging in ragged breaths as she follows him, switching on her lantern when she sees Aleck turn his on. Ren pauses at the sight of glowing red eyes ahead of them. The eyes blink, and are gone.

A moment later, Ren reaches the place where the eyes had been, it is an intersection. Jeyna and Aleck join him a moment later. To their left and right, tunnels lead off into the dark. Jeyna can make out the walls of dirt, it looks like they’ve collapsed years or even centuries ago. There is no sign of the creature with the red eyes.

Ahead of them, massive stone steps lead downwards. Jeyna gulps as Ren starts down them, following him obediently. She tries to reassure herself. Whatever things have infested the ruins, Ren will be capable of handling them.

But the energy is pulling at her, she can feel it even more now. It’s tugging at her senses, insistent. It feels…ravenous.

Jeyna tells herself it is her imagination, a lie that fails to comfort.

She has to descend the stairs carefully, each stone step dropping down a great distance to the next. Their lights bounce off the walls, and she can make out what looks like sconces far up, near the sloping ceiling. Was this place once kept lit? What purpose did it serve? A center of worship, perhaps? A temple built for the dark side?

Jeyna realizes, with a feeling of unease settling into the pit of her stomach, that she might know what they are walking into.

They reach the bottom, and emerge into a large hall. There is a massive statue standing, on guard, and Ren approaches it. It towers above them, its face impossible to see with the meager light their lanterns cast.

But Jeyna can make out the spikes that jolt upwards from its torso, surrounding it in a violent looking halo. The statue’s torso is covered in armor, robes sweeping the floor where its feet are fixed. The wall behind it has writing carved on it, each stroke dug deep into the stone.

She approaches, hoisting her lantern as high as she can to make out the markings. They are in an ancient alphabet, but it is similar enough to modern day characters of Iziz and Onderon.

“Freedon Nadd,” she says, confirming her suspicions. “We’re in the tomb of Freedon Nadd.”

Aleck is silent, so much so that Jeyna glances in alarm before realizing he is right beside her. Ren is still staring at the statue, but he acknowledges her.

“I didn’t know the former King of Onderon was laid to rest on Dxun,” Ren states.

“I didn’t either,” Jeyna admits. “But it makes sense. The Jedi were known to have intervened in the politics of Iziz. They most likely moved his tomb here, to keep it from influencing the royal court.” She doesn't add that Nadd was a known dark force user, assuming Ren understands her implication. The Jedi would have preferred any opposing influences to be far from the planet of Onderon. 

Ren turns slowly, taking in the rest of the hall. Jeyna follows suit, and they both seem to see the problem at the same time. Their only path forward, a massive doorway marked by two large, black carved pillars, is filled with earth. Hunks of rock and boulder, what appears to be part of the ceiling, are collapsed in amongst the earth.

Ren’s voice sounds angry and impatient through the mask. “That will need to be blasted out, and the way through reinforced. They would know that, if they’d had the spine to come this far.”

Jeyna feels a strange urge to defend the men. She can’t blame them for being scared, if they feel what she feels in this place. But she doesn’t speak, afraid of testing Ren when he’s furious.

**Later**

The men have been put back to work, forced down into the ruins by the option of doing as they were told, or death. They unsurprisingly all chose to follow orders, the flaring up of Ren’s lightsaber an unnecessary encouragement.

Jeyna has avoided Ren for the later part of the day, as he’s sequestered himself into the ship’s communication room before retreating to his quarters. She wonders what he was doing in there. Was he talking to the Supreme Leader? Informing him of the tomb and its long-deceased occupant?

Aleck has offered to teach her Pazaak, and she attempts to learn the rules. Occasionally the rumble of sonic charges going off underground shakes the rickety table they play at.

“I don’t think I’m very good at this,” Jeyna sighs, after losing another round.

“You display everything on your face,” Aleck chides. “You need to be better at hiding your thoughts.”

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” She tosses her cards down in frustration. The rules are simple enough, why can’t she get the hang of the game?

“You think intensely on the task at hand. It is admirable, but for something like this, you must be sly,” he explains. “Let your true intentions lie in your heart. You do not have to cling to them in your mind for them to exist. Calm yourself, enjoy the game. Let your thoughts run to mundane things.”

Jeyna frowns. “That sounds too easy.”

“For someone like you, passionate as you are, it will probably be a challenge,” he retorts. He smiles that small grin of his. “I mean that as a compliment, of course.”

“Of course,” she repeated, smiling in return. “But you’ll understand if I give up on the game, for the time being.”

He nods, collecting the cards back into a neat deck. A rumble of thunder echoes overhead, and Jeyna glances up. The clouds are building quickly, dark and swirling against a sickly green sky. She realizes they will quickly be rained on.

“I think I’m calling it a night,” she sighs, heading towards their temporary dormitory. Aleck follows, and they barely make it into the door before the downpour starts. It is deafeningly loud, pelting off everything in its path.

Jeyna shuts herself in her small compartment, hearing the rain on the thin roof above her. She relaxes on the cot, attempting to let herself doze.

Like a bad habit forming, her mind runs to Kylo Ren. Why had he been in such a terrible mood?

His anger unsteadies her. It is such a harsh opposite to the other side of him she’s seen. The part of him that had comforted her after she was nearly killed, tucking her into his bed to sleep. It’s an unhealthy dichotomy, but one she finds oddly addictive.

Jeyna lets her mind carry itself away, thinking of him. The familiar warmth rushes back into her skin as the thoughts turn dirty, arousal making itself known between her thighs. She longs to touch herself, to relieve some of the energy that’s been building. It’s not something she does often, and that makes her uncertain as her hand drifts lower over her own abdomen.

She shouldn’t be doing this, she thinks. What if Ren is listening to her thoughts? The thrill that shoots through her is stopped, cold, by his voice inside her mind.

**_Come to me._ **

Her eyes snap open at the order, realizing she’s been caught. She should have expected, knowing full well he paid careful attention to her thoughts. She had been carried away, not thinking rationally. Panicking, Jeyna doesn’t move from her cot.

**_Now._ **

She isn’t imagining the anger in his voice, somehow she feels it as well as hears it when he speaks directly to her mind. She jerks the blanket back, hesitantly rising from the bed. She looks down at herself, the thin white undershirt and panties. It occurs to her to dress, but defiantly she remembers the way his eyes had fixated on her when she had been in a similar state of undress before. She leaves her small space as she is, and steps quietly through the narrow corridor to his room.

Jeyna opens the door, heart pounding with anxiety. She steps into his territory hesitantly, searching the dark. She doesn’t see him, but she feels him as he catches her around the waist with one arm. He pulls her back, until she collides with his body.

One of his hands roughly pulls her hair from her neck, grabbing the strands and forcing her head to tilt to the side. His breath lands on the exposed skin as his face nuzzles against her neck, his nose tracing a slow line down to the crook of her shoulder.

“Why are you doing this to me?” he asks, his voice accusatory and frustrated. The sound of it sends a shock of pleasure through her already aroused core, and she bites her lip, unable to answer him. He growls, the sound is animalistic. She gasps as he bites her neck, hard, before his tongue and lips cover the spot.

“I told you to be good,” he says, unsteady. His hand flattens on her lower stomach, pushing her back against him harder.

Jeyna’s mind is spinning with lust and confusion. His anger throws her off balance, even as she realizes he must desire her too. “Kylo…?” she dares to whisper his first name, but it comes out like a question.

“You fill my head with these thoughts.” His hand trails up, higher and higher. He wraps it around her throat, and she is strangely thrilled by the sensation. It covers her neck completely, but he doesn’t squeeze hard enough to choke her. It makes her feel helpless, vulnerable, and her body responds with excitement. She is wet, she can feel it as her core throbs with need again.

A choked noise, like a repressed moan, tears from Ren’s chest, and suddenly she can feel the foreign presence in her mind. It’s not nearly as intrusive as when he’d read her memories, but she is still aware of it lingering there. In her aroused state, she finds herself welcoming it. Let him feel what she feels, the way he’s created an intense need in her body she’s never felt before. Let him understand, she thinks, and maybe he won’t be angry with her.

He moves her suddenly, turning her and practically flinging her onto his bed. She crawls back a bit as he joins her, and Jeyna finally sees him. She can barely make out his face, but his eyes are feral, glinting in the low light.

She reaches for him, wanting to touch him, to pull him onto her. He doesn’t like that.

Ren grabs her wrists, and roughly slams them into the blanket above her head. “Don’t move your hands,” he orders. Her mouth falls open slightly at the command, but she nods. She breathes, shaking, as he lets his eyes run down her body, slowly, before they trail back up to her face.

He plants one knee between her thighs, as he reaches up to trace his fingers over her face, his eyes burning into hers. She licks her lips nervously, and his eyes flick to them. He pauses, then runs his thumb over her moist lower lip. She kisses it, then dares to take it into her mouth. She runs her tongue over his skin, tasting him, before sucking gently.

His lower lip falls, his eyes are black and raging. She wants more, she wants to taste all of him. Her own mind turns into nothing but hunger even as she can feel his presence still lingering at the outskirts of her thoughts.

Ren descends on her, his mouth catching hers. His kisses are demanding, messy, and she is just as wild. She kisses back fervently, parting her lips for him and letting his tongue clash with hers. She moans at the feeling of his mouth claiming her, her hips bucking up on their own against his knee.

He pulls back, letting his lips run over hers more gently before he deepens the kiss again. Jeyna almost moves her hands, wanting to hold onto him, to grab his hair or stroke his face. She wants to touch him, badly, but her desire to obey him is even stronger. She tangles her hands together into the sheets, trying to anchor them in place.

There is a sound, like sizzling electricity surging louder and louder through the air. It takes Jeyna a moment to realize it is coming from outside her and Ren, that something could even exist apart from them. He realizes it at the same time, tearing from her mouth and sitting back, looking dazed.

There is the noise of something exploding, and then shouting from outside fills the air. It sounds like chaos is breaking loose in the camp. Jeyna frowns, still panting to catch her breath, and hears Ren swear. She looks at him questioningly.

“Zakkeg,” he says by way of explanation, standing suddenly. He hesitates, his eyes roving over her body slowly before landing on her own. He tears his gaze away with a growl. She watches him shove his boots on, and his hand extends. The lightsaber flies into his grip from where it had rested on the trunk by the door. He storms from the room without looking at her again.

Jeyna stares after him, heart pounding. The thrill of knowing he desires her too is dampened by her intuition, which flares up as soon as the arousal dies down enough to hear it. It whispers her a warning: This is dangerous. Kylo Ren’s desire is dangerous.


	13. Ch. 13

The sound of men screaming grows louder from outside, as well as blaster fire. Jeyna emerges from Ren’s room, alarmed and uncertain what she should do. Aleck is waiting in the little hallway, outside her open door. If he is surprised to see her come from the commander’s quarters, he doesn’t show it.

“What’s going on?” she asks, flinching a little when she realizes she still hasn’t put on proper clothing.

He keeps his gaze respectfully on her face. “A creature has broken through the forcefield and is rampaging through camp.”

Jeyna shifts awkwardly, attempting to cover herself with her arms. “Shouldn’t we do something?”

“It’s best for you to stay in here, doubtless they’ll be handling it as we speak,” he reassures.

“Is it a zakkeg?” she ventures, curious.

“I’m not sure. If that is what Commander Ren said, then it seems likely,” Aleck answers before taking a step closer, his eyes focusing on hers intently. “You have to be careful with cornered animals. They tend to react unpredictably.”

Jeyna searches his face, confused at the cryptic way he has spoken. She nods, retreating from him into her room.

Has she backed Ren into a corner? She feels certain it’s been the other way around. He’s given her no choices in helping him. If anyone should feel cornered, its her.

And yet his words from a few minutes before come back to her, their meaning just now registering. _Why are you doing this to me. You fill my head with these thoughts._

What if he is trying to fight it? What if this is not what he wants?

She decides, then, for both of their sakes…she needs to control her thoughts better. It’s a ridiculous notion, that she will have to police her own brain. But clearly he can’t keep himself in his own head, so she will have to handle it for them both. She needs to focus on the job, and to resist the pull she feels towards Ren. She already feels more in control, the logic of her choice appealing to her.

The noises from outside have long since died down, and she supposes the zakkeg has been killed. She lays in the dark, her mind empty. Sleep evades her for a long while, but when it does come, the nightmares return with it.

**The Next Day**

They return to the tomb early the next day, moving quickly through camp as a light drizzle falls. They pass technicians who are desperately trying to repair barriers the jungle keeps ripping down. Jeyna can see some of the damage the previous night’s zakkeg attack wrought, to the trooper barracks and supply crates.

Ren leads them in an impatient march as they retrace their prior steps to the opening of the ruins. The same energy is in the air as they head into the tomb, making it feel thick and ominous as it licks at the nerves in Jeyna’s skin. If this is what the dark side feels like, she doesn’t like it.

Ren hasn’t spoken to her more than necessary, hiding behind his mask and completely ignoring whatever had occurred between them the night before. She returns the favor, attempting to force a more professional feeling towards him. They pass through the hall they had reached the day before, but this time the path forward is cleared. It’s been reinforced with durasteel bracings, and the trio follow it as it slopes downwards into the earth.

The path seems endless, the tunnel curving and continuing multiple times. After what feels like the fourth or fifth change in direction, they reach a large, open chamber.

It’s lined with holocrons. But unlike those found on Kashyyyk and Dantooine, these don’t resemble the one Jeyna remembers from her childhood. They have three sides, instead of four, and are made of a metal that resembles gold. Each one emits a strange, glowing light.

“Sith holocrons. They probably belonged to Freedon Nadd,” she says quietly. The thought of opening one of them unnerves her, as she hopes Ren isn’t distracted from their main mission. He surveys the rows of devices, his mask sweeping the room, before speaking.

“Once we’ve cleared the ruins, the workers will remove them,” he says. “They’ll be sent to the Supreme Leader.”

Jeyna is relieved she won’t need to be around when they are opened. The sight of them gives her a creeping sensation along her spine. They seem to be buzzing, vibrating. But instead of the intriguing energy she had felt as a child touching the first holocron she’d ever seen, the energy from these holocrons feels like a warning. They are toxic, and she has to fight the urge to physically recoil from them as she passes them, following Ren.

Their path continues, digging even deeper underground. The air grows cold, and Jeyna wonders just how far down they have traversed. It’s when they reach the end of the last tunnel that the breeze brushes Jeyna’s face, fluttering her hair back. It’s a musty wind, smelling damp and stale.

She follows Ren and Aleck, stepping out into what is an enormous underground cave. It is large enough to park a cargo ship in, and the wind releases occasional, distant howls and shrieks as it moves through the space.

There are a few openings in the arching rock bed over their heads, just enough to send mere peaks of light down to the ground. But it allows her to process the sheer size of the area they’ve entered. She can’t see the ends of the cavern, but she can make out red eyes in the distance, flickering and fading fast enough for her to doubt if she’d really spotted them.

The structure in the middle of the cave is the most impressive part of the space. Ren is already starting towards it, and she can see why as his light helps to illuminate more detail.

It’s a pyramid, of sorts, built up out of the natural bed of the cave. Jeyna follows Ren, Aleck close on her heels, stepping over the trickling streams of water that cross the floor and around the large stalagmites. There are hunks of stone cut into steps, leading up the side of the ancient structure. Jeyna begins climbing, and as she nears the top can see it is a flattened surface.

She hesitates on the last few steps, noting what the structure holds at its crest. The familiar looking holocron is there, as well as an old computer terminal.

Her guess had been correct, Revan had chosen this place to hide the next piece of the map. But the thrill of success eludes her, overshadowed by the bad feeling creeping up her neck. Her eyes flit past the holocron, to a stone sarcophagus mounted on a slab of black rock. Her gaze turns wary, focused on the final resting place of Freedon Nadd.

Ren’s approached the computer terminal, acutely focused on his goal. But the terminal refuses to boot up despite whatever he is trying. She catches sight out of the corner of her eye as he turns from it in frustration.

Jeyna is still staring at the sarcophagus when a rumble comes from inside of it. She staggers backwards in alarm, blind to where the edge of the pyramid is until Aleck catches her arm, jerking her away from the edge she had nearly tumbled off.

Ren’s already whirled to face the stone casket, his lightsaber ignited in hand. The red glares off the metal that lines the eyes of his mask, the broken kyber crystal hissing into the massive chamber.

She flinches as a second rumble jerks the sarcophagus, causing it to jump a few inches across the stone slab. Jeyna watches in horror as the top of the coffin slides, inch by grating inch. Her eyes are blown wide at the thought that the dark force user inside is somehow still alive, waiting in his death bed, even as she knows it is impossible.

Ren drops his lightsaber without warning, collapsing suddenly to the ground, his head in his hands. Jeyna barely has time to register a shout of alarm from Aleck behind her before she hears it.

The sound of the bombs falling.

“Jeyna! JEYNA!” She falls to her knees at the unexpected sound of her mother’s voice, wincing her eyes tight. “Get down, Jeyna!”

The explosion rocks her, even as she scrapes her fingernails into the ground beneath her, trying to anchor herself to the real world. She clenches her eyes closed, her breath coming in jagged gasps as the flashback plays itself out. The smoke burns her nostrils, curls inside her throat. She can’t breathe.

She’s coughing, choking, her face feels the heat of flames not far from her. When she opens her eyes again, she can see her mother. She’s pinned. She’s hurt. Fear and helplessness war in Jeyna at the sight.

The sob of pain tears itself free as she’s confronted by the memories she pushes away every day. What is this? This isn’t real, she realizes. She curls into herself, recognizing the cold stone beneath her body. She’s still physically in the tomb, this is all in her mind. How is this happening?

As soon as the thought occurs to her, the memory dies. When she opens her eyes again, she is in the interrogation room. Hux stands before her, immaculately dressed, face tinged by stress. But no, that’s not right. She had never seen Hux in the torture room.

It doesn’t matter. He activates the device strapped to her temples, and the electricity jerks through her body. The restraints pull taut as her muscles jerk of their own accord, her jaw clamping tight enough that if the pain weren’t so intense she’d be worried about shattering her own teeth.

But is the pain intense? It feels odd. She can remember the pain. But even as she knows it should be agonizing, it doesn’t hurt now, does it?

Hux turns it off, and she hears him laughing. She raises her head to meet his gaze.

“I’m the one who kept the torture going for a week. I was supposed to bring in Ren when a prisoner failed to break new information. But I didn’t care how much you suffered. I wanted to be the one to get what the Supreme Leader needed,” Hux confesses, his lips twisting in manic glee.

Jeyna’s hands are free, she realizes. No longer confined to the metal board, she feels the dagger in her hand. Where had the dagger come from?

Hux steps closer. “I would have killed you a dozen different ways,” he says, laughing. “But Snoke wanted what was in your head. You. A nobody. The last of your name.”

Jeyna feels the anger surge in her chest, the familiar hatred for Hux, whose tried twice now to kill her. She knows Ren won’t do it, but can’t she? What is stopping her? He’s right in front of her, the knife is in her hand.

She feels powerful. It’s a sensation she’s never experienced before, it rises in her hand that holds the weapon, spreads up her arm and into her chest. It’s steady, a current that runs inside her veins, circulating her body until she is encompassed by it.

“When Ren tires of using you for a plaything, when there is nothing more he needs of you, I’ll be there,” the redheaded officer’s voice is grating her nerves. She doesn’t want to hear him anymore. “I’ll be the only one there, you pathetic orphan. I’ll end it.”

The power is surging, and it feels amazing. She doesn’t want it to stop. It doesn’t matter what he says, as long as this feeling stays with her.

“You’ll like the incinerator. It will remind you of how your mother died.” Hux’s voice is a whisper, but it is enough to tip something inside her off balance.

She drives the knife into his chest, without thinking. It goes in easily, like his body isn’t even there.

Jeyna’s mind catches up with her. This isn’t real. Hux isn’t here. She’s in the tomb.

He fades, the knife with him. The feeling vanishes, leaving her veins aching and empty. The power is gone, she shakes at its absence.

The room falls away like a wisp of smoke. There is only the sarcophagus in front of her. The lid grates open, the gray, armored hand emerging to shove it back. It clatters down, shattering into two large pieces. Where is Ren? She darts her eyes around, but he is nowhere to be seen.

“He’s left you. You are alone, you know this.” The cruel voice comes from the thing appearing in front of her.

She closes her eyes to the sight of Freedon Nadd, dragging his corpse from its coffin. She wants to tell herself it isn’t real, but her senses tell her otherwise. She can feel the energy in the air, the pressure on her skull, the almost painful slamming of her heart against her rib cage. The fear has returned in the absence of the strange power that had made her drive a knife into the mirage of Hux.

His voice draws closer as he approaches her, but she refuses to look. “He lied. To protect you from his master. Your blood is not average. Diluted by time, yes. But you can sense the force, can’t you?”

Jeyna’s confused what he is speaking about, until her eyes open in surprise at the prick of pain in her fingertip. She looks down to see the red dot of blood appear on her skin, beading up before it trickles a crimson trail, dropping off to splash onto the dirty stone beneath her.

She looks up, and she wishes she didn’t. He is tall, formidable. He is cloaked entirely in armor, spikes rising from his shoulders to well above his head. The bones of his face are strong, but the tissue around them has collapsed and shrunken. He looks like a skeleton, gray skin stretched over the gaps. And his eyes…they are the yellow of sickness.

He gives her a scathing look where she lays, kneeling at his feet. “If you can feel the force, you cannot escape from it. I won’t let you. You belong to my tomb now.”

Jeyna grits her teeth, tears her eyes away from the very real looking Freedon Nadd. This isn’t possible, he can’t be real. He must be a ghost, a hallucination, anything but the reanimated corpse of a man whose been dead for thousands of years.

Nadd lunges forward, his bloodshot yellow eyes drilling into hers, somehow catching her and taking hold. She recoils, splaying herself backwards on the floor to avoid his wrath. “You will end it, here and now. You will spill your blood, to give me life.”

His words pound into her brain, his presence forcing itself into her thoughts, dominating her being. She resists, wishes she could close her eyes against the yellow, and the pain intensifies. Her head feels like it is being ripped in two. She screams, Kylo’s name leaving her mouth in a pitiful wail of pleading.

The pain stops.

Freedon Nadd looks down, to where a crimson glow has appeared in his chest. His mouth falls open in surprise, but the wound spreads. His body begins to collapse, but before he can finish his fall, he disappears.

Jeyna is left staring at the space he had previously occupied, when she realizes she can see the glow of Ren’s lightsaber beyond. He’s driven it into the open sarcophagus, to where she assumes Nadd’s actual remains lay.

She watches as he jerks it back out, deactivating it. He drops to a seat on the floor, she can hear the heavy breathing coming through his helmet.

Aleck hesitantly asks, “Miss Torre?”

She sits up, pushing off the cold stone to turn to him. He’s visibly shaken looking as he pulls himself from the ground as well. “I’m…fine,” she lies. She feels far from fine, her head in the throes of a splitting headache. She’s shaken by the assault on her mind. “Did he mess with your head, too?” she asks. Aleck nods, once.

It’s then she notices the computer terminal. Somehow, it has turned itself on and booted up what they need. The star map is projecting there, apparently having been activated.

“The star map,” she calls to Ren, who is still sitting by the sarcophagus. His mask moves slightly towards the computer, before he shakes it as if breaking himself from thought.

He rises, approaching it. Before her curiosity can take hold, Jeyna puzzles its appearance. Why did Revan leave the map here, by the clearly haunted remains of Freedon Nadd? Did killing his ghost somehow unlock the map?

If so, Jeyna is sure Ren wouldn’t have needed her for that. Why had the console on Kashyyyk required her blood, while this one required something so different? Jeyna allows herself to make the tentative assumption that she is somehow distantly related to Revan. Had he been assuming his descendents would be strong with the force?

The thought almost makes her snort in laughter. What a disappointment she would be to him, then.

Ren’s copied the map to his datapad, and he surveys her where she is still sitting on the ground. “Are you alright?”

She pushes herself to standing, attempting to seem more collected than she is. It’s impossible for her to read his voice with the mask on, whether it is concern or impatience coloring his tone. “I’ll be fine,” she answers.

The holocron sits, waiting. She approaches it, laying her fingertips on it. She doesn’t know what to expect, but it unfurls to project the dizzying lights of the smuggler’s moon. The last place she would have guessed for Revan to hide something important to him.

“Nar Shaddaa.” Ren’s surprise is apparent. “Did Revan have ties to it?”

“Not that I knew of,” Jeyna admits. The mystery has grown even more bizarre to her, and she finds herself disliking each new development. But she can’t stop, nor would she even without Ren to push her onwards. She has to pull on the thread, regardless of how much it unwinds.


	14. Ch. 14

When they emerge from the tomb, Dxun is in the midst of an intense storm. Rain is coming down in sheets, whipped sideways by blasts of wind. Lightning is criss-crossing the sky above the clearing of their camp, lighting up the jungle in flashes.

Ren surprises her, by dismissing Aleck and asking her to accompany him back to the shuttle. Jeyna doesn’t know why he needs her company, but she pulls her hood up, holding it against the wind. They hurry across camp to get to the landing site, but her face is already soaked by the time they get there. Luckily the rain gear helped keep the rest of her dry.

She trails him into the communications room of the ship, watching as he sets his datapad to transmit the newest part of the star map.

When he’s done, he turns to her. “It will take them some time to extract the holocrons for shipping. With the storm, I doubt we could take off anyway. We might end up spending another night on Dxun.”

Jeyna shrugs, careful to keep her distance from him in the small space. “Good. I hate being on that ship.”

Ren’s mask tilts slowly off center as he surveys her. “There is something different about you. I felt it back in the cave, also.”

“The ghost of a dead Sith Lord just played mind games with me,” she replies defensively. “I’m feeling a little shaken.”

“That’s not it.”

She stares at the mask, confused. He reaches his hands up, to either side of the helmet, pulling it from his head. Jeyna wishes he wouldn’t, it’s so much easier to handle herself when she can’t see his face or hear his voice. The dark hair spills out, and his eyes are on hers. They’re suspicious as he closes the distance between them to search her gaze. Her heart beats faster at his closeness, her palms damp with nerves.

She feels his presence in her mind, light and testing. It’s only there for a moment before he is gone again. His lips press together, face holding back a wave of anger.

“I can feel the force in you,” he says, fuming. “He’s woken you to it.”

Jeyna’s mouth falls open in shock. “What? Freedon Nadd?”

Ren’s jaw clenches, she sees the black gloves curl into fists. She does not understand his fury. “Wait…was he telling the truth? Did you lie about my blood test?” she asks.

His anger falters. “Did he tell you that?”

“What were my results?” she presses.

Ren’s face remains stubbornly blank, though his eyes look to be torn. “Elevated, but not to a significant level… Inconclusive.”

“Hux said they were average,” she argues.

“Hux saw a fake report.”

She stares at him, but his face is unreadable. “Why did you fake the report?”

He turns his back on her, walking away as if to check the progress on the data transfer, his attention on the computer. “If the Supreme Leader feels the force in you… I don’t know what he will do.”

Her heart feels as if it has dropped into her stomach. “But I’m not like you. I’m nothing like you. I can’t do the things that you do,” she insists, trying to be reasonable.

He turns to give her a glare. “I’ve been trained.”

“No amount of training would make me as powerful as you,” she bites back stubbornly. Jeyna has seen too much of his skill, and she knows power like that will never reside within her. She suspects even the taste of power she’d felt in the tomb, with the knife in her hand, had come from Freedon Nadd. Not her.

Ren sighs, nodding once. “That is true. It is weak, what I feel. It’s possible you’d never be able to use it for anything of substance, even with training.”

Jeyna swallows, wishing he would say something more to reassure her. He doesn’t, staying silent. She can feel the turbulence of his mood in the air, and it almost makes her stop before the question leaves her. But she speculates over what else the ghost said. If the part about her blood had been truth, perhaps other parts had been as well.

“Did you leave me in the interrogation room for a week? Or was that Hux?”

“I was told they had failed to recover anyone from Dantooine. I only discovered you when I found a medical droid being dispatched to interrogation, while no prisoners were on record,” Ren answers.

She leans against the doorframe, tearing her eyes away from him. How long would Hux have tortured her for? How many other prisoners has he done this to, dragging out their pain just to spite Ren?

“What else did Freedon Nadd tell you?” He approaches her slowly, searching her face as he comes to a stop in front of her once more.

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” she answers quickly, leaving her eyes somewhere on the floor of the ship. He lingers, watching her. She doesn’t want to talk about what else happened in the tomb, so she skates over it in her mind and tries to focus elsewhere.

He’s too close, it’s causing tension to build in her body. She doesn’t want to look at him, doesn’t want to acknowledge the magnetic pull she feels when he is this near.

He steps even closer and she flinches, her pulse racing as she remembers his mouth against hers. Just being alone with him is enough to send her mind back into that delirious place, craving more. She has to get away from him. She wants to go, back to her little room, or even back to her quarters on the Finalizer. She thinks of both, wanting to escape her own thoughts.

“What are you doing?” he asks quietly.

Jeyna keeps her eyes down as she moves one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. She pictures the storm outside, the rumbling thunder and soaking rain. She’d have better luck feeling in control standing in the midst of that.

“Are you trying to hide your thoughts from me?” Ren tilts her face up sharply, his hand holding her there.

His honey eyes lock onto hers, and she recalls how wild and black they’d been in the dark, before he’d let her taste him. She can’t stop the rush of pleasure she feels at the memory, the desire surging forward from where she’d pathetically tried to wall it up.

“That’s better,” he says softly, his hold of her cheek turning gentle.

She struggles to drag in a breath, his chaotic energy is surrounding her. “Please.” She breathes the word before she realizes it’s left her lips.

“Please what?” Ren leans closer, freezing her in place.

Jeyna can’t answer him, she is torn between wanting to flee and wanting more. She can’t think straight. Why had she been trying to fight this? Her brain manages to string together her thoughts, and she hesitantly answers him. “You told me to be good. I was trying.”

His gaze turns predatory, and simultaneously calculating. “Is that what you want? You want to be good for me?” His hand slips down, covering her throat. Her body responds in the same, twisted way as the last time, arousal curling.

She struggles to reply, confused by his conflicting words and actions, her brain fogged with lust and intimidation. “I…I’m not…” She gives up, giving him a desperate look. “Kylo…”

He moves back a bit, dropping his hold of her, even as his eyes narrow. “Don’t try to hide your thoughts from me again.”

She nods at his order, and when he steps back further, she hurries from the ship.

**Night on Dxun**

Jeyna’s deep in sleep when the hand clamps over her mouth, jerking her into startled awareness. She flails, but a second hand catches her arm before it can strike whoever’s assailing her.

Her sleep-blurred eyes clear, and she sees Aleck’s face, his expression tense. 

“We need to leave, now,” he whispers urgently, his voice barely audible. “Something’s come out of the tomb, there’s no time. Be quiet and stay close with me. If you lose me, get to the ship.”

Her eyes widen in terror at the implication, wondering what he is referring to. Some sort of creature? It must be very dangerous for him to be acting this way. Before she can think further, he removes his hand from her face to pull her from her bed, thrusting the blaster pistol into her hand. He motions for her to follow. She moves on autopilot, fear and shock setting in. 

They creep into the hallway, edging near the door of the small dormitory. There is no sign of Ren. Aleck pushes the door open slowly, his blaster trained on the exterior. Somewhere in the camp, Jeyna hears a shot go off. It’s quickly followed by a man screaming.

Her guard is undeterred, stepping out into the dark to slink along the building. His head is moving silently back and forth, scanning the area as he leads her towards the landing area. She tries to step as quietly as possible, crouching as he does to minimize their appearance.

They turn a corner, and Jeyna is confronted by the sight of one of the troopers. The telltale white armor is torn off, his chest shredded open. She feels bile rise, hot and sour, up her throat at the sight of his broken ribs snapped off. The cavity of his sternum is dark with blood, but it looks like something has eaten parts of him. Her mind reels as she understands the situation she's woken up to. 

She feels Aleck’s hand on her arm, and realizes she’s stopped for too long. She tears her eyes from the sight of the dead man, and gives him a nod to continue. She needs to stay present if she’s going to survive whatever is loose in the base. She tries to push away the fear, to be brave. It's failing.

He stops them at the edge, peering out to clear the space between them and the supply building. His hand raises, giving her a small wave and Jeyna joins him as they quickly sprint across the gap. They slow again when they have a wall to their back, and she attempts to strengthen her grip on the pistol. Her hands are shaking badly.

They’re almost to the end of the supply building when blaster fire erupts somewhere nearby. Jeyna can hear a second, alien noise. But she can’t tell what it is or where it is coming from. Aleck’s head whips around, before he shoves her, away from the wall and behind a stack of crates. He drags her further into the shelter the piles of supplies provide.

The noise sounds louder, like a rough, reverberating snarling. It’s deep, Jeyna feels like it’s shaking her chest. Whatever it is must be close.

There are more shots from blasters as Aleck presses her tighter into the hiding place, his weapon held ready. There is a pair of screams, and then, she hears it.

Relief floods her body at the sound, the unmistakable crackling of Ren’s lightsaber. The snarling noise grows into a deep roar, the sound loud enough to hurt her eardrums, before it is cut off.

Has he killed it? Jeyna’s eyes are darting about in the dark, searching, waiting to hear or see something. She startles when Ren appears without warning, the red glow of his saber giving enough light to make out his completely black-cloaked shape.

“Get her to the ship. The way is cleared,” he orders.

Aleck is already jerking her upright before Ren finishes speaking, and he pulls her from their hiding place as they resume the path forward. Jeyna’s feet are dragging despite herself, as she looks back in concern for Ren. Why isn't he following them? Didn't he kill whatever it was?

Aleck doesn’t humor her slow pace, pulling her along more firmly until she complies, running with him for the ship. They clear the last few tents quickly, and are almost there when he drops her arm.

“Run, Jeyna!”

She obeys,picking her pace up to as fast as she can push herself. She hears as he begins firing, understanding there must be more of whatever the threat is. She’s almost to the ship when she hears the deep, garbled snarling, of whatever nightmare has come pouring from the tomb. Jeyna falters, her mind on Ren, knowing somehow that he is in danger. Looking back, she see that Aleck is firing at three hideous beasts. And they are surrounding Ren.

His lightsaber is a blur, whipping around him in a hazy red swirl as he holds them off. She’s never seen anything like them before. They are as tall as a man, but roped in coarse muscle and standing on all four legs. Their skin is covered in reptilian scales, the light low enough to make them appear black, and her eyes catch sight of something protruding from the lower jaw of each one. It’s like a long, wicked spike that stabs downward.

As they lunge towards Ren, they seem to be attempting to impale him with it. He manages to catch one finally with the saber, it stumbles back from the blow across its chest. Aleck picks it off with a shot to the head.

Jeyna watches as, with the odds improved, Ren efficiently takes out the last two.

Aleck runs to catch up to her, hauling her backwards to the ship. He drags her up the ramp, opening the hatch. She’s staring, dazed, as she sees the swarm appear. At least a dozen more monsters are moving, deeper in the camp, crawling over the ground as if feeling their way. They’re coming straight for them.

Blaster fire erupts somewhere distant, on the far side of the base. Ren ignores it as he climbs the ramp. “What are you staring at, get on the ship!” he snarls, snatching her as he approaches to manhandle her into the hatch. He slams his hand on the controls, the door shutting against the sight of the beasts, now sprinting towards the receding ramp.

Ren shoves her at Aleck, striding towards the cockpit. She stutters after him. “There was shooting-what if there are men left, someone might be alive-”

“They won’t be alive long,” he snaps, the mask making the cruelty in his voice more pronounced as he disappears from view.

Aleck pulls her back from the slamming noise of something impacting the hatch door. The ship’s engines jump to life, growing louder.

The sound of the shuttle priming for takeoff is combated by the banging against the door, as the monstrous creatures throw themselves into the metal. The ship lurches suddenly, lifting in a hurry. Aleck steadies her so she doesn’t go toppling onto the ground, moving her to a seat.

Jeyna sits, holding on as they accelerate. Where had those things come from? They hadn’t seen anything like them in the tomb, but there must have been dozens of them lurking in there. Why hadn’t they attacked before? Why now?

“The holocrons,” she says suddenly, to no one in particular. She swears she can feel the buzzing they produce, somewhere on the ship.

Jeyna looks around, seeing Aleck has sat across from her. He’s watching her, a concerned expression on his marred face. “Did we get the Sith holocrons out?”

“They were just finishing up, loading them into the cargo hold,” he says. “You look pale. You might need to lay down.”

She feels like laughing hysterically at his suggestion. They have abandoned camp, leaving possible survivors to be hunted down by the swarm of whatever type of animal that was. An entire squad of troopers, and a team of technicians and workers have just been slaughtered, and by the looks of it, eaten by hideous monsters. Surely laying down wouldn’t help that?

The ship’s flight evens out as they exit the atmosphere, reaching a steady cruising speed. She looks down at herself. She hadn’t even put boots on, her socks are soaked with mud. Luckily she’d fallen asleep in her pants, but her torso is clothed only in her undershirt. She stumbles up from the chair, rising clumsily.

Aleck moves as if to stand with her, but she waves him off. “I’m going to the refresher.”

Jeyna’s relieved he doesn’t follow her as she makes her way to the small port side dormitory. She tugs open supply lockers, searching. She finds only men’s clothing, settling for the too-large shirt. The boots are a size too big, but they and the clean socks will do.

Jeyna carries the items into the refresher, stripping and turning the lukewarm water on. At first, she attempts to scrub diligently, intent on being clean. But she ends up washing quickly, racing to turn the water off before her emotions catch up to her. She leans against the wall of the shower, sliding down to sit. The tears leak out of her eyes, and she tries to calm herself.

This is more than she’s ever had to contend with before. She doesn’t know how to handle such stress, the repeated brushes with danger or death. Her nerves are frayed as she focuses on slowing her breathing, fighting hysterics. She tries to block out the image of the dead stormtrooper's remains, to not imagine the fate of all the others. 

She forces herself to her feet, drying off roughly and jerking clothes onto her body. But she doesn’t make it far, just into the dormitory, before the sobs come back. She feels pathetic as she sits again, the wet towel crumpled on the floor besides her. She can’t stop the crying, so she muffles it with a fist over her mouth, and lets it out.


	15. Ch. 15

Jeyna feels better the moment she stops trying to push away the pent-up emotions of the last few weeks. It’s an intense, but short display, and when her breathing starts to even out she feels calmer.

The tears are drying into salty tracks on her cheeks, and her eyes feel puffy as she watches the door to the dormitory open. Ren enters, and Jeyna looks over him. He’s dressed in casuals, his hair still wet as if he’s just come from the other refresher. But something else about him is different, she thinks, as he hesitantly approaches her.

He stops next to her, sliding down the wall to sit. He drops a commlink onto the floor, near her towel.

Ren’s eyes stay fixated on his hands, propped on his knees. She can’t place it, but his energy feels changed from the last time they had been alone together. He’s less volatile, he doesn’t immediately overwhelm her like he has in the past.

She’s reminded of the morning she’d woken up with him on Kashyyyk, how calm his presence had made her feel. Until he’d roused fully and pulled away, turning cold.

They sit in silence for several moments, and though Jeyna’s heart responds to his closeness, she is able to keep her wits about her. He finally takes a breath as if he’s about to speak, but holds it for a beat before exhaling.

“Do you know what those were?” she asks to break the silence. She had researched the creatures of Dxun, and never came across anything remotely similar.

“I think they were devourers,” he says uncertainly. “I remember reading about them. Places with strong ties to the dark side can warp the natural wildlife.”

She’s intrigued. “Where did you read that?”

When he looks at her finally, she notices his face is somehow more relaxed, his eyes almost vulnerable. “In a Jedi text.”

The answer catches her off guard, as she wonders where he would have accessed such a record. But she doesn’t press him to explain. Something about the moment makes her unwilling to push, content instead to settle with the much more relaxed chemistry between them.

“By the time I would have gotten to them, they’d have been dead,” he says suddenly. “Assuming I could have reached them. More were waking up in the tomb, the ship could have been overrun.”

She understands he is justifying himself, and searches for the right response. His decision had been logical, and she doesn’t fault him for it.

Jeyna sees his hands from the corner of her eye, and realizes they are trembling slightly. She turns to face him, searching his face in surprise. Is he upset?

Ren’s staring at his hands again, and he clenches them to stop the shake. Jeyna’s pensive as she remembers when they’d spoken about his powers, the implication of them. How does someone else’s death feel to him? If he can feel their emotions, hear their thoughts… He must sense their fear, their despair. What does it feel like to him when their heart stops, their brain shuts down?

Does he have to feel that, every time he kills for the First Order’s cause? Every time he’s around death, does he have to experience it intimately? Did he feel it as every single one of the men on Dxun were torn apart?

She can’t begin to imagine. It must happen often, judging by her little time with him. How does he cope with feeling so much of the suffering and death that he’s constantly surrounded by? How can he bring himself to inflict it on anyone or anything, when he has to feel the results in such a way?

Horrified, she finds herself reaching for one of his hands on impulse. She takes it in both of hers, still failing to encompass it fully.

“Kylo…” she says softly, unsure what else to say. Nothing she can say will truly console him, or change what he has to endure. His power seems more like a curse to her in this moment. She wishes she could comfort him, pull him closer. But she’s hesitant to do more, already feeling the muscles of his hand tense at her grip.

“Since I was a child, people have only ever wanted to get farther away from me,” he says, slowly. “Why do you want to be closer?”

She meets his eyes, the familiar magnetism trapping her gaze in his. She doesn’t know how to answer him. How can she explain the overriding instinct she feels, drawing her towards him? That her whole life, she’s been able to tell when something valuable has been buried, deep out of sight, and she’s felt a relentless need to surface it?

He turns, leaning down closer to her face. His free hand pushes a strand of her hair, still damp, back from her eyes. “I’m not buried treasure, Jeyna. It’s nothing so pretty.”

“I don’t care,” she says defiantly. Her body, which was slow to warm to his presence, is heating up at the open expression of his face. How unguarded he is in the moment thrills her, jittery impulses racing along her skin.

“You don’t?” Kylo presses, voice low. She doesn’t miss the way his eyes dart to her lips, and the twitch of excitement is causes in her stomach. “There is no good to unearth in me.”

Despite his words, she hears the doubt in his voice. It breaks through clearly, shattering the last bit of self control she’d been hanging onto. Jeyna closes the distance that separates them, brushing her lips against his hesitantly. “Please,” she breathes again, knowing now what she is begging for.

His own control breaks, he turns her head so he can access her fully. The kiss isn’t as bruising as the last, his lips lingering on hers, tender. Elation blooms in her chest at how sweetly he holds her face, the tentative way he deepens the kiss. Everything about this is different than their last encounter, less rushed, but more exposed.

All too soon, he breaks away, edging back from her lips. She searches his face, the dark lashes resting against pale skin. The hand she still holds moves, winding fingers through hers, while he breathes as if struggling to steady himself.

“You don’t understand what you’re doing,” he says quietly, frustration lacing his words.

His eyes open, and she can see the shadow of emotion cross them, like watching a storm roll in. “What do you mean?”

“You’re a bird, choosing the cage,” he answers.

“Did I ever have a choice?” she asks, confused. Jeyna hadn’t been given one, when the First Order took her. Or did he mean there would be one, eventually?

Kylo pulls his hand from hers, to trace his thumb over her cheekbone and down, to her chin. She can see the transformation come over him, the way his face hardens over the vulnerability. She feels the energy turn thick, the tension returning. “It doesn’t matter now,” he says, and it sounds final.

His hand trails downward, a single finger tracing the line of her neck until it hooks onto the neckline of the oversized shirt she’s wearing. “What is this?”

She drops her gaze to it, licking her lips nervously. “The ship is only stocked with men’s clothing.”

“How ridiculous,” he remarks, distracted. He grabs her hips suddenly, lifting and pulling her until she straddles him. Her knees are forced wide by how broad he is, and a shiver shoots up her spine as she settles down against him.

Jeyna hears the commlink go off, but he ignores it. She’s studying his face, trying to read what emotion is warring underneath it. But with the openness gone, his eyes have turned hungry. It makes her heart speed up, fear returning with lust as if they belong together. His hands rise from her hips, moving under her shirt to trail fingertips up her bare sides.

They reach her bottom rib and stop. “Is this alright?” he asks, eyes flickering between hers. When she nods, he licks his bottom lip. “Good girl,” he breathes.

A shock of pleasure shoots through her core at the praise, causing her breath to come out like a gasp. His hands trace the sides of her breasts, exposed under the shirt, before his thumbs brush across her nipples.

The commlink goes off again, and she flinches as it goes flying into the wall, shattering into pieces that rain down on the metal floor of the dormitory. Jeyna wants to ask if that was important, but his thumbs continue swirling around and brushing over the sensitive parts of her chest, making the words vanish. Her breathing turns shallow, and she longs to touch him too. But everything about him warns her not to, and she stays frozen where he’s placed her.

He reaches around her back, placing a palm along her spine to push her, upward and towards him. She follows his lead, rising up onto her knees.

“Hands on the wall,” Kylo orders.

She obeys, placing them flat against the cool metal above his shoulders. She breathes in sharply when he bends his head to bite her neck, before kissing and licking at the tender spot. His hands roam the skin under her shirt, restless. Her mind quickly becomes dizzy with his touches, as he works his way up and down her neck. Rough bites mixed with apologetic kisses until he finds a spot that makes a desperate moan leave her.

His hands grip her hips, roughly pulling her down to grind against him. She bites her lip, strangling the noise of pleasure, her body reacting too strongly. Everything in her is screaming for more, and she’s lost. The world has become him.

Kylo’s mouth finds hers again, and his kiss is dominating. She gives in on instinct, the growl that comes from his chest rewarding her when she opens her mouth for him. His arm pulls her hips tightly against him, a hand tangling in her hair. He bites her lower lip, before his own lips lock over it so he can run his tongue across the swollen skin. When his mouth covers hers fully again, she’s drunk on the feeling of it.

Panic worms its way into her chest, interrupting the flood of heat. Jeyna’s overcome by the intensity, the rough demands of his hunger and her own desperation that rises to meet it. Her hands drop to cling onto him, a whimper of fear and need leaving her.

He breaks his hold, leaning back. It’s just enough space for her to catch back onto reality. He gives her time, lets her focus on breathing, on calming her racing heart. She feels his presence in her mind before he says, gently, “You’re afraid.”

“Not of you,” she assures automatically, avoiding his gaze in embarrassment. She shifts off his lap, moving to sit beside him. How to explain, that she feels lost in the tidal wave of lust? That she fears she won’t find her way back if she gives in?

Does she even need to explain? Nothing in her is private, he sees and takes it all.

He reaches to turn her face, lifting her eyes to his. “Do you trust me?”

The question stuns her, and she falters. Her instincts, and her traitorous body, want to say yes immediately. But can she really trust someone whose given her no free will over her life? Ren’s forced her to do what he wants, used her to further his goals.

“I’m not patient,” Kylo says, voice turning cold. “Decide soon.”

He stands, striding to the door of the dormitory. “We’ll be docking on the Finalizer soon.”

She doesn’t answer, and he leaves her in silence. Her hand rises to her neck, running over the flesh his attention has made tender. She winces as she realizes it might have left marks, pulling her hair closer to the skin.

What would become of her life, after she helped him find whatever the map led to? _You’re a bird, choosing the cage._ Would he let her choose freedom? Did she trust him, to offer her that? Or did she trust the hunger in his gaze, that would keep her a prisoner?

Jeyna pulls herself upright, walking to one of the lower bunks of the dormitory. She curls up on it, wrapping her arms around herself and wishing her life could be the simple pursuit of her studies again. She’d avoided men for the most part up until now, content to settle for one lackluster experience in her youth.

Was this what it was supposed to feel like? Was this love, or passion, or pure animalistic drive? It was consuming, and she’d never imagined anything as terrifying.

Or was it Kylo Ren? Was it his power that made it this way? It wasn’t just how he used the force, it was more than that… She thinks of the holocron from her childhood. Of how the image of Revan speaking to her had captivated her young mind. She had felt the importance radiating even from the holorecording.

Is this how it was for all strong force users? Did they drive the galaxy, twist fate in their hands? Or was it the force itself, using them as tools, pushing them along predetermined routes? Were they all just prisoners, to one another, and the endless will of the force?

Her head aches, and she closes her eyes. Jeyna wishes she could block it all out, but her mind reaches out in newfound awareness. She can feel Kylo, his agitation, his tension. She focuses, unsure if the connection is real or not. But there, beneath the anger, she feels it. Regret. Longing.


	16. Ch. 16

They arrive on the Finalizer, Aleck taking Jeyna straight to her quarters. It is late into the night cycle of the ship, which suits her fine. She immediately falls into an exhausted sleep, though it is riddled with nightmares.

Aleck brings her a replacement datapad in the morning, since her old one was left on the jungle moon. Her work is already reloaded, backed up through Ren’s device. She spends most of her day researching Nar Shaddaa from the time of the Old Republic, hoping to find a connection to Revan that will inform a search area.

She fails to make any headway, and it is quickly turning late at night when she gives in to the protesting grumbles of her stomach. She considers ordering food to be brought to her quarters, reluctant to spend time anywhere else on the Finalizer. But she also feels stir crazy from being in the same space for so long.

Jeyna uses the comm panel to call for Aleck, apologizing for the late hour. He waves it off with a small smile, appearing outside her door a few minutes later.

The walk to the dining hall is silent, neither of them speaking. Jeyna doesn’t mind, somehow the silence feels amicable instead of awkward. When they arrive, the large space is mostly deserted, save for a table of technicians. They stare at her as she passes, and she dares to glare back.

When they sit at the table farthest from them, Aleck is grinning. “What?” she asks.

“They anger you,” he remarks simply, before adding, “They can’t help themselves, the rumors are bound to spread.”

“Rumors?” She takes a bite of food, to stop the persistent growling of her stomach.

“There are very few women on board this ship,” Aleck says. “Apologies if this is bold of me, but you are beautiful. And the Commander moved you into an executive suite, and made it known you are off limits.”

“So they assume I’m his whore,” she spits out the word, anger spiking at Aleck’s words.

He winces. “Mistress, would be the more appropriate conclusion.”

Jeyna narrows her eyes at him. “Same difference.” The food tastes bland, or perhaps that is her sudden poor attitude coloring it.

“Most of them think Commander Ren is not even human. That he is in some way supernatural. One entertaining rumor was that the helmet was the only thing keeping him alive,” Aleck shares quietly. “You are proof he is very much a man.”

She swallows down a sarcastic reply. “Surely a few of them have seen him without his mask, over the years?”

“A few, perhaps. Strangely the ones who do always seem to forget.” Aleck’s tone suggests it is not a simple matter of forgetting.

“But you’ve seen him without the mask, haven’t you?” Jeyna presses. He hadn’t been wearing it for part of the flight back from Dxun.

“Only because I’ve known him a long time,” he concedes. “I remember when he first came to the First Order. It wasn’t long after that he started hiding his face.”

Her curiosity is peaked, and she sits her fork down. “Why? Did he start hiding it, I mean?”

He hesitates, seeming to consider his words carefully, before he answers. “He was very young. It was necessary, for his orders to be followed.”

“How young?”

“Young enough to not be a man, yet,” Aleck says dismissively, his gaze wandering the room. The technicians have left, leaving the two of them alone.

She tries to imagine Ren’s life in this place, before he was an adult. How isolated he must have felt, a teenager trying to play at being mature enough to handle whatever they asked of him. Why had they even allowed him to join so young? Because of his abilities with the force? Had he joined willingly, or had no choice?

Jeyna doesn’t venture to ask any of those questions, unwilling to push further in case Ren is listening. She flinches as she realizes he might not have liked what Aleck’s already told her. “Will this get you in trouble?” she asks suddenly. “Telling me about him, I mean.”

The older man smiles slowly. “You don’t need to worry about that right now. The Commander is far from the ship, which will make it harder for him to hear your thoughts. He’s also likely too focused to bother.”

She frowns. “Where is he? I didn’t realize he’d left.”

“He is meeting with the Supreme Leader, aboard the Supremacy.”

Her heart thuds in her chest at the mention of their leader. Jeyna tries to reassure herself. If the touch of the force Nadd managed to awaken inside her is as weak as Kylo said, surely it won’t be enough to attract his attention.

She attempts to return her attention to her food, to distract herself from the anxiety. Aleck is silent while she eats, waiting until she is done to speak again.

“What would you be doing, Miss Torre, if not serving the First Order?” he asks.

She is surprised by his question, searching his eyes for his intention. They give away nothing. “Why does it matter? I’m here.”

“But if you weren’t?” he presses. She feels suspicion, though she can’t place what it’s regarding.

“I’m not sure…” Truly, Jeyna can’t answer the question. Doubtless, she would’ve pursued the leads on Revan on her own, and perhaps she wouldn’t have made it this far. She might have been forced to give up, or been delayed getting assistance with an expedition to Kashyyyk. If she’d tried to foolishly go it alone, like she’d been known to in the past when support fell through, she might have even ended up dead.

The line of thinking only serves to make her feel bitter. Ren’s helped her with her own goals, even while that wasn’t his intention.

“Sometimes I like to think about if I had a different life. Where would I go? What would I do?” Aleck muses, his voice turning self-deprecating. “If I weren’t who I am, what would I want to be?”

“And what do you come up with?” she asks.

“Nothing.” He looks peaceful in his answer. “I have been what I am for so long, I can’t seriously imagine anything different. I know my course.”

Jeyna swallows, feeling a strange emotion she can’t identify. She realizes even before she was apprehended on Dantooine, she hadn’t known her course. Her next step was always to follow a question, pursue a lead. She’d dedicated her time to studying, not taking action.

“If I weren’t here, I’d just be doing what I’ve always done,” she admits. He nods.

“Would you like that better?”

His questions have a way of shaking her, making her scramble to form a sensible answer. She dislikes the direction the conversation has taken, even as she admits to herself she wouldn’t like it better. The thought of returning to her former life suddenly seems pale, even though she doesn’t prefer the current situation either.

“No. I…” she trails off, unable to bring herself to say the words. Her life had been spent barely even existing, by her own choice. She’d avoided settling in any one place, avoided lasting relationships. She’d never done anything to make an impact, to affect anyone. Even what she published of her research, it was from such a long ago time that only the most scattered of her fellow scholars took notice. It mattered only to her, in an obsessive way, to learn about Revan. She clung to it in the absence of anything else. “I don’t think anything I’ve done has mattered. I don’t think I have mattered.”

Aleck’s calm expression studies her, letting her words linger too long for her comfort. Finally, he says, “You are searching for a cause.”

A chilling feeling settles over her, at his astute observation. He’s pinpointed something she’s been running from since childhood. That, alone in the galaxy, she’s felt the absolute lack of a real purpose to her life. She fights the tears that spring to her eyes, chewing her lip as she looks away from him.

“I’m sorry to have upset you, Miss Torre,” he apologizes, sounding genuine. She shakes her head.

“Can we drop it?” she asks, fighting to regain control of her emotions. She dislikes how scattered and intense they’ve been lately, more emotion crammed into a few weeks of her life than the last decade.

“Of course.” She can feel him still watching her, studying her. The suspicion returns.

**The Next Day**

It’s the middle of the day on the Finalizer, and Jeyna is frustrated at her lack of progress. She has not found a single lead regarding Nar Shaddaa, and has already exhausted her back up plan. She searched through the list of known allies of Revan’s, seeing if any of them were tied to the planet. She had turned up nothing.

She’s sprawled on the couch, the datapad settled uselessly on her lap, when her door slides open. It surprises her, and she jumps up to see Ren storm in.

He’s in full combat gear, helmet on, the dramatic cloak sweeping the tops of his boots. She can feel the energy rolling off of him, turbulent waves of something negative and barely repressed. His hands are clenched tightly into fists.

Jeyna stands hesitantly, unsure what to say. The metal and black void of a face stares at her, giving no clues. The silence stretches on until she can’t stand it any longer. “I haven’t been able to narrow down where we should look on Nar Shaddaa-”

“Your sole purpose here, and you are failing at it.”

Her mouth falls open at the cruelty of his tone, twisted deeper by the mask. “I’ll keep trying, but I don’t know what you want from me if I can’t find anything,” she says, voice coming out weak. She hates herself for it, wishes she could stand up to his anger instead of always shrinking from it.

“If you can’t do your job, then I shouldn’t bother keeping you.”

The logical part of her wants to argue with him. He might still need her, to unlock the holocrons. He is overlooking the facts to threaten her. But there is also a part of her that is hurt by his comment, by what it implies. The way it ignores everything else that has happened between them.

Jeyna steps back, as if physical distance can prevent the hurt he’s causing her. She hears the hiss of anger from the helmet at her motion.

“Is that what you want? To flee?” Ren stalks forward, ranting, “Do you think if you fail to provide information, I’ll let you go? That you can escape me?”

He reaches her as she runs out of space to escape backward, and she is pinned into the wall by the size of him, the barrier that is his rage. “I can’t find anything, I’m trying!” she insists.

He’s breathing heavily, the mask filtering the pants into static. She remembers what Aleck had said, that he had been meeting with Snoke. She clings onto understanding, and ventures, “Is that what’s wrong with you? What happened, with the Supreme Leader?”

Ren growls, the sound reverberating mechanically. “That is none of your business.”

“Is that why you’re being so cruel to me? Did he upset you?” Jeyna asks, searching the blackness that hides his eyes from hers. He recoils at her words, stepping back. The action gives her courage, it fuels her as she realizes she is on the right track.

“Take off your mask,” she says, surprisingly bold.

“You don’t give me orders,” Kylo snarls back. But she notices as he takes another step away from her.

“Take off your mask!” she demands, loudly. Her heart is beating wildly, panicking at the danger of shouting at him. But she doesn’t care, recklessness taking over.

He steps back again, and again. When he rips the helmet from his head, he hurls it into the wall. The crack of its impact implies he might have broken the horrible thing again. His eyes are wild, his hair hanging into them, as he glares at her. His face is newly marked with a horrible, red welt. It crisscrosses over his cheek and onto his forehead, resembling a burn.

Jeyna stares at his eyes, and they remind her of a trapped animal. She dares to take a step forward.

“Don’t,” he warns, his chest heaving as he contains himself.

She ignores him, taking another small step. “What happened? He hurt you?”

“It’s his way,” he says tonelessly.

Her eyes sting, welling with tears as she understands. Another step brings her in front of him as she asks, “Why?”

His face breaks, the muscles twitching at the release of his hold over them. She sees pain fill his eyes. “You.”

Jeyna can’t stop herself, her hand rising to his jawline. She is careful to avoid the injury, stroking along his other cheek, pausing to rest her hand against his skin. His eyes search hers desperately. “You make me weak. When this is done…”

Ren’s voice is more timid than she’s ever heard it. She understands what he means, and despite the self-preservation that surges in her, she is oddly calm. She realizes she does trust him. And she trusts herself, passionately, in a way she never has before.

She doesn’t overthink it, or obsess over it in her brain like she always has. She listens to the advice she’s been given, lets the intention lie in her heart.

“It’s okay,” she tells him, resting her other hand on his shoulder. 

The last trace of anger dies from his eyes, even as he searches her face in disbelief. She stands on her tiptoes, reaching up to press her lips to his softly. It’s a chaste, gentle kiss. When she breaks away, she strokes his cheek once more. “It’s okay, Kylo.”


	17. Ch. 17

He tilts his forehead down, pressing it into hers, shutting his eyes tightly. “You don’t understand…” he breathes.

“I do,” she insists. He’s meant to get rid of her, to eliminate a weakness. And though the thought of it makes her chest clench painfully with anxiety, her intuition holds strong. Protectiveness and affection surge in her, overshadowing her fear for her own fate. She feels him reach out, his presence creeping into her mind.

Jeyna closes her eyes, and the connection strengthens. His energy is settling. It’s still intense, but focused instead of erratic. Her lips part as she breathes in quickly, caught off guard by the high that buzzes in her veins, transmitted to her through the connection he’s forged. It reminds her of what she’d felt in the tomb, but magnified a hundred-fold. Whatever Freedon Nadd had awoken in her, it was just enough for her to feel what surged steadily through Ren in the wake of his warring emotions.

A shaky breath exits his chest as he steps back from her. The connection breaks, and the power that he shared for just a moment is pulled away. She’s left trembling at the absence, dizzy.

“You trust me.” It’s not a question, but a statement. She opens her eyes to meet his, nodding her affirmation. He turns, retrieving his helmet from where it’s dented the wall of her living quarters. Without another word, he leaves.

Jeyna watches the door close behind him, still swirling from the taste of the force. She sits back on the couch, balancing anxiously on the edge.

She fights the urge to overthink the situation, which is quickly deteriorating into chaos. She knows what she must do, and she will trust her gut feeling.

Of course, ignoring her anxiety doesn’t come easily. The thought of the Supreme Leader wanting her dead is not a comforting one. She eventually turns to a familiar habit of distraction, throwing herself fully into her work to keep the panicked thoughts at bay.

Jeyna thinks of the places they’ve already found pieces of the star map: Dantooine, Kashyyyk, Dxun…

Nar Shaddaa, the moon of the Hutt home world, Nal Hutta, does not seem to fit with the others. Nar Shaddaa is notorious for its crime, a haven for thugs, bounty hunters, and smugglers. Why would Revan choose such a place to hide something so valuable? How could it possibly be safe there?

Dantooine made sense. It was the place Revan was trained to be a Jedi, the location of the enclave where he was a padawan. Dantooine was important to Revan.

Jeyna realizes Kashyyyk was equally important to Jolee Bindo. But then who would Dxun have been important to?

She mentally reviews the list of Revan’s associates before landing on the Mandalorian, Canderous Ordo. Dxun was a critical base of the Mandalorians during the war. After helping Revan, Ordo had claimed the title of Mandalore and rebuilt his people’s home on the moon.

But that still didn’t explain which one of Revan’s allies would be tied to Nar Shaddaa. Frustrated, Jeyna thinks again about the list of people running through her brain, expanding it to include any acquaintances. She lands on Meetra Surik, the exiled Jedi who had fought with Revan in the war. She grabs for her datapad, researching more on the female exile.

Jeyna could laugh with joy when she makes the discovery. Meetra Surik had not only spent time on Nar Shaddaa…there are ample records of her, and several of her apprentices, on the moon.

She types what she has found onto the datapad in a hurry, thrilled to have finally solved the puzzle. Then, she resumes researching the region mentioned in the records, pausing only to order dinner.

**Late**

She’s been asleep for hours, when she dreams that the door to her quarters opens. She hears the mechanical lock re-engage as it slides shut, but no footsteps meet her ears. Sleep tries to reclaim her more heavily, but Jeyna feels the weight of him join her in bed.

He pulls her to him, his arm locking her tightly against his chest. A sleepy, contented moan leaves her at the feeling of his warm body against her back.

“Don’t tempt me,” he warns lowly, before she feels him press a kiss into her hair. “Go back to sleep.”

The black void that rises is sweet and warm, and she sinks into it.

**Morning**

Kylo is gone when she wakes up, and she almost wonders if his appearance was a dream. But then she rolls over in the sheets, and catches the faint scent of him. It is heady to her sleepy mind, lulling her back into dozing fantasies that she has to drag herself away from.

The comm panel near the door buzzes, jerking her fully into reality. Jeyna dresses clumsily before approaching the door to find Aleck waiting in the hall.

“Good morning, Miss Torre. May I come in?” he asks politely.

She nods, stepping back to allow him entrance. “Good morning,” she adds as an afterthought, her brain still running slowly.

He sits a large bag down on the table, unzipping it to reveal what looks to be clothes. “I was told to prep you for the upcoming mission.”

“Mission?” she repeats, confused.

Aleck smiles. “Ah. You haven’t been told yet?”

“…No…” Jeyna sits at the table, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She pulls a garment at random from the bag, raising her eyebrows at the very fitted jacket. “What is all this?”

“You and the Commander will need to be undercover when you travel to Nar Shaddaa. The moon is far removed from the reach of the First Order, or the Resistance,” he explains.

“Undercover as what?” She doesn’t hide her disdain at the women’s top, as she drags it away from where it’s hooked onto a utility belt. It’s clearly meant to be showy. She drops it to dig deeper into the tangled mess of clothes, searching for something more modest.

“Smugglers. We’ve obtained a small freighter with a docking code that won’t track back to the First Order. You are to get in, find what you need, and get out. I’ll stay on the ship as backup. The smaller the party, the better. Large groups will attract too much attention,” Aleck explains.

“You don’t think Kylo Ren will attract too much attention?” Jeyna asks before she can stop herself. “He’s huge, dresses in all black, and carries a lightsaber that sounds like it might explode any second.”

“I don’t think he’ll be waving the lightsaber around when you arrive on the smuggler’s moon,” Aleck says, a touch of humor coloring his tone. “It can be a dangerous place. He’s asked me to train you properly with a blaster.”

She nods, wondering if she can persuade him to stop for caffa before they begin, when the comm panel buzzes for a second time that morning.

Jeyna turns to the door, intrigued. Aleck motions for her to let him answer it.

She is mildly surprised to hear Hux’s voice on the other side. “I need to speak with her.”

“You have no business with her,” Aleck states, voice cold and devoid of any respect, despite the other man’s rank. Jeyna doesn’t miss the way his hand drifts to his blaster.

“This might benefit her. You should at least allow her to hear me out,” Hux argues. “We both know I’m not the type to get my hands dirty. If I still wanted her dead, I wouldn’t be the one standing here.”

Jeyna suppresses the hatred she’s cultivated for the man long enough to acknowledge she’s at least interested in what he is up to. She walks nearer the door, admitting, “He does seem kind of prissy. I doubt he could do much on his own.”

Aleck shoots her a glare that suggests he dislikes the idea. “The Commander won’t like this.”

“The Commander doesn’t need to know everything. And I’ve taken the liberty of arranging a few… _issues_ , that will demand his attention while we speak.” Hux leans around Aleck’s body, still blocking the doorway, to give her a sly look. “Can I come in?”

She waves him forward, to the chagrin of her bodyguard. He lets the officer in, but draws his blaster menacingly. Hux surveys the weapon before rolling his eyes.

“Pet. How have you been?” he greets Jeyna.

Aleck gives a noise of irritation. “Cut to the chase.”

“Very well,” Hux begins. “I know we got off to a rough start, you and I.”

“You tried to have me burned to death,” she says flatly.

“I would apologize, but I’m not sorry. However I will admit, it was nothing towards you. I simply needed your body disposed of to ensure Ren’s failure,” he explains nonchalantly.

Jeyna finds herself flashing back to her vision from the tomb, the effortless way the knife had slid into the vision of Hux, as she fights back annoyance at his attitude. “Why do you want Ren to fail so badly?”

Hux splutters as if the answer is obvious. “If you haven’t noticed, he enjoys choking me and flinging me into things…But less personally? He is a child. Petulant, irresponsible. He shouldn’t be in charge of himself, let alone the might of the First Order.”

“And you think you’d be better suited?” she asks, sarcasm weighing her words down.

He waves a hand dismissively. “That is besides the point. I have realized, I am approaching the situation entirely wrong. You are not my enemy. In fact, we may even be allies.”

She doesn’t stop her eyebrows from rising high in surprise and doubt at his statement. He seems unperturbed by her reaction. He continues, “I can’t imagine you enjoy being the object of his affections. Confined to this ship as his concubine… I’m sure that wasn’t your dream for life?”

She says nothing, narrowing her eyes, even as her mind is spinning to get ahead of him. What angle is he trying to come from?

“I do not need to kill you to stop Ren,” Hux insists, twisting his mouth in what he must assume is a smile. “Don’t you see? I can get you away from him. Away from the First Order. You can pick any planet that you want, I will arrange a new identity and enough credits to get you started.”

“An offer from him cannot be trusted, Miss Torre,” Aleck interjects, blaster still held ready. Hux shoots a calculating glance at him.

“I can extend the same offer to you,” he says. “In exchange for your silence and cooperation. A true second chance, for a failed agent.”

Aleck’s face reveals no reaction, and Hux tenses before shifting his focus back to Jeyna. “You know the Supreme Leader rules Ren. He will find out about Ren’s attachment to you, sooner or later, and force Ren to kill you. I’ve seen the control he has over his apprentice. You won’t stand a chance.”

Jeyna’s composure falters, even as she refuses to acknowledge to Hux that he is correct in at least one thing. But she knows she can’t trust him to live up to his offer. He’d more likely have her killed as soon as she attempted to leave, rather than waste resources actually following through on his word. “I don’t think I’m interested, thank you,” she bites out.

Hux’s pale gaze surveys her, before he sighs. “I’m offering you escape. A life. I hope you will think on that.”

He comes closer to her, ignoring the way Aleck’s blaster twitches higher in response. She meets his blue eyes with her own, infusing as much anger into them as she can. “I keep my word. If you decide you want out, I will get you out.”

He holds out a commlink, smaller and different than any she’s seen before. She stares at it for a moment before taking it. “It’s a direct line. Please consider my offer.”

Hux’s eyes linger on hers for another minute, before he throws a slight nod in Aleck’s direction. Then he paces briskly to the door, slipping out into the hallway.

“Miss Torre?”

Jeyna ignores Aleck’s questioning tone, staring at the commlink. For a moment, she wishes Hux’s offer was real. Escaping the First Order would make her life infinitely safer, if she could bring herself to walk away from Ren. But she knows it is more than likely a trap, a way to bait her into walking into her own demise.

She throws the commlink onto the floor, before bringing her foot down hard onto it. It cracks underfoot, the sound strangely satisfying. She can understand why Ren humors his temper occasionally. Seeing the broken thing beneath her relieves her inner turmoil, if only for a moment.


	18. Ch. 18

The next day passes in a rush, as Aleck attempts to teach Jeyna the basics of using weapons and self-defense. While he is a generously patient teacher, she finds herself lacking in the reflexes and coordination to be truly good at what he is imparting. Still, she manages to grasp a few pointers and improve her aim with the blaster.

She is exhausted by the evening, and collapses gratefully into bed after a hot shower. It’s been almost two days since she’s heard from Kylo, and she is anxious to hear about the state of their trip to Nar Shaddaa. From what she’s read, the moon is entirely covered in urban sprawl. And it serves as a trading post for things illegal just about anywhere else in the galaxy.

Jeyna drifts into a restless sleep, and the nightmares start up soon after. They start the same, the generic memory playing out as it has for years in her unconscious mind. The bombs, the smoke, the fire.

But then, something changes.

There is a flash of green, and a feeling of betrayal saturates the dream, though the source isn’t clear. The structure she is in collapses, but somehow it is not her childhood home. It feels different, even as the images are too vague to see for sure. She knows, somehow, that her mother is not there. The memory is different, there is someone else buried beneath the rubble.

She awakens, tears saturating her hair and the pillow beneath her face. Her chest physically hurts at the emotions the dream stirred up, even as she doesn’t understand where they came from.

Her breathing slows, tears stopping as suddenly as they’d started, and she recognizes the presence in her mind.

“Kylo?” she asks.

The room is silent and dark with the lack of response. But she feels it as he shrinks away from her thoughts, withdrawing.

**The Hangar Bay**

The following morning, Jeyna is told they will be leaving for Nar Shaddaa. She is escorted down to their ship by Aleck, wearing a getup that presumably is supposed to make her look like a smuggler. The clothes fit tighter than she’d like, but she must admit they present a nice break from the First Order standard issue apparel.

The ship is a very small freighter, a bit beat up looking. She boards, and while they wait Aleck secures another tracker bracelet to her wrist, tucking it up under the sleeve of her jacket.

“I don’t plan on running off,” Jeyna says, skeptically surveying the device.

“The Commander is insisting,” Aleck replies, unwavering. “If you become separated, his powers won’t be as useful for finding you on Nar Shaddaa. The moon’s energy is said to interfere with force sensitivity.”

“You mean it will block him?” She finds herself intrigued at the thought from an academic standpoint. What about the place would contribute to such an effect?

Aleck shakes his head slightly. “Truthfully, I do not know. I believe it muddles the waters, so to speak. You would have to ask him to explain more.”

Jeyna accepts his answer, taking a seat to wait for Ren to arrive. She fidgets, attempting to work through her nerves. Aleck seems to be watching her from his own seat, though he appears much more calm than she.

“It will be alright, Miss Torre,” he tries at soothing her. She nods halfheartedly.

She hears the loading ramp receding a moment before the mechanical noise of the door closing, the only sign that Ren’s boarded the ship. She turns in time to catch sight of him come around the corner, headed towards the cockpit.

Her mouth falls open at his appearance.

Of course, she’d known they were supposed to be undercover. On some level she’d been expecting him to abandon the all black combat suit and cloak. But she wasn’t expecting the brown leather pilot’s jacket, or how he wore a blaster slung low on his hip. The way his shirt clings to his body draws her attention and she immediately averts her gaze, a blush burning its way towards her ears. His face has almost completely healed, a faint mark the only trace of the burn that so recently crossed it. 

If he’s noticed her gawking, he doesn’t acknowledge it, ignoring her to stride towards the ship’s controls. He disappears into the cockpit, and she pulls her datapad out as a poor attempt to distract herself.

Her mind is tempted to think about what Ren would have been like had he not joined the First Order. Would he have been a Jedi? Were there even any Jedi left, to train him? She pushes away the thought, remembering his disdain towards Jedi. Perhaps he’d always been inclined towards the dark side of the force.

**Nar Shaddaa**

The ship has barely set down in a docking bay near the Industrial Sector of Nar Shaddaa when the dockmaster begins pounding on the door. Ren stomps towards the noise, looking irritated. He slams his hand on the control panel, allowing the Duros entry.

“What is your purpose on Nar Shaddaa?” The alien asks immediately. Jeyna has trouble understanding him, his accent hindering his fluency in Basic.

Ren leans against the wall of the ship, cocking his head to look down at him skeptically. “Does it matter?”

The Duros brushes it off. “You pay up front.”

“How much?”

“200 credits.” His red eyes look flat in the light of the ship’s interior, unblinking as he states his price.

Kylo scoffs. “That’s outrageous.”

“But a small part of the credits you will make here, yes?”

“You will be happy to take a hundred,” Ren says, voice loaded. Jeyna doesn’t miss the small pulse of energy behind the words, even as her understanding of it is weak.

The Duros is still for a moment, before he repeats, slowly, “I will be happy to take a hundred.” Ren waves for Aleck to pay him, and the alien departs the ship.

Jeyna watches him go as she pats the inside pocket of her jacket, making sure she can feel the commlink. It’s the only means she’ll have of reaching Aleck in case of emergency. Part of her wishes she could stay behind with him, in the safety the ship offers. The excessive reading she’d done on various gangs and organized crime syndicates of the moon had only served to inspire trepidation.

Ren gives her a glance, face unreadable. “Stay close to me, and you’ll be fine. Are you ready?”

She nods. They start down the ramp, but Jeyna is confused to see him falter the second his feet touch the gray ferrocrete platform. A flash of something like pain crosses his features, before he clenches his jaw.

“Are you okay?” she asks, concerned.

“I’m fine,” he says dismissively, but she notices when his hand rises, as if to reach for his head, before he stops himself. His brow is furrowed as he surveys the docks around them, half empty. The ships that are dispersed among the walkways are fairly dilapidated, a few looking like flying scrap heaps.

“It’s loud here,” he admits, and she frowns at the obvious tension in his voice. She knows he doesn’t mean literal noise, as on some very small level she can feel what he refers to. There is a chaotic web of energy, just outside of her grasp.

“Can you try to block it out?” she asks quietly.

“Let’s just make this fast,” he suggests, setting off at a quick pace. Jeyna keeps up with him, nervous as they leave the ship behind.

Nar Shaddaa itself is dreary, and Jeyna finds herself disliking it. The streets they emerge onto are dirty, cast in shadows from the buildings and walkways towering above them. There’s very little natural light, and there is a thick, permanent haze that hangs in the air. The artificial lights scatter off of it, and reflect from the puddles she dodges underfoot.

The area they are in is particularly worn down, and she hopes that Ren knows where he is going. The people they pass give a distinct feeling of being down on their luck, or otherwise appear to be the seedy criminal variety.

Jeyna shrinks behind Ren as they pass a group of men that look to be mercenaries, avoiding the leers they turn to throw back at her.

He’s leading her into the lower section of the Industrial Sector, to the remains of what used to be a refugee area. That’s what it had been when the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik had visited it thousands of years ago. Jeyna doesn’t know what they’re looking for exactly, but she’s hoping that there will be some clue left behind from the Exile as to where Revan hid the map.

Jeyna wonders if she should offer to look up the coordinates again, since the refugee sector has long since been converted into warehouses. But Ren doesn’t seem to need directions, navigating without hesitation.

“How do you know where we are going? Do you feel something?” she asks.

“I know my way around Nar Shaddaa,” he answers, and the clipped tone of his voice suggests she shouldn’t ask any further questions.

She can’t help but find his answer intriguing. Why would he have experience on the smuggler’s moon? The First Order never did establish rule there, nor was it a location that produced anything they needed in trade. In fact, she was quite certain the First Order avoided all of Hutt space entirely. So why would Kylo Ren be familiar with it?

**Later**

They search through the dark streets outside warehouses, Ren pausing occasionally as if deep in thought. Jeyna doesn’t ask what he is doing, even as he grits his teeth and seems painfully on edge. She wonders if he is trying to use the force, like how he had sensed the holocron on Kashyyyk.

If he is, it doesn’t seem to be working. Their time is spent unproductively, the dark streets and large, featureless storage buildings blending together into a gray blur. Until he jerks her to a stop outside a warehouse that looks much the same as all the others, the sign above the door so grime covered as to be unreadable. She searches his face questioningly at how tightly his hand grips her arm.

“There’s…an echo here,” he says uncertainly, eyes dark with frustration.

“In the Force?” Jeyna asks, confused. She tries to pick up on what he’s referring to, but all she can feel is a buzzing static. “Do you think it’s important?”

Kylo doesn’t answer, his face a taut mask that seems to be barely containing his discomfort. She flinches as he pulls his blaster suddenly, shooting the lock off the door from where they stand. He stalks forward, ripping open the large door and disappearing inside.

Jeyna, without much left in the way of options, follows him. Inside is a front room with a desk and computer system. There’s a second door behind the desk, which seems to open up to the massive interior. The warehouse is coated in dust, and dimly lit.

She can hear the clinking feet of a droid as it comes around the corner to pause behind the desk. It’s a basic protocol model, rusted and looking to be in bad disrepair.

“Greetings!” The droid says, before informing them, “You are trespassing on the property of Gleo Branic. Please leave, immediately.”

“We want access to the warehouse,” Ren demands, eyes revealing a simmering anger.

Jeyna knows she needs to intercede, that his anger is making him unreasonable. The droid is only programmed to understand certain queries and commands. His demand will not register properly with it. “Can we speak with Gleo Branic regarding access to his property?” she tries.

The droid’s frail head swivels to hers. “Permission from Master Branic is required for access to this property.”

“Can we meet with Master Branic to get permission?” she continues, ignoring the huff of impatience that exits Kylo.

“Master Branic is currently visiting the Lucky Runner.” The droid falters, a clanging noise coming from somewhere inside its chassis. Its head jerks before it fixates on them again. “Greetings! You are trespassing on the property of Gleo Br-”

Jeyna registers the snarling sound come from Ren before the arc of energy blasts the droid, flinging it backwards into the wall. It collapses in a heap of parts, smoke rising. Ren makes as if to round the desk and enter the warehouse, but the destruction of the droid must have triggered a security protocol.

She watches in shock as the heavy blast door slams shut, the mechanical noise of locks engaging audible even across the room. An alarm begins sounding, blaring into the empty space of the front room. Jeyna turns to survey Kylo, her mouth still hanging open at his sporadic outburst. He looks like he’s about to start smoking as much as the ruined droid, hands clenching into pale fists at his side.

“I don’t suppose you can blast through that door, too?” she asks hopefully.

He glares at her.

“Will your lightsaber cut through it?” she presses.

“I didn’t bring my lightsaber,” Ren snarls. “It’s back on the ship.”

She sighs. “Then I guess we’ll have to find Gleo Branic at the Lucky Runner.”


	19. Ch. 19

They leave the warehouses behind, rising higher from the core of the moon as they climb the walkways upwards. She doesn’t know if they are headed the right direction, but trusts Ren and assumes the entertainment district would be located farther up, in a newer level. The Lucky Runner sounds like a cantina or some other place people pay to get lost.

They don’t make it far, however, before Kylo retreats into a dark alley, his hands rising to press to his forehead. Jeyna hesitates, frowning, at the outward display of discomfort that is so unusual for him. She doesn’t know what to do, or how to help him.

“I hate this moon,” he spits out suddenly, and she fights the urge to reach for him as he winces.

“Can I help?” she asks uncertainly.

Kylo focuses his gaze on her, scrutinizing. She searches his eyes, hopeful there is some way she can calm him down. She is caught off guard by his lunging forward without warning. His hands reach out to cradle her head, tilting her face up as he stoops down to press his forehead against hers.

She closes her eyes at the sudden intimacy, breath catching. Light flares brightly behind her eyelids at the abrupt onslaught of his presence, forcing into her mind. The connection is back, she can feel him. He feels lost, drifting, unable to focus amidst the chaotic swirl that is Nar Shaddaa.

But that’s not all, is it? Before Jeyna can follow the thread of something else, something worming its way through his mind, she is swept back by his power. She cringes at the force of him, dominating her thoughts, but yields. She can feel his desperation as he clings onto her, both mentally and physically.

His hand has knotted itself firmly in her hair, keeping her in place. She tries to breathe through the intensity of the moment, to focus so she isn’t lost in the tidal pull of him. But he feels her longing the moment she does.

Kylo’s lips find hers, demanding as he steadies her against his body. She’s struggling to stay upright, her fingers digging into the leather that covers his shoulders. He lessens his grip of her mind, and she immediately feels more rooted in reality. It only serves to bring her attention to his tongue, teasing hers into a deeper kiss.

**_Please…_ **

The single thought drifts through her mind, and she has no idea if it came from her or him. His hands rip at her shirt, forcing up under the clothing to rove restlessly across her skin. The feeling immediately brings back the rush of lust she’d been suppressing, and her body ravenously demands more.

Kylo moves, biting her neck gently. She gasps at the familiar gesture of his claim to her body, and heat rushes through her. He returns to her mouth, nipping at her lip and making her heart race. His hands are searching, down her spine and over the fabric of her pants. The clothing blocking his touch frustrates her. She longs to be naked before him, nothing to stop his hands and mouth from taking all of her. And would he let her do the same? Would he let her stake a claim to the vast expanse of pale flesh underneath his clothes, let her cover him with her lips and tongue?

The noise that comes from Ren sounds almost pained as his presence surges stronger again in her brain. He staggers forward, shoving her backward until she’s against a wall. She throws her arms around his neck in a panic as he grabs her thighs and lifts her suddenly, resting her pelvis against his. Her legs wrap around him automatically, squeezing as he rocks against her. The motion sends a wave of pleasure through her, starting in her core but radiating everywhere.

When they kiss again, it devolves into a lustful clashing of tongues, teeth, and lips. Jeyna buries her fingers in his hair, pulling them through the soft locks. She’s gasping for breath between his kisses, as he rocks his hips into her again. It pulls a cry out of her, his name, broken with her euphoria.

He pulls away from her lips, his body stiffening with sudden tension. His head drops, face burying into the crook of her neck. “Not that name. Not here.”

He’s spoken so faintly, muffled against her skin, she barely makes out the words. His presence completely leaves her mind, and he slowly lowers her feet back to the ground. She’s struggling to get her bearings, and he seems to know it, his hands steadying her.

Jeyna searches his eyes in confusion, but they are somber and bare. She wants to say his name, to voice it like a question. But she hesitates. Something about her saying it had broken the moment between them, and she doesn’t understand.

“We can’t do this here,” he repeats softly. She nods, her wits finally returning fully. They are in a narrow alley, shoved between a cantina and a pazaak den. A blush creeps up her neck as she realizes how exposed they’d been, embarrassment tinging her cheeks.

He steps back, giving her space. “Let’s focus on finding the Lucky Runner.”

**Night on Nar Shaddaa**

The Lucky Runner turns out to be a sprawling casino, the shady type with bouncers lining the perimeter. They’re admitted without problem once Ren pays off the Gamorrean at the door, but where to begin their search for Gleo Branic is questionable.

They end up at the central bar, the handsome bartender giving Jeyna a slow, appraising look as he strolls over. “What will you be having, Miss?”

Ren scowls. “We’d like information, not drinks.”

“Information flows when drinks flow,” the bartender quips easily, before giving Jeyna a flirtatious wink. “Besides, she looks thirsty.”

The look the commander gives the man behind the bar is scathing, eyes quickly turning murderous with their intent. But still, the other man doesn’t waver, giving an easy smile.

For a moment, Jeyna can see Ren how this stranger must see him. Not knowing who he is, the skills he possesses, leaves Ren to appear like a young, hot tempered man. Something that is a dime a dozen in the galaxy. Even the fury that emanates from him isn’t anything impressive, if you don’t know the power that lurks beyond it. And judging by the way the bartender grins at the frustration he’s inflicting, he is completely unable to sense the unstable energy coming from Ren. He doesn’t understand what he is poking at for fun.

Jeyna’s mind flashes back to the protocol droid exploded into pieces in the warehouse before she opens her mouth to speak. “I’ll take a drink,” she concedes. “If you wouldn’t mind helping me out. I need to find someone.”

His grin widens in victory. “What do you prefer?”

She is surprised to see Ren clench his jaw, but say nothing, allowing her to take over. It gives her a strange rush of courage. “Juma juice,” she answers with a shrug. Jeyna isn’t much of a drinker, not liking the way it clouds her thinking.

He serves her quickly, and she takes a small sip of the stuff to be polite. He leans onto the bar, inclining his head closer to hers. “So, what brings you to the Lucky Runner?”

“I’m looking for Gleo Branic,” she replies, allowing a small, entirely fake smile. He doesn’t seem to notice that it is forced, creeping closer to her. She can see Ren’s shoulders tense from the corner of her eye, but he is fighting to control himself. “Would you happen to know of him?”

“I know everyone that comes around here,” he assures her, his hand sliding closer to hers where it rests around her glass.

“And how much will it cost for you to point us in the direction we can find him?” she persists.

“Do you really want to deal in something as bland as credits?”

Ren snaps. “Credits are the only thing she will be dealing in,” he growls.

“I’m sorry, is she yours?” The bartender asks, sarcasm coating his words. Jeyna’s heart pounds at the aggression she can feel, overflowing from Ren to pool into the base of her brain, the connection between them weak but still lingering from earlier. It sends adrenaline through her veins as she tries to resolve the conflict.

“Credits really are the only thing we can offer,” she says, angling her body in between the two men in a failed attempt to break their glaring. “But we would make it worth your while. There’s no need for this to escalate.”

“You should space your boyfriend. He’s got an anger problem.”

“You should take the offer of a nice payday, over getting in a needless fight,” she retorts. His eyes finally leave Ren’s, turning to hers. The flirtation is gone, replaced with a shrewdness that she finds easier to work with. “You tell us what we need to know, you walk away richer. It ends there,” she pushes, eager to convince him.

To her relief, it works. “300 credits.”

She jerks when Kylo slams the exorbitant amount onto the shiny surface of the bar, his arm looping her waist to pull her possessively back against his body. “Gleo Branic?” the request is spoken like a final ultimatum.

“You’ll find him at the sabacc table, all the way in the back. He’ll be the one half gone on spice, probably falling off his chair,” the bartender says, swiping the money from the counter. He gives a nod at Jeyna before snidely adding, “Good luck with him.”

Ren is already towing her away, weaving through the crowd of games and gamblers. The casino is large, but becomes more sparsely occupied the farther back they go. Jeyna realizes the back of the place must contain the high stakes games.

They enter a room that is flanked by guards, the sabacc table filling the space. Smoke hangs thickly in the air, rising from the cigarras most of the men playing hold. Jeyna’s eyes land on a man who looks half delirious, his skin a wasted, sickly gray.

Before they can approach, another man throws himself to his feet, the chair he’d been occupying toppling over behind him.

He rounds the table, hauling the sickly looking man to his feet by his shirt collar. “Branic, you lost! If you don’t cough up what you owe, I’m taking you outside and smashing your head into the kriffing ground!” He rants, irate.

The other men seem entertained by the display, some even laughing. They throw their cards in, the dealer gathering them up to straighten back into a neat deck.

“I told you, I don’t have the credits _right now_ -” Branic slurs.

“Why did you bet something you didn’t have!? You think you can rip me off?” the other man demands, face a furious shade of red. He looks close to violence.

“If I may interrupt,” Kylo says, loudly as he steps forward. “I’d gladly settle Branic’s debt with you, if you turn him over to me.” The men at the table turn their attention to Ren, looking even more interested in the turn of events.

Branic’s face shows panic as he looks at Ren. “Who’re you? Is there a bounty on me?”

The man holding him shoves him back by his shirt in disgust. “Does it matter?” he spits at him, before turning to consider Kylo. “You’ll pay me what he owes?”

“Yes.”

The man’s face looks considerably less red, as his anger seems to dissipate. He regards Ren skeptically. “He owes me almost a thousand.”

Ren pulls the money out, unflinching. “Then take it, and give me Branic.”

The gamblers seated at the table get wide eyes at the sight of the credits. Jeyna herself is stunned by the large sum. Did he come prepared to buy his way through Nar Shaddaa, or does the commander just keep ridiculous sums of money on him at all times? She reasons that he probably knew he’d have to bribe or pay his way though the moon, especially since he implied he was familiar with the place.

The man lets out a noise like a laugh, but darker, striding forward to practically throw Branic at Ren’s feet and snatch the money. “Gladly!” he retorts, counting the sum to ensure it is all there.

Ren pulls the broke gambler to his feet, and even with the help Branic staggers, inebriated by spice or juma or some mixture of the two. “I can pay you, I can get you money, you don’t have to turn me in,” he’s pleading, apparently mistaking him for a bounty hunter.

Ren ignores him, turning to pull him back towards the main doors of the casino. One of the gamblers at the table calls out, “Hey, come back if you want to play a round!” The others laugh in agreement.

Jeyna trails behind the pair, Ren’s tall form towering over the shrunken, poisoned body of Branic as he forces him forward. They pass the bar, and are almost to the exit when she hears the bartender let out a whistle.

She turns, seeing him give a flirtatious wave goodbye, eyes locked on her. She cringes when he is suddenly propelled backwards, twisting so that he collides with the wall of liquor bottles behind him horizontally. They are sent crashing to the ground with him behind the bar.

The patrons who are sober enough to have their wits about them startle, several giving surprised shouts. The guards go on alert, a few walking slowly towards the bar, eyes scanning for the source of the commotion. Jeyna whips her head away from the scene, picking up her pace to slip out of the doors, behind Ren and Branic.


	20. Ch. 20

“I can get you credits, however much my bounty is worth, I’ll get you the money, you don’t have to do this!” Branic hasn’t stopped pleading, his voice wavering between panicked coherence and slurred disbelief, the entire walk back to his warehouse.

Ren has largely ignored him, allowing the man to continue on with his begging, until they near their destination. When they stop in front of the warehouse, he gives the man a shove forward, marching him with one hand on his shoulder until he is forced through the open door to his building.

“I need into your warehouse. You make that happen, you live. You refuse me, you die,” he orders, stopping Branic in front of the large security door.

“That’s all you want? You’re not a bounty hunter?” Branic asks, sounding relieved.

“Open the door,” Kylo growls, pulling his blaster. He directs it at Branic’s head.

“Alright, alright!” the man panics, entering something into the security system.

The impossibly thick durasteel door slides open.

**Late in the Night**

Jeyna comes to a stop when Ren does, trailed by a quickly sobering Branic. They’ve found their way to the back of the warehouse, following whatever echo he had sensed in the force. At first Jeyna doesn’t see anything that catches her eyes, just more crates and junk piled high. But then she spots the droid.

It’s an HK model, and it looks ancient. It’s no wonder the thing is sitting, hunched over and nonfunctional. It appears to be severely outdated. But she also recognizes it from her studies of Revan. He’d owned a similar droid. Could it be a coincidence?

“That droid. What model is it?” she asks Branic. He squints in the low light, before shrugging.

“Some kind of creepy looking protocol, beats me.”

“We want it,” she decides, trusting her intuition. Ren raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t question her.

“It’ll cost you,” the warehouse owner insists.

Ren gives a noise of irritation. “It’s broken, and you already owe me a thousand credits.”

Branic winces, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well…yeah, I suppose I do owe you. It’ll cost you if you want it fixed up though.”

“Repair it. I want it working by morning,” Ren demands. Branic gives an uneasy grin.

“There’s the matter of compensation-”

“The compensation is I don’t kill you.” The angry glint has more than returned to Kylo’s eyes, and Jeyna swallows nervously.

“That threat won’t work for long-”

Branic barely has time to get his retort out before he’s grasping at his throat, eyes bulging as his air supply is suddenly cut off. Jeyna sends a pleading glance at Ren, mentally begging him to not blow his cover or hurt the man. He ignores it for a moment before his hand unclenches. Branic collapses to his knees, breathing loudly.

“When I return, I expect a working droid. And don’t even think about trying to run. I would hunt you down, no matter where you try to hide,” Ren threatens. Branic gives him a trembling nod from the floor.

**Residential Sector**

Jeyna isn't expecting it when Ren takes her to the residential sector for the remainder of the night, instead of back to the ship. It is a closer location to wait for Branic to repair the droid, and she’s relieved to not have to walk all the way back to the docks. But she assumes they’ll need to break into a vacant apartment to lay low until morning.

She is surprised, then, when he uses his jacket sleeve to wipe the dust off a security scanner at the door to a unit in an older building, before holding his palm up to it. It scans his print, before opening.

“Is this your apartment?” she asks curiously, following him in.

Kylo shakes his head, but doesn’t give an explanation. She looks around as the lights brighten, taking in the small layout. It looks like a bachelor pad, and though it is furnished, it’s clear no one has been there in years.

Ren nudges the remains of a broken cleaning droid, crumpled a few feet inside the door, with one of his boots. It looks to be scorched by blaster fire, probably intentionally destroyed.

“You can rest if you need to. I’ll wake you when it’s time,” he offers, stepping over the droid. “I take it Branic’s droid has a connection to Revan?”

“I think it’s the same model he had, an HK-47,” Jeyna replies, following him uncertainly a few steps farther into the dwelling. She feels awkward being in this person’s home, having no idea who it belongs to.

“HK? Hunter-Killer?” he clarifies.

“Yes,” she confirms, before giving in to the urge to press him further. “Whose apartment is this?”

Ren turns, finally meeting her curious gaze. His face is a mask, revealing no emotions, eyes guarded. “Someone I used to know.”

“Who? Why haven’t they been here in so long?” Jeyna can’t stop herself from voicing the questions, even as he clearly doesn’t want to answer. She knows almost nothing about him, or his past, and desperately wants to learn more. She can tell she is frustrating him, however, when she sees the muscles of his jaw tense, his lips pressing into a taut line.

“Does it matter? It’s in the past,” he replies.

“The past matters,” she argues uncertainly. His eyes turn antagonistic, drilling into hers as he takes a step back towards the door, closer to where she lingers.

“The past only matters to you, because you use it as a shield. You wrap yourself in it, insulating from the need to go forward,” Kylo says, tone acidic. “You’ve avoided connections and meaning by clinging onto the past, trapping yourself in it.”

His words take her breath away with how cruelly he intends them. She blinks, refusing to allow the stinging of her eyes to develop into tears. She has clearly hit a nerve, to make him strike out at her in such a personal way.

“Maybe you’re right. But how is that any worse than what you did earlier?” she shoots back, feeling her own temper flare.

“Earlier?” he repeats, eyes narrowing dangerously. “I was attempting to focus on you, to center myself. The moon’s energy is overwhelming.”

“You used the connection with me to block something out. I felt it, before you pushed me back,” Jeyna insists.

His eyes show his surprise, anger faltering. “You shouldn’t have felt that.”

“You forced your way into my head. I’m pretty sure the connection goes both ways,” she says uncertainly, her own anger dying faster than she’d like. She’s left feeling exposed, vulnerable after his judgmental observations.

“Perhaps I should sever it then,” he says softly.

“Perhaps you should,” she agrees, even as the thought terrifies her. To be suddenly cut off from him, after a lifetime of never feeling anything so intense, would break her. “I am a weakness, after all,” she adds, meaning her words to sound spiteful. But instead they come out doubtful.

His eyes search hers as he approaches her, and though the anger has diminished she can’t read what emotion has taken over him. She retreats a step, nearly back at the front door, and he immediately stops. “Kylo…”

He visibly flinches at the sound of his name, before speaking, tone gentler. “What has the past given you? Has learning of your connection to Revan, finding these clues he’s left…has it changed anything? Are you any less an orphan? Do you feel any less lost?”

The tears threaten again, even as she tries to fight against them. A genuine expression appears on his face, his mouth curving downward into a frown, eyes remorseful. She looks away.

“It doesn’t matter who you were. It doesn’t matter who I was,” Kylo insists, taking a small step forward. When she doesn’t recoil from him, he reaches out to hold her chin, tilting her face back up to his.

She wants to be petulant. To look away, refuse to acknowledge what he’s said. But his eyes hold her as they always seem to, unbreakable magnetism.

“Isn’t this enough?” he asks, and she feels his presence brush at her mind. She reaches out, tentative in her lack of understanding of the force. She feels the turbulence that’s rocking him, his desire to hold onto her as a steady point.

Jeyna can’t help the defiance as she whispers back, “No.” She wants more, all of him, his past included. She’s expecting his anger to surge again, but it doesn’t. He sighs, drifting closer to her. His eyes look warm, surrendering, before he drops his head to nuzzle into her hair.

Her heart beats faster automatically, shivers racing up her spine in response to his breath stirring her strands. His hand moves, fingertips slowly tracing from her clavicle up her neck and back down.

“What am I going to do with you…?” he asks, tone rough enough to send goosebumps erupting across her flesh.

She eases her hands underneath his jacket, daring to run her palms slowly up his shirt from his stomach to his chest. His muscles tense under her before he relaxes, pressing forward against her until she’s trapped between his tall body and the door. She feels emboldened, standing on her toes to reach his ear, kissing and nibbling on his earlobe. He hisses in air, letting it out in a rush as she kisses her way down along his angular jawline.

She’s stopped when he pulls back, his hand wrapping gently around her throat as if to restrain her, though his grip is far too light to be truly effective. He leans down, pressing his mouth to hers in a soft, lingering kiss.

Her eyes open when Kylo’s lips drift away to tell her, “I saw everything you imagined, you know.”

Jeyna feels the flush rise in her cheeks, burning, as she licks the taste of him off her lips. “I felt how your body responded,” he continues, honey eyes searching hers. Excitement surges in her, lingering in the frantic pace of her blood rushing through her veins. “You’re already mine.”

A pulse of pleasure makes her gasp lightly at his declaration, and she feels like she’s vibrating, on edge, waiting for more. But he steps back, dropping his hold of her. She feels a twinge of disappointment at the sudden distance.

He smirks, and she is stunned by the expression, as close to a true smile as she’s seen from him. For a moment, he’s transformed. From the teasing, cocky look on his face, to his mussed up hair, to his smuggler’s clothes, he looks like someone else. Nothing about him resembles the masked intimidation she’d first known as Kylo Ren.

But then his head cocks slightly to the side, as if he’s heard a noise beyond her ability to detect. The look falls from his face as quickly as it had appeared. It’s chased by shock, which quickly transforms into anger.

“They’re here,” Kylo says.

“Who?” Jeyna asks, alarmed.

“The Rebels.” His voice is hard with contempt. “She’s going after the droid.”

**Approaching the Docks**

Ren had called for Aleck on the commlink, having the older man intercept them on route to the warehouse. Jeyna was sent with the former operative, to return to the safety of the ship and depart the planet. Ren had snatched his lightsaber from Aleck, barely bothering to conceal it within his jacket before taking off in the direction of Branic’s storage facility.

She hopes the Resistance will get out of his way, knowing the confrontation will end badly. Her head is spinning with questions as she follows Aleck on a fast trip back to the docks. How had the Resistance known about the droid? How had they known to come to Nar Shaddaa?

Her mind jumps to Hux, suspecting he might be responsible. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d leaked information to try to interfere with Ren’s mission.

They’re nearly back to the ship when Jeyna hears the sound. She startles at the angry scream of the engines overhead, jerking to look up at the sky above. The infamous silhouettes of TIE fighters fill what little open sky she can make out, and interspersed she can see a few ships she’s less familiar with. She thinks they might be old Republic X-wings.

They appear to be in battle above Nar Shaddaa, both forces ignoring the implied sovereignty of the Hutt moon.

“Come, Jeyna!” Aleck calls, urging her to join him in breaking into a sprint. They run the rest of the way to the docks, darting along the platforms until they arrive back at the ship. Its engines are already running, primed to take off.

Jeyna follows him up the ramp, but freezes before she can enter the main hold. Something holds her feet in place, refusing to let her take the last few steps to board. She looks back out at the docks, searching as if she can find the source of whatever roots her to the spot. The chaotic noise of aerial warfare roars and booms above.

Aleck grabs her, dragging her into the ship. His grip on her arm pulls the tracking bracelet off, and she watches it clatter onto the metal scaffolding of the dock before he closes the hatch to the outside. She staggers when the ship immediately lifts off. Aleck tries to steady her, but she pulls away from him as her suspicion flares harshly.

“Who’s piloting the ship?” she demands, grabbing hold of a seat to both pull her body farther from him, and hang on during their rapid ascent.

His face is calm, pacifying as he surveys her, gripping onto a handrail as they are jarred about. “It will be alright, Miss Torre.”

The truth hits her at the same time she feels the wall of rage slam into her. It’s not her anger, but it's suffocating, and she struggles to breathe under the weight of Kylo’s fury. She’s left shaking, dropping down onto the seat to stare in shock at Aleck. “You’re Resistance.”


	21. Ch. 21

Aleck says nothing, doesn’t bother to confirm or deny her accusation. It’s all the admittance she needs. Her hands tremble with the adrenaline her body releases, veins pounding with anger she can’t begin to harness.

The ship’s flight becomes smoother as they exit Nar Shaddaa’s atmosphere, leaving the battle behind, and she forces shaky breaths to fill her chest. “He knows,” Jeyna says. “He knows you’ve taken me.”

“Yes,” Aleck agrees, inclining his head once. The small, cautious smile finds its way to his face. “But by the time he is away from the moon’s effects on him, we will be long gone. He won’t be able to sense your location.”

The words cause anguish to grip her lungs, the thought of being so far away from Ren causing actual pain to worm inside her chest. “You lied,” she gasps. “You betrayed me.” She doesn’t know if they are her words, or Kylo’s, but the feeling is there, echoes of his anger and despair clinging tightly to her nerves.

The small smile falls from Aleck’s face. “Ren trusted me because he sensed my intent was to protect you. That was not a lie,” he insists. He attempts to come closer to her, but she staggers to her feet to move away from him. He holds his hands up in a calming gesture. “You are safe now, Miss Torre. Away from Ren.”

She’s shaking her head in small, mechanical movements, trying to deny his words. If she is safe now, then why does this hurt?

“Did he tell you the Supreme Leader ordered your death? As soon as the mission was complete,” Aleck persists, his tone gentle. “I know you feel something for him, but you must see you were not safe with him.”

Tears fight their way free of her lashes as she realizes he’s right. Logically, she is safer now than she was with Ren. But she had trusted him. Even as she knew her death was desired by his master, she had felt certain she could trust Kylo. Was she just foolish? Shouldn’t she be happier, to not be in that situation anymore? She’d always followed reason over emotion, but never had the two warred so strongly within her as this moment.

Her breathing is ragged, her face already covered in the wet, salty tracks of her crying. She tries to calm herself as the ship jumps to hyperspace, and she feels it as Ren’s rage quickly becomes distant, receding. She’s overcome with the need to know where they are taking her, feet carrying her towards the cockpit before she can register that she’s decided to move.

Aleck moves to block her, putting himself firmly in front of her. “You can’t go in there, Miss Torre.”

She searches his face in frustration. “I want to know where you’re taking me. I deserve to know what’s happening to me!” The helplessness of the last several weeks of her life compounds, and she rants. “It’s my life, I’m tired of people deciding where I go and what I do!”

The older man frowns, but doesn’t budge. “I am sorry, but you cannot see the navigation charts. Ren’s connection to your mind is too strong. He will know our destination if you see any clues.”

Her irritation falters as she wonders if the urge to see the cockpit had come from her, or Kylo. Could he do something like that?

“So what now…” she whispers, dejected. “I go from being a prisoner of the First Order, to being a prisoner of the Resistance?”

“Of course not,” Aleck says. “You are not a prisoner. We will keep you safe, and ensure Ren can’t use you to find whatever the Sith Lord Revan left behind.”

Jeyna understands, suddenly. “That’s what this is really about, then. Keeping the First Order from gaining an edge over you, whatever that might be.” Her voice comes out defeated, bitter.

He shakes his head, eyes sad. “An action can have more than one purpose, Miss Torre.”

She twists her mouth in a rueful mockery of a smile, not believing him. The Rebels wouldn’t have bothered with saving her if she didn’t hold the key to keeping something powerful from the Supreme Leader. She feels like she’s become a pawn in their game, nothing more.

**Later**

Despite Aleck’s insistence she is not a prisoner, Jeyna finds herself locked into one of the small dormitories. She is sleepy, her eyes dry and sore from crying, her mind drifting towards the haziness that accompanies tiredness. It’s been over twenty four hours since she’s last slept, but she is too worked up to relax.

How had Ren not discovered Aleck was a double agent? Was the operative really that good at covering his mind, hiding his true purpose? Or had Ren neglected to look further into the man’s mind?

Furthermore, shouldn’t she feel something more like relief than the current agitation? She is away from the threat of Hux and Snoke. But could she trust the Resistance any more than she could trust the First Order? What is to stop them from coming to the same conclusion as Hux, that the best way to stop Ren from completing his mission is to kill her?

Jeyna paces, rubbing her temples. Her head hurts, but it is not a typical headache. It feels like the air is pressing down onto her skull, pressure building all around her brain.

She pauses when she hears the lock creak back, turning to see the door to the dormitory open a crack. The man’s face that appears is not Aleck’s, and she furrows her brow in confusion. He’s dark haired, handsome. He smiles brightly when he sees her, but the grin immediately vanishes when she scowls in return. She feels awful, and it makes her resentful of the stranger.

He cracks the door open a little more, showing her the food he’s brought. “Aleck said to let you rest, but I figured you’d still be up. You hungry?”

Her stomach does give a slight growl, and she realizes it has been a while since she’s eaten. She shrugs, retreating to sit on one of the bunks. He tentatively eases himself the rest of the way into the dorm, walking forward to put the food onto the little table.

She surveys him, noticing he’s dressed like a pilot, and somehow has the attitude to match. He does the same to her, looking over her with something akin to curiosity in his eyes. She pulls the jacket closed over her chest, remembering the clinging material of the smuggler clothes she’s wearing. “Who are you?” she asks finally, hoping to break the tension.

He gives her a regretful look. “I’d rather not say,” he admits. “Since I’m about to play the galaxy’s most dangerous game of keep-away with Kylo Ren’s girl.”

Jeyna doesn’t hide it as her face falls at his secrecy, looking away from him. She sees him shift uncomfortably out of the corner of her eye. “Hey, can I get you anything?” he asks. “Something to read, while you’re stuck in here? Maybe some blankets?” She looks at the cot at the same time he does, it is bare. She sighs.

“How long am I going to be kept locked in here?” she asks.

He picks up a chair from where it was laying, on its side, by the table. He drags it, stopping a few feet away from her to leave a small space between them. He plops down onto it, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “It depends. We need to find out how to weaken or block the connection he’s got with you. Until then, you can’t know where you are.”

She frowns. “There’s only so many places you could hide me,” she reasons. “Backwater planets far from First Order territory, would be my guess. You’re not going to take me to one of your strongholds. That would be a bad idea.”

The man grimaces at her in response. “Aleck said you’re smart. That might be to your disadvantage right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“For your own sake, you need to not figure it out,” he insists. His eyebrows raise when he sees the frown deepen across her face. “You can’t want to go back to him?” he asks, doubt filling his voice.

Jeyna looks away from him, not wanting him to see that her eyes are welling with tears. He’s with the Resistance, he probably hates Kylo Ren or thinks he’s a monster. He won’t understand her reluctance, or worse, he’ll think she’s pathetic.

“Hey…” the pilot says softly, uncertainly. She attempts to give him a glare.

“You won’t understand,” she snaps.

“Maybe not,” he agrees. “I’m a pretty simple guy. I fly ships and blow stuff up. But all I’m saying, is… You have to do what’s best for you. Even if it’s hard.”

She hisses a breath in at his words, trying to harden her eyes unsuccessfully. “And what if I don’t think joining the Resistance is what’s best for me? What if I want to be free of all of this, and tell all of you to go space yourselves?” She knows as the words leave her, that she doesn’t mean them. How could she walk away from this tangled mess?

He smiles as if trying to be reassuring. “Then let’s get you to the point where you can do that. You don’t have to join us. But right now, you should work with us. Let us help you.”

She avoids looking at him for long, still torn. The logic of his argument is infallible, but she can’t suppress the part of her that is screaming at the threat of losing Ren, forever. She clenches her fists, nails biting into the palms of her hands. His smile fades, and she sees pity fill his eyes. It only makes the tears that have been pooling fall once more, and she harshly brushes them off her cheeks, mad at herself for the emotions she wishes would go away.

“Look, I…” he begins, before stopping. He shifts in his seat, eyes leaving hers to scan across the bare room.

“You don’t have to try to make it better,” she whispers, wishing he’d just leave her alone.

“It’s not that… I just have to say this,” he says, seeming to decide something. His gaze returns to hers, serious. “You know that Kylo Ren can put thoughts into other people’s heads, right? Like mind tricks?”

Jeyna furrows her brow, confused at where he is going with his question. “I guess. Why?”

The pilot looks torn before he forces out, “How do you know that your feelings for him came from you? How do you know he didn’t put them there?”

She recoils as if he’s physically slapped her. Horror creeps in, sending goosebumps erupting across her skin as she suddenly doubts herself. She suddenly doubts everything that has happened with Ren.

But no, that’s not possible, is it? He wouldn’t do that to her, would he?

Her mind is spinning at the man’s suggestion, and she feels nauseous. Her fingers dig into the thin mattress of the cot, trying to right herself as she feels like the world is tilting. She tries to hang onto the truth. But how can she know for sure what the truth is? How does she know if she can trust her feelings?

Jeyna feels like she might be sick, curling in on herself, shrinking back from the man sitting in front of her. She pushes her hands over her eyes, ignoring as he attempts to calm her.

“I’m sorry, kriff, I shouldn’t have said that,” he rambles, reaching as if to touch her, to console her, before he drops his hand. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I’m sorry-”

She’s barely registering his words. The intensity of her attraction to Ren is like nothing she’s ever experienced before. She knows it is extreme, all consuming. But he’d tried to distance himself at first, hadn’t he? She’d been so curious about him, she’d thought he was beautiful at first glance… Surely the pilot is wrong?

But what if he isn’t? What if this has all been a ploy, a manipulation? And she has been too naïve, too desperate for attention and affection, buying into the lust that fogged her sanity? Has she been a fool, all along?

The pressure in her head grows worse, and she realizes she’s collapsed onto the cot. The pilot is hovering over her, looking distressed. She turns from him, hiding her face and trying to fight the sobs that want to wrack her body.

“Get out,” she gasps. He doesn’t move. “Please, get out…” Her plea is a whimper, and he finally moves. He apologizes one more time before she hears the door shut, the lock clicking securely into place.

Jeyna lets herself cry for a few moments, before she can’t resist the pain in her head anymore. She gives in, reaching out in the force. She wants to feel his presence, the way she had before. But she isn’t trained, she has no idea what she’s doing. And she’s weak, it feels like bumbling about in a void. There is nothing there, she can’t sense him in her mind.

“Kylo…” she whispers his name like a prayer, fighting back sobs. She doesn’t want to be this way, weak with doubt, overcome with emotion.

She wants to trust herself, to trust that the feelings for him are real. She wishes she could be strong and do what is best for herself despite the longing. But she is still grasping, reaching into the great expanse between them, and coming up empty.

**Much Later**

Jeyna’s in a half awake, half asleep state, fighting unconsciousness but losing the battle. She hears the door open, feels someone drape blankets over her. She stays still, hoping they’ll assume she’s asleep. It must work, they leave.

She is still curled up on the cot, having settled herself down but still feeling just as confused and upset. The blankets warm her gradually, and eventually sleep tugs more persistently on her. The more she gives in to its lure, the more the pressure in her head abates. As she finally falls into the dark grasp of sleep, the pain is gone. Her mind feels free.

Jeyna dreams he’s with her, his arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her back against him. The heat his body gives off seems so real, her back pressing against the solidness of his chest. Sleep dulls her defenses, and she doesn’t bother to fight against the relief of his touch as his hands settle on her body.

 ** _I’m coming for you._ **Joy fills her at the sound of his voice, determined and very real.

“I don’t know where I am.” She dreams she answers him, but the words don’t want to leave her mouth, even as she thinks them.

 ** _That won’t stop me for long._ **She shivers at the ghost of his lips on her neck, before they abandon her and his voice turns quietly furious. **_I’ll kill anyone who gets in my way._**

Her heart pounds at the threat, promised directly into her ear, before her mind deliriously tries to drag her into consciousness. She startles, the dark dormitory greeting her eyes. She’s alone. But she can feel it, making itself known. The barest trace of his presence. He’s holding on to her mind.


	22. Ch. 22

Jeyna sleeps for a long time before he speaks to her again. His voice eases her mind to awareness, even as she lingers in unconsciousness.

**_Do you feel that?_ **

She tries to focus, to understand what he is referring to. But she doesn’t detect anything, and sleep is addling her ability to use her senses.

**_…Focus…_ **

Her hand reaches out, finding the metal wall of the ship. It’s cold beneath her fingers, but there is something else. A vibration that is missing where it had previously been.

**_The engines have stopped. You’ve landed._ **

Her eyes snap open, finally fully awake, and she is startled to find herself standing. Her hand still rests against the wall, and she drops it immediately. Had she been sleepwalking? Had he somehow caused it to happen? Jeyna’s alarmed as she regains her grip on reality, surveying the dorm to see the blankets she’d been wrapped in are trailing off the cot, onto the ground.

“Kylo?” she asks aloud. There is no response.

Her stomach cramps painfully with hunger, and she can ignore it no longer. She spots the food the pilot had dropped off, and though it is basic ship rations, it spurs her on. She forces it down, before drinking the water he left with it.

Jeyna immediately feels better, less dizzy and more level headed. She glances down at her wrinkled clothing, and thinks longingly of the bag of clothes they’d brought on board for the mission. Was it still out there? Would they let her get something clean before she went in the refresher?

She strides forward, banging loudly on the dormitory door. There is no answer. She waits for a minute, then two, before raising her hand again. Before she can slam it onto the door with impatience, she hears the lock release.

“Miss Torre,” Aleck greets her, swinging the door open. “I’m glad to see you look much better.”

She nods, admitting to herself that she is at least more settled feeling. She still isn’t sure how she feels towards Aleck in light of his deception, even if it was intended to assist her. But she brushes aside the uncertainty for the moment. “I was hoping to get some clean clothes.”

“Of course,” he concedes. “But I was hoping you might consider talking to someone, first.”

“Who?” she asks, curious. If Ren is right about the ship having landed, who could have boarded already?

Aleck gives his small smile at her eager response. “General Leia Organa.”

Jeyna feels taken aback by the title, recognizing it. Leia Organa had been a princess, of Alderaan, before it was destroyed. She’d stepped down in favor of becoming one of the leaders of the Alliance. She was one of the most famous women in the galaxy, known for her grace and determination.

While Jeyna had avoided a lot of the propaganda surrounding the opposing forces, she’d read considerably on General Organa, finding the woman to be impressive.

She’s filled with nervousness at the thought of meeting her, face to face. Aleck seems to sense it. “I assure you, the meeting is informal. She wishes to talk to you about a personal matter.”

That only serves to stun her further, as she wonders what personal matter such an individual could have with her. She nods, words evading her, and follows Aleck down the narrow passage towards the main hold. There, she’s met with the sight of the General. She looks regal, her hair swept up in an elegant design. She’s speaking with the pilot, but he pauses when he catches sight of Jeyna.

Leia Organa turns, and scrutinizes her. She feels a blush creeping into her cheeks at the careful way she is scanning her, eyes seeming to search for something.

Jeyna swallows heavily, wishing she’d thought to straighten her appearance. The other woman finally smiles, a small, nervous gesture. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jeyna,” she says, sweeping forward and reaching for her hand.

Jeyna gives it, unsure what to do. She’s taken aback when the General takes it in both of hers, squeezing gently. The motion is almost fond, affectionate. “It’s nice to meet you too, General Organa,” she chokes out.

“You can call me Leia.” The older woman gestures to the small meeting table in the middle of the hold. “Would you care to sit? We need to talk.”

Jeyna attempts to breathe deeply as she approaches one of the chairs, trying to settle her nerves. Leia waves a hand slightly at Aleck and the pilot. Each one disappears, the pilot back to the cockpit, and Aleck towards the main hatch.

Silence falls over them, as Jeyna watches the former princess sit gracefully across from her, her hands coming to rest on the table between them. Her face is collected, but her expressive eyes capture Jeyna’s again, searching, before she asks, “How are you, Jeyna?”

Her eyebrows quirk up at the question, surprised by the genuine care in the other woman’s voice. “I’m… I’m okay,” she answers hesitantly. “I was a little…surprised, by everything. A lot has happened recently. But I’m feeling a lot more… calm, now.” She stops her rambling to shrug slightly, unsure how else to explain. Her world has been a careening whirlwind ever since Stormtroopers marched her off of Dantooine.

Leia gives a very small nod, her eyes looking saddened. Jeyna waits for her to say something else, uncertain what to do. The General moves, leaning forward, her face suddenly showing more emotion. She looks to be torn, between restraint and distress.

“Has my son hurt you? Has he…been forceful, with you?” she asks, tone transforming into despair. Her careful control vanishes, it looks like uttering the questions nearly breaks her. Her hands move on the table, as she clasps them tightly together.

Jeyna flushes at the awkwardness of the question, understanding how it is intended, even as her lips part in confusion. Her son?

The older woman seems to understand the miscommunication, explaining in a trembling voice, “My son’s name is Ben Solo. But you know him as Kylo Ren.”

Jeyna’s breath leaves her in shock. Kylo Ren is the son of the Resistance leader, and former princess of Alderaan? How could it even be possible?

She realizes Leia is still waiting for an answer, and she stumbles over her reply, trying to make sense of the news. “No-No, he hasn’t hurt me. Or…been forceful.”

The relief that surges through Leia at her words is visible, her face relaxing from the terror and pain that had been hovering on it. “He was always a sweet boy. Though I don’t know how much of that remains…”

“How did he…” Jeyna cuts herself off, unsure how to continue. How did he end up defecting to the enemy? How did his life swerve so terribly in the direction opposite of his own mother? “How did he end up with the First Order?” she finally ventures.

Leia’s lips quiver before she presses them more firmly together. She takes a deep breath, before she answers. “We sent him off, too young. He was so powerful, we only wanted to help him. But we should have waited. I think he mistook it for rejection. Especially after what happened with his father.”

Jeyna presses, “His father?”

“His father was a smuggler,” Leia clarifies. “He had a hard time letting go of that, even after Ben was born. He liked to go back to his old haunts, relive memories. I indulged him, from time to time. I loved him, and it made him happy.”

Her eyes drift down towards her hands, and Jeyna sees as she clenches them once more. The movement reminds Jeyna of the woman’s son, the fists he forms to stave off outward signs of any emotion.

“But one time he took Ben, when he was just a little boy,” she continues, sadness filling her eyes. Eyes that are familiar now to Jeyna, in their expressiveness. “Han didn’t know how the smuggler’s moon would affect him. By the time Han got him home, he was hysterical. Inconsolable. It was days before he talked again.”

Jeyna’s mouth falls open in horror at the bad memory, suddenly understanding his hatred for Nar Shaddaa. And she suspects she has filled in the mystery regarding the abandoned apartment they’d stopped in.

“Han was so excited to have children. But he didn’t know how to handle Ben. He thought he was a failure as a father. He would leave for longer and longer trips, after that. Ben thought it was his fault, even when I tried to tell him it wasn’t.” Leia looks close to tears, her eyes dragging away from the table entirely, to focus somewhere to the side. Her voice is ragged with emotion. “And his power was only getting stronger. He scared the other children. He scared everyone, the way he always knew what you were thinking, and feeling. We only wanted him to learn control. So, we sent him to my brother, Luke.”

Jeyna recognizes the name in relation to Leia immediately. “Skywalker,” she adds quietly. Luke Skywalker was a famous Jedi, before he had disappeared from space. No historians knew of his location, or if he was even still alive.

Leia nods, pulling her hands back into her lap. “Luke was going to train him to be a Jedi. I don’t know what happened between them, but it wasn’t enough. Ben fell, to the dark side. And Luke, blaming himself, went into exile.”

Jeyna is overwhelmed by the secrets of Kylo’s history, and the details Leia has shared. But she can’t help herself from disagreeing quietly with his mother. “I don’t think he has fallen completely,” she says. She is struck with the memory of his hands trembling after the massacre on Dxun. The way his kisses could be so sweet, affectionate. She’d seen openness and warmth in his eyes before, though it was fleeting. She isn’t convinced that he is a lost cause.

Leia is searching her eyes, face plain in its desperation. “Have you seen him? Ben? Not the mask he wears?”

Jeyna understands, her stomach sinking in horrified clarity, that Leia isn’t referring to the physical helmet. She means to imply that Kylo Ren is the mask that Ben Solo wears. Tears spring to Jeyna’s eyes for what feels like the tenth time in as many hours, pained by the insight into his existence.

“I think so,” Jeyna whispers uncertainly, not daring to speak louder. Just admitting it aloud makes her nervous, terrified at the thought of losing him back into whatever protective shell he’d crafted. She knows now why she had felt so awful being snatched off of Nar Shaddaa. The feelings are real, and they come from her, not some mind trick. She needs to get back to him, the desire to be with him painfully strong.

But she’s let down when Leia seems to disagree moments later. “Then we made the right decision, taking you when we did,” she says, her tone smoothing out after the emotions that had previously rocked it.

Jeyna stares at her, dismay writing itself plainly on her features. Leia sees it, and frowns sympathetically. “Our intelligence informed us that Snoke wants you dead. We can’t allow that to happen,” the older woman explains softly. “I have to protect you from my son, for my son. If Ben kills you, I fear we might lose him forever. That would be a darkness he could never pull away from.”

She sighs slightly in response to Leia’s words, even as she knows they are true. “And you don’t want him to find whatever the maps lead to, right?” she ventures. “Snoke wants whatever Revan left behind.”

Leia nods once. “Yes. Though I fear we might have made some concessions on that front, in favor of acquiring you.”

Jeyna gives her an inquiring look, and the older woman’s face grows sorrowful. “We couldn’t recover the droid. We had to pull our forces. As soon as he felt Aleck’s betrayal, he flew into a rage. He would have slaughtered them.”

Her heart pounds at the thought, and she licks her lips nervously. Had he found the next section of the map? The next holocron, if there was one? Or did he have the complete star map? Would he tell her, if that were the case? His words to her only seemed to come while she slept, and they were singularly focused.

“What if he has the whole map, then? What do we do?” she asks.

Leia stands, coming around the table towards Jeyna. “You let us worry about that,” she reassures. Jeyna stands, surprised when the older woman pulls her into a firm embrace.

She freezes for only a moment before returning the gesture, understanding that the conversation has given her hope as a mother. The scent that clings to Leia’s robes only registers in Jeyna’s subconscious, a distinct but also vague freshness, tinged with salt. Something in her mind grabs onto the observation, obsesses over it.

Leia’s released her, and they are pulling apart when the word leaves Jeyna’s mouth in confusion. “Ocean…”

The older woman’s eyes darken in realization. “What did you just say?”

Jeyna’s brow is furrowed as she repeats herself. “Ocean…? You smell like the ocean?” Is that what she had realized? Did it matter?

Leia’s face turns panicked as she shouts for Aleck. “You need to get her off this planet, now!” she calls, as he comes rounding the corner into the main hold.

“Why? What’s happened?” he asks.

“He knows!” Leia says, voice taut with stress. “He’s figured it out.”


	23. Ch. 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead

Leia reaches out to squeeze Jeyna’s hand gently, in a rushed farewell. Her eyes are pained with regret. For a moment, it looks like the older woman wants to say more, before Aleck interrupts.

“You need to get back to your ship and depart, immediately,” he urges her.

Leia looks torn, searching for words she can’t seem to find, before nodding to Aleck. She tears her eyes away from Jeyna’s, allowing Aleck to lead her toward the hatch.

Jeyna watches as the General is led off the ship, and Aleck heads to the cockpit. Only moments later they lift off. They quickly ascend from the planet, and Jeyna settles back onto a seat as she wonders where they’d attempted to hide. She hadn’t gotten a chance to see it, though perhaps they never would’ve let her glimpse it.

Apparently, it had an ocean. Had that simple fact in her mind been enough to tell Ren where she was? He must know which planets Leia would consider hiding her on. Perhaps the ocean had been enough of a clue.

Jeyna realizes she’s never actually smelled an ocean. She’d seen one, from a distance, but had never been close enough to catch the scent of saltwater. She concludes that his hold on her mind is much stronger than she had realized. The recognition of the scent had to have come from Kylo.

It is simultaneously alarming to her, and also bizarrely comforting. She’d never felt such conflicting emotions before in her life. How could she want to run from someone just as strongly as she longed to rush towards them?

The ship breaks free of the atmosphere, immediately jumping to hyperspace. Jeyna is struck by an odd sensation as she pictures the ocean they’d left behind. She can see it, in her mind, as the ship gives a shudder and drops out of hyperspace quickly. It was an extremely short jump.

Aleck stands, his face registering concern for a moment before he wipes it back into a neutral arrangement.

How does she know that the sand had been white? That the shore had been speckled by large, sparkling rocks that jutted out into the surf? How can she picture it so accurately, never having seen it for herself?

The pilot emerges from the cockpit, his face intense. “We need to refuel, or we’ll never make another jump!” he declares, before registering her sitting there. He looks horrified as he realizes his mistake in speaking in front of her.

**_You’re closer. I can feel you._ **

Ren’s voice is clear in her head, and she can suddenly feel him, an almost physical manifestation. It is strange to her, as the Force is still so new to her. But she can detect, weakly, that the void between them has lessened. It no longer feels like lightyears separate them. It’s as if she could reach out and find him there, before her.

Jeyna puts her hand to her head, pressing her fingertips to the spot on her forehead between her eyes. A pressure is pushing there, at the front of her brain. She winces at it, and suddenly the image of the beach and ocean is pulled away. The pressure disappears with it.

 ** _You aren’t far from there…_** Kylo’s voice is determined, but also tinged with curiosity, as if close to solving a puzzle. **_They are running out of moves._**

“Miss Torre…” Aleck asks softly.

She jerks, looking up to see both him and the pilot watching her. “He’s close,” she says simply.

The pilot swears, turning his back to her to pace towards the wall of the ship. She watches as he leans his arms against it, pushing his head onto them to hide frustration.

“You can feel that?” Aleck presses. She nods. He takes a deep breath, his eyes scrutinizing hers. “The bond is growing stronger. I was hoping it would do the opposite, with distance.”

Jeyna hangs her head, feeling an odd emotion similar to shame course through her. She isn’t helping their cause, and she doesn’t want to get them hurt. But she can’t seem to stop the willingness to welcome him into her awareness, to hear his voice in her mind, to feel him any way she can.

 ** _It won’t be long. I’ll have you soon._** There is something unspoken with his words, and she searches for the word to describe the emotion leaking through to her. It’s possessiveness, coloring his thoughts, tinging his intent.

**Many Hours Later**

She’s retreated to the dormitory, assuming the pilot and Aleck will need to be alone to discuss their options. She doesn’t want to risk overhearing anything that could give Ren more clues, trying to allow logic to prevail over her emotions.

For their sakes, she needs to resist helping him find her. The feelings she’d detected through their connection were relentless and brutal. She knows he’d meant it, when he said he’d kill anyone that gets in his way. And she feels intense guilt at the thought of that happening to either of the men on the ship, because of her.

Jeyna takes a bit too long of a shower, as the water helps to drown out her thoughts. Her mind wants to wonder about the planets she knows of, tempted to search for answers. But she doesn’t want to think about what system she might currently be in, to give him any more clues.

Eventually, however, she bores. She paces the dormitory, wishing she had taken up the pilot on his offer of something to read. Anything to distract her brain from Kylo’s presence, from the lure of thinking about the puzzle he’s working on in regards to her location.

Mercifully, at the moment she’s desperately hoping for a distraction, the door opens. The pilot strolls in to toss her a food pack. “You don’t have to stay in here any longer, you know. We’ve got a plan, you won’t hear anything else out of my big mouth,” he says, his voice showing he means it jokingly. “Plus we figured out how to voicelock the cockpit. You couldn’t get in there if you tried.”

She smiles despite herself, relieved he isn’t frustrated at her hearing his earlier slip up. She fights the urge to think about what their plan might be. Is there someplace close to refuel? Is it possible Ren will guess that location?

“I heard Aleck taught you Pazaak. Want to play?” the pilot asks, dropping down to sit on one of the bunks across from her.

Jeyna watches as he tears open the corner of his own ration pack with his teeth. “I’m not very good,” she admits. He shrugs.

“It’s something to keep your mind busy,” he says nonchalantly. She understands instantly. They’re trying to break the connection, or at least preoccupy her mind.

“Alright,” she agrees. He grins.

“What are we betting on?” he asks.

“I don’t bet with people whose names I don’t know,” Jeyna replies, giving him a small, teasing smile. She uses his lack of identity as an excuse, knowing she will likely lose every round regardless.

“Oh,” he says, shrugging. “You can call me Poe.”

She falters, her grin falling. “You didn’t have to tell me!”

He waves her off. “I decided, he’s going to want me dead anyway. Might as well give him the name that goes with this handsome face.” His smile is as charming as it is self-deprecating. “I’m Poe Dameron.”

Jeyna feels the rush of jealousy and anger come from nowhere, releasing an onslaught of adrenaline in her veins. She recoils from his smile, dropping her gaze and clenching her jaw in an attempt to block out the feelings that don’t belong to her.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she lies. “Let’s play Pazaak.”

**Many Rounds Later**

Jeyna gradually gets better as she plays, even as she suspects Poe lets her win several times. She has a hard time concentrating on the game, and bizarrely it almost seems to help her hide her hand.

By the time they’ve quit the game, she is tired. He gathers up the card deck for the last time, giving her an easy smile. “I’ll let you get some rest,” he says.

She nods, returning his smile without thinking. She finds him to be an easy presence, likeable in his upbeat, carefree attitude despite their dour situation. She tries to ignore the pang of jealousy in her chest, the smile slipping.

“Goodnight, I guess,” she says. She finds being on ships so disorienting, the lack of day and night always throwing her off. He gives her a nod before letting himself out.

She turns the lights off manually, pitching the room into darkness before settling on the cot. The blankets quickly overheat her, and she kicks them off as the jealousy lingers still at the edge of her awareness.

 _Ben Solo,_ she thinks, remembering Kylo’s birth name. Her body responds to it strangely, her breath catching as she longs to say it out loud. She holds onto it, however, keeping her lips closed.

The longer she thinks about him, the more desire builds. It doesn’t help that as soon as she is calm, with nothing else to focus on, she can feel his presence. He is close, closer than he’s been since she was taken off Nar Shaddaa. She feels attuned to his power, tensing in anticipation.

Jeyna tries to not think of the smirk on his face, as he told her she was his. The way he’d been so cocky in the declaration, admitting he knew exactly how his presence affected her. Could he feel it now? Could he feel her body and her heart calling out to him, the way she felt his jealousy panging within her own chest?

She turns over, attempting to bury her face in the pillow. She lets a fitful sleep claim her.

**Later**

He is there, in the dark. She can see him as clearly as if he’s laying right beside her. Naked from the waist up, his pale skin almost glows in the low light. She’s taken aback by the musculature of his shoulders and chest, even more noticeable when laid bare.

She can sense the energy surging from him, he’s worked up. There’s a faint coloring in his cheeks, his hair damp with sweat. She reaches out, wanting to brush the hair back from his forehead, to run her hand along his flushed skin.

His eyes snap open the minute she swears she can feel him, feel the sensation of skin and soft hair on her fingertips. They lock onto hers, wild and black and starving.

When Jeyna awakens from the dream, her mind is fogged by a heavy cloud of lust. Her body is already aroused, wetness pooling between her legs. Her nipples are peaked beneath the thin undershirt, her skin feeling like it is radiating heat.

Her confusion at waking up in such a state is overruled by her body, throbbing with need. She’s never woken like this before, already lost in heat. She hesitates for only a moment before abandoning control, sliding her hand down between her thighs and under her panties. She slips her fingers through the moisture in her slit, jerking at the sensitivity when they brush over her clit.

She only becomes aware of him in her mind then, as his presence grows stronger. Her fingers instantly freeze, pulling back from herself as embarrassment floods her.

**_I didn’t tell you to stop._ **

She gasps in a breath as she realizes she can feel his arousal through the connection, foreign as it creeps in to mingle with hers. Her core pulses lightly with need as the sensations build, his urges sending her own desire surging, a positive feedback loop.

She’s never felt him like this before. His emotions are clear to her, despite the distance between them. And what he’s feeling at the moment is feral, possessive. Images flood her mind, and she knows they are coming from him. What he’s picturing doing to her, carried away as he is. His imagination is somehow both sweet and obscene, and her body reacts with another wave of craving.

**_Be good for me. Touch._ **

She winces her eyes closed at the lewdness of his command, feeling timid even as she moves to obey him immediately. Her fingers find her clit again, swirling in focused circles. Pleasure builds, her mouth falling open at the intensity.

Her shyness soon falls away as she gives in to focusing only on her touch, only on the feeling of his invasion in her awareness. His mind is still transmitting his thoughts to her, whether he means it to or not. Her rhythm picks up as his imaginings turn even more explicit, and she can feel her heartbeat echoed in his, both pounding a frantic pace.

It isn’t long before she’s close, her breathing coming in ragged, sporadic gasps. Her thoughts flare up, compete with his, turning to picturing him in flashes. His eyes, dark with emotion, focusing on hers with unrelenting intensity. His lips, full and soft and yet so demanding when he claims her mouth.

Her hips are jerking, she is panting as she rushes towards the edge.

**_Stop._ **

Her fingers halt, pull away at his command, before she even fully recognizes it in her haze. She whimpers aloud in the dark dormitory, her core clenching down on nothing in the desire to fall over into euphoria.

She can practically feel his breathing like it’s her own, can feel it as he attempts to steady himself. Her own chest rises and falls rapidly, her breath whispering in the otherwise silent room.

**_Use your fingers._ **

She slides one finger in slowly, experimentally, before he corrects her. **_Two._**

She obeys, adding a second. She pumps them a few times, her arousal coating them, before she begins curling them to hit the spot that hides on her front wall. Noises start to spill out of her, whimpers and choked moans, as she targets her most sensitive area for him. The thought of him inside her, filling her, makes a loud cry of pleasure break free. Are they his thoughts, or hers? She’s lost, and can’t tell the difference any more.

**_You make such pretty sounds._ **

She can hear it then, in his voice as it reverberates through her mind. It’s rough and taut with his own need, and she is suddenly struck with the thought of him echoing her actions, wherever he is. She tries to picture his face, lost in pleasure, and has to turn her face into the pillow to try to muffle herself.

Her fingers move faster, thrusting rougher, as she imagines him, hard, between her legs. She swears she can feel the sharp bite of his teeth on her neck. She fights down the urge to cry out a second time, biting her lip at the sensations that accompany their imaginations.

**_Stop._ **

She pulls her fingers out, holding them hovering above her center, even as the frustration hits her. “Kylo!” she gasps aloud, desperate.

**_You know better now._ **

His voice is hard with arousal and frustration, and she reels as her body demands more. But she keeps her hand away from herself, compelled to obey him by whatever power he holds over her body. A perverse need in her loves this, thrills from the control he exercises over her in the moment. 

**_Ask for what you need._ **

Her head is filled with pleading, her body crying out for relief. What’s happening is too intense, the connection between them blurring the lines between reality and their shared fantasy. But he isn’t satisfied. **_Out loud._**

“Please!” she gasps. “Please let me finish!”

**_Touch yourself. But don’t come yet._ **

Her fingers descend on her clit again, feverish in their motion, and she’s immediately back on the brink of bliss. Her voice is gasping out her desperation in a hushed stream of begging. Her nerve endings are screaming with sensitivity, and somehow, she can feel him holding onto control just as weakly as she does. His pleasure is surging with hers, and she’s right on the edge. “Please, please, I can’t take it, please, I need it…”

 ** _Please who? Say it._** He presses, voice tight.

“Please, Ben!” His true name spills off her tongue easily, she’s so lost in the coils of pleasure building inside her. It becomes a frenetic chant, as she repeats it aloud, choking it out amid frantic gasps for air. “Ben, please, _Ben!”_

**_Come for me._ **

She comes undone immediately, the waves of her orgasm crashing through her, pleasure surging from her core to linger everywhere. She’s holding her breath, vision in the dark decorated with stars, her body contorting as she rides out the release. She can feel him, there with her, his own arousal peaking in time with hers.

Her eyes are blurring when she drags in a breath finally, her muscles relaxing as the last intense wave subsides. She lays still for a few minutes, fighting dizziness, letting her body calm. The chemicals that flood her bloodstream make her feel like she is buzzing, on a high.

He’s silent for so long she wonders if he’s broken the connection. But when she reaches out, she finds him, there lingering on the edge of her thoughts.

 ** _Does it change anything? What she told you._** His voice is different now, quieter and contemplative.

“No,” Jeyna answers honestly, without pause. Knowing his past hasn’t changed anything. It hasn’t diminished her affection for him, only strengthening it. She’d call him any name he chose, as long as it connected him to her.

**_Then I know what I will have to do._ **

She is confused at his statement, but doesn’t have a chance to ask him what he means before he breaks the connection. His presence is completely gone. She’s left alone, on the thin cot in the dormitory that suddenly feels too cold and bare.


	24. Ch. 24

When she wakes up after sleeping in, she finds her mind is still very much her own. She can’t sense him, his presence blocked off from hers. She wonders, with the burn of rejection in her chest, if this is what he was planning to do. Had he meant to sever their tie so thoroughly? She’d fallen asleep assuming the connection would return when she woke.

Her heart sinks even as she knows it would be a good thing. If he did end it, she could properly hide from him. She would be able to escape the First Order for good, and not have to worry about Snoke wanting her dead.

She struggles to repress the panicked emotions that accompany the thoughts of it being permanent, the link broken forever. But what happened between them so very recently only made her longing to be with him again stronger.

Jeyna focuses on her surroundings to distract herself. As soon as she does, she notices an absence of something else from her senses. Since he had previously made her aware of her ability to detect such things, she’d been hyper observant of the noises of the ship. And there is a distinct lack of vibration from the engines, indicating they’ve landed somewhere.

She emerges from the dormitory to find only Aleck in the main hold. His face looks somber, and he is not bothering to hide the expression.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, concerned.

He searches her face before speaking, slowly. “The situation has changed since yesterday.”

“How?”

Aleck’s eyes linger on hers for a while, analyzing, before he tells her, “The entire First Order fleet is searching for us. They’ve populated the sector. It’s only a matter of time.”

She is taken aback by the news. “What…Why? Doesn’t Snoke have better things to do than use his entire fleet for just me?” She knows the Supreme Leader wants her, so Ren can finish his mission and kill her. But it still seems an extreme move for him to make.

“Snoke isn’t the one who commands them,” Aleck corrects her.

Jeyna stares at him, confused, her stomach dropping in uneasiness. He takes a deep breath before he explains, “Our sources tell us Ren killed Snoke, just hours ago. He has usurped power as the new Supreme Leader.”

She stumbles into a seat, her head falling into her hands as she takes in the news. She hadn’t been expecting that. And Jeyna realizes it changes everything.

“The connection you have… I need to know if you can use it the way Ren does. It’s our only hope, if you can manipulate the bond-” Aleck starts to explain, but Jeyna shakes her head.

“He’s broken it. I can’t feel him,” she admits. “It’s been broken for a few hours…”

Aleck’s face turns grim, even as he nods. “It would have protected you from feeling it, had he died challenging Snoke.”

Her heart races with anxiety at the thought, and she is strangely angry with him. How could he do something like that without warning her? She could have lost him, lost the only real emotional connection she’d ever forged in life, and she hadn’t even known.

She hears it as Aleck sighs. “Miss Torre…There is no point in hiding the facts from you any longer. Ren must have figured out our probable locations based on how short our jump was. We needed more fuel to go farther, and there were only a few places we could hide without acquiring it.”

Jeyna focuses on his words, trying to clear her thoughts. “So, he’s got those locations pinned down? And we’re on one of them?”

Aleck nods slowly. “If we try to leave our current hiding spot, there are so many First Order ships in the vicinity…We will be spotted. I was hoping you could use the connection to attempt to plant a red herring in his mind, but with it broken…”

“Are there other ships on this planet, moon, wherever we’re set down?” she asks, her mind struggling to formulate a plan.

Aleck’s eyes are calculating as he searches hers, and she knows she isn’t imagining the touch of suspicion in them. “Yes…”

“Are there droids on any of them capable of piloting this ship? I know some Astromech models can do it with course assist in the nav computer-”

Aleck interrupts her fast speech with a hand held up, and she falters. “Why would we need a droid to pilot this ship?”

“Because…if you could program a droid to take me on this ship to the Finalizer, that would distract Ren long enough. You and Poe, and whoever else is here, could escape on the other ships.” It’s the best plan she can suggest that might end things peacefully, or as close to peacefully, as possible.

Aleck looks intent on refusing it, his features showing borderline anger. “You aren’t surrendering yourself to Ren.”

“He won’t kill me! Snoke is dead!” Jeyna protests.

“Would you so blindly align your cause with Ren’s? Do you want to further the First Order’s agenda because you can’t see past your emotions?” Aleck challenges, voice tight with restraint.

“I’m not furthering their cause-” she attempts to argue, but he cuts her off.

“You are. _Ren is their Supreme Leader now,_ ” he reminds her, control giving way as anger slips through. “If you help him, you help the First Order. I don’t know what Revan left behind, but in their hands, it could crush the Resistance. Your naïve love for one broken man could be the nail in the coffin of our movement!”

Jeyna doesn’t answer immediately, letting his words sink in. Would Ben use whatever they found against the Resistance? Did he believe so strongly in the First Order’s cause? Or could he be convinced to walk his own path? She realizes, with a sinking feeling in her chest, that she hadn’t ever dared to question his motives.

“What does Leia think?” she asks finally.

Aleck seems to have regained his carefully composed demeanor, the traces of anger vanishing. “Poe is trying to reach her on comms. But likely the General is busy trying to orchestrate a way out of this situation for us.”

Jeyna drops her gaze in defeat. “I don’t want to get you or Poe killed trying to stop him,” she admits quietly.

“We are both willing to give our lives for this cause. That decision was made well before you ever entered the picture,” Aleck says. She searches his scarred face, realizing how much he is still a stranger to her, before nodding.

He stands, requesting, “Please inform me if the connection to Ren returns.”

She nods again, unsure what else to say, and he leaves her in the hold alone. She watches him disappear into the comms room near the cockpit.

**Later**

Not much time has passed, and Jeyna feels tightly wound with anxiety as she waits. Kylo, or Ben, still hasn’t attempted to rekindle the connection in the force. She mentally stumbles over what to call him. Ben is the name that feels right, even as it brings a blush onto her cheeks to think it. But somehow it is so at odds with the image of him, masked and in all black, as the new Supreme Leader.

Jeyna has to stop herself, several times, from almost reaching out in the force for him on accident. It happens intuitively, as she thinks of him, her consciousness longing to find his presence.

Just as she feels like she might go completely crazy, her thoughts and feelings torn so completely in half regarding him, the door to comms opens. Aleck and Poe emerge, both looking urgent.

“Is the connection still gone?” Aleck demands. When she nods, he presses, “You’re certain?”

“Yes,” she says, searching her mind in doubt. She feels nothing.

“Then we need to move. They’ve begun sending teams to do recon sweeps. We can’t wait any longer,” Aleck informs her.

“You ready to be my copilot?” Poe asks, forcing a disarming grin in her direction.

Jeyna feels her face drain of color at the implication.

**Minutes Later**

She is strapped into the copilot seat of a tandem X-wing, her fingers numb from how tightly she grips the harness on her chest, when she sees the First Order ships enter the atmosphere above. Transport shuttles and TIE fighter escorts fill the sky.

They’re on a forested planet, one that seems mostly uninhabited from what little Jeyna’s seen on the hurried sprint from the shuttle to the X-wing. Hidden amongst the terrain is the remains of an old Rebel base, and that is where they’d been hiding out.

Poe fires up the engines, and Jeyna flinches at the noise assaulting her eardrums as the few Resistance ships surrounding them do the same.

“Here comes back up!” Poe shouts, his voice coming through the built-in headset in the helmet he’d plopped onto her head. Her heart starts thudding when she sees what he is talking about.

Resistance ships suddenly appear in the sky above, cruisers and fighters. They immediately begin firing on the First Order. “That’s our cue!” Poe lifts off hastily, and Jeyna struggles against the wave of terror rising and clamping down on her chest. They’ve started an all-out battle in an attempt to conceal her removal from the planet.

The X-wing is fast as Poe pushes it to its limits, and Jeyna tries to not look down at the rapidly receding forest below. But when she looks up, all she can see is the flood of TIE fighters pouring into the region, reinforcements already called to the fight.

She feels sick at the forces the ship puts on her body, as Poe attempts to evade the majority of the fighting. He’s a skilled pilot, but the maneuvers are unlike anything Jeyna’s used to. She’s never been on a ship as small and fast as the X-wing, and she fights nausea as her entire body shakes uselessly in the copilot’s seat.

She sees the ship she’d previously been on, the beat-up smuggler’s vessel they’d taken to Nar Shaddaa, out of the corner of her eye. Turning, she realizes Aleck must be using it as a decoy. It’s attracted intense attention from the First Order, and most ships seem to be following it. Her heart pangs in fear for the man, before Poe veers wildly away from the sight.

Two TIE fighters have noticed them, and are pursuing. Poe weaves through the edges of the battle, attempting to lose them. But other fighters seem to be taking notice, and join the pursuit. Jeyna notices with suspicion that they don’t fire upon them.

“I need help getting these things off my tail!” he yells into his headset. Jeyna can’t hear if there is a reply, her own device must be shut off to the Resistance communications. Her ears are filled with the sounds of screaming ship engines, distant explosions, and laser cannons firing.

A second X-wing appears on their flank, before falling back. She cranes her head to see it as it shoots down one of the original TIE fighters that pursued them, as well as another one that had joined the chase. Then, she gasps as a shot takes out one of its engines, and it is sent reeling sideways in an unsteady descent.

Poe swears, throwing the ship into a wide arc. Jeyna’s clinging on to try to stabilize herself, catching glimpses of three very persistent TIE fighters behind them, when she feels it.

The connection starts out tentative, his presence testing hers. And then it builds.

“He’s back! He’s in my head!” She shouts to Poe, hoping he will hear her over the sounds of the fighting.

The man lets out a stream of swear words that would have been impressive, had the situation been less disastrous.

Jeyna tries to fight Ben’s presence in her mind on instinct, she is so panicked over the battle taking place and the violence surrounding them. She hadn’t wanted this, she had wanted a peaceful solution. Aleck should have let her go to him. Lives are being lost because of her, and she is distraught.

She struggles to block her mind, but she has no idea how to do it. Her efforts hurt her head, pain blooming throughout her skull as she tries to force him back.

They’ve reached the edge of the atmosphere, the planet receding beneath them as a sphere of green and brown. Poe doesn’t hesitate, breaking free into space, even as the TIE fighters refuse to fall back. Jeyna can see the looming shape of a huge First Order ship, parked above the planet, waiting. Poe turns their path away from it, heading instead towards the blackness of space.

The X-wing shakes as one of the TIE fighters decides to fire on them, rapidly. The shields soak up the impacts, but they won’t last for long with such an onslaught.

Jeyna turns in time to see another bolt of laser fire connect with the rear of their X-wing, glancing off. Then she flinches, wincing her eyes at the burst of light that shocks them when the TIE fighter explodes without warning. She doesn’t even know who shot at it, but her heart stammers at the sight of the larger ship that takes its place.

It’s made of black metal, and its wings arch wickedly, straight up on either side of the main hold. The remaining two TIE fighters pull off, abandoning their pursuit. Only the new ship follows them, as Poe pushes the X-wing to its maximum speed.

“I need back up! Is anyone available?” the pilot shouts into his headset, swearing again at the response. “This isn’t good…This isn’t good…” Poe’s muttering under his breath, and Jeyna’s helmet transmits the noise as staticky whispers.

She doesn’t need his presence, surging in her mind, to confirm what she already knows. Ben is piloting the cruel black ship that stalks behind them. They are out of moves.


	25. Ch. 25

It isn’t long before he overcomes her weak attempts to block him from her mind, and she hears the deep growl of frustration as if it echoes from her own throat. He doesn’t push forward as strongly as he could, she feels his hesitation when she cringes in pain at the struggle between them.

**_Why are you blocking me out?_ **

Jeyna can’t explain. Even as her heart rises with relief at the connection, at the sound of his voice, angry as it is, her mind is wracked with guilt. She hadn’t wanted anyone to be hurt. She should have argued more with Aleck, pushed for him to release her. It could have prevented the fighting. She could have spared lives if she’d only had more of a backbone. But time and again, she feels like no one gives her a chance to make her own decisions.

**_Tell the pilot to surrender you. If he does, I will call off my ships from the battle before more lives are lost. If this continues, the Rebel forces will be decimated._ **

She looks at Poe, his face furrowed in concentration as he keeps them on a straight course through the unknown solar system, listening to comms intently as if waiting for a prayer to be answered.

“You have to hand me over,” she tells him. He jerks his head her way, giving her a suspicious glance.

“I’m not giving up that easily,” he insists.

“Your friends and allies are being killed,” Jeyna says urgently. “If you give me to him, he’ll call off the First Order.”

“And you believe him?”

“Yes, I do,” she snarls in reply, frustrated with his stubborn streak. “This is bigger than me! It’s not worth it to sacrifice so much of the Resistance!”

He looks torn, not answering her. “You have to trust me, Poe. Whatever Revan left, I will do everything I can to make sure it’s not used against the Resistance! You said you would get me to the point where I could make my choice, and I’m making it!”

He fixates his eyes on her, and she can see how lost he is in the moment. He’s trying to cling onto hope that there is another solution, but she presses on with her demand. “We aren’t sacrificing any more of the Resistance for this. I’m going to him.” The strength in her own voice surprises her, and she returns his stare with a piercing glare.

His resolve crumbles. He forms a fist, slamming it into the metal panel of the door in frustration. “Where?!”

The image floods her mind in response. White sand, rocks jutting out into calmly rolling surf.

“The ocean planet we were on before,” Jeyna says, closing her eyes as the picture vanishes. She keeps them closed as he completes the short jump through hyperspace, only opening when the dizzying blur is gone. This time she can see the planet as they approach it. It’s a beautiful ball of turquoise, speckled with islands that grow in size as they descend.

Poe sets them down on one at random, near the top of a hill that slopes down to the shore. She scrambles to remove the harness. “Take off as soon as I’m out!” she tells him, not wanting to risk a confrontation. He hesitates, but she is already climbing, clumsily, from the vessel and spilling down the hill.

Her heart is racing in anticipation, as she sees the black ship land not far from them, past an arching line of rocks that bisect the beach. The saltwater scent fills her nose as the breeze gusts off the water, and she recognizes the scent now. It’s somehow refreshing despite the briny quality.

Her mind takes a backseat as her legs carry her forward instinctively, reaching the bottom of the hill and setting off towards him. Every rational thought that had kept her from wanting this moment flies from her brain at the feeling of his presence, so near. She is on autopilot, getting to him her only primitive goal.

Jeyna forces her way across the sand as fast as she can, ducking under a massive span of rock and emerging closer to his ship. The ramp descends, and she sees him. The mask is back on, the black combat suit and cloak covering him. But she can feel him, feel the storming emotions that swirl under the disguise.

He takes the helmet off as he descends the ramp, letting it drop with a heavy thud onto the metal. His hair is swept back from his face, sunlight illuminating it to reveal a deep brown, and not the black it usually appears. She is relieved to see he looks tired but physically fine after the confrontation with Snoke.

She’s almost to the ship when the sound of a blaster going off behind her makes her cringe, the flash of red shooting past her.

She screams in realization of its intended destination, even as the bolt freezes, feet from Ben’s black-gloved hand. He’s holding it, crackling in the air. The red reflects in his eyes as he glares past her.

Jeyna turns, spotting Poe. He’s by the rock archway, the blaster still held in his outstretched hand. His eyes are widened in shock, and she realizes he can’t move. He’s frozen in place, moments after making a foolish attempt at killing the new Supreme Leader.

“Please,” she says, turning back to Ben. His eyes dart to hers. “Please don’t hurt him.”

She flinches when the blaster bolt moves suddenly, ricocheting wildly off course and colliding with a boulder, sending bits of scorched dust flying into the air. Ben stalks the rest of the way down the ramp into the sand, the wind from the ocean pushing his cloak out behind him.

“Does his life mean something to you?” he demands, eyes raging with barely restrained jealousy.

“There’s been enough killing today,” she stammers out, looking to him pleadingly when he stops a few feet from her.

“Then make your choice, before I lose my patience,” he orders her.

Her brow furrows at his words, confused. She can’t read the myriad emotions now swirling in his honey eyes, they are so chaotic. His lips quiver before he attempts to force his expression to remain locked. “Do you want to come with me?” he pushes.

Jeyna’s taken aback by the question, that he is even offering her the final say. The muscles of his face fail to withhold his emotions, and hopefulness mixes with desperation on his features. **_I know what it’s like, to have all of your choices made for you. I won’t decide for you. Not anymore._**

Ben’s voice in her mind is gentle, almost comforting. It’s in stark contrast to the harsh tones he’s spoken aloud in.

“Would you let me go? If I wanted to leave?” she asks doubtfully. The pain that flashes on his face is instantaneous, his lips parting for a harsh intake of breath.

“If that’s what you want,” he says, quietly.

She can’t bear it any longer. She crosses the last few feet between them, reaching for him. He is frozen, searching her face, as she gently caresses the faint scar on his cheek that is still fading. “I want you,” she admits. “You’re all I want.”

Her words unlock him, his eyes clear of their storm. His beautiful face breaks free from control, the relief obvious even as his eyes show surprise. She rises to kiss him, the sand shifting beneath her feet as she lifts to her toes. She clings onto his shoulders to steady herself, and his lips are hesitant against hers for the first time.

She breaks away from his lips to whisper, “Ben?”

He moves finally, his large black glove cradling her face to bring her back to his mouth. His other hand finds the small of her back, pressing her closer. The kiss is different than any before, the steady energy that comes from it feels like it’s rocking her very heart. He deepens it, his fingertips sliding to her neck so his thumb can stroke her cheek. She has the sudden urge to rip the gloves from him, and fling them into the ocean for daring to separate their skin.

His chuckle breaks the kiss, and he pulls away enough for her to catch the way his lips quirk upwards in a grin. “You still have amusing thoughts,” he says.

Jeyna can’t help the shy smile that she gives him back, even as her mind tries to remind her that Poe is still frozen behind them, very much able to see everything. A flush of embarrassment burns her cheeks.

“Poe is still-” she tries to say, to step back, but his arm around her back halts her retreat.

“Still alive? You’re welcome,” he interrupts. The small grin lingers even as his lips find hers again, she can feel it until he angles his mouth more firmly against hers. His tongue teases her lips open, slipping in to stroke hers. Nerves wriggle deep in her belly, even as her mind begs to relax and forget everything but him.

Too soon, he pulls away. “We need to leave. They’ll eventually try to track his ship, now that my forces aren’t distracting them.”

She tries to find stable footing as he releases her, turning to see Poe is staring at Ben, not backing down even as he is frozen in place. She doesn’t miss the challenging glare Ben gives back to the pilot.

“Don’t hurt him,” Jeyna repeats.

He looks at her, and for a very long moment she is worried by his hesitation. But then his hand reaches out, and she sees Poe crumple to the sand. She gasps at his unmoving form.

Ben turns to return to his ship, hesitating when he gets to the ramp and she still hasn’t moved. He turns to look at her, before raising his eyebrows. “I didn’t hurt him. He’s just going to be unconscious…For a long time.”

She huffs before tearing her eyes away from Poe, joining Ben at the ramp of the ship. It’s even more intimidating up close, the entire front of the vessel is lined with weapons. It looks like a command shuttle, and with a start, she realizes it’s most likely his personal ship now that he is the Supreme Leader.

He retrieves his helmet, but waits by the hatch for her to enter, his eyes steady on her as she steps into the shuttle. He shuts the hatch behind her, and she immediately misses the ocean air and sunshine.

“You like it on this planet,” he remarks. Jeyna nods, surveying the interior of his ship. It is typical for the First Order. Cold metal, shining surfaces, sterile while also managing to feel hostile.

When she looks back to Ben, it seems like he wants to say more, but stops himself. Instead, he jerks his head slightly, towards the front of the ship. “This way,” he urges, leading her to the cockpit.

Jeyna takes a seat near the navigation chart, unwilling to sit in a copilot’s seat again so soon. Ben’s piloting is smooth, and she is grateful for their easy liftoff from the beach after the aerobatics she’d been forced to endure in the X-wing.

She is silent as he talks on comms, surprised by the hard authority that takes over his voice when giving orders to the First Order. She can’t hear any replies, but she picks up enough from his half of the communications. They are going to be returning to the Finalizer, before transferring to the Supremacy.

Disappointment fills her at the thought of returning to the First Order’s headquarters, surveying Ren as he disconnects the headset and drops it. The cockpit is silent for a moment before they jump to hyperspace, the blur outside the window dizzying her. She tears her eyes away from it.

“You’re going to stay with the First Order?” she asks suddenly, unable to stop herself from inquiring about his motives any longer.

He punches in coordinates before turning from the controls, letting autopilot take over while they are in hyperspace. When he stands to face her, his face is curious.

“You don’t think I should?” he asks. He approaches the second navigation seat, sitting beside her and searching her gaze.

Jeyna struggles to find the right way to answer him, before sighing. “I don’t think that your path…is their path,” she says finally.

Ben looks away, towards the disorienting lights of hyperspace swirling around them. She tries to follow his gaze but can’t stand it, looking back towards her lap even as he answers her. “They have resources. Military power. I can use them, for the time being.”

She frowns. “Use them for what?”

Jeyna hears the deep breath Ben takes, sees his gloves clench before he relaxes his hands again. When she looks to his face, his eyes snap back to hers. “My whole life, for as long as I can remember…There’s been something else inside my head,” he begins. “Since I was a child, I’ve heard voices in my mind… coming from someone else.” Her eyes widen in horror and he drops his gaze from hers.

He continues on, voice tentative, gaze on his gloves once more. “I thought I was losing my mind, at one point. I couldn’t tell which thoughts were my own. And they all pulled me, towards the darkness. But when my emotions settled enough, when I could focus on you… I could hear that my voice was different from the rest. I know my own voice now.”

His eyes lift from his hands, to search hers imploringly. “Do you think I’m insane?”

She leans forward instantly, wanting to reassure him. “No, of course not!” she insists, before repeating in horror, “Your whole life… You’ve had to deal with this your whole life?”

He nods, and she feels heartbroken at the thought. Did Leia or his father know? Did he tell anyone, to ask for help? Or did he keep it to himself, afraid it would be mistaken for something far worse? Would they have assumed he was destined for the dark side? Leia had said that people were scared of him, and his powers, even as a small child. What would they have done, if he'd admitted voices were luring him towards the darkness? The thought pains her, as she searches his face sadly. 

“Who could do that?” Jeyna asks. “They’d have to be a strong force user, correct?” Her mind is already spinning, trying to fully understand the problem to try to solve it.

“Yes, they’d have to be very strong. I thought it was Snoke, but he’s dead and they are still there,” he admits, hesitating. “I don’t know who it is. But I know what they want.”

She raises her eyebrows, but she already thinks she knows. “They want whatever Revan left,” Ben confirms. “The voices have gotten louder, the closer we get.”

“Isn’t that a reason to not find it?” Jeyna asks.

He leans forward, and fierce determination fills his eyes as they capture hers. “No,” he disagrees. “If I find what they want, they’ll reveal themselves. And then, I can kill them. I can be free.”


	26. Ch. 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead

Ben puts the helmet back on as they near the hangar bay of the Finalizer, and Jeyna feels her mood sink in anticipation of being back on the ship. She’s not used to being in the cockpit while landing, able to see the flurry of activity they are pulling into.

The bay is filled with damaged ships, tended to by rushed looking technicians. Sparks fly out where metal is being welded back together, the massive space hectic and loud. She wonders how many Republic ships were damaged or lost in the fray. Her mind turns to one ship in particular, as she’d last seen it swarmed by TIE fighters.

“Aleck?” she asks, timid at the thought of his fate. Had he been captured? Killed?

The mask turns slightly towards her face, and he is silent for a moment before replying.

“He escaped,” the cold, mechanized voice admits. “He is lucky. I don’t forgive betrayal.”

She licks her lips, finding some relief in his words. But hearing his voice in the mask again makes him sound more like Kylo Ren than the man she now knows him to be, and it bothers her.

Ben leads her from the ship, then, and as they quickly cross the busy hangar he fills her in. “I had the droid brought back here,” he says. “Branic got it to function, but it needed a lot more work. Technicians have been trying, but it is difficult.”

“Difficult?” she inquires, curious.

“You’ll see. We will head there now,” he replies.

They barely clear the hangar into the control center beyond when Hux’s obnoxious tone grates her ears. Jeyna turns to see him striding towards them from near a bay of computers, his uniform looking immaculate as always, though his face is irritated. She glares at him.

“Ah, I’m so relieved _Princess Ren_ is home!” he calls, voice heavy with twisting sarcasm. “Lest we continue a wild goose chase through the galaxy, wasting our time-”

He doesn’t have a chance to continue, before Ben flings an arm out, sending the redheaded man flying. He slams into a wall of screens on the far side of the room, shattering them with the force of his body’s impact. Glass rains down as he falls, limp, to the floor.

Throughout the control room, officers snap to attention, none daring to look at Hux’s motionless body. Their fearful gazes are locked on the mask of their new Supreme Leader.

“Status report,” he demands.

Jeyna can’t help but flinch at the cold tone that comes from his helmet. She hates the device, and the purpose it serves in hiding his vulnerability. Even though she understands the necessity of it for his success in the First Order, she finds herself wanting to yank the horrible thing off him. She sees the mask angle towards her slightly, as he likely hears her thoughts, even as a man steps forward to give him a report.

“Ships are moving into position for the blockade. We don’t expect immediate resistance from the Hutts, but weapons systems are primed if needed.” The man speaking looks incredibly nervous. Jeyna can see the sheen of sweat on his forehead.

“Good. Prepare the Finalizer to jump to hyperspace. Put us in orbit around Nar Shaddaa,” Ben orders, utilizing the cruel voice of Kylo Ren. She grits her teeth, disliking it more by the minute.

The man snaps a salute. “Of course Sir, right away!” He strides from the room.

Jeyna’s confused at the request. Why is he using the First Order to blockade the smuggler’s moon? If he really that worried about the Resistance getting their hands on whatever is hidden there first?

She doesn’t have time to ask him, nor would she dare to in front of the room of people. It’s too easy to be intimidated by the metal mask and wall of black, even as she tries to remind herself of the man underneath.

“Inform me if the situation changes, immediately,” he snaps, turning to start towards the door. He hesitates however, his head tilting towards Hux, still laying broken amongst a pile of glass. “And someone take General Hux to the medbay. He seems to be feeling under the weather.”

**The Maintenance Floor**

Jeyna does her best to keep up with him when they depart the elevator, her pace fast as she scrambles alongside his black cloak. He takes her down one hallway after another, weaving through a maze of repair bays and droid stations. The only other people on this floor seem to be technicians, all of which give them a wide berth as they pass, looking terrified to see the likes of Kylo Ren storming through their work area.

Gradually they stop passing technicians, and even the amount of broken junk laying around seems to diminish. They end up at the last room of the hallway, and Jeyna instantly falls back when she sees it is flanked by two menacing men dressed all in black. Like Ben, they wear masks over their faces. Both are holding weapons, and both give off an aura of darkness.

The feeling from them reminds her of the darkness that lingered in Freedon Nadd’s tomb on Dxun. It is cold, but also somehow hungry, reaching out to tug on her with the lure of something curiously wrong.

She realizes suddenly that if it is the dark side she feels coming from them, that Ben’s power is not at all dark in nature. Even when he is violently worked up, his energy chaotic, it doesn’t feel like the ominous tendrils that surge out from these faceless men.

The pair bow when they see the mask of Kylo Ren, before stepping to the side to clear the door for him. Jeyna skirts by them quickly, reluctant to have to pass so near them, following Ben into the room.

The door slides shut behind them, and she gives a wary look back at it, still able to sense their presence beyond.

“They won’t harm you. They’re under my command,” he reassures.

“Who are they?” she asks.

“The Knights of Ren,” he explains. His hands raise, and a moment later the telltale sound of his helmet releasing its hold of him fills her ears. She’s relieved when he pulls it off, sitting it down on a workstation top.

“They were guarding the droid for me while I was gone,” Ben explains, gesturing at the HK model that is powered down near the wall. “I didn’t trust Hux to not sabotage it.”

Jeyna nods, silently agreeing with his precautions. The droid has been cleaned up, and she walks closer to inspect it further. “You said it is difficult to work with? Difficult how?”

He approaches it, removing the diagnostic tool that was left plugged into its processor and powering it on. “See for yourself,” he suggests.

She watches as its eyes flicker on, the droid straightening itself as it whirs to life. Its head turns as it takes in the room, before its red eyes settle on Ben.

“Greetings again, meatbag,” it says to him, in a voice that is surprisingly cynical for a droid.

Jeyna’s mouth falls open slightly in shock at hearing the droid’s first statement, and she looks from it to Ben in confusion. His lips quirk, as if amused at her surprised response.

“What did you just call him?” she asks the droid. Its head turns to her.

“Condescending Explanation: Organics are a meat-based sack of organs and fluids. A meatbag.”

Her mouth falls open further, but before she can think to formulate a response or follow up question, its optic system scans her. The grid of light covers her face, and she flinches.

The droid turns its body to face her more fully. “My system recognizes your facial scans from multiple databases, Master. I am pleased to finally meet you.”

Ben gives a huff of irritation. “Figures. I argued with this thing for hours, and got nowhere.”

Jeyna’s taken aback, ignoring his comment to blurt out, “Master?! How can I be your Master?”

“Placating Clarification: My operating system demands that in the absence of my primary Master, I am to serve you. Is there anyone you wish me to kill for you, Master?” The droid sounds exceedingly eager at the thought of killing, and Jeyna shakes her head as her confusion over its behavior grows. She’d suspected it to be Revan’s former assassin droid, but its responses were highly unusual.

“What!? No!” she refuses. “Wait, who is your original master? Revan?”

The droid’s head turns, spastically, before it focuses on her once again. “System Error: Corruption in the memory core. I am in need of further maintenance before I can access my full memory storage.”

She sighs, stepping back to sit on a stool at one of the workstations. “Why are you programmed to serve me if your primary master is absent?” she tries instead.

“Explanation: I have tracked your lineage for centuries,” the droid replies. “I lost functionality 49 standard years ago due to a sudden lack of proper maintenance, but I have been able to integrate with the databases available on this ship since being activated. It was a simple matter to track your information down in them. You are the last remaining descendent of Bastila Shan.”

She looks away from it, letting its words sink in. She’s descended from the Jedi Knight Bastila Shan. Didn’t that mean she was also descended from Revan? The two were married. But then why had the droid been programmed to follow the Shan line, and not the progeny of Revan? Shouldn’t it be the same lineage? Who had programmed it in that specific way? The droid’s explanation only raises more questions for Jeyna.

“How did you access our databases without clearance? The firewall should have stopped you,” Ben asks it, looking curious.

“Conjecture: Perhaps your system’s firewalls are not as secure as you had believed. Musing: Or perhaps I am a far more superior model droid than you are accustomed to on this ship.”

“Superior?” he retorts, eyeing the droid disdainfully. “You look like a rusted tin can we pulled from a scrap heap.”

“Veiled Threat: Master, are you certain this meatbag does not need to be terminated? I would be thrilled to burn holes in his skin suit.” The droid’s red, unblinking eyes fixate on Jeyna and she sighs in frustration.

“Do you know about your primary master leaving something on Nar Shaddaa? A holocron, or a piece of a map?” she presses onward.

The droid’s head moves again, rocking with the glitches it seems to be encountering. “System Error: Corruption in the memory core. I am in need of further maintenance, Master. I will run a self-diagnostic and report.”

Jeyna looks at Ben, but he’s staring at the droid as if fascinated. “Someone programmed this droid to have these unusual speech patterns,” he says. “Did Revan have a sense of humor?”

She shrugs. “Not one that was recorded in historical archives.”

“Diagnostic complete. Report: Memory core is intact, but my memory modulator needs replaced. My navigation chip is entirely corrupted, a new one is required. System processors need updated, and my vocabulator unit is in need of routine maintenance,” the droid announces, the sardonic tone heavy. 

“I’ll send the techs back in to get to work,” Ben suggests. “We can try again once it’s running efficiently.”

She nods. “Power down for now, HK.”

“As you wish, Master.” She watches as the red dims from its eyes, leaving it once again a lifeless metal skeleton.

**Later**

Jeyna is left alone while Ben goes to the bridge to see to the blockade of Nar Shaddaa. He’s left her in his quarters, two of his Knights hovering in the hallway outside his door for protection. She tries to keep herself busy with updating her records and ordering food to be delivered. However, the datapad and badly prepared meal only keeps her busy for so long before she’s bored.

He’s been gone for hours, and tiredness starts to set in. She’s been awake for a while, and the day’s events have drained her. She could do without ever stepping foot into a X-wing again, just the memory bringing back a wave of nausea.

She decides to take a shower and then sleep until he returns, figuring he will not mind her using the bed since she’s slept in it once before.

However, as soon as she steps from the shower to dry off with the thick, dark towel, she realizes her mistake. She has no clothing of her own in his quarters.

Jeyna wraps the towel around herself, feeling awkward as she considers her options. Her dirty clothes are lying in a small heap on the floor of his refresher, but she finds the thought of putting them back on unappealing. She steps out of the bathroom, hesitantly making her way to the wardrobe.

She can’t say she’s shocked to find it filled entirely with black. She paws through the clothing, before pulling a thick, knit shirt from the back. She drops her towel, shyness making her fumble as she pulls his top over her head. The hem falls to her upper thighs, concealing enough of her, as the sleeves tumble down to her knuckles. She pushes them back, licking her lips as the thought of wearing his clothing suddenly stirs something within her that’s been lurking in the back of her mind.

It feels strange, but also affectionate. She’s never been close enough to a man to do this before, to dare to help herself to anything of his. She’s almost nervous enough to pull it back off and retreat to her own rumpled items left abandoned by the shower.

She doesn’t have time to contemplate further before she hears the sound of the door unlocking. Her heart thumps with her nerves, and she walks down the narrow hallway towards the living quarters to greet him.

Her eyes land on his right as he pulls the helmet from his head. He drops it unceremoniously to the floor, his gaze dropping from hers to sweep down her body, lingering on her bare legs.

“I…I don’t have any clothes here,” she stutters awkwardly. “I wasn’t thinking and forgot until I was getting out of the shower.”

Ben’s eyes are still focused on her thighs, before he seems to force them to drag upwards. When they meet hers again, they are dark with intensity. “What a fortunate oversight,” he says quietly.

Her breathing quickens as he stalks forward, towards her. She dances back a step. “Take your gloves off,” she says, suddenly wanting them gone. He’s still entirely covered, while she is a shift of his shirt from being entirely exposed.

His eyes narrow. “Ask nicely.”

“Please take your gloves off,” she tries again, voice trembling. He does, throwing them down as he reaches her.

His kiss is not sweet, nor is it hesitant this time. He holds her in place, moving her where he wants her, as he relentlessly possesses her lips and tongue. The moan that manages to escape her mouth only seems to encourage him, his hands falling to trace the shape of her breasts beneath his shirt.

He pulls back, leaving her dizzy at the sudden space. She opens her eyes to find his, the lust in them sending goosebumps across her skin. Their connection is weak at the moment, she can feel him vaguely at the periphery of her mind. When she tries to probe further, though, he seems to pull away.

“Go to my bed.” His voice is tight with control when he orders her. She licks her lips, uncertain what to expect from him. Which version of him she will get during these moments seems to vary wildly, and she obeys hesitantly, crossing the short distance to his sleeping quarters.

Jeyna doesn’t hear him follow until the sound of his heavy cloak hitting the floor. She pauses before the bed, turning to see him by the door. He reaches out, smacking the lights off. A narrow rectangle of light is left cast on the floor from the hallway, and she steps back from it, the backs of her legs colliding with the mattress.

“Lay down,” he says. She sits down, scooting backwards.

He’s impatient, kneeling in front of her on the bed to take her hands, and guiding her onto her back. His palms press onto hers, covering her hands as they sink into the blankets near her head. His lips press to hers once before he traps her bottom lip with his teeth, pulling gently until he gets a gasp from her. He nuzzles his nose beneath her chin, urging her to tilt her face up.

She does, and he rewards her with a kiss to the hollow of her throat, his hands sliding down to grip her wrists. His teeth graze at the part of her collarbone that is exposed by the neckline of his shirt, and she feels the tickle of his eyelashes on the skin of her neck. Her pulse is pounding in her veins, her skin singing at his touches.

“Ben…” she whispers, attempting to move her hands. His grip tightens. “Let me touch you…” she pleads. She’s desperate to see more of him, to explore his body more.

“Hmm,” he murmurs, his lips tangling with hers once again. A quick, teasing kiss before he pulls back. “No.”

His hands move from her wrists, trailing to her upper arms, then tracing over her breasts, and down over the material of his shirt. He sits back when his hands reach her legs, spread around him where he kneels. He splays his fingers over the flesh below the hemline, his thumbs stroking her thighs gently.

Jeyna watches his face as he touches her, he’s staring mesmerized at his hands on her skin. Each small brush of his thumbs across the tender skin winds her tighter, her body filled with excitement and apprehension in equal parts. After a moment, his eyes rise to hers. They’re dark, almost black. She feels like she could fall into them.

“Can I?” Ben asks, his fingertips trailing higher, playing under the edge of the shirt.

She licks her lips, her heart pounding as she’s suddenly afraid. Self-consciousness fills her as she’s painfully aware of how intently he’s looking at her, as if memorizing the sight of her legs trembling under his large hands.

He leans back over her, kissing her, sweeter this time. “It’s okay…” he whispers, lips brushing hers. “We can stop.”

“No,” she says instantly, her hands flying to his face to hold him there as she kisses him, urgently. “Please.”

He pulls back, and his eyes search hers. She feels his presence in her mind, pressing a little heavier, searching for reassurement. _Please…_ she thinks. _Don’t stop…_ She doesn’t want her fear to get in the way. She wants more.

Ben’s hands inch higher, hiking the shirt up as they go. His eyes trail away from hers, focusing on the receding edge of the clothing as it rides higher and higher. She feels her brain slipping away as quickly as the material rises, giving into desire.

When she is bare to him, his lips part. His tongue darts out to lick his lips, his breathing noticeably heavier. She swallows hard, the anticipation and vulnerability of the moment filling her with tension.

He spreads her legs further, his hands urging her open to him. He strokes her inner thighs, before his fingers ghost over her lips, trailing into her slit to collect the moisture that gathered there.

“You’re wet…” he murmurs. His fingers brush again, learning her body as he traces from her entrance to her clit. Her head rocks back at the sensation, at the sight of his pale hand touching her. She’d thought of this so many times, and fought away the thought just as many.

She watches as he drops down suddenly, his head between her thighs, eyes locking onto hers. Her mouth falls open as his broad tongue licks a stroke up her slit. She vaguely registers the faint noise from him as he repeats the motion, lingering at her clit. She fights the urge to close her eyes as his storming pupils challenge hers, his tongue flicking experimentally at the bundle of nerves.

Her hips buck as she feels a tremor of pleasure, a gasp escaping her. He moves, lifting her legs onto his shoulders, locking them in place there as he locks his mouth over her core. She’s aware of him watching her, studying the way she responds to the movements of his tongue, as he lingers at the edges of her mind, spying on her thoughts.

She’s never felt someone’s mouth on her like this before. The sensations are so foreign and intimate, she’s breathless, her hands digging into the sheets to try to anchor herself. The world has become his hot lips and tongue, pushing her higher and higher.

Her eyes clamp closed as he finds the perfect rhythm, a moan twisting from her as the pleasure builds. Ben feels her response, and sticks to the motion with focused dedication.

Her hips begin jerking as he continues, her pelvis lifted into his mouth. She forces her eyes open to peak at the obscene sight. The view of his face buried in her, his dark hair spilling onto her skin, nearly sends her over the edge. And still his eyes are taking her in, watching her carefully.

She’s held captive by the tendrils of pleasure, twisting tighter, building higher. He drops her hips to free a hand, pulling his mouth from her to slide two fingers into her. She cries out, his fingers are longer and thicker than hers, and he curls them to stroke her inner wall. She’s so sensitive that it is almost too much to fight the inevitable tipping point that looms, even as she feels him hit her inner spot more gently.

Jeyna’s vaguely aware that his name is escaping her between quick gasps, her mind swimming in arousal, when his fingers still inside her. His lips surround her clit, sucking gently, before his tongue resumes swirling over the spot. It sends her careening over the edge almost instantly. She has enough sense to smother the scream that escapes her with her fist, pushing it tightly to her mouth. Her muscles clench down onto his fingers as her body spasms, lost in the waves of ecstasy.

When she comes back down, she opens her eyes to his gaze, still hungry. But she sees something else in his eyes, as he looks to be fighting to control himself. And behind that, a ghost of something resembling fear. Something has changed, shifted. His mood is suddenly darker.

“Ben?” she asks quietly, sitting up, confused. Why does he look to be struggling so hard for restraint? When just moments ago he’d been the one driving her away from it?

She reaches for him, but he pulls back completely from her, his hands clenching into fists as he distances himself. She tugs the shirt firmly back down over herself, her face falling as his expression becomes distraught. “I can’t…I just almost slipped up,” he says.

“What do you mean?”

He looks away from her, shaking his head slightly. “The Knights…I think they've been trying to get into my head lately, when my defenses are down, and just now..." He trails off, looking forlorn. "If they sensed how weak I am with you… They might challenge me.”

She frowns, her brain still addled as she tries to follow him. “How would they sense it?” she asks, before groaning. “Do they read minds, too?”

Ben nods, before explaining, “As long as I am not too distracted, I can keep them out of our heads. I've never struggled with it before, they must be pushing harder.”

Jeyna sighs, shifting back from him, and attempting to straighten herself. She can see his hands clenching and unclenching, rhythmically, as he works to settle his energy. It’s turned chaotic as he struggles to suppress himself, and she tries to give him space. She can’t deny the disappointment that surges in her, even as she understands the new threat the Knights pose. How strange that they were posted outside as a protection, but would turn on him so quickly.

“So even your allies here, aren’t really allies,” she says softly. He finally returns his gaze to hers.

“I have never had a real ally,” he admits. “But I need their loyalty for as long as I can keep it… And if they saw into my head, when I’m with you…I’d lose them.”

His eyes look so torn, she wants to reach for him but stops herself. He stands suddenly, pacing away from her before seeming to decide something. “I’ll be back soon,” he says.

“What?” she asks, standing as well. “I can go back to my quarters, Ben. You don’t have to flee your own room.”

He gives her an apologetic look. “No, I only need to focus on something else. If I stay here now, I won’t be able to stop.”

Jeyna shakes her head. “That’s ridiculous. I’ll just go.”

She makes to turn towards the refresher, to retrieve her own clothes, but he stops her. “No, please. I want you to be here when I get back,” he says, his voice almost pleading. She searches his expression, finding utter misery in his eyes. She doesn’t have the heart to argue.

**Much Later**

Jeyna doesn’t fully wake up when he comes back, slipping into the bed beside her. She vaguely registers his scent, that he smells clean as if he’s just showered. She is content to feel his arm wrap around her, his breath stirring the hair that lays against her neck. She falls back into a heavier sleep.


	27. Ch. 27

Her nightmares begin, the same as they always do, with explosions and fire. She chokes on smoke, and longs to scream even as she can’t find her voice. But then they shift, drastically, to something different. There is a flash of green, and that painful feeling of betrayal sinks into her. A storm rolls in, and though she can’t see anything but black, she hears the thunder. It echoes in her brain for a long time, building louder, until silence takes over.

Her new dream appears slowly to her, shapes taking their form gradually. She somehow knows she is dreaming, as she also knows this place is not familiar to her. She’s in someone’s home… It is decorated warmly, cozy, but she feels cold.

She’s standing in front of a door, and it is tall and forbidding. The doorknob is at eye level, her hand is so small. Is that her hand? It doesn’t seem right. She is reaching for the doorknob, even though she knows she shouldn’t go into this room. But their voices stop her.

“He could have killed Lando!” The man’s voice is angry. And she knows, instinctively, that she’s made him angry. This is her fault.

“He heard you two arguing, he was scared! He didn’t understand-” The woman’s voice sounds desperate, full of pain. Her hand drops as shame fills her. She’s disappointed her again. Her heart sinks.

“He threw him through a window! He can’t lash out at people every time he is afraid-”

“He thought he was going to hurt you, the way he was shouting! He’s just a little boy, he doesn’t understand!”

“He is going to kill someone if he doesn’t learn to control it. He needs to be trained. We can’t handle him.” The man’s voice is final, and the tears overflow from her eyes, her chest hurting. He doesn’t want her anymore. She’s done it again, without meaning to. Every time she tries to be good, she messes it up.

“Han, he is too young-” the woman starts to protest weakly, but he interrupts her.

“I’m not going to sit by and watch my son become a monster. We are sending him to Luke.”

She tries to drag herself awake from the painful dream, even as it fades. The word monster is pounding in her chest, tendrils of pain reaching out from her heart. When she finally snaps her eyes open, it is still dark. Ben is sleeping beside her, she can make out his dark hair flopped over his eyes, his face half buried in a pillow.

Tears make her eyes burn as she fights the urge to wake him, to comfort him. Does he even know his dream has slipped through to her? How does she begin to comfort him over what is likely a horrible memory? His face looks relaxed, and she decides to let him sleep. The dream has already passed, and she is uncertain he’d even want to talk about it.

She tries to calm down, watching him sleep. Her heart aches, but eventually her eyes grow tired again, watching him breathe deeply. When she falls back asleep, the dreams stay away for a long time.

**Morning**

The noise of the comms panel near the front door going off wakes her, even as she stubbornly turns her face into his pillow to try to hang onto the retreating grasp of sleep. She hears his voice coming from the living quarters, and then silence falls again.

The bed moves as he climbs onto it, and she feels the brush of his fingertips moving her hair back from her face. He lines her neck with small kisses before reaching her cheek.

“Time to wake up,” he breathes.

Jeyna rolls around to face him, reaching to pull him to her. The soft chuckle that leaves his chest vibrates against her face, as she pushes herself into him. “No…” she mutters, stubborn in her sleepiness.

Her hands find the edges of his shirt, and she slides her fingertips up underneath, tracing his skin in random patterns. He lets her, until her hands find the waist of his bottoms, casuals he had slept in. She dares to slip her fingertips under the band, finding the shape of his hip before he grabs her hands.

“Behave,” he warns lowly, removing her searching touch.

She groans as sleep finally vanishes entirely from her brain, remembering the previous day’s discovery. The Knights of Ren are on board, and they can’t be allowed to see into Ben’s mind. If they did, she wonders, what would make them turn on him? Would they see he is not ruled by the dark side, if given that glimpse inside his thoughts?

Jeyna peeks at him, finding his hair tossled and messy. His eyes are light in the morning, the honey brown shade pronounced as he meets her gaze. He smiles, just a lazy twitching of his lips upward.

She feels her heart lift at the sight. The small action makes his beauty so much brighter. She can’t stop herself, climbing onto his lap to straddle him, her hands reaching up to his hair to comb it back from his face.

“The droid is fully functional. We should get to it soon,” Ben says slowly, even as his hands rise up the backs of her thighs, sliding under the borrowed shirt she still wears to cup her bottom.

“Of course,” she agrees, but her hands are tracing his features. Jeyna guides her thumb along his cheekbone, her fingertips down to his angular jaw. His eyes fall closed as he lets his head fall back against the pillows. She’s looking at his lips, full and soft and inviting.

“Behave,” he repeats gently. “I don’t have the energy to train again already.”

“Is that where you went? To train?” she asks. Her mind supplies the images for her, of sweat and muscles beneath clinging black clothes. Of the shower afterwards, that she had smelled on his skin as he’d climbed into the bed besides her. Her imagination fills in the gaps, how he’d look with his hair drenched, how she’d lick the water droplets from his skin with her tongue. She doesn’t bother fighting her lust, losing herself in the fantasies as she licks her lips while staring at his.

Ben groans, his hands moving to grip her hips suddenly, tightly. “You mean to torture me,” he mutters, eyes slitting open to give her a glare.

“What?” she asks innocently.

“Your mind is filthy,” he accuses, rolling her suddenly so she finds herself pinned beneath him. He bends down, his mouth hovering near her ear. “As soon as we get what we need from Nar Shaddaa, I’m taking you back to that planet you liked so much.”

Her heart pounds at the threat. “What would you take me there for?”

Jeyna’s eyes fall closed as his fingers rise between her legs, brushing against her. “You know exactly what I would take you there for. You’ve imagined it a dozen different ways, haven’t you?”

His voice is husky, emotional, before he caresses her lips with his. Her heart is stammering inside her chest with the accusation, even as she knows it is true. She breaks away from his kiss to argue defensively, “You’ve thought of it too.” She’d seen it, when their minds had been connected and they had gotten lost in a shared fantasy. He laughs, the sound is enthralling to her. She wants to hear it again, but he captures her in a kiss that quickly becomes heated.

He breaks it off, pulling back. “But for now, I think we should focus on the droid.” She sighs, flopping her head back onto the pillow in exasperation.

**Later**

“Greetings, Master. And Master’s meatbag,” the droid greets them as they enter the maintenance bay.

“Greetings, HK,” Jeyna replies. Ben says nothing, picking up the maintenance report that’s been left on the workstation to scroll through the notes.

“Do you remember who programmed you to serve me, if your primary master is dead?” she asks curiously.

“Correction: My primary master is absent, not dead,” the droid replies. She frowns. It’s been thousands of years since Revan’s time. Doubtless no matter what happened to him after leaving known space, he is surely dead. She catches Ben’s gaze above the datapad, and he quirks an eyebrow at her curiously.

“But who programmed you with your current directives?” She pushes. “Was it Revan?”

The droid’s red eyes are unnerving to her, and she looks away. She’s never encountered a droid that is so unsettling before, its body tall and clearly built to be resilient, its eyes suggesting malice even as she reassures herself that it is only a droid. It cannot have a will of its own beyond its programming.

“Explanation: The last secondary master I served programmed me to wait on Nar Shaddaa. That was the Exile, Meetra Surik.”

She’s surprised by the revelation. “Why did Surik want you to wait on Nar Shaddaa?”

“Conjecture: I believe it was so I would show you to Revan’s vault on the moon,” the droid admits. “However, be assured I can be of much more service to you than a simple guide. I am a highly capable unit, programmed to infiltrate wherever you should need me to go, and put an end to hostilities. You need only to provide a target.”

“I’m sure she finds that highly reassuring,” Ben comments sarcastically, interrupting. “But can you take us to this vault?”

The droid turns its head towards him. “I do not serve you, Meatbag.”

Jeyna is amused to see him roll his eyes slightly, looking annoyed. “Can you take us to the vault, HK?” she repeats. The droid makes a noise that can only be described as a huff. She’s never heard such a sound issue from something made of only metal before.

“Reluctant confirmation: Of course, Master. I would be thrilled to accompany you on such a mission. Perhaps there we will encounter something you need killed.”

**Approaching Nar Shaddaa**

She stays in the cockpit with him during the flight down to the smuggler’s moon. They take the black command shuttle, accompanied by two other shuttles loaded with stormtroopers and two more Knights of Ren. She can tell these Knights are different only by the weapons they carry, and their masks.

The sight of the First Order ships surrounding the space around the moon fills her with tension. “Has there been any problems with the blockade?” she asks. Hopefully they can end it soon, before any struggles with the Hutts or other crime syndicates.

“Nothing I can’t manage,” he replies, and she cringes at the sound of his voice, once again distorted by the helmet.

The coordinates the droid provided takes them to a rundown lower level of the moon, nearly abandoned. When they disembark the ship it is as dark as night outside. Jeyna realizes they are on the dark side of the moon, as it is tidally locked to Nal Hutta. The few lights down this low to the surface are covered in grime or broken, so they proceed onward in the shadows.

He orders the stormtroopers to establish a perimeter as HK assures them they are almost there, approaching what looks to be a dilapidated cantina. They enter the building, and it is falling apart inside. Dirt covers every surface, and it looks like over time someone has broken in and trashed the place. Tables and chairs are broken apart, and graffiti decorates the bar and walls.

They pass through a storage room in the back, entering a forgotten alley way. It looks like the only way to get to it is through the storage room of the cantina, and the alley is otherwise bare. The droid strides forward faster, raising its hand to strike a sign down from the wall, the writing on it too corroded to make out. Jeyna squints at what is revealed, however.

A small security pad is mounted to the ferrocrete. HK wastes no time punching in a very long code, and she stumbles back in surprise when the entire wall begins to shudder. It groans as it slides upwards, the hidden gears sounding stiff from disuse.

Where the wall had been, is now a large doorway into what appears to be a small room, bare except for a lever.

“What is this, HK?” she asks, hesitantly. She flinches as the two Knights come into her peripheral vision, standing at either side of the space. She had nearly forgotten they were stalking along behind her and Ben, they were so silent.

“The elevator, Master. It is quite far down. Shall we begin the descent?” the droid asks, stepping into the newly revealed space. Its metal arm reaches out, hovering over the lever.

She looks to Ben, her nerves getting the better of her. Something about this is creeping her out, her intuition telling her not to find what is hidden beneath their feet. His mask turns towards her, silent for a minute.

When he answers, it is not what she wanted to hear. “We’ve come this far. We should continue.”


	28. Ch. 28

The droid was not exaggerating when it said the vault was far down. The minutes pass as Jeyna listens to the cranking of the lift, the worry building in her the farther they drop into Nar Shaddaa. She is at least relieved he ordered the Knights to stay behind, at the entrance to the elevator. She’d be even more uncomfortable sharing the small space with them.

They finally shudder to a stop, the door opening to reveal a hall in front of them. She barely catches a glimpse of it before Ben throws an arm out, flinging her with the force behind him. His body crowds her into the corner of the elevator, his saber suddenly igniting in his hand. She attempts to peer around his massive, black-clad shoulders to see what prompted his actions.

“Observation: The defense turrets appear inactive, Master,” HK announces.

“What other defensive weaponry is down here?” Ben snarls through his mask. “Is there anything else you neglected to mention?”

“Irritated Explanation: The defense system of the vault should not activate against us, as long as we do not become hostile. Musing: It appears the engine has become dormant. Likely this means the turrets and droids are offline,” the droid offers.

“You didn’t think to warn us about a defense system?” Jeyna asks, irritated. She manages to push past Ben’s arm to see around him. There are indeed two massive laser turrets mounted ahead, flanking a closed door, though both are coated in cobwebs from disuse.

“Repetition: The defensive system does not activate unless hostile actions are taken. I did not think a warning was necessary.”

She sighs, fighting the urge to give a sarcastic reply to the droid. Ben steps from the elevator, finally deactivating his lightsaber when the turrets do not move against them. Jeyna follows, taking tentative steps along the hall until she joins him near the large door.

“What engine are you talking about?” she asks HK.

The droid approaches them as it answers. “The infinite engine, Master.”

Her eyebrows raise in confusion, but the assassin droid pushes a button on the wall, and the door opens before them. She doesn’t have a chance to inquire further about the engine before her breath leaves her at the sight ahead.

The room beyond the doorway is massive, and littered with skeletons. They lay, in no discernable pattern, clustered about the room. Some are near the ancient looking computer systems, coated with a layer of aged grime. Others are near the furniture, seating and tables that makes the great space look like a headquarters for some sort of operation.

Ben is silent as he takes one step, then two into the room. She can’t see his face beneath the mask, but she can feel his unease through their faint connection. For every bit of unease he’s feeling, she is experiencing horror. HK doesn’t seem as bothered, however. The droid marches forward, its metal foot coming down on what looks like a femur of the closest skeleton, snapping the brittle bone in half.

She gasps out, “Can you not step on them, HK?!”

“I assure you, Master, they cannot feel pain. You see, they are already dead,” the droid replies, its sarcastic tone making her despise it in the moment.

“These are Ongree,” Ben says, from where he’s kneeled beside one set of bones, inspecting them. “You can tell from the skull, it looks upside down.” She forces herself to look closer, noticing the bizarrely shaped skull he is referring to on the alien skeletons.

“Why are they here? What happened to them?” she asks. “HK?”

“Query: Master, how should I know what happened to them? I was not here after they were closed into the vault to witness their fate,” it answers her. “Conjecture: It would appear they died, some time after allowing the engine to become dormant.”

“Why were they closed into the vault?!” she demands, before taking a deep breath to try to settle herself. “I need you to tell me everything you know about this place, HK.”

“Master, it is such a dreadfully dull story. Wouldn’t you rather find something you’d like killed?” The droid’s head tilts as its red eyes examine her. Jeyna glares back at it.

“Answer her, or I turn you into scrap metal,” Ben threatens as he stands, the mask transforming his voice into a low, reverberating growl.

“Mockery: Oh, no. My chassis is trembling,” the droid retorts, before conceding. “Very well, Master. My primary Master closed his loyal servants into the vault, to maintain and guard his infinite engine. Theoretically, if they had followed his directions, they would have been more than able to survive many generations in here. Though it would appear something went wrong.”

“What is the infinite engine?” she presses.

“Explanation: The engine distorts physical constants, allowing the manipulation of energy to generate matter. It requires small amounts of input, which it uses to create large amounts of output,” the droid says.

“That sounds like it breaks the laws of physics,” Ben argues.

“I assure you, the engine works. My Master used it during the Jedi Civil War, to supply his entire fleet. The Republic destroyed the Star Forge the Rakatan Empire left behind, but Master saved the most vital part of the Forge and brought it here, to hide it.”

Jeyna’s mind is racing as she tries to understand. Revan had used the Star Forge when he was a Sith, against the Republic and Jedi Order. But he had turned sides, assisting in destroying the Star Forge later. Why would he take the engine that ran it? Why save that part, and hide it on Nar Shaddaa, of all places?

“What was Revan’s goal in hiding the engine here?” she asks, searching the large space they stand in. She can see corridors leading away, before her eyes fall back to the piles of bones. She winces, looking back to HK as he answers.

“Master, I do not know.”

“How were the Ongree servants supposed to maintain it?” Ben asks. The droid surveys him for a moment, before apparently deciding to humor him with a response.

“Explanation: They were instructed to give their children and their dead to the engine. It would in turn provide them with food, water, or anything else they should need for supplies within the vault. It is capable of generating anything required, Master.”

Jeyna’s mind feels stuck on the words as she understands what the droid is implying. The servants were told to sacrifice their children to the device. Her horror at the discovery only grows. How could Revan order his followers to do such a thing? She realizes, suddenly, how biased her view of him must be. She’s been researching him for so long, she’s distorted him into something like a fairytale hero. But no hero would shut a group of individuals into a sealed vault, and tell them their only way to survive is to kill their own progeny. The realization turns her stomach.

“Where is the engine?” Jeyna vaguely registers the sound of Ben asking the question, distracted as she is.

“In the core of the vault. I can take you there now, Master?” the droid suggests. When a minute passes and she still has failed to answer it, it repeats, “Master?”

“Yes,” she spits out, forcing herself to focus. “Yes, let’s go there.” She is in a hurry to get what they need, and get away from this terrible place. The longer she stands there, the longer she imagines being one of the Ongree. Locked into a prison, and given an impossible mission. It is no wonder they failed.

**Core of Revan’s Vault**

They passed many more skeletons on their way to the core, and Jeyna grits her teeth as she steps over one to enter the center of the hidden base. There is a star map, a holocron, and a large device she can only assume is the infinite engine.

Ben’s helmet stays turned towards it longer than necessary, and she guesses he is intrigued by it. “Please don’t tell me you want to use that thing,” she says quietly.

The mask looks to her before shaking once. “Not necessarily. I wouldn’t mind understanding how it works, however…”

“We should destroy it,” she says definitively. Revan should have allowed it to be destroyed with the rest of the Star Forge, millennia ago. The fact that he saved it, and hid it here, infuriates her. In the wrong hands, it’s power could be catastrophic. It could be used to power an endless supply of weaponry and ships, fueling never ending war and destruction.

“Perhaps,” he says offhandedly. She levels the metal part of his mask with a glare.

“You can’t let the First Order know it is here,” she insists. “Please, Ben.”

He is silent for a long moment. “I understand your fears. We will leave it here, for now,” he says finally. She sighs, not content with the response. She would like to set explosives on the thing and blow it into pieces, if that were even possible. She hears a sigh filter through his helmet. “I do not want to destroy it without understanding it. This is an ancient technology,” he explains.

“Promise me. Promise you won’t let the First Order use it,” she demands. He had said he only wanted to use the First Order for the time being to further his own goals. Surely he wouldn’t hand something as powerful as the engine over to them?

“I have no intentions of allowing them to have it,” he confirms. His words don’t abate her nervousness however, as she is imagining the potential it has to be used against anyone.

He must hear her thoughts, as he finally looks away from the engine, the mask fixating on her. “Do you still trust me?” he asks.

She nods slowly. “Then let’s get what we’ve come for. We can decide what to do with the engine later,” he suggests.

She sighs, turning from him to approach the holocron. She kneels beside it, laying her hand on its side. It opens, like the others before it, projecting a planet that rotates slowly in the air.

Jeyna furrows her brow, at a complete loss for which world she is looking at. It is covered in muddy colored swirls, looking barren and lifeless. The surface has some great craters, but is otherwise featureless.

“I do not know this world,” Ben admits. “Do you?”

She shakes her head. “It’s not one I’ve ever seen before,” she says slowly, curious.

He scans it with his datapad, before copying the star map as well. “The map is nearly complete,” he says. “One more section, and we should be able to use it.”

“Assuming we figure out what planet the next section is on…” Jeyna replies. “I don’t suppose you know, HK?”

“The image did not match anything in my memories, Master,” the droid answers.

**Leaving the Vault**

The ride back to the surface of Nar Shaddaa is silent, and Jeyna doesn’t attempt to fill the quiet. Her mind is imagining the planet that had spun above the holocron, struggling to place it. It must be very remote for her to have never seen it in any of her research. But if it is so remote, why would Revan choose it for the final map location?

The elevator door grinds open when they arrive back at the alleyway. The Knights are waiting there, and Jeyna steps out after Ben to follow them back through the cantina, HK bringing up the rear of the group. They’ve barely exited the building when the feeling hits her.

She passes through the doorway, back onto the streets of Nar Shaddaa, when it feels like all of the blood from her head has suddenly dropped. Her brain is left dizzy, starved for oxygen, as her vision begins to swirl. She feels as though her body is spinning counter to the world as she tries to focus her eyesight, the ground tilting up towards her.

She staggers sideways, and the only thing that saves her from a harsh collision with a ferrocrete wall is Ben’s reflexes. He grabs her, the helmet transforming his noise of alarm into a buzz of static.

“Jeyna? What’s happening?” he demands, even as she lets her knees collapse in an attempt to sit down. He guides her to a gentler landing than she’d have managed alone, half holding her upright to sit with her back against the wall. She doesn’t answer him, fighting to clear her head even as her skull protests a sudden, crushing pressure. “Jeyna!?”

She feels the presence in her mind suddenly, without warning. It doesn’t gradually build, the way Ben’s presence does. This intrusion is rapid, slamming into her full force. Her ears buzz painfully, as if someone is yelling too loudly and deeply for them to register actual sound.

Jeyna flinches, attempting to cover her ears against the pain as her stomach flips, threatening nausea.

“Jeyna!? Who is it? I can’t block them!” The frantic, urgent quality to his voice leaks through, but she ignores it. Her head is in a vice grip, tightening every second. Her vision fades, the black around the edges blurring in to smear with the black of his cloak, mingling until her eyes are met with a wall of darkness.

She can dimly feel Ben’s hands digging into her shoulders as he is speaking to her, but she can’t register the words. Only the mechanical tone of the mask, making nonsense noises that her brain can’t decipher. The presence in her mind demands her attention, and threatens to destroy her now flimsy grip on consciousness.

Her lips part, her tongue feels thick as her brain attempts to forge one last connection to the rest of her body. She has to say it, even as she has no idea what sound is trying to force itself from her lips.

“Nathema.” The word is only a whisper, and she barely recognizes her own voice gasping it out. Her senses are completely disconnected, leaving only her panic at the presence that fills her skull, pushing her own existence into the edges of reality.

When it finally, mercifully, withdraws, she disappears with it into the void.


	29. Ch. 29

There is nothing, and she is no one, for a very long time. But eventually, Jeyna becomes aware of herself again. The blackness around her flashes with her pain, a dull throbbing that feels like it is the entirety of her world at the moment.

There is a thought, lingering there within her brain. It isn’t hers, and yet she can’t hear the voice that speaks it: _I didn’t mean to harm you…_

Her brain is functioning enough now for her to reach out, with her limited access to the force, to try to grab onto that distant thought and track it to the source. And yet when she tries, all she feels is the void, empty and cold. It seems to acknowledge her attempt, and it communicates with her again.

_You are weak with the force, and it was too much. Let me show you what will become of the galaxy, in a way that you can understand._

Jeyna is alone with the darkness for only a moment more, before she sees it. The seed sprouts before her eyes, pushing its stalk upwards as its roots sink down. She watches it grow, flourishing into its full being. But more than that, she can feel it. She feels the energy within its cells, the current that is life pulsing within it. She understands that this is only a small part, in a very large web, and yet it is also everything, contained in this one living thing.

She feels it when the energy is pulled from every last cell of the plant. The energy isn’t just transferred, it is completely removed from existence. The connections to the web are broken, the life turned to something worse than death. It isn’t killed, it is undone. Removed as if it never were.

The plant turns to nothingness before her eyes, the color fading, the matter disintegrating before it vanishes. There is a wound that remains, a hole left where once a small part of a large thing had been. And she feels it, when all along the web, similar events occur. The wounds spread, the shockwaves they send out colliding and destroying. There is nothing left, nothing of the energy that once was. The web has been undone.

_You have to find me. It is the only way to stop it._

When the visions end, the darkness takes back over her mind. Her thoughts fade, and she surrenders to nothingness.

**Two Days Later**

When Jeyna finally opens her eyes, the harsh light makes her wince. She turns her face into unfamiliar, rough textured sheets. Alarmed, she flips over onto her side, only to be greeted by the sight of a medical droid by the narrow bed. Behind it, a woman she has never met before looks shocked, jumping up from her bedside seat.

“Send for the Supreme Leader! She’s awake!” she calls. Jeyna sees a man go rushing from behind a console, to exit the nearby security door.

It only takes a moment of looking at her surroundings, the design of the dark floor and walls, for Jeyna to understand she is back on the ship.

“You must feel confused,” the woman says, stepping closer. She’s older, her hair pulled back into a tight bun. She waves a hand at the droid, and it floats further away. “You’re in a private room of the medical bay, on board the Finalizer. You became ill suddenly while on a mission to Nar Shaddaa, and were brought back here.”

“Where’s B-Ren? Where is Ren?” Jeyna asks, almost slipping up when saying his name. Her voice is hoarse with lack of use, and she swallows painfully.

The woman looks nervous at the question. “He’ll be here any minute! He’s never gone for long.”

Her head is pounding, but she nods slowly, taking in the other woman’s uniform. “Are you a nurse?” she asks.

“Yes. We were transferred from the Supremacy to take over your care,” the woman answers.

Jeyna would find that to be curious, if she felt better. Her mouth is ridiculously dry, her tongue nearly sticking to the roof of her mouth. Her throat feels like it’s raw. “I’m sorry, could I have some water? Please?” she asks hesitantly.

The nurse jumps immediately to retrieve it for her. “Of course! Is there anything else you need!?” She brings a small glass, holding it up to Jeyna’s lips, even as she tries to take it for herself. “Painkillers? Are you feeling alright? We weren’t able to find anything wrong with you to explain the coma,” she rambles, clearly full of anxiety. “Nothing showed up on scans, there were no injuries or abnormalities-”

“Coma?” Jeyna spits out, splashing some water down her chin. The nurse immediately tries to wipe it for her, even as she flinches back.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you. Please don’t be upset when the Supreme Leader gets here,” she says quickly, looking back fearfully at the security door.

“I was in a coma? For how long?” Jeyna asks, her voice rising.

“Only two days-”

“Two days!” Jeyna interrupts her, eyes widening. What had happened to her? How had she just lost two entire days? She’d had some odd dreams, sure, but it definitely didn’t feel like two days had passed by. She frowns at the thought of the dreams, trying to remember. Her stomach sinks, goosebumps erupting across her arms, as the memory fights to return.

“I’m sorry!” the nurse apologizes, her voice sounding close to panic. “Please, is there anything else you need? We did all we could, I’m so sorry-”

“Stop apologizing!” Jeyna snaps loudly, before wincing with guilt. “I’m sorry, I don’t feel quite well. But it’s not your fault, why are you apologizing so much?”

The nurse’s eyes are wide with terror. “Your last medical team didn’t take your condition seriously enough for the Supreme Leader. They’re all in beds in the medical bay themselves, now! But I told him, there was nothing we could find. I didn’t know what else to do!”

She frowns sympathetically, feeling bad for the woman who is clearly terrified of Kylo Ren. “Well I’m okay now, so I don’t think you have to worry,” she tries to console her. The nurse nods, but still looks just as nervous.

Jeyna closes her eyes slowly, letting her head fall back onto the lumpy pillow once more as she tries to catch herself up. The image of the plant being drained of energy fills her mind, the dreams refusing to stay in her subconscious. But where had the dreams come from? Who had shared them with her?

She doesn’t have long to contemplate before the security door opens. The nurse jerks as if startled, whirling to face the doorway. Jeyna opens her eyes to see him, dressed fully as Kylo Ren, his tall body filling in the frame of the door as he hovers there. She feels his presence surge in her mind before he restrains himself, his emotions leaking through to her. She feels the relief and anxiety, the tightness that grips his chest, as if it is her own.

He steps closer to her bed. “Out. Now,” he orders.

The nurse doesn’t need to be told twice, practically throwing herself to the door to escape. It shuts behind her, and he immediately rips the helmet from his head.

Ben’s eyes look agonized as they land on hers, his jaw working as he tries to suppress his emotions. He surprises her when he comes forward, collapsing to the chair by her bedside and burying his face against her chest, above her heart. His arms wrap around her, tangling in the sheets as he clings onto her. She frowns, feeling guilty that he is upset despite it being out of her control. She still doesn’t fully understand what happened to her, but she does her best to comfort him, gently stroking his hair.

“I’m okay,” she says softly after a long moment. He jerks, lifting his face to look at her, and the raw pain in his eyes makes her breath catch. He says nothing, his jaw looking like he's clenching it painfully tight. “I’m okay now,” Jeyna repeats uncertainly.

“Who did it?” he asks. His voice is low, but it holds a furious note in the question.

“I don’t know,” she says honestly. “But they said they didn’t mean to harm me-”

“I don’t care what they meant. I’ll kill them,” he interrupts.

“Ben,” she says pleadingly, uncertain how to defuse him. She pushes his hair back from his face, letting her hand linger against his skin. He pushes his cheek more firmly against her palm, searching her gaze.

“They could have destroyed your mind. I felt it, but I couldn’t stop it,” he says.

“They were trying to show me something,” she says. “It was important. They said I have to find them.”

Fury flashes in his eyes as she sees the muscles in his face lock, his teeth gritting. She feels the buzz of aggression through their connection, even as he tries to hold it back from her. “You aren’t finding anything. I’m taking you away from here. There’s places I can hide you, where they won’t be able to find you in the force.”

Jeyna shakes her head automatically, sitting up in the bed. “No, you don’t need to do that. I don’t think they’ll hurt me again, it was an accident-”

The chair topples backwards as he shoves himself out of it, standing. “It doesn’t matter,” Ben insists, voice rising slightly with anger. “I’m not letting that happen again.”

“You said you wouldn’t make my decisions for me anymore,” Jeyna points out quietly.

His eyes darken, hands curling into fists as he turns from her, energy surging. She can feel the unstable power emanating from him, like electricity crackling in the air. Her hair feels like it’s standing up at the roots, chills shooting across her skin. “Ben…” she tries again, hesitantly.

There is a tremor, shaking the bed. The chair rattles against the floor, the entire room vibrating briefly with an ominous shake. His anger is leeching out, as he apparently can’t contain it.

She flinches when his fist connects with the wall, the metal giving in to the impact as a noticeable dent is left. She jumps up as his fist connects a second time, attempting to catch his arm. “Stop, before you hurt yourself!”

Ben turns his face from her, even as she tries to get closer. She attempts to strengthen their connection, but his energy makes it hard to grasp. “Please, it’s okay,” she says, voice trembling as she reaches up, pulling him back to face her. He relents, stepping towards her even as his posture crumples. He presses his forehead against hers, eyes shut tightly. His breathing is heavy and erratic, and she does her best to hold him steady. “I’m here, and I’m okay, and I’m not going anywhere,” she says slowly. 

“You don’t understand,” he breathes. Their connection in the force flourishes, growing stronger by the second as his chaotic energy fills her. He’s relinquishing control, letting her into his mind as much as he’s been in hers.

Ben’s arms wrap around her as he pulls her tightly into his chest, but it is secondary to the surge of emotion he releases into the bond between them. She gasps at the intensity, even as the memories begin to flow, rushed and scrambled, but all focused on her. She struggles to make sense of them, tumbling over her mind…

She’s looking from his perspective as he walks into the interrogation room. He’d instantly detected her relief at the sight of him. He’d assumed they must have broken her, to feel relief at the presence of a monster. But then he felt it, the curiosity within her, her mind intriguing him.

The memory shifts, and she sees her own face, enthralled as she first saw him without his mask. He had been fighting a pull to her, drawn to her intelligence and subtle strength… he’d told himself she’d only ever see him as a creature that lurked beneath a mask, stealing her thoughts. And yet when her eyes landed on him, there was no fear or repulsion. He was shocked to feel her attraction to him.

It spins again, and his desire is surging, as she sees herself on the last night they’d spent on Kashyyyk. The firelight glows off her damp skin as she’d pulled her soaking clothes off. He’d been unable to tear his gaze away until she’d snapped at him. He’d tried to memorize the sight of her, exposed and beautiful, and so shy about it.

The memory shuffles rapidly as his control weakens, and their mouths are meeting on Dxun. His lust rages, he’s barely keeping it together, he wants to consume her until there is nothing left that isn’t his…

She is running across the sand to him… He’s terrified to give her a choice. She’d assured him her feelings hadn’t changed. But he knows if he gives her the chance, she’ll reject him. Instead she chooses him, rising up to press her lips to his. He’s filled with doubt. But as it recedes, hope creeps in. And with it, something so contradictory it almost hurts. It’s as joyful as it is desperate, it is all that matters as it threatens to destroy everything else in its path. He is in love, as completely as she is.

When the memories stop, there is only Ben, and the pull of his energy. He is vulnerable now, and she can truly feel it for the first time. He keeps it covered with loneliness and pain. But when his chaotic emotions subside, she can detect it, bright and strong. The pull to the light.

“I understand,” Jeyna says, voice muffled against his chest. “I love-”

His mouth crashes into hers without warning, forceful and messy. His body forces her backwards, almost colliding with the bed before he pushes her down onto it. He settles between her legs, his lips closing over hers more firmly as he finds a semblance of control. His tongue traces the inside edges of her lips before she meets it with her own.

She struggles to remember what they’d been arguing about, her mind blanking as his free hand searches her body, finding the skin that is exposed by the shifting of her loose clothing with his glove. Their connection is too encompassing, the lust ignored for too long, and she has to fight the instinct to lose herself in it.

She pulls her mouth from his, moaning out his name pleadingly. There are so many reasons this shouldn’t be happening. They had been arguing, it had been important. And the Knights, what if they saw-

“Let them see,” he growls, descending upon her neck. He kisses and bites, sucking at the delicate skin until she gasps, pleasure throbbing in her core. She hears the rip of stitches as he tears at the delicate material of the shirt the nurses must have put her in. The ties along the back give way, and she jerks at the sensation of cool leather against her breasts as his fingers trace her curves.

His hips thrust against hers, and she cries out at the feeling of him, hard, between her legs. Her hands immediately grasp his shirt, pulling, and she has to restrain from reaching farther. Her mind is torn, knowing this has to wait but wanting desperately to pursue this new sensation with him.

She wets her lips, unable to stop the thoughts of wrapping her mouth around him, letting her tongue wander his hard length. His growl is aggressive as he rocks into her again, roughly, crushing her to the sheets beneath him.

Ben grabs her face, forcing her back to him as he kisses her again. Her lips feel swollen against his, as his thoughts blur with her own through their bond, their minds entangling. She surrenders to him, their energy building, her body pressing to his with need. Their kisses become warm and steady, and she feels his love like a physical thing. It courses through her veins, wrapping around her to pull her closer, tingling her nerve endings.

The memory of the web flares suddenly, as if it has a mind of its own. She recalls the feeling of it being undone, disintegrating into nothingness. She doesn’t understand, she can’t process it. Did it even matter?

It is abrupt when he notices the memory of the dream, jerking back from her, his mouth leaving hers wanting.

Jeyna opens her eyes to him, feeling as he replays it within her brain, his eyes flashing with understanding. He shifts, propping himself next to her side, one of his legs staying tangled between hers. She tries to steady her breathing at the sudden change. “That can’t be right…” he mutters.

“It’s what I saw,” she says hesitantly, voice weak and breathy.

“Do you understand it?” He searches her gaze questioningly, his hand rising to caress her cheek. She shakes her head.

“It is the destruction of the galaxy,” Ben says softly. Her heart thuds at the words, and how he sounds so calm uttering them is beyond her. His thumb still grazes her skin absentmindedly. “And the end of the force…”

Jeyna feels like she’s been drenched in cold water as she understands, tearing her gaze away from his in a panic. “Shouldn’t you sound a little more alarmed about that?” she asks. When she returns her eyes to his, he slowly shakes his head.

“I’ve faced worse…” he says offhandedly. She furrows her brow in disbelief.

“Worse than the destruction of the entire galaxy?” She demands, sitting up suddenly. He frowns.

“It could be a lie,” he suggests. “He could be using it to urge you to find him.”

“Find him? Do you know who it was?” she asks with alarm.

Ben’s gaze holds her, steady, calm. He is the calmest she’s ever seen him. She has no idea what has suddenly centered him, but she can bizarrely almost see the change in him, as if it’s a visible shift. His energy isn’t clouded by chaos any longer. He feels clear and focused, his mind open to hers, his eyes warm.

“It can’t be possible,” he admits, shrugging one shoulder. “But there is only one person I can think that would be sending you the order to find him. The one whose holocrons open for you.” 


	30. Ch. 30

Jeyna looks at him before lowering back down against the pillow to stare at the ceiling in disbelief. “It’s been thousands of years…”

He sighs, dropping his hand to rest against her stomach, the black leather a stark contrast against the white patient clothes. “I know. It felt strange, like the consciousness was disconnected…”

“Disconnected how?” she presses, trying to understand. He shakes his head once.

“I can’t say. It was bridging a gap, but I can’t imagine how or what that gap might be. I’ve never felt anything like it,” Ben tries to explain.

“Then we need to figure out what the last planet is. We’ll go there and get the last piece of the map,” Jeyna says definitively. She’s expecting his anger to return, the dents in the wall a visible reminder of his recent temper. But instead he stays calm, his eyes merely searching hers.

After a moment, he drops his head, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. She barely hears his words, muffled against her, as he grumbles, “Wouldn't you rather go back to the planet with the beach?”

She can’t stop the smile from curving her lips at the small sign of his humor emerging. She had no idea it had been lurking there all along. What other parts of his personality were buried, waiting to be revealed?

“You wear too many clothes for the beach,” she replies, scanning the small hospital bed they are practically spilling out of. Her bare feet look bizarrely juxtaposed, resting against his black clad legs.

“I could be persuaded out of them,” he retorts softly. His hand inches lower, fingers grazing the exposed slice of skin between her shirt and bottoms. The touch is light and teasing, and she has to fight the desire to relax under it and entertain his suggestion.

“If we find the destination of the map, you can stop whoever’s been putting voices into your mind. Don’t you want it to end? Your brain can be yours, only yours,” she argues. Surely he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life fighting off invasive thoughts, questioning which belong to him and which don’t?

His hair tickles her skin as he nuzzles closer to her neck. “Not if it means you getting any closer to who hurt you.” His lips trail her skin slowly, playing on the flesh, sending a shooting sensation up her spine.

She sighs in exasperation at his attempts to distract her. “You always ask if I trust you. Shouldn’t that mean you try to trust me, too?”

He doesn’t answer, his mouth still busy as his hand drifts fully under her shirt. “Ben,” she presses, grabbing his hand to hold it still. “If you trust me, you have to believe me. I don’t think he will harm me again. I think the vision was real. We have to find him, whoever he is.” She is still unwilling to believe Revan could be alive after so long, the idea too far fetched for reason. But if the dream was some sort of terrifying prophesy about the end of the galaxy, how could he expect her to ignore it?

His sigh is defeated as he pulls away. “I’m going to be very tempted to murder him, out of sheer frustration.”

She smiles at his dramatic statement, but she doesn’t have a chance to reply before he grabs her hands, trapping them against the mattress as he moves to straddle her.

“What’s to stop me from dragging you out of here, and taking you anywhere I like?” he asks. His voice is threatening, even as his eyes show the playful nature of the question. He bends down to press a quick kiss to her before suggesting, lips lingering close enough to tease hers, “I could lock you up, somewhere safe, and throw away the key.”

His deep voice is rough, and her body responds with instinctive excitement. She tests her hands, and he grips them tighter, not allowing her to move beyond a slight struggle. The sensation thrills her, and she swallows heavily, her head spinning with the effort to stay focused. “You wouldn’t.”

“No? Why not?” Ben demands. She is quiet for a moment, enjoying the feeling of him on top of her, holding her down. Their lips brush once more before she replies. 

“Because you love me,” she whispers. He tilts back from her face, and she catches his gaze with hers. Honey brown, emotional, beautiful.

“I know,” he admits quietly.

**Minutes Later**

She walks out of the refresher wearing standard issue clothing and boots, the items much more substantial than the flimsy clothing he’d half ripped from her body. Ben’s waiting by the door for her, and glances up at the sound of her emerging.

“We can head to my ship,” he admits. “I’m fairly certain I already know where we are going.”

Jeyna frowns as she joins him by the door. She isn’t imagining that he looks a little guilty. “What? How?”

“You said a name, before you lost consciousness. Nathema,” he explains. The sound of the name makes her stomach lurch ominously, even as she has no recollection of saying it herself.

“Why didn’t you mention that earlier?” she wonders.

“I was still hoping I could talk you out of it,” Ben says, dropping his eyes to examine his hands.

“I’ve never heard of a planet called Nathema,” Jeyna says slowly.

“I hadn’t either, and there was no record of it in any standard databases. But I recalled hearing it in your memory. They asked about it during your interrogation.”

She frowns, struggling to remember. Their questions had blurred together after so long without sleep or food. “So how do we find it?” she asks.

“I found a general location,” he replies. “It was in restricted archives, only Snoke would have had access to them. It looks like all mention of the planet was erased from public records a long time ago.”

Her stomach manages to sink even lower, a bad feeling crawling into her mind. Why would an entire planet’s existence be wiped from public record? And how could it be connected to Revan?

“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Ben asks gently. She looks up at his face, and for a moment she wants to back out, fear taking over briefly. But she forces it down, nodding. She won’t stop now. She can feel something, tugging her forward. She isn’t sure if it is fate, or the force, or the person who had planted the dream in her mind. But something is urging her onwards.

He looks tempted to argue for a moment, but visibly stops himself. He reaches to brush her hair back behind her ear, a sad smile gracing his lips for a moment.

“Then let’s go,” he sighs. He opens the door, and Jeyna is about to follow him before she realizes he’s left his helmet, forgotten on the floor by the bed.

“Wait! Your mask!” she says, grabbing his arm to stop him from exiting the room. He pauses, his gaze flickering from her face to drop down to the mask. The bright lights of the room glare off the metal.

When he looks back at her, she is again struck by the calmness of his energy, the quiet confidence that now fills his eyes. “I don’t need it,” he assures her. Her lips part in surprise, even as he takes her hand to pull her from the room.

They see the nurse down the hallway. She freezes as they pass, her mouth dropping open at the sight of Kylo Ren unmasked. Jeyna glances back, the other woman is staring after them, her hand rising to cover her still gaping mouth.

Ben’s hand squeezes hers, and she looks back forward, unable to stop the happiness that fills her chest at the feeling of his hand holding hers as he leads them forward. Whatever is ahead, at least she’ll face it with him.

**Aboard the Command Shuttle**

Jeyna joins him in the cockpit of his shuttle, surprised to see both HK and an astromech droid as they pass through the hold. She settles into a seat near the navigation chart as he primes the shuttle to take off and double checks their hyperspace routes.

“We’re taking HK?” she asks curiously.

“It’s an assassin droid, so it’s combat ready. And for the time being, you’re its master. I figured it might be good to have around, if something happened,” he says.

The ship jerks slightly as they lift up from the floor of the hangar bay. She watches as he guides them out into space, and away from the control center full of First Order officers. They’d barely contained their shocked stares as their Supreme Leader had given them his departing orders, bold even without his mask to hide behind.

“Are we planning on something happening?” Jeyna asks after a moment.

“It’s smart to have backup plans,” he says dismissively. “If something happens to me, the astromech is capable of piloting the shuttle. It will answer to you.”

They jump to hyperspace as he speaks, and Jeyna turns her eyes from the blur of lights beyond the viewport.

“There are no routes directly to where we need to go,” he continues speaking as she eventually closes her eyes, fighting the dizziness hyperspace always brings her. “I know it’s in the Chorlian sector, but beyond that we’ll have to find it the old-fashioned way. The astromech can scan for us, but it might take a while.”

“Should we have brought the Knights?” The thought turns her stomach, which only furthers her current state of nausea. But perhaps they would be helpful, if he is concerned about the mission becoming dangerous.

She hears his seat move as he switches the ship to autopilot. “I don’t think I can trust the Knights any longer.”

She snaps her eyes open as he sits in the navigation seat across from her. “Because of me?” she asks, guilt flooding her.

“No,” Ben denies immediately. “They are loyal to the dark side. It was only a matter of time before they felt the conflict within me.”

She drops her eyes to look at the floor, still feeling partially responsible. Had they caught a glimpse into his mind when he was distracted with her? “How did you do it?” she blurts out suddenly, speaking before her mind can fully form the question.

He raises an eyebrow slightly. “Do what?”

She doesn’t know how to explain her question further. How had he managed to devote himself to the darkness for so long, despite the strength of the light she’d glimpsed in him? How had he fooled the Knights, and hidden his true nature for years?

The ship jerks as they fall out of hyperspace, but neither of them moves. Before she can attempt to rephrase, he must understand her thoughts. “It was all I had,” Ben says quietly. She searches his face, but he doesn’t meet her gaze. “The dark side wanted me.”

Her heart aches at the implication of his words. She tries to stop her thoughts, but they instantly go to Leia, the pain in her voice as she spoke about her son. Jeyna can’t help but imagine Leia’s past, a mother sending her child off in hopes of him learning to use his powers. She’d wanted him to become a Jedi, and instead she’d lost him to the darkness. If Ben could see the memory now, hear how Leia had spoken of him, wouldn’t he know his mother wanted him back?

But as Jeyna continues watching him, she realizes he’s distracted. His head is cocked slightly, the way it is when he is detecting something beyond her senses.

“What is it…?” she asks tentatively.

His eyelids fall closed, a hand reaching out into the air. She watches as his fingers spread slowly, before curling into a fist. Her curiosity grows as he remains silent, frozen like that.

When his eyes snap open and he jerks backward, she flinches. “What’s wrong!?” she exclaims.

His expression darkens, his face tightening. “Luke.”

Her eyes widen with confusion. “What about him?”

“I haven’t been able to feel him for years. He’s hidden from me,” he explains. His voice is low, and strained with repressed emotion. “But he’s reaching out now. He’s searching for me.”


	31. Ch. 31

**Chorlian Sector**

It’s been over an hour since Ben had stormed out of the cockpit. Jeyna is unsure what she should do, taking it as a sign he needs space. The astromech droid has parked itself in front of the instruments panel, scanning for the star system they need.

She tires of watching the blackness of space outside the window, and wanders out into the main hold. HK is waiting there, its red eyes alert and unblinking.

“Greetings, Master.”

“Hello, HK. Did you see where Ben went?” she asks uncertainly, sitting down on a seat.

“The angry meatbag has gone to the garage bay, Master,” the droid replies.

She winces. “Please don’t call him an angry meatbag.” The droid swivels its head towards her.

“Explanation: His biochemical signature indicated a stressed state most commonly associated with anger.”

“Well maybe you could refrain from calling organics meatbags in general,” Jeyna suggests. The droid makes a mechanical huff noise.

“Irritated Explanation: My previous Master delighted in the use of the phrase,” the droid argues. “But for you Master, I will eliminate it from my vocabulator.”

“What was he like, anyway? Revan?” she asks curiously after a few minutes of silence.

“I do not understand the question. Clarification is required,” the droid replies.

“Never mind…” Jeyna lets silence take over the hold, wondering how long it will take them to find Nathema. She hopes it isn’t too long, with only the homicidal robot to talk to. She wonders if Ben still wants to be alone. “Do you think I should go talk to him?” she asks, before rolling her eyes at herself.

“Suggestion: I would be delighted to handle negotiations for you, Master. However, I will require a blaster before commencing.”

She jumps up. “I think I’ll do it myself, HK. But thank you for the offer.”

**Garage Bay**

Jeyna hesitates by the door, watching Ben by the workbench. He seems to be working on his lightsaber, an array of tools spread out in front of him. She doesn’t speak up, content to observe him focused on his task. His lightsaber is interesting to her, for multiple reasons. She suspects he modified the design to accommodate the broken kyber crystal, but she wonders where he got the ideas. She doesn’t recall seeing anything similar to it in the sketches she’d seen of ancient Sith or Jedi designs.

“I found the schematics for it, mixed in with materials scavenged off Malachor,” he says suddenly, without looking up. He’s using a small tool on what she thinks might be a focusing lens, and she is surprised by how dexterous his hands seem. “I don’t like when you hold back from saying what you are thinking,” he reminds her.

“I was trying to not be intrusive,” she says quietly, walking forward to see more of what he’s doing.

“You aren’t intruding. I just needed something to focus on,” he explains. “It was getting loud inside my head.”

She frowns, wanting to ask more about the voices he hears, or about Luke Skywalker, but unsure if he wants to talk about it. He speaks again before she can ask, distracting her. “It was a design used by a Sith warrior who died during the great Scourge.”

“The Scourge of Malachor was thousands of years ago,” she remarks. “Were you researching it? Or just interested in Malachor?”

“Snoke had me looking into some of the dark side weapons used there. I couldn’t find much about them. But I saw this design and thought it was interesting.”

Jeyna smiles despite herself. He’d based his lightsaber off an ancient design because he’d thought it was neat. She finds the notion entirely too endearing.

He pauses his work to run a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face. When he glances over and sees the smile, he complains, “Stop smiling about that.”

“I’m sorry,” she says, not meaning it. “What else have you looked into for Snoke?”

“I studied a lot of topics. Not always for Snoke,” Ben says. She watches as he reassembles the lightsaber quickly, his hands skilled with obvious practice.

“So you’re also something of a scholar,” she accuses softly. Affection is thrumming her heart at this new development, at the thought of him being just as comfortable with archives as he is with combat.

“I suppose. If it pleases you,” he replies after a moment. He moves the finished saber, and begins putting the tools back.

“It does,” she confirms. He flinches at something in her voice, finally focusing his eyes on her for more than a brief flicker. What he finds in her gaze seems to shift something in him, and she jerks with surprise as he sweeps the rest of the tools off the workbench. They land in a scattered mess on the garage floor.

He lifts her suddenly, settling her onto the counter in front of him. It is strange to be looking down at him for the first time, the bench lifting her high enough to be at a height advantage. She tries to read his face, but he seems lost in thought.

His hands gently push her hair back from her face, coming to a rest cradling either side of her head. She feels as he works to strengthen their connection, her lips parting with a strange sort of pleasure as he pours his energy into the bond between them. It is always there, lingering, but in moments like this it intensifies, surrounds her. The feeling of it is addictive, his power helping her feel the force more strongly.

His dark hair has fallen back down into his eyes as they flicker between hers. “I want you,” he admits lowly. Pleasure twists deep inside her in response. “But it never seems to be the right time.”

She knows immediately what he means. Their moments have been stolen, both overcome by their attraction and unable to stop themselves. But something was always interfering, getting in the way. She frowns, hesitating on a reply, before the telltale Dwoo-ing of an astromech droid interrupts her. She groans at the irony of yet another interference.

Ben’s hands drop gently to her shoulders as he listens. When his eyes return to hers, they’ve become focused once more. “We’ve found the star system.”

**Approaching Nathema**

They orbit the planet, and Jeyna feels a sensation like something cold and heavy pressing down on her skin. It looks like a grayish brown smear of a world, the colors blurring lifelessly together. She can’t make out any water sources from this high up, nor the green of any plant life, as it is apparently barren.

Ben is monitoring several screens when he moves, pointing one out to her. “There,” he says. “Ground scans show a large, central structure.”

She peers around his shoulder to see what he is talking about. The place he points out looks massive, and it is surrounded by a walled city. The city itself looks to be a rough circle, smaller buildings filling the interior in a loop about the main structure. But she can tell nothing else by the image.

“I’ll take us down,” he says, sitting at the pilot’s chair.

As they descend into the atmosphere, something strange happens to Jeyna’s senses. Her head feels like thick, fuzzy fabric has been wrapped about her skull, her hearing suddenly dimmed. Her ears ring slightly as she experimentally calls out. “Do you feel that?” she asks him. Her voice is distant, softened. It sounds like it is travelling through something thicker than air.

She barely hears his response, and it is unpleasantly distorted. “Yes. Something is wrong here.”

As they get nearer to ground level, she notices the tremor in his hands on the controls. The connection between them is stretched, pulled taut, as he withdraws. She fights the urge to protest it, horror creeping in quickly as her intuition flares. The city looms closer, as they approach just outside the span of its walls.

Beyond the window, the colors leech from existence. The world they are landing on seems muted, the waves of light somehow repressed. The ship sets down with a slight bump, and Jeyna feels the bond between them snap broken.

“Why?” she gasps at his sudden absence.

He pulls his shaking hands from the controls before rising from his chair to face her. She’s struck by how pale his skin is, his pupils blown wide with what she suspects is fear. “You don’t want to feel it the way I do,” he says tersely.

Jeyna takes a shaking breath, goosebumps covering her skin underneath her clothes. “What do you feel?”

He staggers past her, hands clenching into fists as he leads them into the main hold. “The force is dead here.”

Her mouth drops open as she trails behind him, watching as he grabs his lightsaber and datapad. “HK, bring a blaster,” he orders.

The droid seems content to follow his order in this case, grabbing a weapon eagerly. “Of course, not-Master.”

Ben slams his hand into the door panel, and the door opens as the ramp descends before them to dull, tan dirt. As soon as the atmosphere of Nathema hits her, she can feel it. Where her small awareness of the force should be, is vacant. It feels like a slight wound, aching, drawing her attention to the spot where something has been torn away.

She’s terrified to imagine how it must feel to Ben. He is infinitely stronger with the force than her. “Are you going to make it? I can go alone,” she tries to suggest, joining him in the doorway. She can see that he is unsteady, his eyes transmitting that he is in pain.

He shakes his head stubbornly. “No. I will be fine.”

“It doesn’t bother me as much,” she tries to persuade him, wanting to spare him suffering. “I can take the droid-”

“I’m going with you,” he interrupts sternly. Her mouth snaps closed at the finality of his tone, audible even through the strange muffling effect the planet has on sound. “HK, follow us.”

“As you wish, organ sack,” the droid confirms.

Jeyna creeps down the ramp behind Ben, hearing a slight dinging of HK’s feet on the metal surface as he trails along. Her hands are shaking, her heart staggering as adrenaline surges through her veins. It is useless. There is nothing to fight, and nothing to flee from. Just the abandoned city before them, the tall gates left gaping open like a mouth.

The massive structure in the center looms above, its windows open and vacant like the eyes of a skull that’s been picked clean. There is no wind on this planet. The air is thick and heavy, hanging unmoving. Moving through it makes Jeyna picture forcing her way through cobwebs, layered with dust. She cringes in disgust.

“It’s completely deserted,” she says needlessly. It is obvious the place hasn’t been inhabited for a long time. It has the feeling of a crypt, an intended cradle of death, but even death had the good sense to abandon it.

She follows as he resolutely heads forward, his pace determined. She forces herself to trudge along towards the gates, trying to feel brave, as they walk between a double row of pillars lining their approach.

The memory of the vision sends out shockwaves within her mind, and she staggers momentarily as they pass through the opening to enter the city. The web, coming undone. Blinking from existence.

Ben is silent, and she doesn’t need their connection to feel he’s barely keeping it together. She can see his hand, fingers pale with how much pressure he’s exerting onto the handle of his saber. They are walking down a large path that leads straight through the smaller buildings, to the center structure.

They don’t make it far before Jeyna starts noticing the items left behind. Clothing lays in small clumps along the path, crumpled over shoes. Baskets and bags, occasionally a weapon or bit of jewelry, lay with the items.

“Where are the bodies?” she asks, confusion and fear mingling in her voice. These stacks of possessions look as if they lay where the people who held or wore them had once stood.

Whether Ben doesn’t hear her, or doesn’t want to answer her, she isn’t sure. But the dream of the plant disintegrating replays in her mind, and she knows it has answered her question.

They had asked her about this place, during the interrogation. She remembers now what Snoke had been after. Ben stops his fast pace forward, pauses as he lets her catch up. His pained gaze finds her as she repeats their words, “The ritual of Nathema.”

He nods slowly, confirming the memory. She swallows heavily as she understands. “Someone stripped this place of the force. It’s what the dream was warning me about,” she says. “Whoever did this...they want to do it to the entire galaxy.”


	32. Ch. 32

As they arrive at the center structure of the city, Jeyna has grown increasingly worried about Ben. He seems even more unsteady on his feet, stubbornly pushing on despite the pain she can read on his face. She tries to contain the anxiety, focusing on getting what they came for and then getting him off Nathema as quickly as possible.

They’re climbing the massive stone steps up to the front door of the building when HK speaks up from behind her. “Master, the organ sack is showing dangerously high stress levels.”

“Ben? Are you going to be okay?” she asks finally, unable to hold back her concern any longer. He staggers forward to shove open one of the heavy, towering doors to the building.

“I’m fine,” he insists, sounding annoyed. But she notices he leaves his arm resting on the door for longer than necessary, using it to support himself for a moment. She hovers close to him, hoping he doesn’t pass out. She’s positive she won’t be able to support his weight if he goes down suddenly.

She’s relieved as he recovers, pulling himself into the building. She follows, her eyes taking in the entry space. The hall they’ve entered is massive, dark metal walls towering above them on all sides. The floor is stone, and she realizes the pattern in the inlay spells something in a derivative of ancient Basic.

“Break the bonds that chain you,” Ben reads it quietly, his voice pained.

She flinches at the reminder of his discomfort. At the end of the hall, she can see what looks like an ancient computer. Her desire to hasten things along pulls her ahead of him, practically running to it.

Jeyna stops her rushed pace at the device, hesitating at the strange forcefield that rises above it. There is an object, hovering within the forcefield as if it is floating. She furrows her brow in curiosity. It almost appears to be a holocron. But it is entirely too small, merely the size of her palm. It looks old, even older than the ones Revan had left. She can’t begin to guess at the material it is made of, something black and glassy. It looks like it is filled with a shifting smoke.

Ben catches up with her, raising his hand immediately to test the forcefield. He flinches as a small arc of electricity rises to meet his fingertips, shocking him away.

Angered, Jeyna raises her own hand to the energy field, expecting to feel the same flash of pain in response. Her mind is already trying to figure if it will be slight enough to push through, or if they will need to find a way to deactivate it, when her fingers pass through unopposed.

It flickers and dies a moment later, and she barely has time to react as the small holocron-like object drops. She catches it clumsily, pulling it back in her grip. The computer jolts to life, filling the space where the object had hovered with the last piece of their star map.

**Leaving Nathema**

Ben’s staggering through their much slower exit of the empty city. She’s drifted close to his side, lingering there in case his balance fails him. She’ll need HK to help move him if he does go down, and she hopes they won’t have to resort to dragging his unconscious body back to the ship.

Jeyna can feel Nathema’s worsening effects herself, the wound that feels like a part of her has been removed is larger. The damage is spreading. Her body and mind both constantly return to it, probing, trying to examine the injury. It’s hard for her to process it as it slows her reflexes, an aching that echoes in her awareness.

She is so distracted, as she assumes Ben is as well, that they are passing through the city’s gates before either of them seems to notice it.

There is a ship besides theirs, larger and black and strangely shaped. She wonders why they hadn’t heard it landing, but the atmosphere of the planet is muffling. Would that be enough to conceal its arrival?

Ben reacts faster than her, lunging into her in his haste to move her. He knocks her behind one of the large pillars that lines the path towards the city, at the same time the ground where they had been standing is obliterated.

Chunks of dirt are thrown upward, finer sand showering them in a pelting blast that disrupts the crushing silence of Nathema. Ben shoves her fully behind the pillar, blocking her view of the crater formed by the impact of the explosive. Dirt still rains down on them as he attempts to peer around the pillar, swearing angrily at what he observes.

“What is it? Who is it?” Jeyna asks quickly, heart thudding at the close call.

His eyes land on hers, and she’s terrified by what she sees in them. Determination rages there, but it can’t abate the look of devastation on his features. She knows instantly that the situation is bad, just by that one look.

He doesn’t answer her, instead addressing HK, his order sounding detached. “HK. Get her off this planet.” HK’s head swivels at the command from the next pillar down, where it has crouched in a defensive position similar to theirs. “Go, Jeyna. Please,” he says to her simply, eyes catching hers once briefly before he rips them away.

Jeyna panics as she understands his intent, grabbing for him a second too late. He lunges from their hiding spot, his lightsaber igniting. He’s immediately hit by an onslaught of blaster fire as he storms out, the unstable red beam swirling with precision to deflect the bolts.

“Master-”

She interrupts the droid to give it a conflicting order. “HK, fire at anyone attacking Ben!”

The droid lifts the blaster instantaneously. “Targets acquired, Master.” It shifts partially out of sight, and she hears the blaster as it begins firing in rapid succession.

Jeyna creeps along the stone, poking her head out to see more. Fear seizes her heart at the sight of who Ben is confronting. The Knights of Ren have come to Nathema, and she can see their assorted weapons from her hiding spot clearly as they wield them against him. They’ve turned on their master, at the worst possible moment.

She doesn’t need an understanding of combat to notice that he is on the defensive, attempting with futility to keep them from circling around his back. She has the suspicion that if he had access to the force, the fight would be more than in his favor. But on Nathema, weakened as he is cut off from it, the confrontation comes down to sheer numbers.

There is an agonizing pain in her chest, as if it’s being ripped in two, as she watches him block their attacks. She has never felt so useless, so completely paralyzed as she desperately tries to think of what to do.

Jeyna winces in pain as something hits the pillar right beside her head, chunks of stone stinging her cheek as they are flung into her face. She pulls back behind cover, berating herself as she realizes there are only five Knights fighting Ben. He had six Knights of Ren.

“HK, focus on taking out whoever is shooting at us,” she orders. The less Ben has to worry about blaster bolts coming for him, she reasons, the better. And if she can move from the position she is pinned down in, she might be able to do something more to help him.

“As you wish, Master,” the droid confirms. It disappears entirely from view, circling around the pillar. But she hears its weapon going off, met with the dim echo of return fire, before a moment later it announces, “Target eliminated, Master.”

She moves, joining it to see the target it’s taken out. A knight is slumped atop the wall of the city, and she can see the red smear of his blood trailing down the stones he dangles over. His blaster has dropped to the bottom of the wall, a short distance away.

HK marches forward to begin firing on the remaining Knights, but their armor and rapid movement is effective against some of the shots. It manages to at least distract them, and she realizes they are also affected by the lack of the force here. Their movements are almost clumsy, but brutal in their forcefulness.

She watches as Ben manages to strike one of them, a fatal blow across the chest, deep enough to slash through the armor. But the action left him open to attack for a millisecond too long. She gasps as he is cut with a cruel looking blade, tearing down his left shoulder.

Jeyna is expecting it to be a disastrous turn of events, but the pain seems to have the opposite effect on him. He is pulling strength from somewhere she can’t understand. He spins quickly, his saber lopping off the helmet of the Knight who’d struck him. The head hits the ground before the body, crumpling a moment later.

A blast of stale air hits her, and she vaguely detects the thrumming noise of a ship’s engine. Turning, Jeyna realizes a third ship is landing. It is older looking, patched together in several spots. Though her mind recognizes it is not First Order, she scrambles at the thought of the situation becoming even worse. She doesn’t know who is on the new vessel, but she doesn’t want Ben any more outnumbered than he already is.

Jeyna breaks into a sprint, making for the blaster the Knight had dropped off the wall. By the time she reaches it, a third Knight has fallen by Ben. She is uncertain if HK’s shots were effective, or he was taken down by the lightsaber.

As she fumbles with the blaster, Ben is hit again. She cries out with frustration at the blow to his torso that brings him to one knee. She lifts the weapon and steadies it the way Aleck taught her. It is a more sophisticated weapon than she’s used to, with sights that help her set her target.

She fires, managing to catch the Knight that is about to strike again between his helmet and chest plate, somewhere on the neck. It is partly due to the better weapon assisting the shot at short range, and partly pure luck. He drops, writhing. It is enough to give Ben a moment to recover, and he raises his lightsaber at the last chance to catch the attack from the remaining Knight.

HK’s shots are precise as he finishes off the Knight on the ground, and he stops moving. A brownish red stain surrounds his helmet, his blood mingling with the dirt of Nathema in a rapidly expanding spill.

Jeyna hesitates on the trigger, unwilling to fire at the last Knight. He is too close to Ben, their motions too blurred together to risk it. She watches helplessly as they continue their struggle, until finally Ben catches his opponent’s weapon on the cross guard of his saber, twisting in a way that rotates the red beam through the upper arm of the Knight. The weapon and limb fall to the ground. Ben slashes one final time, and the last Knight hits the dirt. The saber deactivates, and she sees it when he sways once.

Jeyna’s heart drops through her stomach when Ben collapses, in the middle of his fallen former allies. She releases the blaster, running to him in a daze, dropping heavily to her knees but blind to the pain it causes.

Blood coats his left hand, pouring down from the shoulder wound. She can see that his flesh is shredded open there. His lower abdomen is punctured, the black of his top darkened and wet with his blood. He’s likely passed out from blood loss. She knows his condition is critical, her hands shaking as she tries to not think past that.

Jeyna’s mind kicks into gear, pushing aside the useless panic to focus on what she needs to do. She must get him back to the ship, and stop the blood loss. She can order the astromech to begin navigation and focus on stabilizing him in the shuttle’s small medbay.

She presses her hands firmly against the shoulder wound, ignoring the tears sliding down her cheeks. She can’t acknowledge her emotions right now, and she feels freezing cold with a detached focus as she calls out to HK. “HK, help me! I need to get him into the medical bay of the shuttle!”

“Query: Is the newly arrived organ sack a target, Master?” the droid asks in response, its mechanical voice sounding hopeful.

She looks at the droid in confusion for only a second, before its words sink through her scrambled brain to find meaning. She stands, whirling towards the ships as she remembers the newest arrival.

The stranger is standing there, halfway between the crumpled bodies of the Knights and the array of space vessels. He wears dark, thick robes. A hood is pulled up over his head, shading his face from her. She only assumes he is male, something about his form and posture suggesting it. He is motionless, watching her. And though she doesn’t see a weapon, fierce protectiveness surges in her, mingling with the knowledge that she needs to hurry to help Ben.

Jeyna grabs for Ben's lightsaber on instinct. It is the only weapon near enough for her grasp. She draws in a shuddering breath at the feeling of it vibrating slightly in her hand as she turns it on. The unstable power it emanates is tangible, the crackling heat warming her face.

She turns her body to face the stranger fully, putting Ben’s lightsaber between him and the new threat. As uncomfortable as she is wielding it, knowing she will be useless at utilizing it, she refuses to back down. She’d rather die trying than let this person murder Ben where he lays, defenseless. She glares at the darkness beneath the hood, waiting.

The stranger moves, reaching for his hood. He pulls it back, and she searches his face. Her eyes soften slightly when she sees he doesn’t look aggressive. His long hair is streaked with gray, matching his unkempt beard. His eyes look sad, his face set grimly.

“I won’t hurt you,” he calls. “Or Ben.”

“Who are you?” she asks loudly, more hot tears leaking down her cheeks. They sting at the wounds where the rocks dug into her flesh. She’s losing control, her emotions taking over suddenly as desperation sinks in.

“I’m Luke Skywalker,” he says, stepping forward slowly like he is approaching a wild animal. “You’ve met my sister, Leia.”

Jeyna draws in fast, shaking breaths as he comes closer. “What do you want?” she asks finally, relief sinking in as she dares to hope.

Luke’s serious eyes focus on hers. “I can help you get him off this planet, before it kills him.”


	33. Ch. 33

Jeyna hesitates only a moment. Can she trust him? Does she have a better option? He is Ben’s uncle, and a Jedi. It is enough to make her deactivate the saber.

Moving Ben’s limp body is challenging, his tall form is broad with heavy muscle. Even with Luke it is slower going than she’d like, and she stumbles as he guides them towards the beat up ship he arrived in.

“You can’t take the First Order shuttle. They can track it,” Luke argues around huffing for breath, noticing her wary glance up at the vessel. “What does this kid eat? Ferrocrete?” he complains, attempting to shift Ben’s torso into a more secure grip.

Jeyna’s still uncertain as they start up the ramp to the older ship, knowing instinctively that Ben would not like this turn of events. But she knows Luke is right about taking the shuttle. If the First Order got a hold of Ben in his current state… the image of Hux fills her mind, his face gleeful at finally having the upper hand. Who knows what other enemies he might have within the Order? If the Knights turned on him, what is to stop others from following suit? Even as the Supreme Leader, his power relied on his ability to defend it. She can’t risk taking him back there like this, she reasons.

They’re staggering through the main hold towards what she presumes is the medical bay when HK pipes up unhelpfully. “Master, the injured organ sack’s vitals suggest he is entering a state of shock.”

“It’s this damn planet,” Luke groans as they awkwardly shuffle Ben around the corner. “It’s draining his life force.”

They settle Ben clumsily onto the medbay table. Jeyna tries to not look at his face in an effort to focus, immediately turning to search the supplies. She spots Bacta, but Luke shoves an aerosol binding agent at her. “Apply that first to stop the bleeding,” he directs. “I’m going to get us into hyperspace, then I’ll be back.”

“HK, alert me of cardiorespiratory changes,” she requests, attempting to rip his shirt open further at the wound site on his shoulder. She gives up, the thick combat suit not giving enough, and pulls open drawers frantically until she finds scissors.

She cuts open the material enough to access the wound, the ship staggering beneath her as they lift off. She washes the wound off quickly and applies the binding agent, before repeating the same procedure on the second injury. Her hands are still shaking with nerves as she starts on the Bacta patches, making sure to cover the wounds thoroughly.

When she’s done, she hesitates, wringing her hands anxiously. She barely notices as they jump to hyperspace, wondering what more she should do. “HK, what else do you do for someone in shock?” Jeyna asks helplessly. Her medical knowledge is limited, and she wishes she could do more.

“I do not know, Master. Explanation: My knowledge of organics is limited to cessation of life functions, not preservation of them.”

She doesn’t bother to brush her tears away as she finally lets herself focus on Ben’s face. He’s so pale, his skin a clammy white. She reaches up to stroke the dark, damp strands of hair off his forehead. Even with the touch of the force creeping back into her awareness, she can’t feel him. He’s always been the one preserving their connection, and she struggles to forge it on her own.

Her breathing hitches with the urge to sob. She scrambles to think. He’s lost a lot of blood, but she has no idea how to go about doing intravenous fluids without the help of a med droid. She brushes his hair back absentmindedly, struggling to expand her chest against the anxiety crushing it.

“He’s going to be okay now,” Luke’s gruff voice comes from the doorway to the medbay. She turns to look at him, noticing the way his features relax in sympathy. “He just needs time.”

The older man enters the small space, and she watches as he takes something from a drawer, recognizing it as a syringe. Her hand flies towards him to stop him. “Wait, what is that?”

“Sedatives. If he wakes up injured and confused, and sees me, he’ll try to kill me,” Luke explains. He watches her, waiting for her to drop her hold of his arm.

“Why?” she asks finally.

“I’m going to try to speed up his recovery, but I’d like to sedate him first,” Luke says, ignoring her question. She drops her hand slowly, watching him inject the substance before dropping the needle. Luke reaches out, his eyes closing, and she is surprised to see one of his hands is a mechanical prosthetic. She hadn't noticed it before, in her haste to get Ben off Nathema. Jeyna gasps as she suddenly feels the thrum of the force filling the small space. The only time she’s felt it stronger is when Ben shares it with her.

She looks to Ben’s face, and is relieved to see color flush back into his skin. His chest rises and falls more steadily, and it settles her emotions as she watches him. When the anxiety eases out of her chest, she’s left feeling exhausted.

“Vital signs improving, Master,” HK shares.

Luke’s hands fall as he staggers back, catching himself on the short counter along the wall. She feels as the energy flowing from him is cut off abruptly. “It’s been a long time,” he groans, steadying himself.

“Since you used the force?” she ventures, remembering Leia mentioning his exile.

He gives her a curious look. “Yes. You can feel it?”

Jeyna nods. “Only a little,” she admits. Luke looks even more curious, his head slowly cocking to the side in a way that reminds her of Ben as he studies her. She studies him back, just as intrigued despite her tiredness. “Why didn’t the planet seem to bother you?” she asks after a moment, breaking their silent standoff.

“I can cut myself off from the force. I’ve been living for years that way,” Luke answers. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He gives her a wry smile.

“I didn’t think a Jedi would choose to do something like that,” Jeyna says. “It seems…drastic.”

“Drastic. Yes,” he says, the smile twisting into more of a grimace. “But I’m not a Jedi any longer.”

“Why not?” she asks immediately. Leia hadn’t explained much beyond that it had something to do with Ben’s fall to the dark side. His face darkens and he doesn’t answer her.

“Does it have to do with why Ben would try to kill you?” she pushes suspiciously, returning to the topic he’d tried to avoid. His gaze becomes distant, unfocused, as he lets silence stretch on.

“I made a mistake. Many years ago,” Luke says finally, voice quiet. “I felt a darkness rising, and I believed it to be in Ben. It wasn’t until recently, when I felt it again, that I realized it was never Ben I was feeling. It was something haunting him.”

Her brow furrows and she steps closer to Ben, protectiveness lingering in her. His face looks almost serene under the effects of the sedatives. “That doesn’t explain everything…” she points out after a moment. She can tell he is leaving something out, a crucial part of their history.

Luke gives a sigh that is nothing short of painful. “I looked into his mind one night, and when I felt that terrible darkness, I ignited my lightsaber. It was just a moment. An instinct. But he woke up, just then.” Jeyna breathes in sharply at the confession, at the emotion tearing through his voice, making it rough and wavering. “I was the last person he was supposed to trust, and he saw me standing above him, poised as if to strike him down.”

The memory of a recurring dream plays in Jeyna’s mind, and she realizes it is coming from Ben. A flash of green, a feeling of betrayal that makes her heart ache. Is he dreaming it again? Or is some part of him conscious of their conversation?

“My Jedi temple burned to the ground that night. The padawans inside perished,” Luke continues. “All of these years, I thought Ben had done it. I thought he had fallen to the dark side that night, that my moment of weakness had lost him.”

Jeyna frowns as things settle into place, his history now a clear picture to her. Why he had ran to the First Order, embraced someone like Snoke who hurt him and used him… He had felt rejected by his parents, and believed his uncle had tried to kill him instead of help him. She looks from Ben to Luke, and she sees the older man looks haunted, his eyes shadowed as he finally looks at his nephew for more than a brief glance.

“I don’t think he ever fell to the dark side,” Jeyna admits, her voice sounding small in the suffocating silence that follows Luke’s confession. “He tried to, but I don’t think he could…”

“Perhaps. When I reached out recently, after so many years avoiding it…I felt the light in him. It was strong,” Luke says. “The Knights of Ren must have felt it too.”

“How did they find us? How did you find us?” Jeyna questions.

“There is someone in the First Order leaking information to the Resistance. Once I left my exile, it was a simple matter of getting that information from Leia. She was happy to tell me anything that might save her son,” Luke says, sighing.

He tears his gaze away from Ben finally, straightening to his full height for the first time since he exhausted himself using the force. When he looks at Jeyna, his eyes are hard with determination. “What did you find on Nathema?”

“A map,” she admits. She neglects to mention the small device, like a minature holocron, tucked into her pocket.

“Do you have any idea what it leads to?” he asks.

“No,” she says simply. Something within her is resistant to sharing more than that, unsure how much Ben would want his uncle involved given their past.

Luke looks suspicious, but nods after a moment of scrutiny. “We need to keep it away from the First Order. Leia thinks it leads to a weapon of some sort, left by Revan. Once Ben’s recovered, we should take the map to her for safe keeping.”

Jeyna frowns. “I don’t want the First Order to have it either. But this doesn’t mean we work for the Resistance now,” she tells him. Luke scowls.

“This isn’t the kind of thing where you can avoid picking sides, kid,” he tells her after a moment. She scowls in return at the nickname before forcing herself to calm down. Her nerves are eroded, and rationality comes harder than she’d like.

“I’m not a kid, and neither is Ben. We’ll make our own choices, so don’t assume for us,” Jeyna says.

Luke raises his eyebrows, looking unimpressed. “Right. Rebelliousness of youth. Sure.”

She fights back the urge to make a quip back at him, ignoring his heavy sarcasm. He turns to leave the medbay. “I’m going to get us out of hyperspace. Warn me if the sedatives start wearing off.”

Jeyna watches him go before dragging the only metal chair closer to the lab table, letting herself collapse into it. She’s exhausted on a whole new level. It isn’t just physical tiredness that burdens her, but something deeper. She feels like Nathema had reached into her soul and drained a battery there.

“HK, alert me if Ben starts waking up,” she requests.

“Of course, Master. I will make the organ sack’s sleep status my top priority.”

It isn’t long before she rests her head down, on Ben’s uninjured arm. Her eyes slide shut as she drifts into unconsciousness.

**Later**

The rumble awakens her with a start, as she feels the ground beneath her shake steadily and then stop. She falters for only a moment before remembering she is on Luke’s ship. But the surface beneath her head is cold metal, not the warm contact she last remembers.

Jeyna jerks upright, eyes flying around the medbay to land on HK, crumpled into the wall. Her mouth falls open at the sight of his processor sparking, as if something had ripped the wires out and left them exposed.

Ben is nowhere to be seen. Panic jumps into her throat as she realizes she had fallen asleep without meaning to. She stumbles from the medbay, trying to shake the stubborn grip of sleep from her mind. The ship is empty as she rushes through, including the cockpit. She comes to a stop there, beside the pilot’s seat. The viewport shows her quite clearly that they are no longer in space.

She should have realized the vibration of the engines was missing. Out past the control panel, she sees a landscape that is covered in the darkness of night. Rain lashes the windows in gusts of wind.

Jeyna turns, hurrying back through the old ship to the main hold. Someone left the door open, and she nearly slips on the wet metal as she descends down the ramp into the storm. The ship is resting atop a rocky hillside, and she can vaguely make out cliffs in the distance. They fall away into an ocean, she hears the sound of it over the rain. It is raging, violent. Flashes of lightning illuminate the towering waves crashing against rocky outcroppings.

The ground beneath her feet shudders again, and her breathing comes quicker in fear. Where is Ben? Where is Luke? What planet are they on?

She presses forward, feet sliding on the soaking wet slope, away from the cliffs and further up the hill. As she rounds the ship, she sees the glowing in the distance. Two beams light up the hillside, even as she can’t make out who holds them. One is a flaring red color, the other a stable green.


	34. Ch. 34

Jeyna runs as fast as she can towards the colors of their sabers, rain stinging her face in sheets as she keeps slipping on the drenched ground. Lightning illuminates the scene for her in brief flashes as she approaches, beginning to make out the dark figures of Luke and Ben. Behind them are what looks like piles of rubble.

The wind is loud, but above it she can hear the sound of their weapons, especially when she watches the red of Ben’s lightsaber come screaming downwards in a powerful stroke. Luke’s green saber catches it at the last moment, and she gasps as she sees Ben’s shadowed form sent tumbling backward, thrown sideways from the force.

Jeyna slides as the ground beneath her pitches sharply, and she barely recovers her balance. She throws herself forward just as recklessly, but pays slightly more attention to her footing.

She’s close to enough to see it more clearly when Ben throws himself at Luke again, all brute force and rage. Luke dodges and evades the blows gracefully, until one particularly savage strike from Ben forces him to block.

The lightsabers spark angrily where they meet, the beams hissing as they appear to grate on one another. The twin beams inch closer and closer towards Luke, Ben forcing them towards the older man.

She can feel it, suddenly, battling amongst the two as they are locked together. There is a secondary storm, within the force, being tugged between them. It surges erratically towards Ben, long enough for Luke to spin out of the way as he loses the competition of sheer strength. Ben’s saber comes down mere centimeters from Luke’s shoulder as he ducks away again.

“Stop this, Ben!” Luke shouts over the thunder. Jeyna skids to a stop as close as she dares to get, cowering back as she hears the scream of fury come from Ben.

“You betrayed me!” he shouts. A huge chunk of stone comes flying from the pile of rocks beyond Luke, directly for his head.

Luke holds his hand up, and she gasps as the rock is obliterated, into thousands of tiny bits of stone. They part, flying past him on either side to shower into the ground. “I did,” Luke acknowledges. From what she can make out, his face looks bizarrely calm given the situation.

“What do you want!?” Ben demands. When the electricity arcs across the sky above, she can see his shoulders heaving. “Do you want to drag me from the darkness, back to the light? Do you want to _save me_ , now? You’re too late!”

She cringes at the way his yelling seems to rattle the very ground beneath her feet, energy pounding her eardrums with his deep voice. His connection to the force lets his emotions shake the world, and her reality.

“It is too late. You don’t need saving,” Luke says calmly. Jeyna breathes sharply as he deactivates his saber, dropping the handle from his grip. She loses sight of it as it tumbles to the ground.

“Because I was born for this? Born for the fall?” Ben rants. She notices his weapon stays lit, despite Luke’s apparent refusal to continue the fight. But he doesn’t advance further, his stance crumpling out of the aggressive fighting position. “You were all just waiting for it.”

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “I failed you. I made a mistake that night. I thought you had fallen, because I’d been waiting for it all along. My fear clouded my judgment, and I paid for it by losing my padawan. My nephew.”

Ben staggers backwards from Luke, retreating as if he can physically escape the words. “Some things that are lost, can’t be found again,” he says. Jeyna can barely hear him over the wind, his voice sounding broken. Her heart pangs in sympathy as she knows he is in pain seeing Luke.

“And yet she found you, Ben. Hidden beneath Kylo Ren,” Luke says. At his words, Ben jerks towards her, noticing for the first time that she’s joined them. The red lightsaber deactivates. “You can’t ignore the call to the light. I feel it in you. It’s been there all along, hasn’t it?” Luke pushes.

Ben doesn’t answer him, staring at her. She feels the connection between them waver back into existence, senses him testing her timidly, as if wary of rejection. She welcomes his presence in her mind, the familiarity of it soothing her nerves after the chaos of the last several hours.

“There is something else you need to know,” Luke says, breaking the moment between them. Jeyna tears her gaze away from Ben to look questioningly at the former Jedi. “You didn’t kill them that night, Ben. It wasn’t you.”

She feels the overwhelming shock and relief travel through the bond, flowing into her. He had believed, she realizes, for all these years that he had killed Luke’s other padawans. She detects the last stubborn tendrils of anger ease out of his mind at the announcement.

Ben drops to his knees, letting go of the handle of his volatile saber at long last. Jeyna crosses the remaining distance between them, joining him kneeling in the mud. It hardly matters, they’re both soaked through with cold rain anyway. His hair hangs dripping into his face, and hers is doing the same.

He holds her in a steady gaze, face strobing with the light of the storm still carrying on around them. He seems content to not speak, and she feels the exhaustion ebbing outwards from him. Yet there is a current that builds larger between them, locking their energies together in the force. It feels like a union. He leans closer to press his lips to hers in a promising kiss.

It’s interrupted when Luke gives a disgusted groan. “I would say get a room, but you’ve wrecked all but one of my huts.”

Jeyna backs away from Ben’s beautiful face to look at the piles of rubble. All she can see are hunks of rock, but apparently they had recently constituted dwellings. Ben moves, and she senses the burst of pain he experiences as if it’s her own shoulder screaming in agony. He blocks it quickly, but she’s already searching his recent wound. There’s a fresh dark stain spilling from beneath the Bacta patch, and though it is too dark to tell, she can only assume it is blood.

“You’ve reinjured yourself,” she says with alarm.

“Probably ripped the wound back open,” Luke remarks, coming closer. He makes as if to offer his hand to help his nephew up, but Ben stands on his own. Jeyna feels the awkward tension settle between them as Ben backs away from his uncle.

Luke glances between them before sighing, the noise drowned out halfway through by a clap of thunder. “I know we aren’t on exactly the same side of this. But that doesn’t mean we have to be against each other, either,” he says finally. “If you’re done trying to kill me, I’ve had it with this storm.”

Jeyna watches as he retreats up the hill, and she makes out a dome-like hut in the distance. Is that where he’s been living all these years? Did the mystery of the fate of Luke Skywalker boil down to a lonely stone hut on an island? The Jedi, or former Jedi, is much different than she’d ever imagined a Jedi would be.

**Ship MedBay**

She fights back shivers, clenching her jaw to stop the chattering of her teeth as she resorts to cutting the rest of Ben’s top off. It’s stuck to his skin with the rain, and she doesn’t want him opening the wound up anymore trying to twist the shirt off.

He watches her as she works, still not saying anything. His quiet worries her, and she hopes he is okay after everything Luke said. At the very least, his anger has subsided. But she’s having a hard time reading his emotions otherwise, as he stays distant to shield his pain from their bond.

Jeyna gets to work on repeating the steps to treat his shoulder injury, trying to ignore the tempting sight of him shirtless. His chest and shoulders are impossibly broad, his arms muscled, and she ends up chewing her lip as she chastises herself for ogling him while he’s injured.

“You’re distracted,” Ben remarks quietly. Her hand brushes his skin when she applies the new Bacta patch, and he adds, “And ice cold. You need to get out of those wet clothes.”

“I will as soon as I’m done with you,” she assures him. When she finishes, she makes to stand, but he reaches out.

“Wait,” he says softly. His fingertips graze her cheek, and she feels a tingling warmth spread there for just a moment. When it fades, she raises her hand to her skin, and realizes he’s healed her small injuries.

“Can you do that for HK, too?” she asks doubtfully.

“That might take a bit more work,” he admits.

“Why did you disable it?”

“I didn’t wake up in the best of moods,” Ben says. She watches him rub his eyes, and is reminded of a sleepy toddler.

“Let’s try to find some dry clothes and get some sleep,” Jeyna suggests.

“There will be some in the dormitory,” he says, getting up off the lab table to lead her from the small room. She trails behind him down the narrow metal corridor.

“Did you look already?” she asks in confusion.

“No. This is my father’s ship.”

Jeyna hadn’t been expecting that, and she doesn’t comment immediately as she processes. They reach the dormitory, and she follows him into the space, suddenly paying much more attention to the details.

He approaches a set of lockers that have been modified to serve as a wardrobe, pulling them open and shuffling through the contents. She gratefully accepts the change of clothes he offers, before realizing they’re women’s clothing. Are they Leia’s? And is the dark shirt he’s gingerly pulling overhead his father’s? Han? She feels off kilter trying to picture his parents in the space, imagining what his father might look like. She wonders if he has many memories on the ship.

Jeyna gets changed, leaving her boots to dry next to Ben’s. He’s already laid down on one of the oversized bunks, the dormitory designed more for long-term stay. Her mind is still working, but she resists the urge to ask him questions for now. His eyes are closed, and she assumes he must be drained from all of the fighting and his injuries.

“You’re thinking a lot,” he remarks, peeking at her from under his dark lashes.

“I’m sorry…”

“Come here,” he orders, scooting over on the bunk to make space for her. She lays by his uninjured side, curling up in the space under his arm. His body heat immediately warms her, and she feels oddly content given the stresses they’ve endured recently.

“One question,” he says, pulling her tighter against him.

“What?”

“You get one question. Then I’m helping you sleep, so I can sleep,” Ben explains.

“What do you mean, helping me sleep? You can put me to sleep?” Jeyna demands, intrigued. “Wait, have you done that before?” She wriggles to look up at his face.

“Is that your one question?” he checks. She sees the corners of his lips jerk, as if he’s restraining a small grin.

“No, that’s not fair. I should get a question separate from that,” she complains. “You have, haven’t you?”

He doesn’t answer, which she assumes is confirmation. She struggles to pin down exactly when he’s done it before, wondering if she would have noticed if she were aware it was something he could do.

“Your brain never turns off,” he comments after a few moments. “I tried so hard to not listen at first.”

“I’m sorry. That sounds annoying,” Jeyna replies, tucking her face into his shirt. She lets her eyes fall closed, attempting to calm her thoughts for his sake.

“No, it’s okay. I could block it, if I wanted to. But every time I tried to on Kashyyyk, I’d get curious what I was missing,” he says, voice barely above a sleepy whisper.

“I don’t think you’d be missing much,” she reassures him jokingly.

“I would’ve missed you thinking about me in the shower,” Ben retorts. Her face blushes hot as she realizes that long ago slip up hadn’t been missed. “You still have one question,” he reminds her.

Jeyna barely has to think before she asks it. “Are your memories on this ship mostly good or mostly bad?” When she feels his body tense next to her, she regrets blurting it out. She should have picked something else, something less loaded. She opens her mouth to take it back, or to change the subject, when she feels him relax again.

“Mostly good,” Ben says quietly. She smiles with relief, once more trying to picture him on the ship as a small child. What had he been like as a boy? She remembers Leia mentioning he'd been sweet. Had he been adventurous, as well, with a smuggler for a father? Or had he taken after his mother more, a former princess and diplomat?

Jeyna realizes she’s still letting her thoughts carry on unchecked, and they’re most likely keeping Ben awake. She tries to stop, but wonders if he’s comfortable. Is he in pain? Does he need anything for it? He’d hide the pain regardless, but she wonders if she should offer to get him something to ease any discomfort.

“Sleep, Jeyna,” he whispers. She hears the command echoed in her mind, sleep creeping into her consciousness with the comforting familiarity of his presence. Her head relaxes onto his shoulder as she drifts off.


	35. Ch. 35

When Jeyna wakes up, it feels like she has slept for an eternity. She has no idea how long they’ve been unconscious, their bodies twisted together. She attempts to extricate herself from his limbs carefully, untucking his heavy arm from around her waist and shifting gradually out from under his weight. At some point he’d ended up half on top of her, and she tries to resettle him gently to not disturb his wounds.

Once she’s free, she lets herself look at his face. His dark hair is laying, messy, across his features. He is so uncannily handsome, she has to resist the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek.

He startles her when he speaks suddenly, despite his eyes staying closed. “Are you trying to watch me sleep?” he asks.

“No,” Jeyna lies immediately.

His lips quirk slightly, amusement showing on his features as he slowly opens his eyes to hers. “You’re a terrible liar,” he teases.

She rolls her eyes, moving to rise from the bunk. Ben shifts, grabbing her hips as she attempts to climb over him and pulling her down to straddle his body. It unsteadies her, and she flails for balance.

“Be careful!” she complains, catching her weight at the last minute so her hands don’t fall onto his injuries. “You’re still hurt, you know.”

“I’m almost healed,” he corrects her, putting pressure on her hips to anchor her down onto him. His thumbs stroke her hip bones through her clothing.

She glances down at his shirt skeptically. Is it possible for him to already be close to recovery? Did the force allow for that rapid of healing? He’d healed her arm on Kashyyyk, but that wound had been nowhere near as severe as his.

His eyes lock onto hers as he reassures, “I’ll be fine.” Ben raises a hand to twirl her hair around his finger lazily, gaze still searching hers. She bites her lip nervously as she feels the heat return between them, a quiet tension between their bodies. She searches for a diversion, a way to distract herself from the poorly timed desire that always seems to surge at his proximity.

“I feel it too,” he says. His voice is low, rough with desire, his eyes unwavering. His intensity quickens her heart rate, and she has to drop her attention from his face.

“I can’t think when you look at me like that,” Jeyna admits with frustration.

“Then don’t think,” he suggests.

She fights back a smile, relaxing as he strokes her sides with his fingertips in gentle motions. “I don’t even know what planet we are on.”

“I don’t either,” he concedes. She grabs his hands, interlocking her fingers with his to pause his touches.

“Shouldn’t we find that out? And we need to figure out what that device was near the star map,” she reminds him. “I didn’t tell Luke about it.”

She returns her eyes to his, watching as the lust clears from his gaze as he registers what she said. “I forgot about that,” Ben admits.

She nods slowly, releasing his grip to climb off of him. “It looks like a small holocron. But it didn’t open when I touched it, like the others,” she admits.

He pushes himself up into a sitting position, asking, “Can I see it? Where is it?”

Jeyna retrieves it from her abandoned clothes on the floor, bringing it to him. She holds it out in her palm tentatively, and he moves to take it. But when his hand comes within a centimeter of the dark, glassy surface, he hesitates.

“I can feel it in the force,” Ben observes in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“It has energy to it, but not like something mechanical,” he clarifies. “It feels… alive.”

Jeyna’s eyes widen at the statement, staring down at the innocuous object resting on her palm. The smoky substance filling it is moving quicker the longer Ben’s hand hovers above it. She watches as it swirls faster and faster, building into a chaotic mess within the small confines of the device.

She opens her mouth to ask what they should do with it, uncertainty making her hesitant. But he drops his fingers down before she can speak, making contact with it.

A current of energy locks the muscles of her hand and arm in place, even as she tries to pull back from it. Her head is filled with a rushing noise like wind, pressure building behind her forehead. She raises her fearful eyes to Ben, and sees he looks just as startled as she is.

There are voices in the wind, she realizes. She cries out at the onslaught on her eardrums as they chant, in a language she has never heard before. The web of energy is there, thrumming with its life force, everything connected and alive. She feels the ancient language tying itself into the web, a strange power within the force that is beyond her grasp to understand.

She screams as the web is snapped, critical points blinking out of existence. The dream flares up in her memory, connecting with the ritual as it fills her mind, making sense of the experience for her. The small holocron contains the ritual of Nathema.

The chanting finally dies down, the words whispering and eventually fading to a wind, and then a static, and then silence. Her hand trembles uncontrollably as, at long last, she regains control of her muscles. She flinches, dropping the device at the same time Ben also releases it.

Jeyna’s sobbing, tears already drenching her face at the intensity of the dark power that just flowed through her. Her head is pounding, and she feels sick to her stomach. Ben pulls her to him, his arms wrapping around her, attempting to comfort her.

They are both silent for a long time, his hand rubbing small circles on her back. She focuses on slowing her breathing, attempting to find calm. Once she feels steadier, she pulls her face from his chest. “We should destroy it,” she whispers.

He frowns down at her. “I agree…”

She sees the reluctance in his eyes. “What is it?” she pushes.

Ben looks away before admitting, “I can feel them. The person in my head.” He swallows hard, the Adam’s apple of his throat bobbing with the nervous action. “I can sense them now. They want me to bring it to them.”

Chills shoot down her spine as dread settles into her heart.

**Not Much Later**

“Are you sure we shouldn’t bring Luke?” Jeyna asks, flinching as she mentions his uncle. The disgruntled look he gives her in return is enough of an answer.

He settles in the pilot’s seat. “I don’t want his help. I’ll finish this on my own,” he insists. “You should stay here, where you’ll be safe. He can look after you until I return.”

She sits, buckling up and ignoring the same argument he’s been repeating. His attempts at persuading her to stay out of harm’s way have been useless. “I’m going with you,” she insists stubbornly. “Isn’t he going to come after us? We’re stealing his ship.”

“It isn’t his ship. It’s my fathers,” Ben reminds her. “I don’t even know why Luke has it.”

Jeyna frowns, wondering that herself. Is it possible his father had let Luke borrow it, hoping it would assist him in recovering his son? “Well, then, are we sure we want to steal your father’s ship?”

His hands move on the control panel, and she hears the engines start up. “Yes. We’re very sure about that,” he confirms. She grips the armrests as he lifts off suddenly, the ship lurching energetically from the hillside. He pilots it roughly, gaining altitude as quickly as possible.

She soon spots why. Down on the island, she can make out the sight of another ship. She recognizes it vaguely, as it looks like an older model of the Resistance pilot, Poe’s ship. A dilapidated X-wing. Jeyna quickly loses sight of it as they climb too high, but Ben confirms what she was wondering.

“Luke’s going to try to chase us. I can lose him, though,” he says. She grits her teeth as he throws the ship into full throttle, entering space a moment later. Another moment, and they are in hyperspace.

**Exiting Hyperspace**

They drop out of hyperspace near a planet that looks ghostly and pale, somewhere in the unknown regions. It orbits a weak star, the light from it barely illuminating any of the world’s surface. There looks to be a ghostly halo surrounding it, giving it the appearance of a smoky orb.

“This is where you feel it?” she asks Ben, frowning reluctantly when he nods in response. She can feel the darkness of the place, reminding her of Freedon Nadd’s tomb. An energy is lingering, and as he pilots them closer, it builds.

“This planet is entirely within the dark side,” he says needlessly.

Jeyna licks her lips, pulse racing with fear. “I can feel that,” she admits.

He glances at her, his eyes appearing apologetic. “I shouldn’t have brought you…”

“We’re in this together,” she argues, even as her stomach lurches when they drop through the atmosphere.

He doesn’t answer, his face both sad and determined. They land minutes later, descending between two huge cliff faces to settle in the bottom of a gorge. Nervous energy settles between them, both reluctant to speak as they make their way to the main hold. The door opens to the planet, and Jeyna stops herself from physically recoiling.

The landscape before her is rocky and foreboding, illuminated in flashes of blue. Ben departs first, and she notices his pace is slower, more unsure of himself than normal. She follows, fighting her fear with the sheer determination to be by his side when he confronts whoever or whatever has been messing with his mind.

They make their way along the gorge, impossibly high cliff faces rising on either side of them. When she looks up, she can see blue streaks of lightning colliding with the ground high above them. She stumbles on a rock, refocusing her eyes on the terrain. The dark side energy wears on her nerves, pulling on her, ravenous. She does her best to block it out.

It isn’t long before their path narrows, the rock faces drawing close together. They pass through an opening, rounding a large boulder, and she nearly runs into Ben as he comes to a sudden stop. Looking around, Jeyna realizes they’ve entered a huge space. It almost resembles a stadium, ringed in staggered sections of stands that are empty. The entire area is surrounded by the rock face, arching up overhead into a dome that is cracked open to show peeks of blue lightning flashing on the sky.

She sees as Ben pulls his lightsaber out, even as he doesn’t ignite it. He moves forward cautiously, and she follows, her eyes landing on the structure in the center of the space. It is a cruel looking tower of stone spikes, stabbing upwards in a radial pattern. They are huge, towering up overhead.

Jeyna feels a wave of revulsion as she focuses on the center of the structure. There is a seat carved into the middle of the spikes.

There, sitting on the bizarre throne, is a twisted version of a man. He is propped up by a series of cables and supports, his body looking wasted away beneath the all black robes. But it is his face that disturbs Jeyna the most. His skin is gray, hanging loose in rumples beneath his eyes. His flesh looks like it is rotting, barely clinging to the bones of his face beneath that sickly yellow gaze. He looks like an animated corpse as he raises bony hands to greet them. It doesn't take much guessing on Jeyna's part to assume this is a dark side force user. Likely what she's staring at is a Sith.

“Ah. Finally, you come to me. My young apprentice,” he says, and she is surprised that his voice is strong. She’d expected it to be as weak and decayed as his body appears.

“It’s you,” Ben says, tone showing his contempt. “You’re the voice from my head.”

“I’ve been every voice inside your head,” he confirms. “When you stared at the mask of Vader, did you really think it was your grandfather speaking to you? No. It was me, all along. Since you were in your mother’s womb.”

Jeyna flinches at the thought of this ghoulish creature tormenting Ben since his creation, her stomach lurching with disgust. She looks to Ben’s face, and sees it is set with anger. His hand is clenching tightly to his lightsaber at his side, his eyes poisonous with hatred.

“Yes, even Snoke,” the Sith confirms, apparently reading Ben’s thoughts. “He was merely a puppet. It has always been you and I, Kylo. Since the beginning. We are master and apprentice.”

“I am not your apprentice,” Ben hisses. “I choose my own path.”

“And yet look where your path has taken you,” the other man answers with delight. “Right to me. And you’ve brought me something, haven’t you? The ritual of Nathema?”

Jeyna feels the small holocron grow hot in her pocket, vibrating with energy. She gives Ben an alarmed glance, and sees panic fill his eyes as he looks back at her.

The Sith’s face crumples in a sick imitation of a smile. “Yes. The ritual will allow me to gain power by stripping the force from worlds. And with the Infinite Engine, I’ll be able to raise entire systems for slaughter. I will become unstoppable.”

Ben doesn’t answer him, turning his eyes from Jeyna to glare at the Sith Lord. His lightsaber ignites, the red beam crackling the air.

The wasted man on the throne laughs, voice full of mirth. “Ah. That is what you want, isn’t it? To strike me down, full of hatred?”

Ben takes a step forward, raising his weapon. His stance becomes aggressive. Jeyna startles as he pushes her backwards with the force, her feet sliding across the floor until he lets her come to a stop much farther from the throne.

“Yes! You hate me, I feel it, raging in you. I’ve haunted your dreams since you were a little boy. I plagued you with fear, I stalked your every moment with darkness. You can end it. Take your revenge! Kill me!” he screams, yellow eyes suddenly flaring with a supernatural glow beneath the black hood.

Ben prowls forward at the same time Jeyna’s intuition surges, understanding that he’s playing into some sort of trap. “Ben, don’t!” she screams. “This is what he wants!”

He pauses at the same time as a voice calls from behind them. She recognizes the gruff tone of its owner. “She’s right, Ben.”

She turns, relief filling her at the sight of Luke. He strides forward, towards the center of the room, his gaze focused on the dessicated husk on the throne.

“Any Sith struck down in hatred by their apprentice doesn’t truly die. That’s what you learned from your Master, isn’t it, Sidious?” Luke asks the Sith. The malevolent yellow eyes glare back at Skywalker, narrowing. “How many Sith are locked into that body with you? Hundreds? Thousands?”

Luke comes to a stop as a furious energy fills the cavernous space. Jeyna can sense her hair rising, nerves flinching in her skin, as the ominous feeling builds. She turns her gaze from the Sith, Sidious. She gasps in terror as she realizes the stadium around them, which had been empty only moments ago, is now filled.

The stands are packed full of what look like apparitions, shadowy figures filling the entire space. She realizes they are ghosts, the flashing blue electricity illuminating the fact that they are not corporeal. They’ve appeared in response to Luke’s question, and she doesn’t dare to guess at a total number.

“His body isn’t strong enough to contain them for much longer, Ben. It’s why he needs you. This has been his plan for you, all along,” Luke says. “You’re powerful enough to survive the transfer.”

Jeyna understands with terrifying clarity. Ben’s meant to be their final host, his natural power reinforced by the energy stolen through the ritual of Nathema. The Sith that could take possession of him would find immortality, using the ritual and engine in an endless cycle.

She’s relieved to see the red beam of his lightsaber droop, as reason apparently wins out over his rage. But it is a brief relief, before Sidious screams in a fury.

She is flung backwards by the force of the lightning storm he unleashes, even as he doesn’t target her. The blast of electricity strikes Ben and Luke, both raising their lightsabers at the last second to attempt to deflect it. Jeyna feels like the heat in the air is burning her skin, even at this distance. She winces at the brightness as she can’t tear her gaze away from the awful sight.

Both Ben and Luke are being pushed backwards, the lightning surging towards them in waves from Sidious’ fingertips as he cackles and shouts. She can feel the force pounding from Ben through their connection, as he uses it to shield himself from damage.

A burst of energy surges from Luke, forcing the electrical storm back towards the Sith Lord. He screams as it reaches him, and the nauseating smell of burnt flesh reaches Jeyna’s nose almost immediately. The lightning falters, and Luke pounces forward. A moment later, however, the Sith Lord jerks his hand, pulling Luke forward roughly.

She jerks at the sharp impact of the Jedi’s body with one of the spiked pillars surrounding the throne, his form falling onto the floor with a thud.

Sidious turns his attention on Ben, and Jeyna can feel the conflict arise between them in the force. Ben is making ground, advancing on him steadily, lightsaber lit. His strength in the force is overwhelming the Sith Lord, she can feel it pushing past the wall of dark energy Sidious sends out. She watches fearfully, unsure what Ben intends to do. If what Luke said is true, he can’t kill him.

It doesn’t seem to matter. When Ben has gained too much ground, within striking distance of the throne, Sidious snarls.

Jeyna screams as she is ripped from the ground, pain surging throughout her body in screaming waves. The agony rips along her spine, jerking her body into a curved contortion. It blinds her, her vision going bright white as breathless gasps leave her. She can’t find air to fill her lungs, every fiber of her body tortured. Her mind detects the sound of Ben screaming as if it is distant, coming to her from some far place.

It ends as soon as it began, and she is left to collapse into a pile on the hard ground. Jeyna tries to push herself up, but her sense of balance is careening wildly. Her vision swirls back into focus, and she sees it when Sidious hits Ben with a terrifying blast of energy, sending him flying backwards from the throne. Sobs wrack her desperate gasps for air, her body still echoing with agony.

Her pain has distracted Ben, apparently giving the Sith Lord the upper hand. He strikes out again, with a surge of electricity, and Ben loses his grip on the lightsaber in favor of throwing his hands up. He barely manages to shield himself from the lightning, gathering enough of the force to block it.

The lightsaber tumbles to a stop between them, and Jeyna watches in horror as Sidious rises. The mechanical gears he is attached to shift and grind, the cables pulling taut as he is lifted like a demonic puppet.

“I tried to tell you, _she makes you weak!”_ he screams, disgust filling his voice. “But we’ll kill her, just as soon as we finish this!”

Ben roars with rage in response, the sound animalistic. She can feel their force energies battling, but his is too chaotic. He’s lost focus, his worry for her flooding their bond.

He’s lifted suddenly from the ground, levitating as his body twists and his shouts turned pained. She screams at the sight, feeling his suffering through the link. She desperately searches for Luke, trying to focus through the phantom of Ben’s pain to find a way to help. Skywalker’s body is gone, no longer laying by the spike where he’d fallen.

Where is he? Another scream comes from Ben, pain flashing through her awareness, and panic makes her heart explode with every thump inside her chest. She has to do something. She can’t stand witnessing his torture. Her eyes fall to the lightsaber, her hand flying to her pocket. The holocron. Could she distract the Sith Lord long enough to give Ben a chance?

She scrambles forward, snatching the weapon from the ground. She fumbles for the switch at the same time she pulls the small device from her pocket. The red beam of light energy bursts from the handle, heating her face.

Sidious’ wicked yellow eyes turn their focus from Ben to her, as she sees a dark figure creep up behind him. She recognizes the shape of Luke, his green lightsaber ignited as he sneaks towards the Sith. Sidious appears too distracted to notice the Jedi drawing closer.

“NO!” he screams, letting go of his force hold on Ben. She sees Ben crash to the ground, as she stabs his lightsaber down into the holocron.

Luke drives the green point of his lightsaber through the Sith Lord’s chest, as the energy from the holocron travels up the unstable red beam, hitting the lightsaber handle and fracturing the metal there. Jeyna’s eyes widen in fear as the kyber crystal explodes, simultaneous with the holocron’s destruction. The blast of energy throws her backwards, her head colliding with something hard as her body burns like it has been scorched everywhere. The pain is intense, but fleeting. It gives way to darkness.


	36. Ch. 36

Jeyna comes to in Ben’s arms, the pain vanishing as she hears Luke’s voice warning, “That’s enough, Ben.”

Her eyes open to the sight of Ben’s face above her, bruised, distraught, but otherwise perfectly alright. Relief floods her at the same time his eyebrows lift, eyes searching hers in disbelief. “You’re alive,” he says in awe.

She senses their connection flicker back into being and gratefully reaches out to feel him in the force. She’s surprised, detecting pain and despair beneath his shock. He isn’t bothering to hide it, his grip tightening on her as if afraid she’ll slip away.

“Yes?” she says weakly, confused.

“You weren’t a moment ago,” Luke explains bluntly. She shifts, attempting to sit up and fix the old Jedi with an alarmed stare. But Ben moves, pulling her into an embrace. She forces her chin up over his shoulder so she can breathe, even as his arms encircle her very firmly, locking her into the hug.

“I’m sorry, meaning I was dead?” she asks stupidly, brain sputtering. She turns her head as much as possible to look at Luke, crouched down by Ben’s side. Ben stays silent, holding her to him.

“Yes, you were definitely dead,” the older man confirms nonchalantly. Her mouth falls open in distress, and he adds, “But only for a little bit, if that helps.”

“And how am I now not dead?” she presses, stunned.

“The kid nearly drained his battery bringing you back,” Luke explains. “Probably would have, if I weren’t here.”

Ben finally relents, pulling back to take hold of her face, his large hands dwarfing her features between them. “Thank you,” she mumbles immediately at the sight of his honey eyes. He still looks astray, as if he’s having a hard time processing. Jeyna had no idea he was powerful enough to do something like bring a person back from death. She’s in awe at the thought of it.

He ignores the gratitude, gaze clouding over. “That was a stupid thing you did,” he says, voice so faint it's barely audible.

“Did it work?” she asks, struggling to see over him towards the throne. She can only assume the Sith Lord is defeated, remembering Luke’s lightsaber passing quite unopposed through his chest. “Is he dead? Sidious?” she asks.

“As dead as dead can be,” Luke confirms.

“Who was he?” Jeyna continues with her swarm of questions, desperately trying to make sense of everything. She looks to Ben, but his eyes are still stormy with repressed emotions, the chaos of them leaking through the connection and making her feel dizzy.

Luke answers when Ben doesn’t speak. “He was what remained of Emperor Sheev Palpatine. And his Master, Plagueis. And his master before him, so on and so forth.” He waves a hand dismissively, and she both sees and hears his exhaustion. He looks drained.

“But they didn’t… you’re still…you, right?” she presses. “I mean, what he was going to do to Ben-”

“It didn’t work with me, because I wasn’t striking out of anger. I did what I did to protect, the same way my father protected me from him,” Luke explains. Jeyna falls silent, content with her expanded understanding of the events that have occurred. Luke sighs, standing. “I hate to rush things along, but I need a ride. My X-wing wasn’t in the best of shape, and I had a rough landing.”

**On Board**

They let Luke pilot the ship, Jeyna following a still silent Ben into the dormitory. She watches as he drops the shattered remains of his lightsaber onto the workbench there. Guilt fills her chest at the sight of the broken pieces. It is mostly the metal of the handle, nothing left of the kyber crystal. It must have been completely disintegrated.

“I’m so sorry,” she apologizes. “I didn’t mean to destroy your lightsaber.”

He turns from her, his hands clenching into fists. She feels the anger travel through the bond between them, even as he pulls it away from her. He’s stretching the link as taut as it will go, without entirely severing their connection. But she can feel the pain throbbing in his chest regardless, echoing in hers, and her mouth falls open at it.

“Ben, I’m sorry-” Jeyna tries again.

“I can build another lightsaber,” he says lowly.

The parts rattle and shake on the workbench. “How could you do that to me?” he asks.

Her mind reels with confusion. “Do what to you? I was only trying to help!”

Ben turns on her, and her mouth clamps shut at the sight of him as he loses his grip on control. “Risking your life _is never going to help me!_ ” he shouts.

She recoils at the loudness of his voice, hurt filling her that he doesn’t understand. “But he was torturing you, I didn’t know what else to do!” Jeyna argues. Tears prickle her eyes.

“I’ve endured worse! I can handle anything, anything other than that! Do you know what it felt like? Do you know what it was like holding your body, empty, like a shell?!” he asks, the fury in his voice giving way to a trembling tone. His chest is rising and falling erratically as he turns from her again. She’s shaking, taken aback by his anger directed at her.

“There was nothing in the force,” he continues, voice dropping lower and lower. “Nothing where you should have been. Your energy just slipped away, and I couldn’t feel you, I couldn’t hear you…”

He trails off, and she sees his hands shaking as he clenches them again, working them in and out of fists. She waits for a few minutes, letting him focus, trying not to push him. But when she reaches out in the force, and weakly tries to strengthen their connection, he rebuffs her. The sensation of him blocking her feeble attempt snaps her own control, sadness taking over.

The tears overflow from her eyelashes, as she fights back sobs. “Ben, please, I’m sorry,” she cries out in distress. He flinches, finally looking back at her. His face falls at the sight of her crying, anger vanishing. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I only meant to destroy the holocron. I didn’t know it would do that,” she continues quickly, voice quavering.

He crosses the small space and pulls her against him in a crushing hug. She cries against his chest, and after a while he relaxes his hold. His hand lightly rubs a now familiar circle on her back as he tries to sooth her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you,” he says after a few minutes. “I’m sorry, Jeyna.”

Ben combs his fingers through her hair, and she backs away from his shirt to look up at him. The air leaves his chest in a rushed exhale when he sees her eyes, and he drops his lips to kiss her splotched cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs again.

Jeyna breathes more calmly when he lets the connection between them come back to full strength. He isn’t trying to hold back anymore. “I love you. I just wanted to help,” she says. Doesn’t he know she would never hurt him intentionally?

“I know,” he assures her. When he kisses her lips, she tastes the salty remnants of her tears on his skin. He pours his energy into their bond again, the power of it never failing to take her breath away.

She can perceive something, tied between them. There is a knot in their energies, linking them. While his energy is a raging storm, there is a fixed point to him, centered on the smaller, quieter energy that is hers. She doesn’t know when it developed, and she can only feel it now that he’s amplified her connection to the force for her.

Ben keeps the kiss gentle and slow. His fingers caress her cheeks, and drop to stroke her neck. What’s happening between them is building, both physically and in the force. Her heart races with his, their bodies pressing as close as possible. She pulls from his tempting lips, trying to catch her breath.

She knows they will get carried away if they continue, choosing instead to rest herself against him. Jeyna presses her ear to his chest, listening to the fast thump of his heart beat as his body warms her.

“Can you please just try to be more careful?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes,” she agrees seriously, before adding, “Next time I have to destroy an ancient evil ritual, I know to not use a lightsaber.”

She feels his chest heave in a sigh at her attempt at lightening the mood. “I’d rather we assume there won’t be a next time,” Ben complains.

**Somewhere in Hyperspace**

Jeyna feels better when she is clean, but groans when she immediately hears the sounds of an argument as she steps from the refresher. She finishes wringing out her damp hair before heading out of the dormitory, and towards the main hold.

“All grown up, and you’re still just as dense as a bantha!” Luke shouts as Jeyna joins them. He’s near the cockpit, and she quickly spots Ben near the comms room, fists clenched in anger.

“I’m not joining the Resistance again,” Ben grinds out. “I’m done being a pawn in other people’s games.”

“You could at least see your mother while we’re there!” Luke persists. “Just hear her out-”

“I said we will drop you on Endor,” he snaps back. “I never agreed to a reunion with her.”

“Drop me there, right, and fly off with your father’s ship? I promised Han when he came for me that I’d get this back to him,” Luke growls with irritation.

“Tell him I’ll leave it for him on Nar Shaddaa,” Ben retorts. “In pieces.”

“This is a productive conversation…” Jeyna mutters, eyes bouncing between the two disgruntled force users. She wonders if they always butted heads as much as now, or if the tension is a result of their barely existent truce.

“Can you talk some sense into him? Maybe he’ll listen to you,” the older man suggests, switching his focus to her. Jeyna gives him a slight shrug.

“It’s his choice,” she says uncertainly.

Luke gives a groan of frustration, storming out of the space. A moment later she hears the garage bay door shut. She looks to Ben, his eyes narrowed, jaw tense. “We should decide what we’re doing,” she says cautiously. “I was really hoping you didn’t want to go back to the First Order…”

She’s relieved when his expression softens. “I won’t make you go back there,” he assures her.

The answer soothes her, until she realizes he hasn’t spoken for himself, only her. She chews her bottom lip nervously. Surely he isn’t planning on returning to the First Order alone? They were enough to each other to assume they would stick together, weren’t they?

Baseless doubt fills her, as she suddenly longs for him to reassure her. A relationship is uncharted territory in her life, and as strongly as she feels for him, she is unsure how much she can safely assume.

And then there is the topic of the map. They’ve collected the last piece, and have yet to determine where it leads. Do they even want to pursue it, after the horrendous discoveries of the Ritual of Nathema and the Infinite Engine? Do they still need to find whoever called to her in the force, or has the threat passed with the death of Sidious? Is the galaxy safe now?

Her head aches with the questions, and she forces most of them aside for the time being.

Jeyna approaches him, stopping to search his eyes, wondering what is going on in his thoughts. Sometimes she wishes she were as strong with the force as he was. She can feel his confusion, but nothing more definite than that. “But where do you want to go?” she asks eventually.

His gaze flicks away. “I… I don’t know.”

She wonders why he doesn’t want to see Leia. Is he still holding a grudge against her, for agreeing to send him to Luke? Or is it something else?

Ben sits suddenly, letting his weight fall into one of the flight seats. He slumps forward, his head falling into his hand. Jeyna frowns, kneeling in front of the seat to take his free hand in both of hers. She traces his long fingers before turning his hand over, examining the lines of his palm.

“Just ask what you want to ask,” he orders, avoiding meeting her gaze.

She strokes her thumb along where his palm meets his wrist softly. “Why don’t you want to see her?”

His hand spasms, as if he were about to curl it into a fist before forcing himself to leave it relaxed. She bends down to press a kiss to his knuckles. He takes a deep breath before releasing it slowly.

“I don’t want to see what I’ve done to her,” Ben admits quietly. “I don’t want to see the way she looks at me…”

“It might hurt,” Jeyna agrees honestly. “But Ben… She loves you. Nothing would matter more than that to her. I think that’s what you would see, when you look at her. Love.”

He finally looks up, his eyes full of trepidation, highlighting his uncertainty. “I don’t know my path now. I don’t want her to hope…”

“She’s your mother. I don’t think she can stop hoping for what she thinks is best for you,” Jeyna reasons. “But that doesn’t mean she will stop loving you if you choose something different than what she hopes for.”

She can’t tell him Leia won’t be disappointed if he rejects the Resistance, or returns to the First Order. But she hopes he can be brave enough to face it and still see her. She remembers Leia’s sadness when talking about him, the guilt she seemed to harbor over making poor decisions for her son.

It causes a tightness in her chest, as she realizes how envious she is that he still has family, regardless of their poor relations. She has spent her life alone, disconnected. If it were up to her, she’d drag him back to his mother. But it isn’t her choice to make.

“You’ll be there?” he asks suddenly, pulling her from her thoughts.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“You’ll be there? No matter what I choose?”

His eyes lock onto hers as she nods immediately. “Of course. If you want me there.”

“All I know for certain is that I want you there,” he replies. His hand grips hers, pulling her gently to her feet. When she’s standing, he buries his face into her stomach, arms winding about her to lock her in place.

“Well at least we’ve got that figured out,” Jeyna replies, smiling softly down at the mess of his dark hair. If that was the only question she could have answered for the time being, it was enough.


	37. Ch. 37

**Endor**

The hatch opens, revealing warm sunlight shining down on the opening in the trees. It plays off ferns and moss, glinting with early afternoon brightness. They’ve landed facing the Rebel base, and through the other ships that clutter the clearing, there is a small array of buildings built low to the ground. The trees of Endor rise around them, providing quite a bit of cover.

Two men are approaching their ship rapidly. Jeyna recognizes one as the pilot, Poe Dameron. She doesn’t know the other man, but she knows the looks on both of their faces. Equal parts alarmed and on guard, they both have blasters at the ready.

Luke stops Ben at the top of the ramp. “I might regret this,” he says hesitantly, before reaching for his belt, unclipping something from inside of his heavy robe. “But it doesn’t feel like I should have this any longer. Maybe I was only keeping it for you.”

Jeyna’s eyebrows shoot up at the sight of the silver handle, and she watches as Ben takes it tentatively. He turns it over, recognition flashing in his eyes.

“You’re giving it to me?” he asks his uncle doubtfully, eyes narrowed. He looks down at the lightsaber as if it’s a trap, and Luke will snatch it back at any moment. Jeyna’s curiosity is piqued as she wonders where it came from. It looks distinctly different from the handle of Luke’s green saber.

Luke nods once. “I think you might need it. Just don’t let her blow this one up, too,” he says, shooting an accusatory look at Jeyna. She returns it with a sour expression, the topic still a sore spot for her.

“Don’t think the fighting is over yet, Ben,” Luke suggests, starting down the ramp once more.

Poe and the other man have arrived, lingering on the ground. Both are staring up at Ben. While the other man just looks wary, Poe looks infuriated at the sight of him. Jeyna supposes Poe is holding on to a grudge, having been left unconscious on a beach the last time they ran into each other.

“What are you looking at? It’s just my nephew,” Luke says to them, tone snarky as he passes them by. The one Jeyna doesn’t recognize looks horrified, his eyes widening as he murmurs a little too loudly to Poe, “Isn’t his nephew _Kylo Ren_?!”

Poe nods, not answering. It’s barely detectable when his weapon twitches upwards, towards them. But Ben sees it, and growls all the same. “Are you going to try to shoot me again? That worked out well for you last time,” he says, sarcasm soaking his words. Jeyna follows him down off the ship, trying to ignore the way Poe’s eyes jerk between her and Ben, struggling to make sense of Kylo Ren’s appearance at a Rebel outpost. It must be hard for him to understand why Luke had been so casual about it. Poe looks frozen with indecision as they pass.

“Hey,” he calls finally after their backs. “HEY! I don’t know what’s going on here, but-”

Jeyna stops walking when she sees Ben’s body go rigid, his hands instantly forming into fists. But it’s not Poe’s words that seem to be affecting him. Looking up, she catches sight of Leia coming towards them.

“It’s alright, Poe,” the older woman calls. Jeyna chances a glance, and sees that despite the General’s assurances, neither of the men have relaxed. 

Leia stops a few feet in front of them, her eyes locked on Ben. He stares back, face devoid of emotion. The only signs of the storm raging in him are his clenched hands, and the wild surges of energy coming to Jeyna through their bond.

Leia’s gaze is surprised, but as Jeyna watches it slowly fills with affection and relief. “I didn’t know if I would ever see you again,” Leia admits, voice tender with emotion.

Jeyna tries to repress a gasp as she feels a wave of pain wash through Ben at the words. But as silent and frozen as he appears, his eyes are nearly pleading. Leia give Jeyna a quick smile. “It’s nice to see you again, Jeyna,” she greets. Jeyna murmurs a hello back, but Leia barely seems to hear it. She’s examining Ben critically, trying to assure her eyes that he is real.

“You’re so tall,” Leia comments, giving him a small, hesitant smile. “I suppose that happens when you grow up. I’m so happy to see you, Ben.”

“I’m not joining the Resistance,” he spits out quickly, as if forcing himself to get it out of the way. Jeyna grimaces to herself at his lack of eloquence, wishing he would’ve eased into it. But she can tell he’s struggling, barely coping with seeing his mother again. She tries to send her own calm energy through the link, and is surprised when she feels it pulled. It’s almost like he’s grabbed onto it, using it as a lifeline.

Leia’s smile falls slightly, but her eyes still take in Ben like she’s trying to memorize the sight of him now, changed into a man after all the years they were separated. The love on Leia’s face turns fierce, determined. “That’s alright,” she says quietly. “Are you okay, Ben?”

Ben physically recoils at the question, as though his mother’s concern for him stings. “I’m…better,” he says, the harshness finally leaching from his voice. “I’m better now,” he repeats.

Jeyna is distracted when she hears Poe answering his comm link a short distance away from them, voice low and urgent.

“That’s all I want,” Leia says, voice breaking with emotion until she tries to regain calm. “All I want is for you to be okay. Even if you don’t come back to me. I just want you to be safe, and happy, wherever you go.”

Though the hurt in her voice is plain at the thought of her son not wanting their relationship back, the truth is also obvious. She’s spent so long worrying over his wellbeing, that she would be content to just know he is going to be alright.

Jeyna looks to Ben, feeling that pull through the force as he depends on her for balance. He looks close to faltering, his walls wearing down as he faces his mother’s love. His lips quiver as he admits finally, “I’m not going back to the First Order. I was born into this mess…and now I just want to be free of it. I want my own path.”

Leia doesn’t argue, doesn’t even look disappointed. In fact, Jeyna has the bizarre sense that she is proud of her son in the moment. The glint in her eye almost looks encouraging, the small smile returning.

“Then you should walk your own path, son,” she agrees, voice reassuring.

The feeling from Ben is instantaneous, Leia’s words soothing his soul, calming the storm of uncertainty that had been raging inside him. Jeyna breathes easier, relieved at the tentative progress they’ve made. It’s short lived, however.

“General,” Poe calls. “I’m sorry to interrupt whatever… _This_ is. But we have a situation that we need to deal with, now.”

Leia only spares a minute glance at the pilot before returning her eyes to Ben. The vulnerability that is now plain on her son’s face seems to reassure her, and she comes forward, crossing the last few steps between them. She pulls him down into an embrace, and Jeyna is surprised to see him hunch obediently to accommodate her much smaller stature.

His eyes fleet closed for just a moment, his face relaxing. But all too soon it is over, and Leia frees him from her arms. She reaches up to lay a hand on his cheek, and Jeyna feels her eyes well with tears from emotions that don’t belong to her.

“I love you, Ben,” Leia tells him. “I love you wherever you are, and whatever you do.”

There is static from the commlink, and Poe’s voice is again urgently speaking into it. Jeyna catches bits of the conversation, and can make out that there is a situation with the First Order. Have they already found a leader to replace Ben? Has Hux taken control of the fleet?

Leia’s calm voice recaptures Jeyna’s attention. “Now go find your own path,” she tells her son, smiling fiercely.

**HyperSpace**

They depart Endor moments before the Resistance ships start clearing out as well. Jeyna was curious, but from the snippets she’d caught from Poe, it sounded like the Rebels had gained an edge recently. Perhaps Ben leaving them without a Supreme Leader had crippled the First Order? Or perhaps the spy who had been leaking information to the Resistance was taking a toll?

She refrains from asking Ben about it, content to let things settle for the moment between them. They’ve both been through a lot, and could use a moment of peace together.

Ben jumps to hyperspace, and Jeyna immediately lunges forward in the copilot’s seat to bury her face in her hands. The blurring of hyperspace outside the cockpit nauseates her, but she’s surprised when her knee knocks into a panel beneath the dash. The whole thing comes loose, spilling a bizarre assortment of items onto the floor. Is it a hidden compartment?

She paws through the collection uncertainly, before holding up what looks like a heavily modified blaster.

Ben puts his father’s ship into autopilot before looking over. His gaze turns alarmed when he sees her holding the weapon. “Be careful with that,” he warns, standing up to come closer.

Jeyna shuffles the weapon aside. “I know. Aleck trained me with blasters, remember?”

“Your aim did seem to be better,” he agrees. She remembers the Knight on Nathema, the one she’d managed to hit in the throat. The memory sends an unpleasant feeling drifting through her belly, and she returns her attention to the other items to distract from it.

She picks up a pair of golden dice, held together by a chain.

Ben’s sigh is audible, and he crouches down next to her, both of their bodies squeezed into the small space. She holds the dice out to him hesitantly, and he takes them in his hand, eyes haunted.

“Are they your father’s, too?” Jeyna asks quietly, unsure if she should press. He nods.

“He was gambling with them when he won this ship,” Ben tells her. “He used to let me play with them, when he was flying… I wanted to be like him. A pilot.”

“You are a very good pilot,” she compliments him truthfully. “I only feel a little bit sick when you fly. As opposed to a lot, with anyone else.”

He smiles reluctantly, before holding his hand out and letting the dice drop. They land back on the pile of random items, near what looks suspiciously like an old cannister of spice. She supposes if his father were a smuggler, illegally modified blasters and illicit drugs wouldn’t be a surprising stash on the ship.

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to be anything like him now,” Ben says.

Hearing the reluctance in his voice, Jeyna tries to change the subject. “What is this ship called, anyway?” she wonders.

Ben stands, retreating from the pile of memories. “The Millennium Falcon.”

Jeyna joins him by the navigation chart. “And where are we taking the Millennium Falcon?”

Ben looks at her, something in his gaze shifting to predatory. “Anywhere. Where do you want to go?” he asks.

She hesitates to answer, unsure of what she had been considering suggesting. The silence seems to goad him on, and he cocks his head slightly while watching her think. Ben presses forward, and she only needs to match it with two steps back before she is against the wall of the cockpit. His hands raise to the metal on either side of her head, pinning her in.

Her heart beats faster at his rapid change in mood, recalling when he’d once threatened to take her back to the planet with the beach. Her body grows aroused just at the thought of what he’d intended to do with her there. “Well I had an idea, but…I’m not sure if we need to, now,” she explains. Her breath catches when he tilts her face up, his gaze intense.

“Oh? What was your idea?” he pushes.

Jeyna licks her lips, distracted by the seductive tone of his question. His eyes drop to her mouth, drawn by the small motion. “Dantooine,” she stutters out. “I saw a cave there, when I was looking for the-the first holocron-” She pauses what she’s saying when Ben tilts his head, his mouth finding the tender skin of her neck and covering it in kisses. “It had- _Ben_ ,” she groans lightly when he bites her, the pressure bordering between pleasure and the beginning of pain. He soothes over the spot with his tongue, and she breathes out in a rapid exhale.

“It had what?” he asks, murmuring against her neck. “Tell me.” His hands fall to her shirt, tugging it up to slide underneath. At the feeling of his warm fingers grazing over her skin, she shivers with excitement.

“Crystals,” she sighs. “Kyber crystals.”

“Mm,” he mumbles, and she jerks when he finds one of her nipples, his thumb playing with the bud. It shoots a tendril of pleasure straight to her core. She moans, the tension of how long they’ve been denying themselves rushing back into her body. Jeyna’s muscles are taut with desire, even as her head feels like it’s swimming.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited?” Ben asks, his voice a hoarse whisper, and she swallows with nervousness. Jeyna can perceive the lust coming from him, it’s burning her up like a blaze. But she can tell he means something more than that.

Then his lips meet hers, and their emotions are surging, feeding into the fire that’s been left unattended for too long. He lifts her up against the wall, hands on her thighs, and she clings to his neck, her legs wrapping tightly around him. Their bodies are pressed close, but it’s not enough.

He claims her lips, her tongue, taking control of her mouth. And she relents, loving the taste of him, letting him kiss her until her lips are deliciously swollen. She moans into him, and the connection lets her feel the thrill of pleasure it shoots through his body. It triggers a similar effect in hers, a chain reaction that makes their kisses turn hungry, needy.

He pulls away, panting, and she opens her eyes to find his. Pleasure builds in her at the sight, just his wild eyes enough to stir her lust. “I’m sorry,” he breathes.

She parts her lips, running her tongue over the skin, trying to recapture the taste of him. “For what?” she asks finally, realizing her arms are trembling around his neck. Her body feels like it’s vibrating, her mind slow to understand what he means.

Her heart races when he says slowly, his voice dropping roughly, “I can’t wait any longer.” 


	38. Ch. 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead

Jeyna stumbles as Ben leads her to the dormitory, her mind too fixated on his hot mouth dominating hers, his hands roaming and grabbing at any part of her he can reach. She can’t even think about where she’s stepping, he won’t relent long enough for her to clear her mind.

There is an urgency to him now she hasn’t experienced before, and Jeyna realizes just how much control he’d been exercising. His need fills her senses, lust dominating his mind. He’s abandoned himself to it. She can’t feel anything else through the bond but how starving he is, and his hunger is fixated completely on her.

He gives an impatient noise and picks her up, swinging her through the doorway to the sleeping quarters. He sits her down on her feet, only to fist his fingers into the material of her shirt, frustrated. “Take this off before I rip it off,” he growls. The order combined with his rough, throaty voice sends a jolt down her spine.

“Yours, too,” she insists. His eyes search hers, confrontational at her demanding tone. But he relents, stepping back just a breadth to yank the bottom of his shirt upwards.

She staggers back from Ben to obey him, stripping her top. He is immediately back on her, one of his hands pressing flat on her back to urge her body back against his. The other circles her neck to pull her to his mouth.

Jeyna eagerly returns his kiss, urged on at the needy groan that leaks from his throat. Her fingertips search the muscles of his back, exploring as much of him as she can reach. She presses her tongue against his lips, unusually forward, and is rewarded when he parts them for her. She swirls her tongue around his, before running it across the top of his teeth. When she pulls back, she boldly grabs his full lower lip with hers, sucking on it, desire spurring her on.

She drops a hand to his pants, daring to find the shape of him there. Jeyna pulls back slightly, her mouth falling open when she palms his arousal. She hears his sharp intake of breath distantly, her mind blurring in pleasure at the hardness of him against her hand. Her core clenches in anticipation, body longing for him to be inside of her. She’s trembling when she fumbles with his pants, attempting to undo them.

Ben catches her hands in a firm grip, and she feels his hesitation. “Please,” she begs, daring to raise her eyes to his beneath her lashes. “Please let me taste you.”

Ben’s mouth falls open at her needy tone, the hesitation disappearing from his gaze and replaced with something feral. He drops her hands, a silent permission. Jeyna falls to her knees immediately, resuming pulling him free of his pants. She licks her lips when her hand finds him again, impatient, until finally she sees what she’s been needing.

The length and width of him is enough to make the rational side of her brain hesitate with trepidation. But her rational mind is small at the moment, overcome with hunger and awe at the sight of this part of him. She wraps her hand around him experimentally, her breathing shallow. She feels his muscles twitch, the gorgeous head of his cock leaking for her.

She looks up to find Ben’s eyes, locked on her, and she licks the bead of precum from his tip. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, hard. She maintains eye contact with him as she lets her wet tongue trail him, the taste and texture of his skin only enticing her to take more of him. Ben’s eyes fall closed when she takes him in her mouth, a very low moan meeting her ears.

Jeyna wants to pull more noises from him, wants to bring him pleasure. Watching him give in to the sensations is intoxicating. She starts slowly, finding a pattern between the motions of her tongue and the bobbing of her head. She uses her hand on the part of him she can’t take in her mouth, and another noise escapes him. Ben’s hips buck before he tries to restrain himself.

She realizes she can feel him through the connection, feel his responses to her. She sucks hard on him as she pulls back, and he groans her name. Jeyna picks up her pace, swirling her tongue around his head and eagerly lapping up more of his precum. She takes as much of him as she can, feeling him bump into her throat. She moans around his length, and feels his pleasure surge erratically.

“Not yet,” Ben gasps, and his hands come to her hair, urging her back from him. She lets his cock leave her mouth with a pop, looking up to find his desperate eyes open and focused on her. He’s panting, she realizes, his chest heaving with the effort to control his body’s responses. Something about it leaves her in awe, that she can bring him to this place. She wants more, but contents herself with pressing a kiss to his tip, before giving him a small, shy smile.

The response it triggers in Ben sends a wave of energy through her, goosebumps erupting across her skin at the animalistic desire that fills him. He growls aggressively, yanking her to her feet and pushing her back to one of the bunks.

Ben urges her down onto her back with a hand around her throat, firm, but not squeezing. He kisses her roughly, a reminder that he is in control. Her body responds positively, hips jerking up against the leg he’s planted between hers. She looks down, eyes desperately searching for the part of him she needs, but he’s tucked himself away.

She gasps as Ben pulls at the thin material of her bra, not bothering with the clasps. The stitches give way with a rip, barely offering any resistance to him. He kisses his way down her neck, over the sensitive skin near her collar bone, to settle his mouth around one of her hard nipples. He alternates between sucking and flicking his tongue, before giving her other nipple an equal amount of attention. His dark hair tickles her skin, her clit nearly throbbing with need between her legs. Jeyna grinds her hips against his thigh, desperately trying to get relief from her need.

Ben moves his leg away from her frantic attempts, and kisses his way down her stomach, pausing above the clasp of her pants to look up at her face. His eyes take her breath away, the love filling them surprising her. “You’re everything,” he whispers, pressing a small kiss to her flushed skin.

His energy surrounds her, somehow the power of him in the force managing to feel like it is caressing her. She whimpers at the sensations building, words evading her. He’s too much. Everything about this moment is too much, overwhelming her. Jeyna feels like she’s been swept away, even as her body reassures her to take more. There is no stopping her craving this time. Her heart pounds away in her chest, her mind desperate with desire.

If he hears her thoughts, or simply feels the same at the moment, she doesn’t know. But he drops his gaze to undo her pants. “I’ll give you more,” he reassures her. “It’s okay.”

Ben’s tender voice fills her chest with joy, and she bites her lip at the surge of love she feels. She lifts her hips to help him expose her, and he pulls her panties off as well. He discards them, his eyes falling to her naked body and tracing over her slowly. She tries to steady her breathing, each small inhale catching before escaping her again.

When Ben reaches her eyes, his gaze steadies her. Jeyna focuses on the honey brown shade, even as his fingertips stroke her folds, sliding through her wetness to caress her need. When he circles her clit, her eyes clamp closed, head falling back to the bed. She’s already so close, her body so far gone.

Ben’s motions take over her senses, everything else falling away but the feel of him touching her. She’s distantly aware of the noises escaping her in a near constant rush, whimpers and small moans mixed with ragged breathing. She hasn’t felt pleasure this intense before without being at her peak, and she struggles to hang on, brain barely coping.

“Ben,” she gasps out, the only word she can seem to form. “ _Ben_ …” Her voice is pleading, desperate. Can’t he feel how much she needs more? She needs him inside of her, needs him filling her, needs everything he can give her. Ben’s there, in her thoughts, his presence anchoring her mind. She clings to him to steady her rocking world.

“It’s okay,” Ben repeats softly. She cries out when his fingers slide into her, working her gently, even as his pace gradually picks up.

Jeyna battles to form a sentence, to beg him. She can’t handle much more, she needs relief. She forces her mind to focus, and is able to cry out quietly for him. “Please, I need you…” Her voice is pitiful, trembling. She reaches for him, grabbing onto his arms, attempting to tug him on top of her.

He complies, his resolve crumbling to his own lust and her desperation. His fingers withdraw. He crawls over her, settling between her legs and helping her rip the pants from his hips. She eagerly wraps her legs around him when he is bare too, clinging to him, feeling something in his mind. She realizes he’s hesitating, worried about what they are about to do. He’s concerned for her.

“It’s alright,” she murmurs, reaching up to caress his cheek. Ben’s eyes catch hers, searching. They’re volatile, a battle raging in them between reckless abandon and control for her sake. She kisses him, urging him on, rocking her hips up against him. Their mouths are still locked together when he reaches down, and she feels the head of his cock sliding against her.

Jeyna’s mind is screaming out affirmation, her muscles tensing in anticipation, when he pushes into her. It stings slightly, her body still rather inexperienced and his size stretching her beyond what she’s taken before. But there’s so much relief in the feeling of him entering her, her muscles relax, and he’s able to press deeper.

A moan escapes her when he pulls from her mouth, the word yes echoing repetitively in her brain as she lifts her hips to meet him. Ben moves carefully, rocking further into her with each gentle push, and her body adjusts, satiated when he is fully inside of her. She lets her head relax back, her mouth falling open in bliss as he stills for a moment.

“Ben, yes…” she whispers, the pain ebbing away until it is gone. It’s all the encouragement he seems to need, and he begins moving again, faster. She can feel him exalting her body through their connection. He’s in wonder at the feeling of her, wet and hot around him. Her hips jerk at the peek inside his mind, her own pleasure reacting to his. Ben’s movements turn rougher, his thoughts falling away as instinct takes over, and she digs her nails into his skin. It’s all she can do to hang on, her orgasm lingering tantalizingly close, each thrust near perfection.

Jeyna’s muscles spasm as pleasure shoots between her legs, her walls clinging to him, and his pace breaks for a moment, dangerously close to release. He slows, and they meet for another kiss, their tongues tangling together, stealing one another’s breath.

He doesn’t need to say it aloud, as he repeats his earlier statement to her, voice shaking through their connection: **_You’re everything…_**

Ben pulls back to tilt his hips, striking into her at a different angle, and she feels him hitting a spot deep inside of her. Her mouth falls open at the sensation, the coils of pleasure that have been building twisting tight and hot. She never wants it to end. Their connection surges stronger, their minds linking together fully. 

Jeyna can feel it when he detects her response, and his movement turns controlled, methodical. He intentionally drives himself into that spot in a steady rhythm. She cries out sharply when his hand reaches for her clit, brushing over it. It doesn’t take very long before she’s lost, her orgasm rolling over her in a forceful rush.

The world falls away in the face of her pleasure, the waves of it making her muscles spasm and lock onto him. She’s loud, but she barely realizes it. She feels it everywhere, her limbs rushing with relief, pleasure filling her core and pulsing outwards. She feels his thrusts accelerate, driving into her urgently as he joins her at the peak. She can barely detect Ben’s orgasm slam into him, hears the strangled moan come from his chest. Her mind is too distant, high on release, to process anymore.

When it recedes enough for her to use her senses again, her vision is swimming. Her blood is rushing through her veins, muscles buzzing with a pleasant high. Ben’s let himself collapse on top of her, and though his weight is nearly crushing her into the bunk, she doesn’t care.

Jeyna lifts the only arm she can free to stroke his hair soothingly, feeling his nose against her neck as he presses his face to her skin. He’s still inside her when her core clenches weakly, pleasure lingering in the muscles there. He groans, hips rocking slightly into her before he stills again.

Their breathing evens out together, and when Ben finally lifts his face, he raises his eyes hesitantly to hers. The smile on his face is so small, cautious, it nearly shatters her heart.

“I love you,” she whispers fondly. His smile grows, messy hair clinging to his forehead with sweat.

“I know,” he says teasingly. She fights the urge to swat at him playfully.

“Then get off me, I can’t breathe,” she complains. He laughs, lifting himself off her and pulling her up to sit.

“Are you okay?” he asks. She searches his honey gaze questioningly, before she realizes he’s felt it before her. Beneath the flood of hormones and buzz of the afterglow, she is a little sore.

She shakes it off, giving him a reassuring grin. “I’ll be fine,” she says. He tilts her face up, bending to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. She closes her eyes, suddenly sleepy, but so content.

**Later**

They’re drifting in space, destination not yet decided. Neither of them seem to care where they are going. They’ve cleaned up in the refresher, and are now laying, somewhere delirious between asleep and awake, in one of the bunks.

Jeyna listens to Ben’s heart beating beneath her ear, the steady sound luring her closer to a full sleep. His chest rises evenly beneath her head, and she tucks herself even closer to his side. She doesn’t care where they go, as long as she can feel like this with him. She doesn’t ever remember being this happy before.

She’d had an idea to suggest Dantooine so he could repair his lightsaber. The kyber crystals there had looked to be of high enough quality for him to replace the one she’s disintegrated on the holocron.

But she doesn’t know if he wants to repair it. Perhaps he’s content to use the one Luke had given him. She’s curious about it, but she doesn’t have enough energy to ask about it. Sleep tugs insistently on her brain, and she finally relents to its pull.

She’s barely unconscious when the words come to her, directly entering her brain: _This isn’t over. You have to find me. Before it’s too late._

Jeyna jerks upright suddenly, her heart spasming as she returns to wakefulness abruptly. The forcefulness behind the words hurts her head, and she feels close to nausea at the ache that blooms in her skull.

“Jeyna!?” Ben’s voice is sleepy as he sits up, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

She feels her stomach drop as she fights the urge to be sick. She presses her palm to her forehead, willing back the pain. “This isn’t over,” she admits, echoing the words that were placed into her brain. “He said this isn’t over.”


	39. Ch. 39

**On the Millennium Falcon**

Jeyna wakes up before Ben, but she lingers in the bunk next to him. It’s too cozy next to his side for her to want to move. Her head is resting on his shoulder, and she studies his hand covering hers on his chest. She moves her fingers, noting how small they look in comparison to his.

_This isn’t over…You have to find me…Before it’s too late._

She lets her eyes fall closed, wishing that she could block the words from her mind. She’d been hoping that the death of Sidious meant the dream wouldn’t come true. That the threat against the galaxy had been resolved. She now sees that was a foolish hope. Whoever had reached out to her before is still there, and she fears he won’t stop until she finds him. Until she uses the map.

How could it be Revan, after all these years? The thought strikes her as nearly impossible. Where had he been, and how had he preserved his life force for millennia?

She can’t stop her brain from getting carried away, and she realizes her thinking might wake Ben up if she stays near him. She pulls her hand from his gently, shifting to slip out of the blankets.

Jeyna pulls her shirt and panties back on, but is reluctant to dress in anything more. She’s overheated from the combination of Ben’s warmth and the blankets of the bunk. Her skin feels hot, the cool air of the ship a relief. She leaves him to sleep, wandering the ship at random.

She spots the still-sparking remains of HK-47 in the medbay as she passes it. She’ll need to recruit Ben’s repair skills to fix it, remembering how he’d been able to fix their commlink on Kashyyyk. She keeps walking, slowly, exploring the old smuggler’s vessel. She can see where repairs have been made over the years, where newer upgrades have been installed. Someone’s retrofitted what looks to be a galley in the crew quarters.

How much time had Leia and Han spent on this ship, she wonders, before their family fell apart? She frowns, continuing on to find another sleeping quarters. It looks well used, and she wonders who had been living there. If Han and Leia’s belongings were in the other space, who had slept here?

Jeyna can’t help herself, and gives in to the urge to investigate. Her curiosity has always been strong, even when she knows she shouldn’t humor it. And as she pulls open the locker, she feels as if she’s invading someone’s privacy.

There’s a holopad on the shelf. She lifts it tentatively, a worm of guilt in her heart suggesting she shouldn’t go any further. But she’s too intrigued to listen to it. She activates the holopad, and nearly drops it at the sight it projects.

It’s a Wookie, she realizes. It startles her at first, as the only experiences she’s had with the species were the rather negative ones on Kashyyyk. But when she looks closer, she notices he’s holding a child, perhaps only four or five years old.

Her eyes widen as she recognizes the wavy, dark hair, the long nose, the sensitive eyes. Even as small as he is in the picture, she can tell it is Ben. But despite all the similarities, there is one glaring difference. He’s smiling, his grin so broad and joyous she can’t help but smile too. He looks ecstatic, the way only a child can.

She studies it for as long as she can bear, before forcing herself to turn the holopad off and put it away. Whoever the Wookie was who normally lived in this space, he had clearly saved the image of him and young Ben for a long time. Something about that makes her sad, and she retreats from the quarters.

Eventually Jeyna ends up at the cockpit, settling onto the cool metal floor to examine the maps they’ve collected. She picks up Ben’s datapad before frowning when she realizes it is locked to his prints. She settles her thumb on the screen anyway, stubbornly not wanting to have to wake him. She’s surprised when the device unlocks for her.

“I loaded your prints into it, in case something happened to me.”

Jeyna nearly drops it in surprise, turning her head to see Ben lingering in the doorway to the cockpit. His hair is disastrously messy, and though he’s pulled on pants, he’s foregone a shirt. True to his word, the injuries from his fight with the Knights of Ren are nearly gone. She can see it now that he’s removed the bacta patches. Only scars remain, still the red of fresh new skin.

Her heart beats faster at the sight of him like that, and she lets her eyes focus on his face instead of roaming his body. Her own body is all too keen to replay the pleasure she’d felt with him if she’d let it.

“How long have you been awake?” she asks curiously.

“Since you climbed out of the bunk,” Ben says with a slight shrug.

“And you’ve just been letting me snoop around the ship this whole time?” she replies, raising her eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yes,” he confirms, stepping forward to lean against the wall of the cockpit. She watches as he slides down slowly, until he’s seated against it, his long legs stretched out alongside her. “I’m not hiding anything from you.”

She smiles slightly at the sound of that, wondering if she’ll eventually get to ask about everything she wants to know. There are so many questions she has for him. Ben’s presence grows in her mind, what had once seemed like an intrusion now feeling natural to her. He returns her smile, his eyes sleepy. “You can ask your questions, whenever I can ask mine,” he says.

“What questions do you have?” Jeyna replies, confused.

Ben’s steady gaze holds her for a moment before he responds. “I want to know as much about your history, as you do about mine. Does that surprise you?”

She bites her bottom lip slightly. It does surprise her, she realizes. Wouldn’t her life seem boring, compared to his? And can’t he just pull whatever he wants to know from her brain, like he had when they first met?

“I’d rather hear you tell me,” Ben says softly, responding to the questions she hasn’t even spoken aloud.

Jeyna moves, shifting to sit beside him, resting against his shoulder. “Alright, then,” she agrees. Her eyes fall closed as he moves his hand to her bare thigh, his fingers stroking her skin lazily.

She realizes she is still so tired, her body seeming to want to sleep forever now that it appears safe to do so. But before she can relax, the words return to her thoughts. _You have to find me. Before it’s too late._

She feels Ben’s hand stiffen, freezing in place. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs.

“For what?”

“I made you find the rest of the holocrons. Now, because of me, you have someone haunting your thoughts. In resolving my own problem, I’ve created one for you,” Ben says slowly. She can feel the guilt shimmering through his words, lingering in the force between them.

Jeyna shakes her head immediately. “I would’ve gone after those holocrons with or without you. I wouldn’t have stopped. Pursuing my studies was all I had.”

She falls silent as she realizes her words remind her of Ben’s, when she’d questioned how he had embraced the dark side for so long. He’s said the darkness was all he had. In a strange way, she can relate to blind devotion to a single cause, in the absence of anything more meaningful. How easy it felt for her, now, to want to turn from her pursuit of Revan. Now that she had something else. She takes Ben’s hand in hers.

He’s silent for a long moment, but she can feel that she’s eased some of his guilt. “But perhaps, without me, you would’ve been stopped before you got to this point,” Ben suggests.

“Perhaps, without you, I would’ve died trying. I couldn’t have handled Freedon Nadd on my own,” Jeyna argues back gently. “Or the spiders…” she adds, shivering at the memory of the overgrown arachnids.

She feels his slight laughter in the shake of his shoulder against hers. “You’ve been tortured by a Sith Lord, possessed by the spirit of thousands of dead force users, and still spiders are your greatest fear,” Ben teases.

“Fear doesn’t have to be logical,” Jeyna argues. “It’s fairly illogical, from a philosophical standpoint.”

“I forget you are also an amateur philosopher,” Ben says, freeing his hand from hers to brush her hair back from her face. She turns to him, her smile falling slowly from her features at the heat in his gaze. Her nerves dance, deep in her belly, excitement flaring on its own.

She shifts, intent on kissing him, only to feel the datapad slide in her lap. She’d sat it there and forgotten about it during their conversation. Ben’s eyes slide from hers, down towards the device.

“I was going to examine the star map…” she admits.

“We’ll have to follow it,” Ben concedes. “Though I’m still not sure that dream was real…”

“But if it was real…” Jeyna trails off, remembering the terrible feeling of energy being drained from the web made of life. The fate of the entire galaxy could be hanging on this, and she feels the tightness of anxiety forming in her chest.

“Regardless, I can’t rest until we deal with it,” Ben says, voice turning more agitated. “He can affect your mind too strongly, and I can’t seem to block it. All it would take is another slip up, and you could end up back in a coma, or…”

She notes the way his voice drops off, refusing to say the word. Is he remembering when he’d nearly lost her, not that long ago? When he’d nearly, as Luke put it, drained himself trying to bring her back?

Jeyna opens the datapad’s display, navigating them to the star map. Ben is silent, peering over her shoulder as they examine the navigation charts together. She can make sense of them now, all together. But that is the end of the good news.

“Even if we use the most remote hyperspace route to get past the Outer Rim, this path puts us straight through the unknown territories,” Ben says quietly, reaching past her to adjust the map.

“It’s not even in the unknown regions,” Jeyna agrees, seeing where his eyes must have already focused. “It’s passed them. Has anyone ever gone that far?”

She looks to him in time to see him shake his head. “Even with the Knights of Ren, I haven’t gone that far.” He gestures to a planet on the screen, unlabeled, brow furrowed in thought. “This is where we found Sidious. It’s as far as I’ve been.”

Jeyna studies that last planet, a whitish blue dot in the darkness of the map. Their path, traced out for them, goes past it. And keeps going. The anxiety only grows, and Jeyna takes a deep breath to try to steady herself. “There’s dangers in the unknown regions, aren’t there?”

Ben’s eyes turn dark as he nods slightly. “Yes…”

She sits the datapad down, needing a break from studying the black void of uncharted space they are supposed to traverse. She can’t begin to fathom where it ends, fear of the unknown making her hands tremble. Where had Revan gone, when he’d left known space? What had he been searching for? She remembers the holorecording of him she had viewed as a child. He’d referred to some threat, greater than anything the galaxy had ever seen. What threat could be greater than a Sith Lord? Great enough to destroy the entire galaxy?

She realizes she’s shaking when Ben pulls her to him, his arms locking her into his hold. She focuses on calming her breathing, willing herself to be stronger. She’s tired of being afraid, of feeling weak. Perhaps she isn’t strong with the force like Ben, or trained to fight like a Jedi or Sith. But she finds, deep down, a strange determination. Jeyna needs to see this through, to resolve the puzzle that’s entrapped her mind since she was a small child.

The ship rocks suddenly, a violent jarring motion that threatens to toss her across the cockpit. She only stays put because of Ben’s reflexes, stabilizing her against his body.

Alarms instantly blare in the space, a control panel flashing red before the pilot’s seat. Ben releases her when the shuddering of the ship slows, throwing himself forward to examine the instrument panel. She feels his dread through their bond at the same time he swears, a low expletive that she’s never heard him utter before.

“What is it?”

“Buckle up, now,” he orders, throwing himself down in the pilot’s seat. “This is going to get rough.”

Jeyna obeys, hurrying to the navigation seat and locking the restraints over her shoulders. “What’s happening, Ben?” she asks, before being interrupted by a second jarring. The whole ship is thrown sideways, and her head throbs with the loud noise of impact. “Are we under attack?!”

“It’s the Finalizer. It’s firing on us,” Ben explains tersely. She hangs on as he throws the ship forward, as fast as the sub-lightspeed engines can manage. “Another shot like that, and our shields will go down,” he adds.

“Can we jump to hyperspace?” she asks. How has the Finalizer found them? Why are they attacking? Jeyna realizes the ship is under the control of General Hux now, without Ben to act as Supreme Leader. Could he know they are the ones piloting the Millennium Falcon? Or does he simply think it is a Resistance vessel?

“Not without getting enough of a lead on them,” Ben grits out, turning the ship in a sharp bank. “They’ve pioneered lightspeed tracking, and they’ll just follow if we are too close.”

Jeyna’s eyes widen as she sees what Ben is steering them towards. Out past the cockpit window, she can make out the approaching asteroid field. Does he mean to fly them right into it?

“The Finalizer is much larger, so it’s less maneuverable than the Falcon,” he tells her. “If I can gain distance while they try to avoid hitting the asteroids, I can jump to hyperspace once we clear the field.”

Jeyna nods, mostly to herself since Ben is too preoccupied to see. She can’t bring herself to answer him aloud, fearful as the asteroids loom ever larger ahead of their ship. She closes her eyes, silently hoping that she hasn’t overestimated his piloting skills. Their lives are depending on it. 


	40. Ch. 40

Jeyna hangs on to her restraints, fighting waves of nausea as Ben pilots them erratically. They swerve and dodge around asteroids, the engines flaring every time they hit an open space, pushing them faster.

“Have they entered the asteroid field?” Jeyna asks, craning to try to see the instrument panels.

“Yes, they’re attempting to route through to follow us,” Ben confirms. “Scans show they’re releasing TIE fighters.”

She has an idea, but isn’t sure if she should try it. But it could assist in blocking the Finalizer’s path, and shielding them from TIE fighter fire. “Would I be able to operate the laser cannon?” she asks. She saw two mounted on the ship, back when they took it from Luke.

Ben veers them at the last minute to avoid a massive rock that’s drifted into their path. “It’s basic point and shoot, so probably. Why?” he demands urgently. She’s already moving, however, unbuckling from the seat and stumbling through the cockpit door. “Jeyna!?” he shouts after her. “You won’t be able to breach the Finalizer’s shields!”

“I’m not aiming for the Finalizer!” she calls back, staggering sideways into the wall as they bank. She steadies herself before running again, reaching the ladder that descends to the weapon. She makes it halfway down before having to cling to the rails in a panic as the ship jerks sharply upwards, shaking. Then she continues, dropping down into the seat, her eyes scanning quickly to take in the view from here. She can see much more, the laser cannon protruding from the belly of the ship.

The Finalizer is intimidatingly massive compared to the Falcon, and she can see it in the distance, attempting to navigate a clear path. It is falling further back, but she can spot the swarm of TIE fighters pouring from the side of the vessel.

The smaller fighters are better equipped to dodge through the drifting hunks of rock, and look to be gaining ground. Jeyna buckles herself into the seat, taking hold of the controls in an attempt to learn them. But the whole thing seems locked into place. She feels Ben a moment before his voice fills her head.

**_Pull back on the handles._ **

She does, before panicking briefly as the whole chair swivels, unlocking and responding suddenly to her grip on the controls. She experimentally pulls left and then right, feeling a bit giddy when the massive weapon obeys her. If they weren’t in a race for their lives, it would almost be fun manning it, the seat swinging opposite of her aim. The laser comes equipped with sighting assistance, and she sets it on an asteroid retreating behind them. She fires a test shot, pleased to see it strike the rock.

**_TIE fighters won’t hold up well to impact. The more debris, the better._ **

Jeyna takes that as a green light from Ben, firing on the asteroids as they appear behind the Falcon’s path. The metallic rocks fragment into huge pieces and smaller floating boulders. Each explosion scatters the remains into widening arcs, obstructing the fighters pursuit. Her vision is lit up with the green bursts of laser fire, stomach lurching with nerves and motion sickness.

Jeyna sees the small First Order ships go wide, attempting to loop around the debris field. But it makes their paths longer, prolonging the time until they can fire on the Falcon. She’s lost sight of the Finalizer in the distance. She continues firing, attempting to estimate the fighter’s paths and block them.

She sees some of the fighters trying to come at the Falcon directly, a few colliding with massive pieces of asteroid disastrously. As Ben said, the TIEs don’t seem to hold up well to hitting the rocks. The tactic won’t work forever, though.

**_We’re almost there._ **

One of the more daring TIE pilots, that has chanced taking a path directly through the obliterated asteroids, finds more success than his peers. Red bolts of laser streak as he opens fire, the Falcon shaking under the assault. Jeyna reacts on instinct, attempting to aim for the fighter and firing back. She adjusts slightly, her eyes widening as she manages to hit the TIE. It goes careening in a side spin, as the pilot apparently loses control of his ship’s flight system.

Jeyna braces herself as the Falcon shudders. Ben pushes the sublight engines to their maximum output, and she notices there are no new asteroids drifting past her field of view. They’ve cleared the field.

A moment later, and she’s surrounded with the sickening blur of hyperspace as they jump. She unbuckles from the seat, hastily pulling herself up the ladder and away from the view that threatens the meager contents of her stomach.

Jeyna settles herself on the floor of the hallway, pushing her back up against the curving metal wall. She feels dizzy from the rocking of the laser cannon and the chaotic piloting, and takes a few minutes to regain her sense of balance.

Ben emerges from the cockpit after a little while, and she realizes that he’s still shirtless. She looks down, realizing she’s still neglected to put on pants. Something about their state of undress in such a life-threatening situation strikes her as funny, and she fights giggles.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking torn between amusement at her antics and concern.

The laughter erupts. “Yes,” she confirms once she can catch her breath. “Perhaps a little hysterical, but otherwise fine.”

“That was a smart idea you had,” he commends her. “Your shooting wasn’t too bad, either.”

She gives him a grin as her laughter finally fades. “Thank you. But the weapon system does assist.”

“Still better than most on their first attempt,” Ben replies, offering a hand to pull her up. She takes it, feeling steadier on her feet now.

“How did they find us? Do they know you’re on board?” Jeyna asks.

“I’m sure Hux suspects. The Knight’s ship, the Night Buzzard, would have scanned the Falcon’s ID when it was within range on Nathema,” Ben explains. “They likely investigated Nathema and concluded we escaped on a third ship, and were able to identify it from the records on the Buzzard.”

“Does this mean Hux is trying to kill us…again?” she presses, even as she knows the answer.

“Most likely,” Ben says, nodding. She doesn’t miss the irritation in his eyes. “Either he fired intending to kill us, or he fired intending to kill the Rebels who captured us, as well as us.”

Jeyna feels her old hatred for the man stir. Couldn’t he be content that he had been left in charge of the First Order? Why bother coming after them?

“He is trying to guarantee I don’t return to threaten his command,” Ben says in response to her thoughts. “We were probably spotted by a scout in the area.”

“Well hopefully we can evade any more scouts on our way past the Outer Rim,” Jeyna says, even though she is skeptical. Their luck has been far from good, and it sounds like too much to hope for an easy escape from the known galaxy.

“The route we’re currently on should dump us right at the beginning of the unknown regions,” Ben explains. “From there, we’ll just need to keep an eye out for gravity wells and solar storms.”

“Fantastic,” Jeyna comments wryly. He smirks at the sarcasm in her tone.

“At least you don’t have to worry about spiders in the unknown region,” Ben says, his tone turning teasing. “Surely that is a positive to our situation.”

She wets her lips, suddenly aware of the way he’s lingered close since pulling her to her feet. He gives her a small smile, and it’s infectious, her own lips quirking upwards. “I can think of a few positives to our situation,” she admits, her tone coming out far more playful than she’d meant it. She doesn’t miss the way his eyes light up in response.

**Much Later**

Ben tosses rations onto the bunk before settling down and pulling her to sit between his legs. Jeyna wrinkles her nose at the sight of the dried sustenance, wishing they’d had time to stock the ship with something better.

“You need to eat,” he chastises her gently.

“It’s awful,” she mutters. He leans down, moving her hair to kiss her neck. She closes her eyes in pleasure when he hits a tender spot, the same place he’d sunk his teeth not even an hour before as he pressed in between her thighs. They’ve had no problem passing time on the ship, though it might not have been in the most productive manner.

“It’s worse than awful,” Ben agrees quietly. He reaches past her lap to grab one of the nutrient bars, opening it to hand to her. “But you need calories.”

She sighs before resigning herself to force down the flavorless portion. When she’s done, she relaxes back against his chest. “If we survive, I’d like to stay on a planet for a while. I don’t even care which one,” Jeyna admits. “Just a place with solid ground underneath my feet and food that has a taste.”

One of his hands eases under the black material of the shirt she’s pulled on to splay against the sensitive skin of her stomach. “ _When_ we survive, I agree with that plan,” Ben corrects. Jeyna realizes his words aren’t empty. She can feel a new sensation from him, tentative as it might be. She realizes it’s hope coloring his words, resonating in his chest. She closes her eyes, enjoying the moment.

**Later**

Jeyna’s woken by an alarm going off somewhere in the cockpit. She throws the blankets off her shoulders in confusion, realizing she must have fallen asleep. Ben isn’t in the dormitory, so she dresses quickly and heads towards the sound of the noise that disturbed her. It’s silenced as she approaches.

“It was just a proximity alert,” Ben tells her from the pilot’s chair without looking back. “We’re near the coordinates from the map.”

Jeyna sits in the copilot seat to search the black of nothingness outside. It’s been nothing but dark space for more than a day and night cycle, the unknown regions seeming to be a void of anything. But now she can spot something, far off in the distance.

“Is that a star system?” she asks. Ben nods.

“We’re being directed towards one of the planets. Once we get a little closer, we can scan for signs of life and do an atmospheric analysis,” he says.

But Jeyna’s distracted, her head beginning to feel a slight pressure. Her heart beats faster in fear, remembering the last time she’d felt the sensation. The pressure grows, a throb beginning in her forehead. She tries to not flinch, not wanting to alarm Ben, but it’s useless. He must feel it through their connection, his hands falling from the controls as he turns towards her.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” he asks, voice tense. Jeyna inclines her head once, tears stinging at the pain. Ben’s in front of her in a flash, kneeling as he takes her head between his hands. She feels Ben’s presence surging in her mind, and bizarrely, it seems to help. The pressure relents slightly, and she gasps in air in relief.

The words are there, lingering on her tongue, even as her brain doesn’t have a clue what sounds she is trying to make. Ben speaks the name at the same time as she does: “Dromund Kaas.”

**Approaching the System**

The planet of Dromund Kaas looks to be a deep blue color, orbited by two moons, and Jeyna searches her mind for reference to it. Something about the name strikes her as familiar once she’s said it aloud, but she can’t place where she’s heard it before. Had she read about it, in some ancient text?

“I’ve heard it, too,” Ben says quietly, as he steers them closer to the world. “I think it was part of the ancient Sith empire.”

“That’s probably not a good sign,” Jeyna admits meekly. Is this where Revan ended up, she wonders? She can’t help but acknowledge there is something lingering in her brain since the most recent intrusion. Some foreign presence that isn’t Ben, lurking just at the edges of her mind. She can feel it in the force, even as she doesn’t know how to examine it more than that.

“There’s no signs of life according to the scanners, but there is some sort of low powered signal,” he says, squinting in confusion at the readout. “I’ll take us down there.”

As they approach more closely, she sees what looks to be remains of cities. The planet is in a state of regression, the remnants of civilization giving way to wilderness. Patches of swamp and forest seem to be reclaiming ground, growing into and pulling down the structures.

Jeyna feels the foreign presence tug on her thoughts, and she becomes physically aware of it like an extra sense. She can detect the source, somewhere before her, and growing nearer. “I can feel it. We’re almost there,” she tells Ben. She notices the way his hands tighten on the controls, tension pulling his knuckles taut.

He sets them down on the remains of an old landing pad, and they pause in the main hold to arm themselves. Ben straps on a blaster before grabbing the silver handle of the lightsaber Luke gave him. He holds a blaster out to her, and she reluctantly takes it.

They open the door, and a wave of sickeningly humid air hits them. Jeyna feels the moisture immediately cling to her skin as she follows Ben down the loading ramp, and onto the old walkway. It connects the landing pads to a central building, and as she surveys the towers rising high before her, she knows they are in the right place. She can feel whatever, or more aptly, whoever is in her brain. They are right there, a beacon calling to her.

The walkway is long, stretching across swamplands and scraggly trees. It is crumbling away in parts, and more than a few times Jeyna hears an ominous creaking noise when she steps.

“Try to walk where I walk. This isn’t the most stable,” Ben suggests. She attempts to follow his directions, placing her feet where she’s seen his land. They’re halfway to the end when Ben freezes for a moment, raising his hand as if to pause her. “Run, Jeyna,” he orders suddenly.

She obeys in confusion, taking off in a sprint to follow him as he leads them at a frantic pace. “We need to get under cover, now!” he calls urgently. She pushes her legs faster, trying to not slow him down. The walkway cracks beneath them, visible fractures forming in the material. Her eyes widen in fear.

“Why? What is it?” she gasps out.

Jeyna hears it before he can answer. A shock travels down her spine, hair standing up at the roots in fear. The angry scream of TIE fighters assaults the air. She looks up, and the sky is filling with the First Order ships. As she watches, the Finalizer appears, materializing as it enters the atmosphere like a silent omen.

She doesn’t realize her pace must have slackened until Ben grips her wrist, urging her to move faster with him. They make it to the end of the walkway, darting under the cover of the buildings that rise around them.

“How did they find us?” Jeyna asks between panting for her breath.

“I don’t know,” Ben answers, surveying their surroundings. His face is unreadable, eyes calculating, but she detects desperation coming from him.

It’s then that the oversight hits her. “My datapad,” she says in horror. “It’s linked to yours. We left it on the Finalizer.”

His eyes darken, aggression filling them. She turns from him as he paces in frustration, gaze searching as she tries to reason her way to a solution. The sound of the TIE fighters is pervasive as they swarm over the planet. They’ve likely already spotted their ship, meaning they don’t have much time. Jeyna tries to focus despite the dire circumstances.

The city is built in layers, and they appear to be on the top level. She can see downwards, where they’d be better hidden, but the feeling in the force is urging her up. Somewhere above her, is what she’s come for. But how can they continue, with the First Order here? They need to hide, or better yet, flee the planet.

As soon as she reaches that conclusion, the presence in her mind surges violently. Its will battles with her own. As much as she wants to return to the Millennium Falcon, it is fighting with her to stay. Pain blooms inside her brain, pushing against her skull in burning waves of agony.

Jeyna’s vision turns to static as she crumples to her knees, overwhelmed by whoever is arguing with her instincts. She vaguely makes out Ben as he rushes towards her, but before he can reach her, the world explodes.

The First Order has opened fire, and the crumbling city around them is blasted apart. The surface underneath Jeyna gives way, as if its support has been demolished. She screams when she feels the rumbling travel through her hands, and the giant slab of stone is splintered beneath her. Ben lunges for her, but by the time she reaches out, it is too late. She’s falling, in a shower of broken rock.


	41. Ch. 41

Jeyna comes to in pain, her whole body aching as if she’s suffered a beating. Her vision is bleary, and she attempts rolling over to see her surroundings. Her chest gives a stabbing pain with every breath she tries to draw into her lungs, and she grits her teeth, keeping each inhale small. Something sticky is trailing down her cheek, and she wipes it away only to realize it is blood.

The sound of blasters firing fills her eardrums, as her senses return more fully. She’s laying on broken pieces of stone, and she scrapes the palm of one hand against a jagged edge as she pushes to stand. It stings as blood quickly fills in the tear in her skin. She feels like there isn’t a part of her that isn’t bleeding or bruised.

Jeyna looks up, realizing she’s managed to fall through the platform they had been standing on. She’s two levels down, and she surveys the fragmented pieces that form a demented chute in horror. Had she slid down? If she had outright fallen, she should be in much worse shape.

Her eyes scan for a way back up, as her brain fixates on getting to Ben. But she can’t see him up on the top level. All she can see are the flashes of blaster fire overhead, an onslaught that brings panic as fast as she regains reason. The First Order must be loyal to Hux now, she concludes, and they are attacking Ben. She manages to hear the noise of a lightsaber, which at least reassures her that Ben is well enough to be fighting back. But how long can he last?

She realizes she’s lost her own blaster in the fall, and she can’t begin to look for it amidst the heaps of rock. She stumbles forward, nearly falling on the rubble underfoot.

“Oh, pet.”

Jeyna freezes in horror, immediately knowing that voice. She turns, a sob threatening to tear loose from her throat when she sees the squad of stormtroopers that surround Hux. He’s smiling, a sick expression of complete joy.

He strides forward, stopping near the wrecked remains she is standing on. She stares when he offers a hand, as if to help her down. After a moment, his smile grows and he drops his hand.

“You’re looking worse for wear,” he observes, raising his hand to tap at his temple. “Did you bump your head? That’s bleeding quite a bit.”

She can barely think through the haze of anger pounding in her head, while concern for Ben wraps fingers around her heart to squeeze. “You couldn’t just let us go…” she finally manages to say, hating how broken her voice sounds with defeat.

“Let you go?” Hux repeats. “And let Ren get an advantage? What has he dragged you here for, hm?”

She doesn’t reply, rage holding her tongue still. Jeyna flinches backwards as he grabs for her, towing her down roughly off the rubble. She nearly falls, stopped only by him wrenching her arm back the other way. His grip is hard on her wrist.

“What is Ren here for? Is there a weapon?” he demands.

Jeyna stares back, refusing to answer, until she watches his control shred apart in his gaze. Some distraught part of her is enjoying infuriating Hux, her hatred ruling her thoughts. It’s easier to cling onto it, than face the hopelessness.

Hux’s face twists in irritation, and he shakes her aggressively. “Answer me, girl!”

Her eyes narrow in contempt. “Go to hell,” she hisses. Hux reacts immediately, backhanding her as hard as he can across the face. Her head snaps, blood filling her mouth from where the inside of her lip collided with her teeth. She stops herself from crying out, hanging her head and taking shaking breaths as her gaze focuses on his boots. Somehow, they are still immaculately clean despite the dust and debris he is standing in.

Jeyna gathers the blood in her mouth, and spits right on the shiny surface of one of his boots. It’s enough to make the man snap, and he grabs her by the shoulders, throwing her down. She tumbles onto her rear, pain echoing throughout her body at the impact. “You disgusting wretch!” he rants, attempting to wipe it off on the ground.

She feels a hysterical urge to laugh at his response, emotions going haywire at the bleak situation she is in. He stops to survey her, seeing the mirth on her face, before forcing himself back under control. “Enough of this game,” he says quietly. He gestures towards her, and two stormtroopers approach.

Jeyna attempts to scuttle back from them, but they grab her. It’s only a moment before she’s held by one, while the other forces a blaster up under the bottom of her chin. Her head is forced upwards by the pressure, even while she glares defiantly at Hux.

**_Give him what he wants!_ **

Ben’s pleading voice breaks through the irrational emotions that have been controlling her, and she is filled with despair. Tears blur her eyes, the hopelessness now free to crash into her. How could everything go so bad, so fast? It feels like just moments ago they’d been wrapped up in each other, a heartbeat away from bliss. Now she’s facing down Hux while Ben faces down an entire army.

There is an explosion overhead, the kind that comes from heavy artillery. It’s quickly followed by more.

“I don’t want to,” she gasps out, voice trembling. Logically, she knows this isn’t going to end well. How can they stand up to the entire First Order, if Hux has convinced them to turn on their Supreme Leader? Why should she cooperate, if her fate is already sealed?

“Don’t want to help me? Too bad,” Hux snarls. “You’ll tell me what you are here for. Now!”

**_You need to buy time! I’m trying to get to you!_ **

She jerks as she hears a loud crashing noise, the planet shuddering underfoot. It sounds like a structure has collapsed somewhere. Jeyna realizes the blaster fire is more distant. Are they forcing Ben back? Is he too outnumbered? Is it only a matter of time before they kill him?

“I don’t know what I’m here for! I can only feel it!” Jeyna sobs, thoughts of Ben’s fate making the crushing feeling in her chest unbearable. It hurts worse than any of her injuries.

Hux nods at the troopers, and they release her. She stands gasping between them, barely managing to choke down hysterical tears. “You can feel it? …In the force?” Hux looks confused when she nods, before his face turns determined. “Then you can take me to it. Whatever it is, I will claim the advantage. Not Ren.”

**Minutes Later**

Jeyna’s stumbled up so many steps, she’s lost count. The stormtroopers have stayed behind, somewhere near the entrance of the building. It is only her and Hux, climbing upwards through the strange structure. It looks like some sort of prison, cells sitting empty behind rusting bars. The windows are all cracked and filthy, letting in streaks of low light to guide their ascent. She hasn’t examined the place more than that, focusing on climbing and the growing presence in her head.

She slows down, her body exhausted from pain, until Hux jabs the end of a blaster into her back. She picks her pace back up, following the beacon that’s glaring in the force. It’s stronger the closer she gets, calling out to her. Whoever is in her mind is urging her onwards, at the same time she feels an odd repulsion. She realizes that she can feel strong emotions through the force, and they don’t belong to her or Ben.

It’s a mismatched combination of relief and reluctance, warped with fear. Why reluctance? And why does she so suddenly feel like something is pushing her backwards? Jeyna tries to steady her shaking hands, not used to being able to feel so strongly through the force unless Ben is helping her.

Is the person in her mind expanding her awareness, the way Ben can? Or is this all her doing? Her chest constricts at the thought of Ben, before she tries to tell herself he must be okay. Surely she’d feel it, if he weren’t?

Jeyna reaches the end of the stairs, and hesitantly steps into the room located at the very top of the building. Her feet come to a standstill inside the door, as she examines the space. This is also a prison, she realizes. But the cell here is not made of bars and chains.

In the center of the circular room is a stasis chamber. There is a figure hovering in it, dark robes cascading to eerily float in the fluid. Though she can’t see a face, as the man is turned away from the doorway, she already knows in the pit of her stomach who he is.

“What is this?” Hux snaps, sounding confused. “A person? You’ve led me up here for a person?”

“It’s Revan,” Jeyna says, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I told myself it was impossible, but…” She moves, circling the stasis chamber to see him. Her jaw drops open as she catches sight of the recognizable features. She’s memorized them since she saw the holocron of him as a child, she’d know his face anywhere. Dark hair, a thin scar pulling from the corner of his eye to his lips, a handsome face. She knows if those eyes were to open, they would look right into her soul.

“Revan?” Hux repeats in disbelief. “The Sith Lord?”

“He wasn’t just a Sith Lord,” Jeyna corrects him, voice weak with shock. Hux’s commlink goes off, and he winces while listening to whatever is being transmitted through it. She’s just staring, in awe at the man floating unconscious before her. Her life’s studies culminating in this discovery feels overwhelming.

“Regardless of title, he is coming with me,” Hux declares when the static of his communication device fades. He joins her, surveying the chamber. “Is this kolto? How primitive.”

Jeyna recognizes the computer terminal, it looks similar to the one from Kashyyyk. Her eyes widen when Hux raises his weapon, as if to fire on the computer with impatience. “Don’t! If it’s some sort of cryo system, you could kill him!” Jeyna protests.

The redheaded man gives her a scathing glare before lowering his blaster. “Then release him. Now.”

Jeyna obeys, if only to stop Hux from accidentally killing the man whose somehow managed to stay alive for an eternity. She boots up the computer, holding her eyes open as the retinal scanner roves her gaze with a beam of light.

“Neural pattern accepted. Provide a sequence,” the computer announces. The needle that unfurls from its structure is identical to the one she’d had to deal with on Kashyyyk.

“Hurry up!” Hux demands, tone rising in pitch with his frustration.

Jeyna jabs her finger onto the needle, even as her mind is racing. Is Hux so impatient because Ben is gaining ground? Are the stormtroopers not able to handle him much longer? A dangerous thread of hope wiggles through her heart at the thought.

She’s distracted when the entire chamber unlocks, tilting backwards and lowering. The mechanics grind and catch, the whole process jerky with age. Jeyna can’t help but wonder if Revan will even wake up. Has any human being ever been stored in stasis for this long? Why had he locked himself up in such a manner?

The tank hits the ground, and she staggers backwards as the front half of the transparisteel slides back. It releases a flood of sticky liquid that washes over the floor, and she realizes it is indeed kolto that had been used. The temperature in the room plummets as the cold seeps from the tank. She bites her lip in concern over the sight of Revan, laying crumpled and unmoving in the curve at the bottom.

“Well, I suppose I won’t be needing you now,” Hux says.

Jeyna whirls, turning her back on Revan to face the general. She steps backwards as fast as he advances, a wicked smile taking over his pale face. “I would reassure you that it isn’t personal,” he seethes. “But I’m going to enjoy killing Ren’s whore. If he survives the elite guard, I’ll leave your body here for him to find.”

Jeyna edges around the tank, retreating until her back collides with the wall. Hux’s eyes are calm with their murderous intent, and somehow that is even worse than if he’d been raging. Her body trembles, as she remembers the vision she’d experienced in Freedon Nadd’s tomb.

 _When there is nothing more he needs of you, I’ll be there. I’ll be the only one there, you pathetic orphan. I’ll end it._ The vision of Hux had said that, and as she stares down the end of the real Hux’s blaster, she wonders…had everything the ghost shown her been based in truth?

Had the power she felt been real, as well? Had it come from her, and not the spirit of Freedon Nadd?

Jeyna remembers the force that had surged in her veins like a drug, and it returns to her with the memory. Her mouth falls open at the strength of it, building like a current throbbing throughout her body.

“Nothing to say, pet?” Hux taunts.

The force builds until she doesn’t know how to handle it, the energy threatening to rip itself lose from her skin. She sees his finger tightening on the trigger of the blaster, at the same moment she cannot contain the power anymore. Jeyna screams, the feral noise releasing some of the anger and despair that’s been built up inside of her. She pushes out with the force, sending a shockwave through the intangible web. It is focused on Hux, the center of her hatred.

He is thrown backwards, his body striking the wall across the room with a loud crack. The young general falls to the ground, his blaster clattering beside him.

Jeyna collapses as the power withdraws, pulling from her veins and leaving her shaking. It has somehow sapped her energy, leaving her fatigued.

She’s breathing heavily, clinging onto consciousness, when Revan rises.


	42. Ch. 42

Jeyna watches as Revan stands, shoulders straightening beneath damp, black robes. He’s tall, and as he turns towards her, her body tenses with fear. His face looks haunted, dark, piercing eyes sunken in exhaustion.

But it isn’t his drained state, nor his accusing stare that makes her muscles lock up in panic. It’s the conflicted feeling of him in the force, a roiling turbulence in his energy. Jeyna can’t understand the sensations pouring off of Revan. Victory clashing with despair, excitement tempered by dread. The battle within him is loud, she couldn’t block it out if she tried. There is something wrong, but she doesn’t understand.

“Finally,” he says, voice rough with disuse. He looks down at his hands, studying them as he flexes his fingers. When he looks back at her, his face is cold. “I was worrying you’d never come.”

“Why me?” Jeyna blurts out, her confusion and need for answers winning over the intuitive fear. She tries to ignore the way her body urges her to run from Revan. “Why did you lock the holocrons, why did it have to be me to find you?”

“Questions, questions,” he says mockingly, taking a testing step from the stasis chamber. When his legs don’t fail to support him, he steps again, closing the distance between them. “So full of questions. I didn’t lock the holocrons. Bastila did. Bastila’s blood locked me into stasis, so only Bastila’s blood would release me.”

Jeyna’s mind is racing, feeling as though there is a part to the mystery she has failed to analyze. Some glaring piece of the puzzle has been missing, and she’s been too blind to notice it. Her heart beats faster as Revan gets close, his face tilting down to survey her.

“Why did she make it so hard to reach the holocrons?” Jeyna whispers aloud, but she might as well be asking herself. She reviews the information, as a chilling conclusion starts to form in her brain.

Bastila Shan had purposely set the star map to destruct on Kashyyyk, nearly killing whoever would be retrieving it. She’d ensured the one on Dxun was located next to a powerful force ghost, one who would try to kill anyone who woke it… Why make the pursuit of the star map to Revan so dangerous? Why would Bastila risk killing her own descendants, should they try to follow the trail? Unless…

Had the difficulties they’d faced, in tracking down the pieces of the star map, been intended to deter them? Had Jeyna been so blinded by her bias of Revan, that she’d missed the warnings?

“She intended for me to never be freed,” Revan says quietly, confirming her horrified thoughts. Her body turns cold at the way he’s watching her, a strange amusement filling his gaze. “Meetra and Bastila intended to leave me, confined in this deserted prison, forever.”

“But why?” Jeyna gasps, guilt consuming her as she realizes she has messed up. She’s made a terrible mistake, even as she fails to understand the extent of it. Why would Revan’s own wife, and his former ally from the wars, turn on him?

Revan smiles down at her, a small, humorless expression. “Let me show you what will become of the galaxy, in a way that you can understand.”

His words trigger her memory of the dream, the one he had planted in her brain as she lay in a coma. The energy being siphoned from the web of life, the devastating power of the ritual of Nathema. Was his prophesy, his begging her to find him to stop the end of the galaxy, all a trap? In releasing him, had she really just ensured its destruction?

Jeyna’s panicked thoughts are stopped, as Revan holds out a hand, his fingers curling. She’s jerked upwards and forward, the force pulling her roughly into his grasp. He grips her neck, half marching and half dragging her across the room to a dusty window.

“Look,” he commands. When Jeyna only digs her fingers into the damp material of his sleeve in response, he growls. “ _Look._ ” He shakes her, his grip tightening to the point of choking her for one terrifying moment.

She complies, raising her eyes to look out of the tower they stand in. She can see it, out past the buildings around them. The Finalizer is hovering above the planet of Dromund Kaas, motionless in the sky.

Revan pulls her back, against his body, and she cringes in repulsion. His arm wraps around her, holding her still, even as his other hand refuses to relent his hold of her neck. “Can you feel them?” he asks, whispering close behind her. She tries to pull away, but he is too strong. “Reach out, in the force. I know you are weak, but your grasp of it has grown.”

Jeyna tries to fight back as he invades her thoughts, but it is futile. She can feel what he’s referring to, as he forces the awareness into her brain. She senses the First Order personnel, thousands and thousands of them, aboard the Finalizer. Each one like a distant light, a knot in the web, clustered together up above the planet.

“It’s been too long,” Revan breathes into her ear. “I am weak. I’ll need energy for the transfer.”

She drags a breath in, her body shuddering in fear. What transfer is he talking about? Before she can dare to ask, she feels a darkness building. Jeyna recognizes it instantly, hears the sounds that had filled the small holocron as the terrible force grows. He’s using the ritual of Nathema.

She digs her fingers into his arms, attempting to claw free from him, before resorting to pounding her fists against him. It is a worthless gesture, as Revan behaves as though he doesn’t feel her frantic assault. She falls limp when it happens, the ritual surging to the point of action. Her mind is still tied to those small beacons of the force, representing the crew that fills the Finalizer.

They are extinguished, each and every one of them, drained of the force in a fraction of a second. She tries to cry out, but the breath has left her lungs. The feeling of him draining the life from the ship is too overwhelming. Though the Finalizer still sits there, visible above them, she knows it is empty. He’s massacred the entire living contents of the First Order ship, tens of thousands of souls, and he’s forced her to feel it happen.

Her mind is in shock, she barely feels the way his body stiffens behind her. It’s only when she feels the power within him surge that she jerks, struggling once more.

“Don’t fight it,” Revan orders, and his voice suggests he is enjoying her struggle. He turns her around, flinging her back against the wall before he crushes her against it, his forearm pressing on her throat. “I need a new vessel. We have raged against each other for long enough, and I tire of sharing this body. Yours will do.”

Jeyna flails, adrenaline pumping through her body in the fight for survival. She manages to break a hand loose and strikes out, her fist colliding with his face. He merely laughs at the attempt, and she is crushed backwards with the force. He pins her to the wall with his power, her chest barely able to expand against the strength of it to breathe.

Revan invades her mind, forces himself into her existence as though he’s shredding her soul apart to make room for his own. The pain is so intense that she loses sight of him, loses sight of the room. Her screams come out like broken shrieks, her body still too compressed under the pressure of his force hold. His energy is nothing but a dark void, cold and ruthless, ripping through her with agonizing brutality.

In the moment when Jeyna feels like she is going to blink into nonexistence, she feels him.

Ben’s presence surges in her mind, his energy pulling her back together. It buffers her from the pain, and she clings onto him, their bond soothing the damage Revan’s inflicted. She reaches for Ben, and it only seems to reinforce his power. The force rises strongly in her, Ben’s hold pulling her own with it though the entangled link they share.

The darkness is pushed back, the pain retreating with it. Revan drops his hold of her, and she crumples to the floor as he relents. The last trace of his invasion vanishes from her mind, his energy abandoning her. Jeyna clings onto the connection with Ben, feels his presence close, and growing nearer.

She tells herself she just needs to hang on, even as Revan retreats. His face looks furious. “What was that trick?” he demands. “Who was that?”

“He’s stronger than you,” she realizes. “He’s stronger than whatever you are…” Though her voice is shaking and frail, she knows she is right on both counts. Not only is Ben stronger, to be able to push him from her mind, but whoever she’s been speaking to is not Revan. What he’s said, and the conflicted feelings battling within him, have made it clear. Something has possessed the former Jedi Knight. And it just tried to take her over instead.

Jeyna sees the flash of fear cross Revan’s features, before it vanishes. “An unforeseen complication,” he admits. His head snaps to the side, landing on the unconscious Hux, still laying on the floor. “I suppose that will have to do.”

He crosses the room, and Jeyna watches as Hux is pulled up, like invisible strings have connected to his body. He’s hoisted into the air, his arms and legs hanging limp, boots hovering inches off the ground. His head is lolled to the side, as the redhead remains knocked out.

“Who are you!?” she asks impulsively. She knows she can’t fight him, her body weakened to near the breaking point, her grasp of the force too new. But Ben can. And so she tries to stall him, to drag it out until Ben can arrive. She reaches out, and realizes he’s much closer. Relief fills her as she suspects he is in the building.

Revan freezes, glancing at her briefly. “I’ve had many names,” he admits. He grabs Hux’s face between his fingers and examines the unconscious man’s features. “Valkorian…Tenebrae…Vitiate…”

She doesn’t recognize any of the names he lists, her confusion only growing with her fear. This must be the threat Revan had been referring to, in the holorecording she’d witnessed as a child. Do these names describe a terror that had been lurking, outside of known space? Had Revan fallen victim to it, even as he sought to destroy it?

Revan cocks his head, pulling Hux closer to his face. “I suppose this skin suit has a name. That will soon be mine, as well…”

Her mouth drops open in horror when she feels the dark, boiling energy begin to build again. She can sense it more clearly, now that it isn’t directed at her. Hux’s body spasms, his limbs jerking as if he is being electrocuted. Whether he has been woken up by the pain, or it is a reflexive response to the assault, she doesn’t know.

Pained noises escape the general’s throat, and her face crumples in disgust. She can’t help the sympathy she feels for Hux in the moment, even as she hates him. She remembers the agony too distinctly to not feel bad. Even despising him, she wouldn’t wish that degree of suffering on anyone.

Jeyna can’t watch, flinching as Hux appears to be seizing, his whole body convulsing. She drops her eyes, tears escaping her lashes, guilt filling her once more. She’s released this horror onto the galaxy, this is her fault. The guilt only compounds her exhaustion and the pain of her many injuries.

She jerks her eyes back to the pair of men when she hears the thump of a body collapsing. Jeyna is surprised to see it is Revan laying now, near unconsciousness on the floor. The energy coming from him is weak, she can barely detect him in the force. His body looks devoid of life, limbs splayed, but his eyes are open. Her breath catches when his dark gaze locks on her, his eyes boring into hers from across the room.

Ben barrels through the doorway, sliding to a stop at the sight of Hux standing over Revan. The general is staring down at his hands, flexing them as if testing their responsiveness. Jeyna sees confusion fleet across Ben’s face momentarily before he looks like he understands. His expression is one of barely contained rage, eyes narrowing as he sizes up the situation.

Her mouth falls open as she takes in his injuries. Ben’s face is bruised and bleeding in more than one place. His clothing is slashed and singed, his hair damp with sweat. As exhausted and beaten as he looks, she can feel his resolve. As he focuses on Hux, Ben steadies himself. His power is tangible, filling the room with a crackling aggression.

Hux, or rather the being possessing him, seems to get his bearings. He straightens fully, turning to notice Ben. His features darken in malice. “So, you’re the one I felt in her mind. Who are you?” Hux asks, before furrowing his brow as if trying to remember. “Kylo Ren? Is that right?”

Jeyna’s eyes flit to the lightsaber in Ben’s hand, as he ignites it. A blue beam erupts from the handle, and Ben lifts it in a fighting stance. “Ben Solo,” he corrects, voice threateningly low.

Hux’s face twists into a snarl. “This isn’t over,” he promises. Jeyna gasps as the blast of force lightning erupts from Hux, arcing towards Ben. The lightsaber seems to catch the brunt of the attack, and Ben pushes back with the force. The electrical storm is sent surging backwards, striking Hux and flinging him through the air.

His body strikes the window, shattering it upon impact. There is nothing to stop Hux from plummeting out of the opening. Jeyna shoves herself upwards, stumbling on weak muscles across the room as quickly as she can. She joins Ben at the opening, a muggy breeze hitting their faces as they both look down. There is no sight of Hux on the ground below the prison tower. He has disappeared.


	43. Ch. 43

**Leaving Dromund Kaas**

They descend the steps slowly, half dragging Revan with them as they leave the stasis chamber behind. Though Revan’s eyes are open, he’s barely responsive. Jeyna tries to help him along, but Ben ends up supporting most of his weight as her own steps are faltering.

When they reach the bottom of the building, Ben’s voice is tense. “This isn’t good. He’s in bad shape,” he says lowly.

Jeyna grimaces, wondering if he can tell more than her through the force. “Is there somewhere we can take him to get help?”

She doesn’t miss the reluctance in his response. “The Rebels will have medical teams at their major bases. We can try reaching them on comms, but I don’t know if they’ll give me the location of the nearest base. They probably won’t trust me.”

“What if we can reach Leia?”

“We can try,” he agrees quietly. Jeyna is distracted as they leave the building, her eyes caught by the sight of fallen stormtroopers. They litter the walkway in front of the building, their armor showing signs of lightsaber damage. Some wear red armor instead of the usual white, but all are laying unmoving.

She stumbles at the sheer number of fallen, her eyes widening. None had given up, it looks as though he’d had to fight through them all. She cringes at the sight of their injuries, revulsion rising in her stomach.

“Try not to look,” Ben orders. She attempts to listen to him, focusing her eyes on the path ahead as they head back to the ship. The planet is in worse shape than when they’d landed, craters from the bombardment marking the ground. Entire buildings have collapsed around them, leaving a thick layer of dust to hover in the humid air. They have to maneuver Revan around the rubble, and all the while he is silent, dark eyes unblinking. It’s beginning to unnerve Jeyna.

They’re almost back to the ship when she spots it: a First Order shuttle lifting off in the distance, and beginning its journey towards the Finalizer.

Ben’s pace picks up immediately. “If that’s Hux, there’s nothing to stop him from blasting this city apart until we’re dead. We need to take off before he gets back to the Finalizer.”

Jeyna ignores the discomfort in her body, forcing herself to double her pace. Their ship, fortunately, looks undamaged.

**Millennium Falcon, in Hyperspace**

They make multiple jumps through hyperspace, due to Ben’s paranoia about the Finalizer’s tracking capabilities. Jeyna’s relatively sure they haven’t been tracked, given that any crew responsible for operating the tracking device would have been slaughtered with the rest. Regardless, they are going to need to refuel, wherever they end up landing.

She watches as Ben sends out the call signals on the comms relay, trying to reach the Resistance. Surely Leia would help them, if she got the message?

Jeyna drifts away from the comms room, headed back to the medbay. Revan had collapsed on the table there, and as she enters the room, she sees he hasn’t moved. He looks unconscious, his head rocked to the side. She approaches him slowly, unable to help her curiosity.

His hair is longer than it had been in the holorecording she’d seen, his face covered in the scruff of his facial hair. He’s wearing some sort of light armor under the robes, and her eyes scan it before landing on the belt that criss-crosses his abdomen. He carries not one, but two lightsabers. She finds herself reaching for them, even as she knows she wouldn’t dare to try to take them.

Jeyna flinches, a surprised noise escaping her, when Revan catches her hand in his. She jerks her eyes from the lightsabers to his face, and his dark gaze pierces her. His grip on her hand tightens.

“You don’t look like her,” he rasps.

Jeyna pulls on her hand, but he refuses to release her. “I knew you wouldn’t… It’s been too long, the relation too distant…But I had foolishly dreamed you might,” Revan whispers.

“I’m sorry,” Jeyna answers uncertainly. She has so much she wants to ask him, but finds herself oddly silenced by his eyes, still focused so intently on hers.

“No. I am sorry,” he corrects her. “I was weak.” She can hear the way his breath catches on every inhale. He is struggling to force the air into his lungs, and she grows more concerned.

Revan’s eyes mercifully leave hers, and she finally feels like she can think again. They dart around the small medbay, landing on the remains of HK-47. His face crumples in dismay when he sees the state of his former assassin droid.

“What did you do to my droid?” he asks, weak voice managing to sound accusatory.

She opens her mouth to reply, to apologize a second time, when she feels the pulse of the force beat through their joined hands. Revan’s hand is flung backwards, away from her fingertips. She turns in surprise, noticing Ben has joined them in the doorway. His face is darkened with suspicion.

When Jeyna looks back at Revan, he is once again unconscious. “Did you just knock him back out?” she asks, confused.

“I don’t want you alone with him,” Ben says possessively, approaching the medical table. She watches as he pulls open drawers, removing equipment. “I don’t trust him.”

“You know it wasn’t him, that hurt me? It was whoever is in Hux now,” she explains quietly.

“I understand. But either he let them trick you, to lure you there. Or he did it himself, to escape stasis. Either way, he didn’t care what happened to you,” Ben says. She watches as he sets up a kit on a makeshift stand, infusing the bag of intravenous fluids with a bacta solution. She realizes Ben is right, Revan’s own apology seeming to confirm what Ben has said.

“What are you doing? Do you know how to do an IV?” Jeyna asks finally, attempting to break the tension that has filled the small space.

He nods, looking agitated. “I know enough to hopefully keep him alive until we reach D’Qar.”

“D’Qar?”

“I reached her on comms. The Rebels abandoned Endor for now. There were too many uneasy with me knowing the location. I’m sure they’ll be overjoyed when we show up at their base on D’Qar,” Ben grinds out, his jaw clenched. Jeyna watches him work, and recognizes one of the syringes he’s handling.

“You’re sedating him?”

“To conserve energy. I think his organ systems might be shutting down, after being in stasis for that long,” Ben explains. Jeyna falls silent, hoping what he’s doing is enough to help Revan. She had no idea Ben had medical training, and wonders where he learned it. He seems to be finishing up, cleaning up the supplies. Jeyna watches the drip of the IV flowing into Revan’s vein.

“Do the names Valkorian or Vitiate mean anything to you?” she asks. He shakes his head. “We’re going to need to talk to him again, once the sedatives wear off. We have no idea what we are facing,” she muses.

Ben’s eyes are focused on the unconscious Revan when he answers. “There were rumors.”

“What kind of rumors?” Jeyna presses.

“Of an eternal Sith empire. One hidden past the edges of the galaxy,” he continues, before his eyes rise to meet hers. “One that was only waiting for a leader.”

“Was that supposed to be you?”

His lack of response is all the confirmation she needs. A tense silence falls between them before Ben breaks it, pulling a clean syringe from the drawer along with a bottle of bacta solution. “Your turn,” he says quietly.

“I’m fine,” Jeyna lies immediately. Ben only raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Really, I’ll be fine.”

“You’re in pain,” he says. “Even with the force, I can’t fix it all myself.”

“It’s not that bad,” she replies, feeling stubborn. She doesn’t know why she bothers to argue. He can probably feel it, just as much as she can. The sensation of a small knife jabbing her side with each breath, the dull ache in her skull. The bruises that litter her body from her fall.

“I didn’t react in time to catch you,” Ben admits. “I panicked.”

Jeyna watches him gather the still-capped syringe and bacta in one hand, before he approaches, holding his other hand out to her. She takes it, following when he leads her from the medbay, letting her hand relax in his warm grip.

Ben takes her to the refresher, sitting the supplies down on the small metal shelf before turning to fix her with a determined look. She freezes at the heat in his gaze, her body reacting with goosebumps as he steps close. She can feel his intent, pulling at her through the force. “Don’t you want me to help you feel better?” Ben asks.

Her body reacts to the low voice he’s used, an intentionally seductive tone. “Are you trying to seduce me into medical treatment?” she asks in disbelief.

The corners of his lips quirk in the smallest of smiles. “Is it working?”

“Yes,” Jeyna admits. His smile grows, only to fall a moment later when he pushes the hair back from her face. His eyes darken with anger as he takes in the bruise on her cheek, from Hux, and the hand shaped contusion on her neck, from Revan. She wets her lips nervously as Ben leans down, his face tantalizingly close to hers. His hand covers her neck gently, laying over the bruise there.

Jeyna gasps as warmth floods her skin, and soaks deeper. Her eyes fall closed, all of her attention drawn to the sensation rising into her cheek, soothing the pain there as well. Ben’s lips press to hers, softly, for just a moment. When he pulls back, the sting has vanished from her bottom lip. She runs her tongue over the spot that had been cut, and detects nothing but smooth skin.

Jeyna opens her eyes and finds him searching her face intently. “Do you want more?” he asks quietly. Her eyes fall to his lips, and she nods. “Then be good, and get undressed.”

She complies, kicking her shoes and pants off as Ben turns the shower on. The small room warms quickly. She watches him fill the syringe, as she raises her arms to pull her shirt off. Jeyna winces as a sharp pain radiates through her chest at the motion, pausing momentarily before jerking the rest of the material overhead. She lets the clothing fall before gingerly lowering her arms again.

“I think you’ve got a broken rib,” Ben says. She looks away from the needle in his hand.

“Let me guess. That needs to go close to the injury,” Jeyna sighs. He nods. “Fine.”

She looks at the shower past his shoulder, not wanting to see the needle approach the tender skin that covers her badly bruised ribcage. But she relaxes when she feels the warmth of his healing spread through the area, a moment before the sting of the needle biting her skin. The sensations blur together bizarrely, and she holds her breath until the sharp metal withdraws from the muscle.

He tosses the syringe into the sink, before cupping her face with his palm, rewarding her with a kiss. When he withdraws, she searches the injuries to his face. He’s just as bruised and scraped as she is.

“I can’t heal you,” she remarks sadly. “I don’t know how.”

“I’ll heal on my own,” Ben assures her, pulling back to pull the badly damaged shirt over his head. Her eyes rove the expanse of his chest, teased even further when he begins undoing his pants. Jeyna forces herself to look away, stepping into the shower instead. The warm water feels amazing, and she focuses on rinsing the blood from her cut palm.

When Ben joins her under the water, her control shatters. The sensation of his wet skin against hers, the sight of the water running down his bare body, is too much. She holds onto him, stretching up to capture his mouth. She plays with his soaked hair, ignoring the pain in her side to run her fingers through it. It isn’t long before he takes control of the kiss, and it becomes heated. His hands caress her body, the tender bruises fading away under his touch.

She’s vaguely aware of the warmth in her palm, the jagged slice in her skin knitting itself almost completely back together. Between his kiss and the hot water, and the leftover buzz of adrenaline, Jeyna finds herself getting carried away. She searches his body, running fingertips over the broadness of his chest and the swell of his biceps. But when she shifts, the now dulled pain in her ribs flares stronger once more. Ben pulls back immediately.

“We can’t,” he breathes. “You need to heal.”

Jeyna sighs, letting her head fall back under the stream of water. It soaks her hair, stinging slightly where she bumped her head. “I wish I could use the force like you can,” she admits after a long minute.

“You did use it,” Ben says. “I felt it, when I was fighting. You lashed out.”

“I…I don’t know how,” Jeyna replies. She watches as he pours shampoo into his palm, gesturing for her to turn around. She complies, tilting her head obediently when she realizes he’s going to lather her hair for her. Her heart beats faster, somehow made nervous by the intimate gesture.

“It’s a start. Maybe with training, you could do more,” Ben says quietly. His fingers work her scalp, grazing carefully over the spot that is tender.

“I don’t know. I think it only happened because I was angry,” she says, distracted.

“Emotions can strengthen your connection to the force. When I was younger, that’s the only way I could access it,” Ben says. “It was only with training that I began to willfully control it. Turn.”

She obeys, turning to tilt her head back under the water to rinse the suds from her hair. “But I’ll never be as strong as you.”

“You were strong enough to use it to survive,” he argues. “That’s all that matters.”

As they finish washing, she can’t help but wonder. Would she have ever been able to use the force, if she didn’t feel it so strongly through their connection? What did it mean, that she had only been able to access it through anger?

Ben turns the water off, and they step out of the shower, wrapping themselves in towels. His hair is dripping into his face, and Jeyna can’t stop herself from rising up on her tiptoes to kiss the water droplets off his jawline. He laughs softly, turning his face to catch her mouth instead.

His tongue teases her lips apart to taste hers, and she moans desperately against his lips. The desire between them rises, her body growing aroused as she remembers how they feel together, wanting it again. She lets her towel drop, pressing her bare chest to his damp skin. Her hands fall to grab the towel he’s wrapped about his waist, thumbs sinking down alongside his hips.

Ben pulls from her lips with a quiet groan. “We need to be careful-your injury-”

“Then we’ll be careful,” she breathes, attempting to pull him back towards the dormitory. He complies for a moment before they are both stopped by the sound of the comms going off in the front of the ship.


	44. Ch. 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Smut ahead

Ben listens to the sound before he appears to dismiss it. Resuming kissing her, he pulls her closer. She notices he avoids her ribs, hands settling gently on her hips instead. Jeyna is able to ignore the interruption, focused entirely on Ben and the force. She evaluates him through it, and can sense his emotions slipping into primal desires the deeper the kiss becomes.

Her body reminds her how he feels all too well. Phantom sensations echo everywhere he’s touched before, her heart beat racing in anticipation. He chases her memories, guided by the desires she hasn’t even spoken aloud. His fingers trail every sensitive place, shooting shivers up and down her spine until he finally reaches her breasts. His thumbs roll over her nipples, so teasingly, that she’s left to moan in frustration.

Ben laughs slightly, moving to sit on one of the bunks. He guides her down to straddle one of his legs. “What do you want?” he murmurs. “Show me.”

She can’t focus, her mind flashing between his hands gripping her skin, her mouth on his body, his teeth at her pulse point. There is so much she wants, she doubts she’ll ever be able to get enough from him. She doesn’t even try to answer, only breathing shakily in response, searching his eyes longingly. 

Jeyna holds onto his shoulders, trembling as he presses closer to kiss her throat. She tilts her chin up, gasping when he captures her skin between his lips, sucking firmly. Her hips jerk, rubbing against the muscle of his bare thigh.

Jeyna’s attention is scattered between sensations, his touches only making her needier. She reaches down, flinging away the towel that’s stubbornly clung to his waist. She finds him already aroused, rock hard against her hand. She wraps her fingers around him, stroking, and a growl reverberates in his chest. He abandons her neck, his mouth locking onto hers possessively. She rises up off his knee to meet him in the kiss.

Ben’s teeth graze her bottom lip before he breaks apart to growl at her. “Say you’re mine.”

His words trigger a wave of pleasure, deep in her belly. “I’m yours,” she breathes. She knows it with absolute certainty. She’s never belonged to anyone else the way she does to him.

Jeyna shivers when his thumb strokes her inner thigh, picturing how she wants to be touched. Distantly, she hears the comms system go off again. She wonders if they should answer the call, if the message is too important to wait. “Should we…should we go-”

Her thoughts are cut off when his hand rises, stroking the slick arousal between her legs just as she’d imagined he would moments before. She freezes, eyes closing for a moment as he slides two fingers into her slowly, his thumb circling her clit. Whatever she’d been about to ask tumbles from her brain, as Ben lets the fantasies he’s found in her mind guide his actions.

Her hips rock in time with the motions of his fingers inside her, the pad of his thumb rubbing with just the right amount of pressure to pull whimpers from her throat. Her hand’s motion on his length loses some rhythm as she is distracted, remembering how it feels when he thrusts into her. She imagines sliding down onto him, her face buried against his warm skin, his arms wrapped around her.

She can feel Ben in her thoughts, watching everything her mind has to offer. His breath catches at the same time she cries out at his fingers curling inside her, pleasure rising erratically. “I couldn’t stay out of your head on Dxun,” he admits, voice nearly raw. “It was torture at night… laying there watching everything you’d imagine, trying to stop myself…”

“Don’t stop yourself with me ever again,” she whispers in a daze. Jeyna leans forward, kissing his shoulder, his collarbone, anything she can reach. She bites one of his freckles, sucking on the skin of his throat to taste him. He swears softly, his hips jerking sharply underneath her.

“Come here,” Ben breaths, barely audible. The pleasure is building in her core like a wave being held back from crashing. She’s just hanging on, her muscles clenching weakly onto his fingers as the edge looms nearer.

He pulls her to his mouth, before tangling his free hand in her damp locks. The kiss is sweet, but it’s enough to draw her attention to his emotions. The moment she accesses them, they wash over her. Ben’s feelings are intense, he holds nothing back. The love he’s feeling this time is far from pure, tinged by something bizarrely like jealousy towards the man lying unconscious in the medbay. Protectiveness. Possessiveness. It’s an inferno, radiating through her limbs, heating her skin.

“I’m yours,” Jeyna gasps quietly, on instinct. The pleasure surges in him at her words, touching some base need of his to claim her. It sends her tipping over the edge of release. Lights spark behind her eyelids as the wave finally crashes, bliss washing through her body.

Ben’s hand stays tangled in her hair, holding her close as she rides out the peak of ecstasy. She rocks her hips down onto his hand, his thumb continuing its motion until her desperate cries fade. She’s left breathing heavily as her orgasm recedes, opening her eyes to find his lustful gaze.

Jeyna strokes his cheek gently, guiding her fingertips down to his jawline. She hesitates only a moment before tracing the pale skin of his neck, down his chest. Her hand is paused over his heart when he catches it, holding it steady there.

She searches his eyes, finding so much comfort there. Where once she’d been unnerved by his gaze, finding it so raw and direct, now she never wants to look away. Her brain finally tries to function, feebly kicking back into gear. If he was claiming her as his own, did that mean she could say the same? Was he hers?

“Yes,” Ben murmurs. “Only yours.” He adjusts her leg, pulling her to straddle his lap fully, but still his eyes stay locked on hers.

She lets herself slide down slowly, reaching down to position him against her entrance. At the contact, he groans slightly, and kisses her. She sighs in content, his lips full and soft against hers. His hands urge her down, and she gasps as the head of his cock pushes into her. She lowers down more, feeling him press deeper.

“You’re so good,” Ben breathes, and his eyes stutter closed. His lips are parted, his lower lip shaking with each breath.

Jeyna sinks the rest of the way down on him, her mouth falling open when she is full, stretched by his width. His fingertips dig into her hips as she moves in a slow, smooth rocking as her body adjusts. She leans forward, burying her face into the crook of his neck. His hair is still the slightest bit damp, but soft against her skin. She fights to steady her breathing, tension building once more in her core as she rides him.

Jeyna feels it when Ben strengthens their bond again, his mind flooding hers with his pleasure. Her pace picks up automatically when she feels it, when the echoes of praise from him fill her mind. She whimpers at the feeling of him hitting deep, jerking her hips frantically as she wants more.

She breathes out in a rush when Ben rolls her carefully, settling her onto the bunk on her back. He shifts her legs before taking over, his hips snapping into her more forcefully than she’d been able to manage on top. He finds that perfect spot quickly.

She fights the urge to let her eyes close, even as his thrusts pull small gasps from her open mouth. She focuses on his gaze, on his presence in her mind, tears threatening at the intensity of what she’s feeling. She knows her expression is pleading, her eyes begging him for more. He descends on her without warning, stealing a forceful kiss from her. As his tongue invades her mouth, she hears his voice in her thoughts: **_I love seeing you like this. So beautiful._**

He bites her lip to tug at it, and she moans for him, past any form of restraint. Jeyna’s head rocks back from his mouth as something warm spreads through her skin, sensations drifting and teasing her overly sensitive flesh. His power surrounds her, holding her captive even as her muscles want to shake. Ben’s hands grab hers, forcing them down into the sheets of the bed, his hips rolling into hers in a rythmn she’s quickly lost to.

**_…Mine…_ **

His energy builds her up, up, up.. Until she comes undone with a scream, his climax and hers entangling until they are indistinguishable. She can’t separate what he’s feeling from what she is, the input overwhelming her mind. She clenches his hands, trying desperately to catch a breath through the waves of release pulsing through them both.

She’s trembling as it subsides, dizzy with the rush of hormones assaulting her bloodstream. Ben pulls back from her mind enough that she can separate out which sensations are coming from her own quaking body, her chest heaving with exertion.

He rolls off of her before letting himself fall, his face turning to the side to survey her. “Your side…I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Jeyna shakes her head. She can’t even feel it at the moment, whether from the rush of chemicals or the bacta treatment he’d administered. She examines his hair, messy and curling from the shower, before letting her eyes travel his face. She doubts she’ll ever stop feeling that magnetic pull to him, that stunned recognition of his beauty every time she pauses to study him.

He smiles at her. A full, happy smile. The fact that it is just for her makes her heart feel light. “You’re thinking loudly again,” Ben teases quietly. He bends to press a kiss to her temple before standing.

She watches him search the lockers for clean clothes before retorting, “You could always stop listening.”

“Never,” he replies immediately, though his voice comes out muffled as he pulls a shirt overhead. She grins, rolling in the blankets as she delays getting up.

“I’m going to check on that communication we missed. Do you need anything?” he asks. She cocks an eyebrow when he looks at her, waiting for an answer. She isn’t sure what he’d think she would need, her sense of humor taking over in place of a logical response.

“A palace perhaps. Some servants. A chef to prepare me something more than dehydrated cubes,” she lists, using a snarky tone of voice. Ben rolls his eyes.

“I’ll get right on that, Princess,” he retorts, the remnants of his smile lingering on his lips. She watches him go, before realizing if things had gone differently in the galaxy, he might have been a prince. She tries, but fails to imagine it. Even the smuggler’s clothes he’d worn on Nar Shaddaa seem to fit him better than whatever costume she imagines royalty would wear. 

Jeyna lingers for a few minutes, entertained by the thoughts, before finally dragging herself from the blankets to find clothes herself.

When she gets to the comms room, Ben is sitting in front of the relay silently. She hesitates when she sees the way he is staring, as if he isn’t really seeing.

“Ben? What’s wrong?”

He jerks, his eyes flitting to hers quickly before flying away. He stands, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it. “Nothing. A couple more hours and we’ll be at D’Qar.”

Jeyna’s eyes narrow as she immediately knows he is lying, his manner and their connection nearly guaranteeing it. She can feel something wrong, echoing through their bond, and it makes her stomach twist unpleasantly. “You’re lying to me,” she says quietly.

Ben’s eyes find her, the guilt plain in them. He searches her face for a long moment, his expression reluctant, before he finally answers her. “It was just some bad news. Hux made it back to the rest of the First Order fleet, and there’s been some losses,” he says slowly.

“Whose losses? The Rebels?” Jeyna questions.

“There was some…collateral damage, as well,” Ben replies. Jeyna frowns, opening her mouth to continue to question him. But his face shifts, turning focused to something beyond her senses. She knows the look immediately, holding her tongue to let him focus. “He’s waking up,” he realizes, sliding past her to head to the medbay.

She trails him, practically running to keep up. When she enters the small medical room behind Ben, it looks like Revan is still asleep. He hasn’t moved, and she wonders if perhaps Ben was mistaken. He pulls another syringe of sedative out, lifting it to add into the IV line.

Before he can, the needle is sent flying across the tiny space, colliding with the wall and shattering there. The small pieces fall to the floor next to HK-47.

“No more sedatives,” Revan whispers. He sounds like he feels terrible, and she frowns in sympathy.

“Do you want something for the pain?” Jeyna asks uncertainly. “It’s going to be a bit longer before we can get you to a proper medical facility.”

His eyes open slowly, focusing entirely on her. “No. Do you have a location for the Emperor? Has he made a move yet?”

“The Emperor?” she repeats. “You mean… Vitiate? Or…or Valkorian?”

Revan inclines his head in a small nod. “He’s the leader of the Eternal Empire. He’ll return to them when he gains enough power. They will invade the galaxy, and destroy everything in their path.”

Ben steps forward, in front of Jeyna. “He hasn’t left the galaxy. How much power does he need to bring the Empire?”

Revan’s eyes trail over to fall on Ben. “It depends. That shell he took had no force affinity. It might take a great deal…” Revan answers, before his gaze turns critical. “What are you?”

Ben’s eyes narrow, and he doesn’t answer. Jeyna shifts her weight between her feet, uncomfortable with the tension that has appeared between the two men. She can feel it, thickening the air between them.

Revan looks undeterred by Ben’s silence. “You are burdened by your power,” he observes, voice faint. “And you are too passionate to be a Jedi.”

“I left the Jedi behind,” Ben snaps.

“And yet you yearn for the light. Have you left the Sith, as well?” Revan presses.

“I don’t need the Sith. My power is my own,” Ben says. Jeyna surveys his face with worry, concerned with the irritation she can feel through their bond. He is on edge, distrustful of the man questioning him.

“Ah. Now that, is intriguing,” Revan replies after a moment. His eyes slide back shut.

Jeyna only bites her lip for a moment before she can’t help herself. “We need to know more. We need to know how to stop him, how he took over Hux…” She trails off before adding the question that’s really been bothering her. “What happened? How did you end up in stasis with him?”

Revan is silent for so long, she’s beginning to think he isn’t going to answer her. His chest rises and falls evenly, Jeyna considers that he’s even fallen back into unconsciousness. But after what feels like an eternity, he gives a pained sigh.

“That curiosity is all I remember of you,” he says. “I felt your mind calling out to me, when you were so little. All curiosity.”

Jeyna’s mouth falls open at what almost sounds like fondness in Revan’s tone, stunned by what he’s said. Is it possible he had felt her, somehow, across all of that distance? Had he sensed her opening that first holocron, in her childhood home?

“She asked you a question. Several, actually,” Ben says tersely. “Answer her.”

Revan’s lips lift in a small smirk. “Of course,” he agrees. His intense eyes focus on Jeyna, and she freezes under his attention. “I was so close to defeating him. But he had dark powers I had never seen before. He abandoned his physical body, and in my weakened state, he was able to merge with mine.”

“And Bastila Shan imprisoned you on Dromund Kaas? Could she not find a way to free you from him?” Jeyna asks immediately.

Revan nods. “Bastila and Meetra tried to stop us, to stop _him,_ but they resorted to locking us into stasis. Bastila used her blood for the seal, to ensure only she could release me once they had found a way to stop him. But she never came back.”

Jeyna frowns. Had Shan been unable to find a way to help her husband? Why had she never returned for him?

“So you wait thousands of years, until you can lure one of your descendants there instead? Offer them up as a sacrifice so you can escape?” Ben interjects harshly.

“I didn’t lure her. It was the Emperor who called to her, who sent the vision,” Revan says, and his eyes fall from Jeyna’s. “But I admit I was weak. I should have fought harder for control. Part of me was relieved that it might be over.”

“Was your mind aware the entire time?” she wonders. “I can’t imagine what that would be like…” The thought horrifies her. Being paralyzed, on a deserted world, preserved for the passage of time. How did he not go insane?

“Partially. It was different. Not awareness how we are experiencing it now,” Revan replies.

Jeyna sees Ben’s hands curl into fists at his side, a sure sign that his temper is flaring. Their connection is buzzing with his repressed emotion, but whatever it is feels like a storm. She swallows nervously. “How do we stop him?” she asks, trying to direct the conversation to safer territory.

Revan lets his head fall back, relaxed onto the med table. His eyes slip closed once more. “You don’t…”


	45. Ch. 45

Jeyna paces the main hold, anxiety rising without another outlet. Revan had lost consciousness after his cryptic answer, and she has no idea how to take it. She doesn’t have much space, and resorts to making laps back and forth. Her mind spins uselessly over his words.

What had Revan meant, that they couldn’t stop him? Surely there must be a way to defeat the Emperor, if they worked together? She had felt that Ben was stronger, his presence had been more than enough to push him from her mind.

But then, Jeyna realizes, there is the fact that Bastila never returned. Surely, she would have come back for Revan, had she found a way to defeat the Emperor, Vitiate. Perhaps her failure to return was an ominous sign…

“You’re going to wear tracks in the metal,” Ben observes, emerging from the medbay door as she turns to make yet another pass.

“Is he still out?” she asks. He nods.

“He’s weak. I think he’d be dead by now, if he weren’t so strong with the force. It might be the only thing holding him together,” Ben explains, coming forward to catch her gently in his arms. Unable to march her frustrations away, she works her bottom lip with her teeth instead.

“Try to settle,” Ben suggests softly. She stares down, and realizes his energy is much calmer than hers at the moment. He's already worked through the storming emotions that he had felt minutes before in the medbay, and she wonders if he is getting better at soothing his internal turbulence. She centers her attention on him, working to settle her nervous energy.

“I should have known better, I should have realized it was a trap. You even said so, and I didn’t listen,” she says hurriedly, the words tumbling from her lips.

Ben shakes his head. “Jeyna, stop.”

“There were warnings, and I didn’t see them,” she insists. “All of those people on the Finalizer, they’re all dead, because I was too stupid to-”

She’s cut off when he cradles her face between his large hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Stop,” he orders firmly.

Jeyna stops at the sound of his tone, surveying his warm eyes and trying to catch her breath. She curls her hands around his wrists, hanging onto him. “There will always be death and destruction in the galaxy. As long as there is the force, and force users, this will happen,” Ben says slowly. “The fault does not lie with you.”

She takes in what he says, silent for a minute. But her mind is still stubbornly churning, working over all the mistakes that led to here. “But… how did I not see it sooner? Logically, it makes sense Bastila was trying to discourage finding the star maps-”

“Jeyna.”

She falls silent at the warning way he speaks her name, as his power surges heavier around her. It feels like he’s sedating her, pulling the anxiety from her nerves and replacing it with something less frenetic. The tension relaxes from her muscles, eased by his influence.

“You heard what Revan said, didn’t you? About feeling your curiosity when you were young? That your mind called out to him?” he asks. She nods. “After thousands of years locked into stasis with his enemy, unable to escape… he felt his chance for freedom calling out to him. Don’t you think he reached out to you, as well? Maybe he didn’t mean to, maybe it was all instinct. But I would assume he was urging you on, at some level.”

Jeyna considers it, taken aback by the suggestion. Is it possible Revan had influenced her mind, for all those years? She’d been obsessed with Revan, with trying to learn everything she could about him. Out of all the studies she could have thrown herself into, all of the topics she could have pursued… was there more to her choosing to focus on Revan?

“Wouldn’t I have known, if that was happening? Felt it, or…” she drifts off, uncertain.

Ben shakes his head slightly. “Manipulation of the mind can be a very subtle thing. I would know.”

Jeyna sighs, but it feels as though he’s lifted a burden from her. The guilt is lessened, the edge of panic she’d been teetering on having smoothed out into something more stable. She presses forward to bury her face in his chest, gripping handfuls of his shirt tightly. Ben wraps his arms around her, and she lets that be all that occupies her mind, for the time being.

**D’Qar**

A few hours later, and they are coming down to land at the Rebel base on D’Qar. Jeyna watches from behind Ben as they descend, the sight of green hills nestled in surrounding jungle marking their destination. As they get closer to the ground, she sees a paved section between the hills, with scattered Resistance ships dotting the area. The only other evidence of a human presence are the communication relays, dishes and equipment set up to handle large amounts of transmissions.

“Where is the base?” she asks in confusion. She doesn’t see any buildings.

“It looks like they’ve built it into the natural terrain,” Ben remarks curiously. “Probably mostly underground. No wonder nothing turned up on preliminary scans, it wouldn’t stand out against the jungle.”

“The First Order won’t be able to find us here, right?” Jeyna asks, half paranoid.

Ben takes a moment to answer, focusing on setting them smoothly down on a level area. She can see the massive doors now, built into hills on either side of where they have landed.

“I don’t think so. They’ll likely be preoccupied elsewhere.”

Jeyna furrows her brow. “Elsewhere?”

Ben stands, making for the main hold in a hurry. She notes the way he doesn’t answer her, that feeling of something wrong returning to their connection. She tries to examine it closer as she follows him to the hatch. There’s something he’s holding back, Jeyna is sure of it.

He opens the hatch, hesitating at the sight of the Rebel medics already making their way out to them. They are supporting a stretcher between them, and though their faces look nervous as they approach, their pace doesn’t break.

“He’s out cold, but probably skip sedation if he comes to. He doesn’t seem to like that,” Ben suggests, jerking his head back towards the medbay as they start up the ramp.

“Is he stable?” one of the men asks.

“Stable enough,” Ben answers vaguely. Jeyna focuses her eyes on him suspiciously, feeling that something that he is trying to hide from her. It preoccupies his mind, but she doesn’t know enough of the force to push into his thoughts more.

The medics disappear around the corner to the medbay, and Ben starts down the ramp. Jeyna sees his destination, as Leia and Poe appear in the massive doorway that opens into the nearest hill. Poe looks much more relaxed than the last time she’d seen him, but she notices he still hovers protectively near Leia’s shoulder.

She sends one last glance towards the medbay before following Ben down the ramp, squinting as the bright sunlight strikes her eyes. The air on D’Qar is warmer than the cool ship, and she can’t help but appreciate the sun heating her skin.

They cross the pavement, coming to a stop a few feet from Leia and Poe. Jeyna realizes with embarrassment she is almost definitely wearing the woman’s former clothing. She fights the urge to fiddle nervously with the edge of the borrowed shirt, or to attempt to smooth out her hair. She shoots a glance at Ben, at the bruises still apparent on his face, his hair mussed. She guesses they both must look like a mess.

“Hello Ben,” Leia greets her son with a gentle acknowledgement, before giving Jeyna a small smile. “Jeyna, I’m sad to say, I wish we were meeting again under better circumstances.”

“You’re telling me that guy is thousands of years old?” Poe interjects in disbelief. Jeyna follows his eyes back towards the Millennium Falcon, where the medics are carefully bringing Revan down out of the ship.

“It’s good you brought him to us, we have a very capable medical team,” Leia says. “Has he spoken at all since you recovered him?”

“Only to confirm that whatever Hux is now, he’ll bring the Eternal Empire if he can reach them,” Ben answers. “We’ll need to talk to him again when he’s feeling better.”

Leia nods. “Of course. We will approach this as a temporary alliance, you will be granted full access to him while he is in our care,” she assures.

Ben nods. “Good.” Jeyna notices the awkwardness in his tone, but is glad that his tension at interacting with his mother has lessened since the last time.

The medics pass by, taking Revan deeper into the Rebel base. Leia gestures for them to follow her. As they head inside, Jeyna tries to ignore the way the resistance members stare as they pass. Some of them look upset, and she wonders just how bad their recent losses were. Ben hadn’t specified, and she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask for more details.

They end up in a meeting room, with a circular table designed to project holorecordings in the center. It is currently projecting a map of the galaxy, the planets and stars casting a blue glow to the room. “What do you know about the Eternal Empire?” Leia asks Ben as they gather around the table.

He hesitates before answering, voice guarded. “The rumors I heard only said that their territory is well past the unknown regions. That the empire was waiting for a strong enough leader to begin an invasion.”

“How do we begin to fight a threat that we know nothing about…” Leia muses quietly, her eyes searching the map between them.

“I suggest we focus our efforts on Hux. The Emperor might be weak for now, but by taking Hux he has control of the First Order. We need to stop them before he gets any more powerful, and cut him off from reaching the Empire,” Ben says firmly.

Leia considers that, nodding. “We had a few ideas, but your input might change them. Anything you can tell us about where to target-”

“General, are we really going to trust them?” Poe speaks up from where he’s been lingering, towards the back of the room. “We need to be careful. The Republic can’t take another hit like Hosnian Prime.”

Jeyna snaps her attention to Poe, concerned. “They attacked Hosnian Prime?!”

When Poe fails to answer her, she looks to Leia. But the older woman’s gaze is focused on Ben, and Jeyna trails her eyes to look at him as well. He shifts, guilt surging through their bond, to look at her. “I was going to tell you, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Tell me what?” Jeyna demands. But Ben doesn’t answer, his eyes pleading with her.

“Hosnian Prime is gone. The entire planet, everything on it, is dead,” Poe speaks up finally, his gentle tone tempering the blunt words. “He did it with the force somehow, he stripped it bare.”

“The ritual of Nathema,” Jeyna whispers in horror.

Ben’s gaze holds hers as she feels like the floor is tilting, throwing her balance off. She turns from him, suddenly needing to make a hasty retreat from the room. He grabs her arm. “Jeyna, please, wait-”

She attempts to rip her arm away, intent on escaping them and finding solitude, but he hangs on. “Let me go,” she demands.

“I was only trying to give you a moment of calm, before adding more bad news,” Ben says quickly. “You were already upset, I just wanted-”

“You wanted to hide it from me!” She interrupts, indignation overwhelming any common sense. “You had no right. Did you think I wouldn’t be able to handle the truth?”

“Of course not,” Ben insists urgently. “You’ve had to handle so much, I just wanted to protect you.”

“So you protected me with your dishonesty?” she asks in disbelief. Ben’s eyes are pained, and she can’t return his gaze any longer. She pulls her arm again, and he releases his hold of her. Jeyna can’t bring herself to look at Leia or Poe, hurrying from the room.

She needs to be alone, needs space, the earlier panic returning again so soon. It lingers at the edge of her mind, pressing closer as she walks as fast as she can back through the Rebel base. She pays no attention to anyone she passes, blindly focused on returning to the Millennium Falcon.

**Later**

Jeyna stares at the navigation map in the cockpit, as the planet of Hosnian Prime revolves slowly on the screen. She’s managed to calm herself, though her cheeks are damp with the evidence of her emotions. The statistics for the planet are displayed beneath its image, and she focuses on the population number.

How powerful would the Emperor be, now? Would it be enough, or was he going to continue consuming entire planets, fueling his power in the force? She curls further into the flight seat, trying to not imagine worse than what has already happened. As soon as Revan wakes, they will need more answers from him.

Her mind turns to Ben, and she closes her eyes, letting her head relax back. She’s grateful he’s stayed away, and let her process the news on her own. She doesn’t need forced calm, not when it comes to this. Her anger at him has passed, though she still feels indignant that he withheld information. Did he view her as so incapable, that he’d have to protect her like a child? The thought stings.

Jeyna wants to be stronger, to be able to take things in stride and keep fighting. But she’s never had to fight this much in her life, the previous span of her existence feeling dull and emotionless in comparison. Did Ben view her reactions as a weakness? She had thought he understood, after sensing just as much intensity in his feelings.

Perhaps his actions had been well intended, but she can’t help but feel a bit resentful. She can hide nothing from him, her every thought laid bare to his power and their connection. His choice to conceal information from her feels unfair.

Jeyna is pulled from her thoughts when she hears the hatch open in the main hold. She stands, wiping beneath her eyes to hide any trace of her tears. She’ll need to talk to Ben eventually, and is curious if they’ve come up with a plan. She leaves the cockpit, making her way to the exit.

She passes the medbay, only to stop dead in her tracks. Jeyna stares at the man who is not Ben, and he stares back at her. He looks just as surprised as she feels. He’s older, hair gray, and he’s dressed strangely for being in the Resistance. His clothing looks more like what she’d seen on Nar Shaddaa, a leather jacket and blaster holster visible.

He speaks first. “Who are you, and what you doing on this ship?”

Jeyna raises her eyebrows, unsure how to handle the situation. “Who are _you_ , and what are _you_ doing on this ship?” she finally asks in return.

The man’s eyes narrow in irritation, as he gives her a dirty look. “It’s my ship!” he snaps.

Her mouth falls open in realization. “You’re…You’re Han Solo?”


	46. Ch. 46

Han’s face relaxes slightly, his expression becoming more curious. “Do I know you?” he asks.

Jeyna shakes her head, taken aback at meeting Ben’s father so unexpectedly. Did Ben know Han was at the Rebel base? “No… Ben told me about you. Well, Leia did more, actually,” she answers nervously.

At the mention of Ben and Leia, Han studies her critically before seeming to form a conclusion. “You’re her.”

“I’m her?” she repeats in confusion.

“You’re the girl, the one Leia told me about. Ben’s girl,” Han clarifies, before he scoffs. “Figures.”

“Figures what?” Jeyna repeats again, her nervousness only growing at the thought of Ben’s parents talking about her.

Han looks disgruntled. “The First Order had him brainwashed for years. Figures he sees…” he pauses, before gesturing accusingly at her. “You, and that’s what gets through to him. Then he steals my ship, and joyrides it through the galaxy. Guess he is my son, after all.”

Jeyna’s taken aback by his rant, struggling to form a response, even as Han’s eyes leave hers. He looks past her, towards the cockpit. “I think we were only borrowing it-” she tries to justify.

Han interrupts. “Is he in there?” he asks, nodding his head forward.

Jeyna shakes her head. “No. The last time I saw him, he was in the base.”

Han’s face falls in disappointment before he shifts, seeming to hesitate uncertainly. He struggles for a moment, before venturing to ask, “What’s he like?”

Jeyna’s mouth drops open at the question, unsure how to begin answering it. Han looks away, raking a hand through his hair. “I haven’t seen him, you know, since he was…” He holds a hand below his hip, to where a small child’s head would reach.

Jeyna pauses, trying to gather her thoughts. She blushes at the stream of words she wants to supply to describe Ben… strong, smart, sensitive…Before she is interrupted by the memory of Ben’s dream, the one she’d unintentionally witnessed, replaying in her mind. Han’s angry voice, snapping at Leia as young Ben stood outside their bedroom door, listening. _I’m not going to sit by and watch my son become a monster._

She feels Ben’s presence with the memory, and immediately knows he is coming to them. Has he detected his father, or read her thoughts? Either way, she flinches at the harsh emotions invading her body, stemming from him.

“Well, he’s not a monster,” she says, bitterness coloring her voice. She can’t help herself, Ben’s emotions too strong for her to resist being influenced by them.

Han looks as if she’s slapped him, hurt crossing his features as he stares at her in shock. “He told you that?” he asks quietly after a tense silence.

She feels guilty immediately at his reaction, even as Ben’s anger continues to flood her system. She tries to separate herself from it. “No, he…he dreamed it. And I saw it,” she tries to explain.

Han shakes his head slightly, his eyes dropping from hers to search the dull metal floor of the ship. “I never should have said that. He was never supposed to hear that,” Han admits.

Jeyna frowns at the defeat in his voice, before she hears the main hatch open again. She doesn’t need to look to know it is Ben, his chaotic energy hitting her like a wave well before he appears in the main hold behind Han. But she takes a sharp breath at the sight of him, his eyes dark, face set into an emotionless mask.

Han turns, his mouth dropping open at his son’s appearance. “Ben,” he breathes.

“Han Solo,” he acknowledges, and she winces. It’s not the voice she’s grown used to lately, but the cold tone of Kylo Ren he speaks with. His eyes don’t stay on his father for long, tearing from Han to settle on Jeyna. “We’ve been given temporary quarters in the base, if you’d like to rest,” he spits out, sounding more like he’s commanding than offering.

Jeyna doesn’t need to use their force bond to feel his intent. His buried pain has resurfaced, raw and fresh, at sensing his father. He hasn’t come to offer her a place to rest for the evening. He’s come to pull her from his father, to remove her from the source of his pain. She nods, passing Han and giving him an apologetic look.

He looks desperately between her and Ben, struggling for words. “Ben, please, let me talk to you!” he pleads.

Ben’s eyes stay locked on hers, refusing to look back at Han. “Nothing you have to say is of any interest to me,” he snaps cruelly. When Jeyna reaches him, he turns, practically slamming his feet into the ramp as he departs the ship. Night has fallen on the planet outside, and she follows his lead through one of the massive doors into a hillside.

**D’Qar, Sleeping Quarters**

Jeyna enters the quarters, letting the door slide closed behind them with relief. The Resistance members they’d passed had looked alarmed at the sight of Ben storming past, and she can’t blame them. He looks half murderous, and she can’t imagine what rumors they’ve heard about him. She sits down on the bed to stay out of his way as he paces the room like an animal raging inside a cage, hands clenched into fists.

“I shouldn’t have withheld the information about Hosnian Prime from you,” he spits out without meeting her gaze.

She frowns, not expecting him to bring up their earlier disagreement after what happened with Han. “It’s alright, Ben,” she says softly. “We don’t have to talk about that now.”

“I won’t hide things from you again,” he insists angrily.

“That’s not important right now,” Jeyna tries to reassure him. It seems to have no effect on him, and she wishes she could ease his struggle. “How can I help?” she asks tentatively. She doesn’t know where to begin soothing the tangled mass of emotions that have been dragged up at seeing his father.

Ben’s frantic pacing stops, his dark eyes finally settling on her. His features are still locked into an expression of fury as he surveys her. She flinches when he comes towards her, practically throwing himself down to the ground in front of where she sits. He’s on her immediately, his lips stealing hers in an aggressive kiss. Jeyna gasps softly, and he steals that too, his hand circling her throat and keeping her prisoner to his demands.

Her body responds with immediate arousal at this side of him, taking what he needs so roughly from her. She complies when he surges up, towering over her as she crawls back on the bed. Ben’s limbs cage her in, pinning her beneath him as his tongue claims her mouth as his.

She kisses him back, unable to deny him anything he wants. But when he breaks from her mouth, giving her a chance to gasp for breath, she can’t help but realize what he’s doing. He’s searching for a distraction, desperate for a way to bury the pain back down.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs against his lips. “It’s okay that it hurts.”

The anger snaps in him, crumbling apart even as his body stiffens above her. She opens her eyes to see Ben’s, the tears clinging to his lashes as he loses his fight. He drops his face into the crook of her neck, shoulders shaking even as he refuses to make a sound.

Jeyna wraps her arms around him, feeling warmth on her skin as his tears escape. She holds him tight, waiting until his breathing becomes less shaky to begin rubbing his shoulders, combing her fingers through his hair. She doesn’t speak, somehow sensing that he prefers her touches.

A long time has passed before Ben shifts, and the room is pitched into darkness, the light extinguishing as though he’s physically hit the switch. He rolls onto his back on the bed, pulling her to his side. They are both silent as exhaustion takes over them, giving in to sleep.

**Much Later**

Jeyna is deep in sleep when the dream begins. She is looking at a baby, a newborn based on how small he looks. His eyes are open, and she recognizes them even as she speaks his name. “Ben.” The voice she speaks in is not her own, too deep and masculine.

Wherever her consciousness lingers, suppressed beneath the fog of sleep, she recognizes this dream is not hers. Is it Han’s? She's looking from his perspective, trapped in this recollection of his son.

She’s nervous, unsure how to interact with this small person that can’t even walk or talk. And yet his brown eyes are so aware, focused on her, as if he knows exactly what she is feeling.

“You know…they say people have kids because they want them to be better. To do what they never could.” She hesitates. “I guess that’s why Leia named you Ben. She named you after her hope.”

The baby fusses for a moment, and panic flares in her chest. Has she done something wrong? She doesn’t know where to begin soothing a baby. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” She reaches for him, but her hand, or rather Han's, hovers uncertainly near him.

“Look, I um… I’m probably not going to be a good father. I don’t know what fathers are supposed to do.” She looks into his eyes, and hopes that he understands. “But I promise you, Ben, it’s going to be okay. The whole galaxy could be against you, but I’ll be right there behind you… I will always point you in the right direction.”

The baby’s face crunches up, turning red as he begins to cry. The panic returns, and she lingers near him anxiously.

“Is he crying?”

She turns to see Leia appear, and though she looks tired, she is beautiful. Younger, her hair flowing freely, dressed in a nightgown as she joins them.

“I was just talking to him, I don’t know what’s wrong,” she says, wincing as the baby’s cries grow high pitched.

Leia smiles tiredly, her expression fond if slightly amused. “Babies cry, Han. Hold him, rock him. He’ll calm down,” she suggests.

She hesitates, feeling Han's nervousness at the thought of holding their son. But she does as Leia suggests, gently picking the baby up with hands that aren’t hers, shifting him into her arms awkwardly. She stares down into those eyes, and she knows she isn’t imagining that feeling. There’s something more to this little baby, something powerful. “He’s like you and Luke, isn’t he?” she asks in Han’s voice, a quiet whisper.

Leia nods, and she rocks him slightly. His whimpers die down, content at the contact. “I’ll never be able to connect with him. Not like that." 

“You don’t need the force to love,” Leia comforts. “The only connection he needs from you is his father’s love, Han.”

She looks down at Ben’s small face, his eyes drifting closed as he falls back asleep in her arms. And she feels it, so strongly, an immediate love. She would do anything for this small person, anything he needed of her. She feels the promise made in her heart, to always do what is best for him.

_How did I get it so wrong?_

Jeyna sits up in a panic as she abruptly returns to consciousness, the dream yanked away unexpectedly. Han’s despair lingers in her chest, an almost physical ache. Her eyes take a moment to focus, her heart pounding in alarm as she surveys the dark room.

She’s in bed still, the sheets a tangled mess around her legs. She doesn’t remember tucking herself in. Her gaze falls to Ben, and she realizes he is awake as well, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Ben, were you dreaming?” she asks. She can’t make out his face, his dark hair blocking it from view. But he shakes his head slightly.

“It wasn’t a dream.”

“What do you mean?” she questions, shifting to pull herself next to him. She reaches out to tuck his hair back, and he looks at her, eyes pained.

“It’s what he’s thinking. I can’t block him out, he won’t stop thinking about me,” Ben whispers.

She realizes suddenly what is happening. Wherever Han is, he must be dwelling on his memories of Ben. His thoughts have invaded both of their attempts at sleep, preoccupying Ben’s mind, and by extension, hers.

She is silent for a few moments, unsure what to say. But she can’t help herself, curious if he’d detected Han’s emotions the way she had. “Did you feel it?” she asks, remembering the love Han had experienced, staring down at his son.

Ben’s eyes are once again damp with tears he tries to not shed, barely visible in the dark room. He searches her gaze desperately. “I felt it,” he admits, voice breaking. He looks away, roughly dragging a hand over his eyes. “It’s the first time I’ve ever felt it like that.”

She can’t stop herself, throwing her arms around him to pull him into an embrace. He returns it, and they sit in silence, holding onto each other for a while. Jeyna holds back from voicing her thoughts, but she can’t stop her mind from running. How long can Ben hang onto the pain and anger? In pushing Han away, he’s continuing to hurt himself.

However, she doesn’t want to tell him what to do, refusing to voice that she thinks he should go to his father. But as always, she doesn’t need to say it aloud for Ben to hear it.

“I know,” he murmurs into her hair. “I will.”

**Early Morning**

Jeyna clings to her cup of caffa protectively, having nearly been overjoyed to hear that some existed at the Rebel base. She hasn’t had it in so long, she nearly forgot the taste. She’s hovering by a hillside, the bright early morning light illuminating the pavement outside. It glints off the Millennium Falcon, near where Han and Ben stand, a cautious distance apart.

She fights the urge to stare at them, trying to respect Ben’s wish to talk to his father alone. She wonders what they are saying, Ben’s energy too hard to read with the force. The pain has faded, but it’s a swirling whirlpool of emotion coursing through their connection.

Jeyna stares off beyond the hills, to where she can just make out the top of the trees that mark the beginning of the jungle. A fog is hovering in the air, distant bird calls barely discernable.

“Good morning, Jeyna.”

She jumps in surprise, nearly sloshing her caffa over the side. Leia has appeared next to her, and smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she says.

“It’s alright. I think I’m a bit jumpy in general,” Jeyna admits, giving a sheepish smile in return. “Good morning,” she adds awkwardly.

Leia looks out towards where Han and Ben are speaking, before sighing. “I’ll admit, I thought it would take a great deal longer for him to give Han a chance.”

Jeyna takes a sip of the hot drink, uncertain what to say. She finally settles with saying, “I think it will be good for him, though.”

Leia nods. “Hopefully as good for him as you’ve been.”

She blushes, her cheeks hot at the observation. “He’s…he’s been good for me, too.”

“Has he?” the older woman asks, raising her eyebrows. Jeyna nods, fighting the urge to look away from his mother’s inquisitive stare. “Do you love him?” Leia asks bluntly.

“I do,” Jeyna admits tentatively. Leia’s gaze softens, and she smiles again.

She relaxes as the former princess looks away, back at her son and husband. “He loves you, too. Fiercely,” Leia remarks. “It’s very obvious when he looks at you.”

Jeyna busies herself draining the rest of her caffa, embarrassment lingering from the exchange. She ends up giving in to her desire to watch Ben and his father, noting the way the distance between them decreases. She tries to focus on their connection, to feel his emotions. They seem to be settling, to her relief. But as she tunes in, she notices something else.

Something calling to her, just at the edge of her perception.

Jeyna turns, glancing back into the base. What is that, prickling her senses? She feels an urge to investigate, to follow it, before she realizes… Could it be Revan?

Leia is still absorbed, watching Ben and Han. So Jeyna turns, headed back into the base to follow that sensation. She is led on an unfamiliar route, away from the meeting rooms and sleeping quarters she’d previously visited. She finds herself in the medical wing, striding with enough purpose that none of the personnel question her as she passes.

Jeyna stops when she arrives at the private room, reaching out to touch the pad to open the door. It slides open a moment before her fingers can make contact, revealing Revan. He’s awake, propped up in the bed. He looks intrigued, matching her gaze where she hovers, just outside his small room.

“I suppose that answers that,” he says slowly. “It would appear there is a bridge between our minds.”

She steps into the room, unable to stop her eyes from falling down his bare chest. A jagged scar crosses from his shoulder, diagonally across his body. She can’t see where it stops, disappearing beneath the white sheet. The more she looks, the more she notices more scars. What looks like the remains of a bad puncture wound marks his abs, his left bicep marred by a crisscrossing burn pattern.

When Jeyna’s eyes return to Revan’s, he is calmly watching her. “Were you testing it? To see if I’d come when you called?” she guesses.

He inclines his head in a nod. “You are smart.”

“So Ben was right. You’ve been calling to me all this time,” she accuses.

“He was correct, there does appear to be a tether between us,” Revan admits. “Though I did not intentionally establish it. Regardless, it seems to be a source of jealousy for him.”

She isn’t imagining the humor in his eyes, as though the situation amuses him. “I’m glad you think it’s funny, that I’ve been manipulated all my life.”

He frowns, the humor vanishing from his gaze. “I apologize. Now that we are aware of it, we can try to sever it, if you prefer? Though that seems unnecessary. Simply being aware of it should allow you a greater degree of autonomy.”

Jeyna sighs, stepping closer to him. She can feel that he is stronger, his power somehow brighter in the force. “You’re feeling better, I assume?” she asks, choosing to change subjects for the moment.

“Much,” he agrees. “I’m glad that you’ve come.”

“Why?” Jeyna asks suspiciously.

Revan’s dark eyes rove over hers before he answers. “We have much to discuss.”


	47. Ch. 47

Jeyna ends up sitting hesitantly, and tries to answer Revan’s questions about the state of the galaxy to the best of her ability. He seems to have filled in a great deal on his own somehow, but he listens to the information with an attentive focus. She has a hard time holding his gaze, and resorts to searching the small medical room instead.

“Do I make you nervous?” Revan asks suddenly, voice curious.

Jeyna flushes with embarrassment that he has noticed, and when she glances at him briefly, his eyes are once again amused. “Yes,” she admits lowly.

“Why?”

She fidgets in the small chair, trying to find the words to explain. Surely, he is aware of how his power in the force is nearly tangible? The energy he possesses pulls her like gravity now that he has healed. “You’re… you’re very strong,” she tries to explain. “I can feel it, in the force. It's intimidating.”

“Your Master is just as strong,” Revan remarks. “I would think you are used to it.”

Jeyna looks at him in confusion. “My Master?” she repeats, before she realizes he is referring to Ben. “Ben isn’t my Master…”

Revan smiles, and she is surprised at how it changes his features, rearranging them into something warm. “Isn’t he?” he presses.

She shakes her head. “It’s not like that, he isn’t training me,” she denies.

Revan raises his eyebrows slightly. “He opened you to the force, guided you through its currents. Perhaps his lessons weren’t by design, but he’s taught you how to use it like another sense,” Revan says. “He will teach you a great deal more, I think.”

“How do you know that?” she asks suspiciously.

“I was in your head, on Dromund Kaas. I felt the bond you have formed, the way he used it to help you. He guided your power to force Vitiate out,” Revan explains. “You may not be the strongest with the force, but you make a good student.”

Jeyna considers what he’s said before replying. “A student of what? I don’t think Ben wants to follow either side anymore.”

The smile returns to Revan’s face. “And that is exactly what makes him so valuable to the galaxy.”

“What do you mean?” She presses.

“Stability cannot be found by clinging to extremes,” Revan answers vaguely. “We are all a duality, and I am pleased to find another who has embraced this nature. Perhaps now I can meet the end of my journey.” 

Jeyna is alarmed at his words, at his apparent acceptance of his fate. “Why did you say we can’t stop the Emperor? There has to be something we can do.”

“I meant that _you_ will not stop him. It is my fight,” Revan answers.

She furrows her brow, not content to settle for the explanation, when the door slides open. Ben is standing in the doorway, his expression openly irritated. His eyes scan over Jeyna before jumping to glare at Revan, accusatory.

“You,” Ben snaps.

“Me,” Revan replies calmly.

“Were you trying to block her from me?” Ben asks, stepping into the room.

“You noticed sooner than I expected,” Revan replies, shrugging a shoulder slightly.

Jeyna stands, attempting to place herself between the two men. She hadn't even noticed that Revan had been meddling with their connection, the effects too faint for her to detect. But Ben must have, his stance threatening, hands clenched. “We were just talking,” she insists futilely.

Ben doesn’t even look at her, his furious eyes locked onto Revan. “Stay out of her head,” he orders.

“I'm sorry for intruding upon your territory,” Revan remarks coolly.

Jeyna’s surprised to see the anger fall from Ben’s expression, replaced by something uncertain. “I don’t manipulate her mind,” Ben finally argues. “Not like you’ve done.”

“You don’t,” Revan agrees. “But you hover close, using her mind like a comfort. I apologize for valuing privacy, but warn you that one day she will desire the same. You should learn to give it to her when needed.”

Jeyna is taken aback by the way Ben’s stance falters, his discomfort clear to her through their bond. Revan seems to have hit a nerve, his words targeting some insecurity she wasn’t even aware of. Ben finally looks away from Revan, his eyes searching hers questioningly.

She tries to reassure him with her thoughts. She doesn’t mind his presence, the way he is always lingering in her thoughts has been a welcome constant. But perhaps one day, when they both feel safer, she wonders if they could find more of a balance. A way for her to control the connection as well, to keep her thoughts to herself when desired. But she would never dream of giving up those intimate moments altogether, when their minds meld into one.

Ben gives her a small nod, and she knows he understands. “Maybe you’re right. But if you’re well enough to talk to her, then you are well enough to meet with all of us,” Ben concedes.

Revan’s lips quirk into a small smile. “True. I do have one question for you alone.”

“What is that?” Ben asks, his eyes narrowing with intrigue.

“I need to ask what you intend to do with the galaxy. Can you accomplish what I did not?” Revan presses, shifting to lean forward in the bed. Their eyes lock, and Jeyna tenses as she feels their energies clashing.

“What did you not accomplish?” Ben asks after a moment.

“I was forbidden to train others. I settled for that, for keeping my knowledge to myself. It was an error,” Revan says. “When the time came for me to die, I battled against it. I clung to life, so my lessons wouldn’t die with me. But you have learned those same lessons. You can pass them on.”

Ben laughs slightly, but the noise is a harsh sound. “I don’t think the Jedi would have wanted me teaching anybody.”

“Not the Jedi,” Revan corrects him. “You said your power is your own. You have found balance, and refused to be claimed by either side. This is a hard thing to accomplish, but it is what the galaxy needs.”

Jeyna can feel the energy shift in the force, both of them seeming to relax as they come to some understanding. She breathes easier, watching as Ben shrugs slightly. “I failed at being a Jedi, like I failed at being Sith. And you call it an accomplishment,” he muses quietly.

“You did not fail,” Revan insists. “You have found the way forward.”

**Later**

Jeyna surveys herself in the small mirror mounted to the wall of the refresher. The clothes she’s borrowed feel strange on her, the Rebel insignia marked on the jacket. It doesn’t feel quite right, and she ends up shrugging it off to leave on the hook. She walks out into the sleeping quarters she’d shared with Ben the night before, watching as he pulls a gray shirt overhead.

“We should head to the meeting room,” he says when he catches her eyes. “They cleared Revan from the medbay, so we can get moving on a plan.”

Jeyna nods, her stomach in a knot with emotion. She had too much time to think, her mind running over all of their many close calls. She’s come so close to losing him, to losing everything, too many times. She is reluctant to think about another situation that could risk either of their lives.

Ben comes close, his eyes searching hers. “You’re afraid,” he says gently.

“I’m always afraid,” Jeyna replies with self-deprecation. A wry smile twists her mouth.

He frowns slightly, pulling her nearer to wrap his arms around her. “Your emotions aren’t a weakness. With the force, you might find they are a strength.”

“Did you hear that?” she asks, thinking of her time alone in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. Had he been listening, as she questioned if her feelings made her seem incapable?

“Yes,” Ben admits. “I am not very good at giving you space.” He gives her a small, apologetic grin.

“Well, we can work on that,” Jeyna says, smiling teasingly.

He nods. “I intend to. But I needed to explain…I didn’t hide it because I think you are weak. I didn’t want to see you hurt more, even knowing it was inevitable.”

“I understand,” she murmurs as he draws closer, his honey brown eyes all that she can focus on. “I just don’t want to lose you,” she admits quietly.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he breathes against her lips, before they are lost to a kiss. It is sweet but desperate, and they end up clinging to one another, prolonging the inevitable.

**Rebel Headquarters**

They find Han and Leia already in the meeting room, both falling silent as they walk in. Jeyna suspects that their arrival has interrupted a private conversation, some sort of tension lingering between the pair.

She doesn’t have long to consider it before they’re joined by Luke and Revan. Revan is back in his armor and robes, looking to be near full strength. Jeyna's eyes fall to the lightsabers that hang from his belt, curious if they match the descriptions she had found in the archives. None of her research had prepared her for the man Revan has turned out to be, his personality still something of a mystery. Though Luke had accompanied him into the room, the former Jedi hangs back near the door while Revan comes closer.

“I’m glad that you have made a recovery,” Leia greets Revan. “We were hoping you’d be able to assist us in a plan to handle the situation.”

Revan nods, gesturing to the galaxy map projected above the center table. “Do we have a location on him?”

“My team is tracking the First Order to the best of our abilities. They seem to be approaching the core planets,” Leia answers.

“We need to intercept him before he acts again. Are your forces capable of handling the First Order long enough to get me on his ship?” Revan asks.

Jeyna notices the way Han looks at Leia, his face skeptical. It makes her wary, even as Leia assures, “We can get you to his ship. Getting on board is another matter, however.”

“I can hack the codes to get into a hangar bay,” Ben speaks up. “They use a revolving key code, but I know the patterns.”

“We’re going to need every X-wing on this planet, and even that is going to be a stretch,” Luke speaks up from near the door. He catches Leia’s gaze, and for a moment they seem to be communicating silently with a long look.

“It is going to take everything we have,” Leia admits finally. “But it’s what we’ll have to do.”

“You need to get on comms,” Luke insists. “Call in for reinforcements. Maybe if your allies hear you, they will come to our aid.”

Leia considers it before inclining her head. “I can see if there is any more assistance to be gained. I’m sure news of Hosnian Prime has reached them…. Given the stakes, perhaps they will fight.”

Jeyna can’t help herself, speaking up when it is clear Leia has finished speaking. “What is the plan for stopping him? We can’t just kill Hux, can we? Not if the Emperor can just take someone else.”

“He must be incredibly powerful in the dark side of the force,” Luke adds. “How do we contain him long enough to defeat him?”

Jeyna freezes when Revan’s eyes rise to meet hers from across the room. “I learned a great deal from my experience with Vitiate. I believe I can manipulate his power, and force him back into a merger with myself.”

Ben shifts next to her, his energy turning agitated. “What good will that do?” he asks.

“If I can control him for long enough… I can become one with the force, and take him with me. I don’t know what will become of him, but what he has stolen will be returned to the universe,” Revan explains. “He’ll be left powerless, and pulled from the physical realm. It is as close to death as can be managed, for something like him.”

Jeyna’s jaw drops open. “You mean you’re sacrificing yourself…” she says in horror. The room is silent as she stares at Revan. The thought of him persisting for so long, only to sacrifice himself troubles her. She can’t imagine everything he has seen and done, and all of it will be lost with him, forever. 

Revan’s gaze on her softens. “This is not my time. I should have finished this, long ago.”

“What happens if you are wrong?” Ben speaks up to question him. “If you can’t control him?”

Revan’s gaze turns to the younger male. “Then you are the back up plan. You kill me, and him. Bury your lightsaber in my chest.”

Jeyna winces at the thought, trying to think of another way. But she comes up blank, and by the looks of everyone else in the room, they too are lacking in another option. A silence permeates the space, thick with tension.

Ben breaks it. “Is no one going to say it?” he asks, looking around. “Fine, I’ll say it. This is a terrible plan.”

Han shifts, his face suggesting he’d like to agree. But a stern look from Leia seems to still his tongue. “It may be all we can manage, given the circumstances,” she says quietly. “Our numbers are low. We should-”

The door slides open, and she pauses as Poe throws himself into the meeting space. “General, we are out of time,” he pants. Jeyna realizes he is out of breath, as if he’d run to catch them.

“What’s happening?” Leia asks.

“The First Order’s moving on Corellia,” Poe announces. “Their fleet is surrounding the planet.”

**Minutes Later**

Jeyna runs up the ramp into the Millennium Falcon, trailing Ben and Revan. Ships are taking off from D’Qar in a hurry, rising to break from the atmosphere and jump to lightspeed. Revan and Ben both make for the cockpit immediately, the engines firing up a moment later. She turns as Han boards the ship behind her, only to flinch as they are joined by a massive Wookie.

The Wookie shuts the hatch, then turns back to study her like he is fascinated. Jeyna tries to calm herself, her heart pounding with instinctive fear. But she suspects she recognizes this Wookie. Could it be the one whose picture had been saved on the holopad in the dormitory locker?

Han looks between them. “Chewie, this is Jeyna. Jeyna, Chewie,” he introduces them. "She's Ben's girl," he tells the Wookie helpfully, and Jeyna can't help but feel amused at the title Ben's father uses to refer to her.

"It's nice to meet you," Jeyna says, trying to be polite. The Wookie roars loudly, and her eyes widen with confusion as she fails to understand.

“Sort of like life mates,” Han answers him, apparently knowing Shyriiwook. Jeyna cocks an eyebrow as the Wookie, Chewie, makes a gentler noise. “I’m glad we got him back too, Chewie,” Han agrees.

The ship lurches beneath them as they lift off in a hurry, and Han gestures towards some of the flight seats. “You might want to buckle up. This could get rough,” he suggests.

Jeyna sits down. “It’ll be okay. Ben’s an amazing pilot,” she says, distracted with buckling the harness over herself. When she looks up, Han has a smile on his face.

“He is, huh?” he asks. She nods, not missing the way his smile grows, pride apparent in his eyes.

Chewie disappears down the ladder towards the laser cannon, and Jeyna hangs on as the ship jumps to hyperspace. Her heart beats faster, feeling like it’s risen up to somewhere in her throat. She clings onto the harness nervously. Han seems to be aware of her nerves, and gives her a reassuring look.

“If it helps, I can guarantee you this is far from the stupidest thing I’ve ever done,” he says.

“What is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” she asks.

“That’s a long story, but I promise I’ll tell you when this is all done,” Han answers. "It's a good one, so something to look forward to."

She can’t help but smile, even as she lets her eyes close, reaching out for Ben. Jeyna feels him, the connection as strong as ever. His voice fills her mind: **_I’m here. I’m not going anywhere._**


	48. Ch. 48

**Approaching Corellia**

They drop out of hyperspace smoothly, the sub-lightspeed engines taking over. For a few moments, everything is calm. Then Jeyna hangs on as the Falcon rapidly shifts directions. Ben appears to be maneuvering them through obstacles, though she has no idea what since the main hold lacks any viewports. As much as she hates the dizzying sights outside of the cockpit, Jeyna almost wishes she had it now. Not being able to see what they are evading makes the experience even more disorienting.

The ship shudders with impacts a moment before she hears the vibration of the laser cannon going off below. Chewie must be shooting at something, even as shots continues striking the vessel.

“We’re outnumbered, but we just need to get through and let the rest of them handle the fighters,” Han tells her. “Hang in there.”

Jeyna nods before clamping her eyes shut, fighting nausea as they are spun rapidly without explanation. She reaches out in the force, and knows that they have just narrowly avoided something disastrous. She feels Ben’s focus, and realizes she can detect something else.

She knows that they are about to swerve sharply, a moment before they do. Ben’s impulses are transmitting across the connection before he acts on them. She focuses more, finding the split second of warning helps to ease the nausea she’s experiencing.

The laser cannon continues shooting nearly nonstop below them, as the Falcon’s shields soak up enemy fire. One particularly strong impact hits the ship, and there is an echoing crack that seems ominous. Suddenly she feels the engines kick into reverse, rapidly slowing them. “Hang on!” Han shouts.

Jeyna grits her teeth, a moment before it feels like they slam into something beneath them. Ben is trying to get them to come to a stop, but something is wrong with the ship. There’s a terrible screeching sound from below as they slide, like metal against metal.

“Is the ship broken?” she shouts.

“It’s had better days, that’s for damn sure!” Han shouts back over the racket.

They finally grind to a halt, the smell of burning metal filling her nostrils. Her pulse is pounding in her hands as she fumbles to unbuckle the harness. Han’s already up, arming himself with a blaster. She reaches for one herself as she stands, but Han seems to hesitate.

“You know how to handle this?” he asks skeptically.

Jeyna gives him a sour look before grabbing for it, relieved when he relents. “I’ve used one before,” she insists.

She hears something, ricocheting off the ship. It sounds like blaster fire, echoing off the metal it can’t penetrate. The First Order must already know they’ve arrived in whichever hangar they’ve landed. Judging by the commotion, their ship is quickly being surrounded.

Chewie climbs up from the laser cannon, arming himself with a bowcaster as Ben and Revan emerge from the cockpit. Their energies are oddly synced, and strongly focused. It’s enough to momentarily stun her, the combined intensity of them in the force.

“I transmitted the hangar codes to the rest of the Republic fleet,” Ben explains. “Hopefully we’ll get some backup.”

“Time to see if Luke’s still got it,” Han replies humorously. Chewie roars in what Jeyna interprets as agreement.

“Keep her back,” Ben tells his father, nodding at Jeyna. “I don’t want her anywhere near the fighting.”

Han nods, even as Jeyna opens her mouth to argue. Ben seems to sense the argument coming, as he ignites the blue lightsaber at his side. His eyes hold hers, commanding. “I can’t focus if I am worrying about you. Stay back,” he insists. She nods reluctantly.

Revan approaches the hatch and pauses there. “Soon. Very soon,” he says quietly, as though musing to himself. She’s taken aback by the unexpected longing in his voice. She wonders, bizarrely, if he is looking forward to his death. Surely that can't be what he means.

Her mouth drops open when he holds out his sabers, one in each hand. They ignite at the same time, and she sees one is indeed a purple beam, as historical records had suggested. But the second surprises her. Rather than the red she’d been expecting, she realizes it is a deep, burning orange. How many times had she imagined this sight as she read about him? The legendary Jedi and Sith Lord Revan, ready for battle? 

Han pushes Jeyna back gently, away from the hatch. She can just see when Ben joins Revan, slamming his hand on the panel to open the door. The reaction is immediate, as blaster fire erupts outside. Revan flings an arm out, and she sees a few of the troopers past the doorway flung backwards and out of her line of sight. Then they both depart down the ramp, in a flurry of spinning lightsabers.

“Chewie, let’s see if we can give them some cover!” Han shouts. He and the Wookie approach the opening, firing and occasionally ducking back to find cover.

Jeyna stays back as she’s been told, cringing every time the large bowcaster goes off. She clenches her jaw in frustration, wishing there were something she could do to help. But as soon as she thinks it, she feels a wave of disapproval from Ben in response. She can’t see much anyway, where she is tucked out of the way of danger.

But she can hear plenty, and realizes the sounds of enemy fire are slowing down. She moves, getting closer to the doorway to see what is happening. She can just make out Ben and Revan, nearly clearing the hangar. They move together, back to back, their lightsabers blurring with their rapid motions. From this distance, it is a haze of purple, blue, and reddish orange, a dizzying whirl. The stormtroopers can’t land a hit, and they are easily cut down until she loses sight of them.

Gradually, the blaster sounds fade to nothing, as Ben and Revan push ahead. Chewie steps out of the ship, checking around before waving Han forward. She joins him cautiously, trying to see more as the sound of their lightsabers is distant. But Ben and Revan are too far ahead, moving with brutal efficiency together. Jeyna is anxious, relying solely on their connection to feel that Ben is safe.

“Stay behind me,” Han requests. “And don’t do anything stupid. Please.”

She makes a noise of agreement, distracted as she can finally see the rest of the hangar. It’s different from the Finalizer, and she realizes they must have landed on the Supremacy. The massive space is nearly empty of TIE fighters, which means most of their ships have joined the battle that is raging above Corellia. There are flashes of it outside, through the magnetic shield that keeps the atmosphere in.

Jeyna tries to avoid looking at the fallen troopers, even as she notices some of them have been flung clear across the hangar. They lay crumpled on the other side, in distorted positions.

“Well, it’s not pretty,” Han remarks. He is surveying the exterior of the Millennium Falcon. “But it’ll get us out of here, at least.”

There is heavy scarring from laser fire on the vessel, some of it penetrating deep into the hull. They’re lucky none of it broke through entirely. The shields must have absorbed enough energy to protect the integrity of the ship.

There is blaster fire ahead, somewhere deeper in the ship. Jeyna’s head whips that way, renewed worry for Ben filling her.

“Look out!” Han calls suddenly, dragging her back towards the Falcon’s loading ramp. She is confused until an X-wing comes screaming into the hangar bay from the blackness of space outside. It lands swiftly, joined by two more a moment later.

Luke climbs down from the first X-wing, surveying the place quickly. “I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to hold them off,” he tells Han.

“They’re headed towards the bridge,” Han replies, a moment before he pulls Jeyna back behind him. She flinches as he fires, his blaster bolt connecting with a stormtrooper that has appeared across the hangar. A squad of them pour into the space from a corridor, and Chewie aims his bowcaster. The troopers are flung up into the air by the blast, dropping like dead weights a moment later.

The Rebels from the other X-wings join them, taking up defensive positions. “I’m going after them. Can you hold down the hangar bay?” Luke asks urgently.

“You got it,” Han confirms.

Jeyna freezes as Luke’s blue eyes survey her for a moment, gaze analytical. She wonders what the former Jedi is thinking, before he gives a sigh of impatience. “Well come on,” he says abruptly. “Let’s head out.” He gestures in the direction that leads to the control center of the ship. 

“She should stay here, it’s safer,” Han tries to argue.

Luke shakes his head. “I’ll watch out for her. She needs to go,” he insists. Jeyna furrows her brow in confusion, but can’t deny that she wants to go after Ben. 

**Minutes Later**

They race down hallway after hallway, the shiny black floors of the Supremacy littered with the unconscious or dead bodies of stormtroopers. At one point they pass a security droid, exploded into pieces. Luke handles the few personnel they run into with ease, though he relies solely on nonlethal means. Most of their journey to the bridge is surprisingly easy. Ben and Revan appear to make an unstoppable combination, judging by the trail of wreckage left in their wake.

Jeyna senses as they get closer to Ben, even as his energy battles with something darker. She realizes she can feel the Emperor, his cold void of power apparent when he lashes out at Ben. And very distantly, she can detect Revan. Their connection is nothing like hers and Ben’s, but enough that she can just feel him in the force.

Are they fighting together? They must have reached the Emperor. Her pace accelerates as she subconsciously drives herself towards them faster, the need to make sure Ben is safe overriding common sense. She’s stopped when Luke catches her arm.

She looks back at him. “What are you doing? We need to go!” Jeyna demands irrationally.

“I’m not letting you get yourself killed a second time,” Luke explains calmly, holding her from charging ahead. “Wait a moment.”

Jeyna struggles with the inability to act, feeling the turbulence in the force so close ahead. She knows logically that Ben would want her to stay safe, but her every instinct wants more. “But they’re fighting!” she protests. "What if they need help?”

She stares, agape as Luke deactivates his saber. “No. They’re winning,” he says plainly. She furrows her brow questioningly. “Focus. Look past your own fear for him. Feel his emotions,” Luke suggests.

She tries, reaching out for Ben in the way that is like habit to her now. The energy of the three force users is so chaotic, she has a hard time focusing on him alone. But the longer she tries, the more Ben alone becomes clear. He isn’t afraid or desperate, as she’s felt before. There is something like calmness in him, a confidence.

“It’s almost over,” Luke reassures, dropping his hand that had been restraining.

“Then why did I need to come here?” Jeyna asks in confusion. “Why didn’t you just leave me in the hangar?”

“Call it a feeling,” Luke answers vaguely. She searches his gaze, but finds it completely unreadable. “I think it’s about time.”

She stares after Luke as he walks forward, still confused, before following. They reach the doorway at the end of the hall, and it slides open to reveal the bridge. It’s nearly abandoned, as though the First Order officers had the good sense to flee.

But the view through the transparisteel windows makes up for it, cluttered with activity. The tangled mess of Rebel ships and TIE fighters is visible, battling in the blackness of space. Far out is the Resistance command ship, the one Leia must be on.

Jeyna follows Luke further into the bridge, passed damaged computers and holo screens. Equipment is shattered and sparking, though she can’t tell what has caused all the destruction. Her attention is captured when she sees Ben, standing over Revan with his blue lightsaber held at the ready.

Revan is collapsed on the floor, his body spasming. Has he already done it? Is his body once again being shared with the Emperor? He looks to be struggling internally, hands digging like claws against the floor. Luke approaches the pair, his green saber igniting as he joins his nephew above the former Sith lord. They seem to be waiting, letting Revan battle for control but ready to act if he fails.

Jeyna hangs back, uncertainly searching for Hux. What happened to him, if the Emperor is no longer possessing him? When she finally spots him, cold horror washes over her.

Hux is lying, abandoned by a command console. Jeyna creeps nearer as she realizes he is conscious, though he looks to be gasping for breath. His skin is a ghastly gray tone, his hair mussed and drenched with sweat. His face is gaunt, sunken to purple half-moons beneath each eye. Hux’s cheeks are hollowed, his whole body shriveled as through something has fed on his energy, ravenously. Is this what the Emperor did to him? Did Vitiate burn him up from the inside, leaving this wrecked body behind?

Jeyna steps closer, hesitant with fear but drawn by the fact that she can feel him. Somehow in the force, she can feel Hux for the very first time. She’s never strongly felt another person besides Ben or Revan, and even then, it was their power or minds that she sensed.

It’s not like that now. She pushes further within the force, driven by curiosity. Something within the broken general screams to be noticed.

She stops near Hux’s trembling body, dropping to her knees at his side. His eyes roll open, focusing on hers, the whites of them a sickly yellow. Tears fill her vision as she realizes what she is feeling is his soul, laid bare before her.

His struggle fills her senses, his pain and terror at facing imminent death overwhelming. Hux is clinging to life with each rattling breath, every moment an agony that drags weak sobs from his lips. His face is quaking, the muscles shaking on their own accord due to exhaustion and pain.

Her anger at the man who has tried to kill her, time and time again, fades until it is nothing. The hatred she’s long felt for him falls away with it. She can’t hate him, not when she can feel him like this. She truly sees for the first time, peers underneath the ugliness of his actions. Beneath the desperate ambition that drove him, his soul is screaming in need.

Hux’s hand reaches out to her, spastically, and on impulse she takes it. She gently holds on, his fingers ice cold in her grasp. His eyes burrow into hers, pleading and wild. He’s just a point in the web of life. A node in the connections to everything, a part of a whole. But he doesn’t know that. Hux is alone in his last moments, unable to feel the force. He’s terrified to die like this, trapped and resisting the unknown.

Jeyna acts on her instinct, letting her empathy guide her in the force. She doesn’t know what she is doing, but her intent drives her as she tries to reach out. She wants to comfort him, to bring him awareness.

Jeyna can feel it when she accomplishes the small connection, letting her energy flow into him. His eyes widen in shock, his shaking lips falling open. Hux’s hand tightens on hers, and relief floods through his mind. The connection is enough for him to realize he is not alone, as he had always believed.

She focuses on his pain, before faltering with uncertainty. Jeyna looks up, and realizes that though Ben is still focused on Revan, Luke is staring knowingly at her. He nods.

Jeyna closes her eyes, and lets her mind concentrate on the cause of Hux’s pain. Her energy flows through his body to soothe what it can. The force works with her, healing what has been broken and torn apart. It’s not enough, not nearly enough to stop it entirely. The injury is extensive, a web of destruction that stretches throughout his system.

But she knows when she’s managed to fix just enough of the damage done to him. His life force is no longer wavering uncertainly on the brink. She’s pulled him back from the edge of death, the energy she’s given enough to preserve his life. The force's currents are stronger in him now, and will hold him over until he can get proper medical attention.

When Jeyna opens her eyes again, Hux’s face has relaxed. She watches a tear escape, travelling down his pale skin to disappear into his hair. His gaze is startled, confusion and relief mixing there in equal amount. “I would’ve killed you,” Hux breathes, his voice a faint rasp. His hand still squeezes hers, clinging to her.

“I know,” Jeyna says softly. But it doesn’t matter to her, not anymore. His actions against her, the way he had demeaned her… it means nothing now that she can understand him like this. His motivations were driven by his weaknesses, his faults, his fears. They are only a clutter, an obscuring over what she can detect in him. There is light in his soul, and it only needs to grow.

Hux’s eyes search hers, desperate to understand. “I forgive you,” Jeyna tells him. His breath leaves his chest in a shaky exhale. More tears overflow from his eyes as her words sink in through the small bond she’s managed to form between them. It is not just forgiveness, but an invitation. Jeyna feels the effect of those simple words on his soul, that call to something better resonating.

Something shifts within Hux, something that has been buried deeply for too long. It burns brighter, surging stronger. Her small action has turned the tide within him.

Jeyna looks away when she realizes movement is happening across the bridge. Luke has refocused on Revan as the man shifts, pulling himself up from the floor to kneel. Uncle and nephew raise their lightsabers in unison, waiting to see what Revan does next.


	49. Ch. 49

Revan’s face tilts up, and he looks in control. The Emperor’s energy is still there in the force, clashing with Revan’s, but he is contained. For one moment Jeyna has the alarming idea that Revan is staring directly at her. Chills rocket down her spine at the expression on his face, before she realizes his eyes are not focused on her. Rather, they are staring at a space between where he kneels and she hovers by Hux.

Ben follows Revan’s line of site and his eyes widen in shock. She struggles to see what he is responding to so strongly, but all she can make out is a vague shimmering between them. Something in the force is disturbing the air, and she can’t see more than that. But Ben appears to sense more, staring at that place where Revan’s gaze has locked.

“Bastila,” Revan sighs. His hands relax by his sides, his expression becoming something peaceful.

Jeyna searches the space between them, desperately wanting to see what Ben and Revan see. Is it Bastila Shan? Has her presence somehow come for him? But no matter how her eyes roam, she can see nothing more than a shifting mirage, dancing in the air.

Revan’s mouth softens into a small smile before his eyes slide closed, his face falling down towards his chest. One moment he is there, and the next, he vanishes. Jeyna’s mouth falls open as his clothing crumples to the floor.

A blast of force energy is released, and it washes over her, radiating outwards from the space Revan’s body had previously occupied. The shimmering in the space before her grows stronger, and she breathes heavier as overwhelming joy hits her suddenly. She knows, somehow, that it is coming from Revan. It grows, swelling her heart with relief and happiness that isn’t hers. And then it is gone, snapping away from her as the distant connection with Revan breaks.

That small part of her that has been tied to him all her life is only now noticeable when cut free of the tether. The energy in the air fades, before the atmosphere settles back into calmness.

Ben’s eyes raise from where the disturbance had been, seeing Jeyna kneeling beside Hux. His lightsaber twitches upwards, eyes narrowing.

“It’s okay,” she tells him immediately, standing. But Ben’s expression has turned threatening, focused on the redheaded man on the ground.

Hux tries to push himself up, groaning. “Go. I’ll call off the fighters,” he tells Jeyna, voice weak. “Tell Organa the First Order wants a ceasefire.”

**Leaving Corellia**

True to Hux’s word, the TIE fighters retreat from the battle as the Millennium Falcon departs the Supremacy. The First Order’s fleet falls back, and as the message spreads throughout the Rebel forces, they do as well.

Han sits in the copilot’s seat, and Jeyna watches from her spot near the navigation chart as he leans forward to look outside. He watches with fascination as the TIE fighters blow right by them, none opening fire. “Guess we didn’t need Chewie on the cannon for our retreat,” Han muses. “He’s going to be bored down there.”

“Another hit and we could have a hull breach,” Ben replies. “We’re lucky he pulled back their forces.”

“How did you manage that?” Han asks curiously, studying his son as Ben pilots them away from the planet.

Ben shrugs. “I didn’t. It was Jeyna.”

Han turns to give her an incredulous look, but Jeyna can only shrug in response. She hadn’t intended this consequence, as fortunate as it might be. In the distance, she sees the Resistance command vessel appear to stretch and distort, as it jumps to hyperspace. A moment later, and they join it.

Jeyna looks away from the viewport, to where Han is still surveying her. “So, what is the stupidest thing you’ve ever done?” she asks, remembering his earlier promise to tell her.

Han smiles broadly. “Oh, you’re going to like this story. I had this job on Nar Shaddaa, and I had to sneak into a Hutt’s warehouse-”

Ben groans loudly, spinning around so Jeyna can see the pleading look on his face. “Not that story. Please do not tell her that story.”

“That’s a hilarious story, why not?” Han demands.

Ben shakes his head. “No one needs to hear that about a Hutt. No one needs to _picture that_ on a Hutt.”

Han seems to rethink before sighing. “Would you rather I tell her about the butterfly mission?”

Jeyna is amused to see a pink flush creep into Ben’s cheeks, spreading down his neck. Is he embarrassed? She can’t recall ever seeing such an emotion on him. He swallows heavily. “Can you at least let me marry her before you start sharing childhood stories about me?” Ben asks after a moment.

Han rolls his eyes. “Then hurry up and marry her,” he suggests, standing. He strides to the exit of the cockpit, pausing to explain. “I’m going to check the damage to the engine room. We might need to get it fixed up before you can take her off D’Qar.”

Ben’s eyes narrow in disbelief at his father. “You’re letting me take the Falcon?”

Han nods. “I won’t need her. I’ve got someplace I need to be.”

“Where is that?” Jeyna asks curiously. Won’t he need a ship to get to wherever he is going?

Han smiles. “Wherever Leia is,” he answers simply, leaving the space to head towards the engines.

She turns to look back at Ben, and finds him already watching her. The pink lingers in his skin, and she finds it oddly appealing. “Do I not get to hear about the butterfly mission, then?” she asks, smiling teasingly. The pink deepens, and her smile grows with appreciation. The blush softens him, and she loves it.

Ben looks flustered, lost for words. His eyes search hers with hesitation. She feels his presence, testing at the edge of her mind, and she opens to him. His energy is so nervous as it mingles with hers. As she stares into his eyes, she can feel him holding back from what he wants to say.

“Ben,” Jeyna breathes, his nerves managing to infiltrate her own emotions.

The ship lurches slightly as they drop out of hyperspace, and Ben has to turn away, breaking his hold of her gaze. D’Qar looms closer as he takes over from autopilot, bringing them down closer to the Rebel base. Their landing is a bit rough, indicating that Han was most likely correct about needing to do repairs before flying the ship again.

Jeyna pauses in the main hold, instead of following Han and Chewie out into the bright daylight of D’Qar. Revan’s robes and lightsabers are sitting on one of the flight seats where she had dropped them in a hurry departing the Supremacy. She surveys them, feeling something like remorse that this is all that remains of the man she’d barely gotten to know. He had sacrificed himself to protect them all from a threat that had lurked for millennia.

“You’re sad he is gone,” Ben comments quietly from behind her.

Jeyna bites her lip, considering that. “There’s so much I would have liked to ask him… So much I could have learned. Can you imagine everything he’s been through? All of those historical events he saw, firsthand? It’s all just…lost with him.”

What she says is true, the scholar in her is mourning the lost opportunities. But truthfully, there is something more. Meeting Revan had only made him seem more of a mystery. That part of her that had held onto him since she was a child, clinging onto his legend when she had nothing else, feels a little lost now.

“It might not be as lost as you think,” Ben says.

Jeyna gives him a questioning look. “What do you mean?”

“Before we breached the Supremacy’s hangar, he told me to take the droid to Dantooine. That there might be something there you’d appreciate,” Ben explains.

Her eyebrows raise, that familiar old burning curiosity returning. Had there been more on Dantooine than she’d found on her last visit? “Did he say what?” she asks eagerly.

Ben shakes his head, and she’s surprised when he sits the lightsaber Luke gave him down by Revan’s. She has a feeling as she stares at the three sabers, that Ben will not be using any of them. There is so much history there, in those three relics. She can almost feel it, echoes within the kyber crystals.

“Leia is looking for us,” Ben says after a moment, breaking Jeyna from her thoughts. She nods, following him from the ship.

**Minutes Later**

Jeyna watches as Leia embraces her son, love and pride radiating from his mother. Then she freezes when Leia releases Ben, only to pull Jeyna into a surprisingly strong hug. She tentatively wraps her arms around the older woman in return. “General Hux has requested to begin negotiations on behalf of the First Order,” Leia explains, releasing her.

Jeyna stares at her in shock. “He has!?”

Leia shakes her head thoughtfully, but can’t keep the hopeful smile off her face. “His message indicated he is aware that we have a common enemy. He feels the survival of the galaxy requires mutual cooperation,” Leia says. “Of course, it could be a lie, but given what Luke says he experienced with the Emperor… Perhaps he is being genuine.” 

“One small action can have very far reaching consequences,” Luke speaks up from beside Ben. “Your small act of compassion turned the heart of your enemy.”

Jeyna is stunned into silence, unsure what to say. Leia tempers the news with rationality. “We have to try to not get our hopes up too much. He is only one man, and it is probable others in the First Order will disagree with his decision. But any relaxation of hostilities would be enough to let us rebuild the Republic, so this could be very good.”

“He will most likely have detractors to contend with,” Ben speaks up. “But division within the Order will weaken it. Either way, it will benefit the Republic.”

Leia nods, looking content. Han and Chewie approach the group where they stand, in the shadow of one of the large hills of D’Qar. Han looks nervous as he reaches to kiss Leia’s cheek in greeting, but she smiles reassuringly at him.

Jeyna looks away from the pair, from the way they look at one another as if the rest of the world has vanished. Her gaze catches Ben’s, and she notices he has also awkwardly looked away from the tender way his parents are staring at each other. He holds his hand out, waiting like an invitation, and she takes it.

They slip away from the group, the sound of Chewie roaring something and Luke laughing following them as they disappear into the underground base. The Rebels they pass seem high energy, excited. The mission was viewed as a success, and the following news of a possible peace treaty with the First Order has their spirits high.

Jeyna and Ben sneak through them, hands entangled as he leads her to their temporary quarters. The minute the door slides shut, they collide. Ben’s arms surround her, urging her up on her tiptoes even as he hunches down to meet her in the eager kiss. His lips are soft and teasing, gently luring her into parting her own for his tongue. She edges back, dragging him with fingers twisted in his shirt to pull him down with her as she falls onto the bed.

She searches for the edge of his shirt, sliding her hands up underneath it to run them over his warm skin. Ben breaks from her lips to search onwards with his mouth, kissing her everywhere. She giggles slightly when he lays kisses on her cheeks, her forehead, even the tip of her nose. But the giggles turn to a quiet gasp when he tucks his head to find her throat, kissing and grazing his teeth over her pulse.

She shifts, pulling her legs up to wrap around his waist, pressing herself to him. Jeyna runs her fingers gently through his hair, her mind spinning with love as she tries to reach out. For the first time she is successful, strengthening their connection on her own. Her awareness of his feelings grows, affection and lust battling as his lips caress the delicate skin below her ear.

“Marry me,” he breathes lightly, so lightly she wonders if she really heard it.

“What?” she asks, half dizzy and surprised.

Ben pulls back, and she opens her eyes to see his, cautious and longing. “Marry me?” he repeats. She feels him holding his breath.

“Yes,” she whispers without hesitation. The tension fades from his gaze, and she smiles at the nervousness he’d been feeling. Had he really doubted what she’d say? She was already his, and everything else was a formality to her. She captures his lips, pouring her passion into their kiss. Ben groans softly against her at the way she kisses him, his hips grinding down into hers. The motion is enough to send any sensible thoughts spinning from both of their minds.

**Later**

Her skin feels so hot against the cool air, her breaths rapid as she tries to calm her racing heart. Ben pulls her back against him, shifting down so he can nuzzle into the crook of her neck. For a long time there is nothing but their breathing, gradually slowing as they both return to reality. His hands trace slow, random patterns over her bare body before he speaks.

“I don’t think I did that right,” he admits quietly.

Jeyna furrows her eyebrows, confused. “I thought you did everything right,” she replies. Ben laughs slightly, his chest shaking against her. She can feel him smiling against her skin before he explains.

“I meant, I think I was supposed to get down on one knee,” he says.

Her eyes widen. “Oh! Oh, you meant that…”

He laughs again, his arm tightening around her affectionately. “Yes, that…”

“I don’t really know what you’re supposed to do,” Jeyna answers after a moment. She hadn’t ever thought about it, romance and marriage had always been the last thing on her mind. “But it was perfect, to me,” she adds quietly. She feels her cheeks warm with a blush for some reason.

“Good,” he says softly. Ben shifts, and she feels him pull blankets up over their entangled legs. Her sleepy mind ponders the time. Isn’t it still daylight outside? But she is tired, and she realizes it doesn’t matter if they sleep now. She feels safe, for the first time in so long. And with that, she realizes she is happy in a way she hasn’t experienced much before. A peaceful happiness that feels calm as she lays with him. She lets herself relax in the security of his arms, her mind finally, blissfully quiet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 more chapter to go! I'm not crying! (I am though...)


	50. Ch. 50

**Days Later, Dantooine**

Jeyna sits on the ramp of the Millenium Falcon, letting her legs stretch out onto the grass beneath it. Her pants and boots are dusty with dirt, and Ben’s clothes are no better. They’ve spent the morning on the planet exploring the cave system she’d found when she first came to Dantooine, until they located the cavern of kyber crystals.

Ben is currently in the Falcon’s garage, working on rebuilding his saber. So Jeyna enjoys the peace and quiet outside while she waits. From here, Dantooine’s plains stretch off in a rolling expanse of green under a bright sun. The landscape is occasionally interrupted with a low tree or rock formation, but the tranquility of nature goes as far as her eyes can see.

Jeyna had liked Dantooine when she’d arrived, before the First Order showed up to hunt her down. She’d had a feeling like there was a lot to be discovered on the sparsely populated farming world. The feeling returns now, making her mind grow more curious by the minute. HK-47 had claimed Revan left a cache of records in the remains of the old Jedi Enclave when asked what his master could have hidden on Dantooine. But she tries to be patient despite her curiosity, and wait for Ben before marching off to find it.

The droid’s metal feet clank onto the ramp of the ship as it joins her. “Greetings, Master.”

“Greetings, HK,” Jeyna replies. She looks up to spot its red eyes focused on her.

“Query: Is there anything you need killed today?” HK asks, and she swears she isn’t imagining the hopefulness of its mechanical voice. She eyes the blaster in its grip.

“No, I don’t think so, HK…”

The droid’s head seems to sag minutely. “Additional query: Perhaps we could find something to use for target practice, Master? I would hate to lose proficiency in my skills.”

“You’re a droid, HK. I think the only way you can lose proficiency is going too long without a repair job. And Ben just tuned you up,” she replies, squinting her eyes as she leans forward a bit. Jeyna can see some sort of creature in the sky, high up amongst the clouds. It flaps massive wings as it soars by the sun.

“Condescending Answer: Ah, yes. The organ sack did a magnificent job,” HK says. She wonders why Revan would program a droid with sarcasm, but admits with a small smile that it can be entertaining.

“He got you functioning again,” Jeyna points out.

“Rebuttal: I would never have lost functionality if it weren’t for the organ sack in the first place,” the droid states. “If you would like to explore the Enclave now, I am more than capable of accompanying you.”

Jeyna’s smile grows. “Yeah, you have a point. But we have to wait for Ben, HK. I need him.”

“Yes, Master. I am aware of your hormonal addiction to the organ sack,” the droid retorts. “My behavioral analysis of your interactions makes it abundantly clear.”

She raises her eyebrows at it before laughing. “I mean, we’ll need him in the Enclave. I read that it is infested with laigreks, among other dangers.”

“Irritated Explanation: Master, I am a fully functional assault droid, more than capable of any combat skills required,” HK argues. She rolls her eyes, hearing footsteps as Ben seems to be emerging from the garage.

Jeyna turns, spotting Ben walking absentmindedly. He’s examining his lightsaber, face distracted. She inspects it as he gets closer, starting down the ramp to stop by her. It looks like he’s managed to repair the same handle, keeping his previous design.

“How did it go?” she asks hopefully.

Ben sits beside her, his long legs stretching well passed hers. “Alright. The kyber crystals here are strange,” he admits.

“Strange how?” Jeyna asks curiously.

“Kyber crystals tend to absorb energy from around them. The ones on Dantooine have been through some sort of struggle… The whole planet echoes with it, but it is most noticeable in them,” Ben tries to explain. “This one is very unique.”

He holds the lightsaber out to her, and she takes it tentatively. “Is it different from your last one?” she wonders.

Ben nods. “The last crystal I used was very strong, but it fractured under its own power. This one is more resilient, I think.”

Jeyna turns the handle over nervously, but Ben gives her an encouraging look. “Go on.”

She ignites the lightsaber, stunned to see the color beam that erupts from the handle. At first she thinks it is pure white, but soon realizes it has a faint silver sheen, the beam stable in a way his red had never been. “I didn’t know kyber crystals could be this color,” she says quietly.

“There are many here that would be considered rare,” Ben explains. “Maybe one day, you’ll take one to make your own lightsaber.”

Jeyna laughs, shaking her head in denial. She turns off the lightsaber, handing him back his weapon. He sits it between them, taking her hand instead. “I don’t think so,” she says, amused.

“Did you ever think you would use the force to save a man’s life?” Ben asks, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.

She looks up, and his eyes capture her in that familiar magnetic way. She searches their depths, feeling like she’s being pulled into his gaze. “Well, no.” 

“Exactly,” he breathes, moving closer. She tilts her face up to meet him as he brushes his lips over hers, in a light tease. She scoots closer to him on the ramp, reaching up to hold his cheek as she tries to steal a deeper kiss.

“Query: Master, should I leave you to press your feeding holes together in privacy, as social customs dictate?” HK speaks up with disgust.

Jeyna pulls back from Ben’s lips to roll her eyes in annoyance, vaguely considering that they should have left the droid deactivated. Ben laughs softly at her thoughts. 

**Afternoon, Jedi Enclave**

They manage to find their way to the ruined courtyard of the old Enclave, and pause to take a break there. A lot of the historical structure is damaged, entire hallways collapsed beyond use. Their progress has been slow, winding through a maze of rubble to get further into the structure.

Jeyna turns in a slow circle, spotting the remains of a fountain beneath wildly overgrown plant life. The sun warms her face, lighting the space up in a golden tone as she takes in what used to be gardens. “This would have been very pretty, back in its day,” she observes. “It’s hard to imagine though, with the state it’s in now.”

Ben sits on a low stone wall, joining her in looking around. Three of the four walls surrounding the courtyard still stand, but one has crumpled in to leave a pile of rock in its stead. “We’ve passed a lot of damage from impacts. It looks like this was bombarded from low orbit.”

Jeyna stills, trying to feel the force that is pulling at her with gentle currents. There is something to the Enclave within the force, something haunting yet comforting, that wavers in a way she can’t pin down. “This place feels… different. It’s not dark or light, but it’s.. something else,” she tries to explain.

Ben nods. “It’s the same as the crystals. The unique history has changed it, and you can feel that in how the force flows in this place.”

She closes her eyes to focus closer, a peaceful feeling sinking into her muscles the more she tunes in. “I think I like it here,” she admits after a moment.

“I think I do too. But it will take a lot of work to rebuild,” Ben replies.

Jeyna opens her eyes to give him a surprised look. “Rebuild?” she repeats.

Ben’s expression is tentative as he searches her gaze. “The force is well balanced here, and it is relatively safe and private. It would be a good location to train…” He trails off, shrugging one shoulder slightly.

Jeyna gives him a small, cautious smile. “Are you going to do what Revan asked?”

Ben makes a face, and her smile grows at the disgruntled response. “I don’t know if I’ll make a good teacher…”

“Well, you can practice with me,” she offers, wandering closer to where he sits on the garden wall. He grins slowly.

“I’d like that,” he admits, reaching out to grab her, pulling her closer. She goes without resistance, giggling slightly when he pulls her tightly into his arms. They both freeze when the moment is interrupted by the sound of a blaster shot.

Jeyna closes her eyes in irritation, waiting for some communication from HK-47. When she hears nothing, she calls out, “HK! I said, _no_ using the laigreks for target practice!”

Ben laughs. “Bet you’re regretting asking me to fix it.”

“I might ask you to explode it before we’re done here,” she says dramatically.

He stands, and they venture further into the ruins, leaving the sunlit courtyard behind. They catch up to HK, and press deeper into the underground levels of the ancient Jedi building. Their small lanterns barely cast enough light, but are enough to navigate by. The laigreks are more numerous the farther they get from the surface, but a few shots of HK’s blaster seem to push them back effectively.

When they arrive at the Jedi archives, Jeyna is surprised to see the extent of the place. The space has been strangely preserved, though she spots some records that have been damaged by time. But enough is still salvageable that she knows it would take her months to catalogue the discovery. She’s never found so many records from the Jedi before, making the archive quite a prize.

“Master Revan’s holocrons were placed in a secure archive, so as to be inaccessible to Jedi padawans,” HK explains, marching through the rows. Jeyna and Ben follow, arriving at the security door in the back. It looks jammed, refusing to open.

“Can we force it open?” she wonders.

“Suggestion: We might need to blast the door open with a sonic grenade, Master,” HK replies.

Ben pushes passed the droid to ignite his saber. “We aren’t setting off a grenade down here, it could trigger further collapse.” He strikes through the locking mechanism in a single stroke with the new blade of his lightsaber, and it releases immediately.

The door slides open, revealing a dark chamber. Jeyna moves to step forward first, only hesitating when Ben gently holds her back with one arm. He steps in before her, letting his light flood the small space. His arm falls to allow her entry when he’s cleared it.

She follows him, eyes widening at the double row of holocrons. “What are all these for?” she asks.

“They were transcribed from the final transmissions of the Ebon Hawk,” HK answers.

“The Ebon Hawk? Revan’s ship?” Jeyna clarifies.

The droid’s red eyes glow from the dark doorway. “Explanation: Yes, Master. While Revan was searching for the Eternal Empire, he recorded numerous hours of his thoughts. These were transmitted back to Bastila Shan, who had them transferred to holocrons for safe keeping. The Jedi agreed to store them here, with the understanding they would be kept away from all but the historians.”

Jeyna surveys them, each identical to the ones they’d found on planets all over the galaxy. They remind her of that first holocron she’d reached out to as a girl, hidden away but calling to her eager mind. There had been a time when she would have been overjoyed at a discovery like this.

But for the first time in her life, she longs for something beyond her research. She has other things in mind for the immediate future, things that have nothing to do with holocrons or archives.

And so she steps from the small alcove, and suggests they get out of the ruins before nightfall. Ben looks curious, but agrees, and they retrace their path back to their ship.

**Sunset, Millennium Falcon**

They lay on the ramp together as the sun sinks lower on Dantooine’s horizon. Jeyna shifts, moving her head from Ben’s shoulder to rest on his arm. The air is getting a bit cooler, the scenery before them drenched in an orange blaze before night descends.

Ben speaks up softly, interrupting the silence that had stretched between them since making it back to the ship. “I suppose we’ll be here a while,” he concedes.

Jeyna considers that before shaking her head. “We can come back later,” she suggests. Her response must surprise him, because he shifts, propping himself up to look down at her face.

The sunset gives his skin a warm tone, casting his hair into a rich brown color. He surveys her curiously, lips quirking. “A scholar, turning down the chance to pursue her studies? What could be more important?” he asks teasingly.

“Why don’t you look and see?” Jeyna offers. He grins at the invitation into her thoughts, his presence blooming in her awareness. Her love for him surges, welcoming him as their minds blend together.

Ben sees what she is picturing, in fragments and images. A vision of white sand, and sparkling rocks jutting out into crystal blue water. Waves rushing up towards an archway of rock, while sand shifts underfoot as she rushes to him.

She imagines the promises they could make there, in that place where they had first realized their love. They had chosen each other there, and it only seems right to exchange their vows in that same spot. They could begin the rest of their lives on that peaceful beach that stretches along the ocean. A break from the mysteries and fighting, from everything else in the universe… Just the two of them, finally together in every way. She doesn’t want to wait any longer.

Ben smiles tenderly, before he asks, “Well, what are we waiting for?”

Jeyna can only rise up to meet his lips in response, overcome by passion. Their love wraps around them as they kiss, warm and alive, while their minds are swept away by shared hope for what the future holds. As the sun sinks below the horizon, they are both lost and found in each other's arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've made this Part 1 of the Black Honey series. If you have an idea/suggestion for Part 2 that you'd like to see included, mention it in a comment!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has made it here with me, I appreciate you taking the time to read! It's been an amazing experience to write and share this :)


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